inb4 normie REEEEE
>tired of being so fucking lonely
>be me 4/10
>have a good job, but no ability to manage money so I live with my mom, age 23
>install tinder for the 10th time in my life
>match with a 6/10, not impressed but I know I can't do better
>start talking about only thing we have in common: gym
>don't actually go to gym
>set up a date
>she lets me wait for her 20min
>texted her that i'm 5'2"
>she paniced
>didn't flake but was nervous as fuck
>she looked a lot better than in pictures, like a fucking 7/10, i'm shocked
>i suit up totally and get a haircut for first time in past 6 months
>she's positively surprised to see that I'm not a midget
>give her shit for being late
>we go to a pub
>drink
>we actually get along really well
>i drink a lot
>i like to drink
>i somehow predict her zodiac
>she's into that
>i somehow predict that "she's bit different and isn't like most people"
>she's totally into it
>she says she's a leddit user, i pretend to be, too
>she's dumb af
>i go along with it
>she says that it's amazing how well we match
>i drink, btw keep paying for the whole date, despite the fact it was my last 80$
>eventually she says she's bored
>thinking that's a green sign, but I know I can't take her home cause of living with mom in 2 room flat
>propose to get a taxi to go to her place to drink some tea
>bitches love tea
>she agrees
>we get a taxi, i have last 9$ and i tip it all to the taxidriver
cont
>>28653371
>Not pre-typed
You disappoint me anon
>we get to her place
>holy shit
>she's rich
>she's fucking rich
>nicest apartment i've ever been to
>she drinks tea, i drink vodka
>tell her she not gonna get 'any' tonight
>know bitches love that shit
>give her a massage
>listen her talk about how stupid most people are (oh the irony)
>agree with everything she says
>she says she can't believe how smooth I am (wtf, i'm the most robotic dude ever, but she most be drunk or desperate or both)
>we start dryhumping
>she proposes we go to bedroom
>we do
>i actually have condoms
>have hot foreplay
>struggling getting a condom on
>while giving her tongue totally lost my boner
>somehow got rubber on my soft dick
>went once, but the rubber was on so loose that it got lost inside her, she didn't notice
>quickly put 2nd rubber on and keep going
>majestic 1min till i bust with a soft dick
>she's reaction "that's it?????"
>after that try to cuddle, she says she doesnt like cuddling
>almost fall asleep
>she says she has to rest and it's better i leave
>i leave
>never hear from her again
moral of story, robots: no matter how fucking smooth you are, if you do not have a big cock and you can't ram girls for hours - they will quickly dismiss you.
now i gave up on women, i only watch porn.
>>28653450
inb4 the girl dies from toxic shock syndrome when she doesn't discover the condom is still inside her two weeks later.
>>28653450
By getting laid that means you had the balls to meet a girl and go on a date. Doesn't matter if the experience itself turned out to be bad, that was a great achievement. Keep on trying
>>28653538
OP here, the title isn't ironic. I truly believe the date itself was perfect. I been on dates before I became a robot and they all sucked so much and spaghetti spilling appeared everywhere.
The date was perfect.
But god damn how can a woman expect you to be a sex god if you don't have any practise.
... that bed accident fucking killed my confidence. Why bother? I need to buy a penis prostate or something.
all that effort into typing the story, why even bother
>>28653806
muh attention
You posted this same exact thread the other day cuntwad. Get some new material you faggot fuck.
If you're going to come here at least come up with something new. At the very least don't use the wojack wearing a pepe hoodie pic again.
You fucking reddit frog posting pieces of shit are the cancer eating away at this board. You're not welcome. All you do is post the same shit over and over with just minor changes to get past the robot. You're not welcome. We want you to kill yourselves. We want you to die.
After this thread just about dies you're going to bump it in an hour and hope it catches some momentum. Like you always fucking do. Why can't you let us robots have our own discussions? Why do you have to force the same few topics always? Does it make you feel like a god?
Fuck you OP. I hope you drink some draino and leave.
>>28653371
don't drink so much if you're gonna use your dick you reeeeetard
>>28653371
>>28653450
You lost your virginity and will never have the honor of becoming a wizard. Leave now in shame and never return.
>>28653450
Read Sex God Method by Daniel Rose
>>28654266
err no, literally OC which i typed on spot.
>>28654276
only chan-related picture i had, deleted my rare pepe folder ages ago
>>28654289
so do i
>>28654319
no, fuck you, fuck you /b/ tards who've made r9k into a trap-fest. It used to be a solid >tfw no gf place, now it's just a fucking gay, trap, mlp fest. fuck you.
