Women are born with an instinct to pick up sounds of nearby male prospects pissing. They can hear through the bathroom door and if you are pissing too lightly they won't consider you for sexual activity. But if your piss sounds like a waterfall it'll trigger a subconscious primal feeling within women. It's true and they talk about it. They're giggling when they hear you piss so betaly. The guy pissing on the side of the toilet bowl will forever be known as a chode, even if he does happen to be rocking an elephant trunk such as Proud Manlet. My secret is to walk into the restroom with one of those squirting water bottles and squeeze it with every bit of strength in me while pointing it directly towards the center of the toilet. The second the water hits the toilet water with such force the females within 2mi of me will begin to feel a tingling sensation in their lower belly area. When I step out the stall the guys in the restroom will naturally avoid my gaze as I've just pronounced myself as the true alpha male. When I step out of the restroom I make a "SssSss" sound to confirm to the nearby women that it was indeed me who made that pissening piss. This is the males natural mate calling. I stare intensely into the eyes of every female that meets my gaze while making a "SssSss", from this point on no words are said. The herd of women follow me back to my place where we proceed to have a reverse bukakke. Some guy found out about me cheating the system with the water bottle and started to do the same. That dumbass doesn't know Ive moved on to water hoses now, so yeah, phuck em.
>>28656907
This is truly original r9k material.
You should be proud OP, you're bringing the board up to its former glory
I pee to the side to prevent bladder splatter.
It has nothing to do with being a beta, I just don't want piss on my pants.
So what, the Horsecock effect?
That is old news, buddy.
Interesting. I get turned on by watching and listening to women pee, so I guess it has to go both ways.
>>28656907
I used to piss in the water but my mom told me to stop, it made her dick envy she still is, crazy bitch.
If only I didnt listen, I would've been alpha now.
>tfw no pissdrinking gf
>that bathroom
how horrifying. also thanks for the pasta
>>28657114
This is why I can't use public bathroom. I always get boners regardless of male or female peeing. Then I basically have to stand up and bend forward aiming my now erect peepee into the bowl while my face almost hits the stall door
>>28656907
>Women are born with an instinct to pick up sounds of nearby male prospects pissing.
autismofaggotry confirmed.
here in my country, if they hear some dude pissing, they instinctively show the highest possible disgust.
without bothering measuring/checking/listening the piss.
99% of the threads on this board exist only to prey on people's insecurities.
>>28657609
Welcome to /r9k/.
Enjoy it.
I piss lightly on the side of the bowl so it doesn't splash back piss and toilet water on me.
>>28657176
>I used to piss in the water but my mom told me to stop
No, that was beta shaming. Women do that when a beta male pretends to act alpha, they shame you.
Even your own mother does it.
I don't want to be a dick about it, but its even scientific research, where birds painted as Alpha Bird, got pecked and attack, but when given sterioids, the bird assumed the position as alpha bird.
Women will rule this world one day, enjoy lack of "logic" and all creepers confined to uphold society, free from womens sight
>See: Stare rape
This is actually an insult in several european languages, an "edge-pisser."
>>28657811
>No, that was beta shaming. Women do that when a beta male pretends to act alpha, they shame you.
Nah, they do that when anyone does something they don't like. Then after a few times they realize he's not going to fold, so they start praising it instead (when it's him) because they don't want people seeing them be defied.
Only on r9k could people really think these kind of things through
I really, really, really like these kind of threads.
>>28657609
this post only exists to prey on people's insecurities
>be pissing at urinal
>guy pissing in urinal next to me accidentally pisses on my shoe
man that was awkward. we both just pretended like it didnt happen
>>28657488
why do you think that is? I think it's pretty easy to hear the difference between a man and a woman peeing and the man doesn't turn me on because it's coming from a dick.
But I do prefer to see women doing it somewhere other than the toilet. I hope I can see it in real life one day.
anyone else get turned on like crazy by this?
I sit down.
What does that make me?
>>28658145
Hey man, thanks for explaining the reference! Here's a le upboat for (You) :D
>>28656907
>someone wrote that
Just
>>28656907
I lost my shit, 10/10 OP
what if I piss in the sink?
>>28658409
I also do this when not in a public bathroom. You never know when it gets wild and starts spraying a second stream to the side.
>>28658459
Thanks, Lori.
origniggershavetodieandgetoutofeurope
Neither, i sit down to piss.
>Mfw I just walk up to a bitch and piss on her legs and she's now forced to suck my pisscock
