I can't take it anymore /r9k/. seeya in the news, check singaporean news tonight.
lighting myself on fire. seeya.
https://youtu.be/hAbV8GdNivc
>>28622895
op plz don't. burning sucks I got badly burned years ago and it's totally ruined my life. There's a good chance you'll survive at least a couple days, which is the worst torture in the world.
Bosting in historic thread
godspeed anon
>>28622933
How did you get burned? Are you very disfigured?
>>28622933
I got gasoline.
Other than that, sorry I really can't. Gonna do it tonight, actually debating whether to head off now or later as I got a general timeframe I'm planning for.
Past that for proof of autism and that I've been at it for a while have a pic of me from a few months back.
if you're dead set on this, make it count
good luck op
don't do it OP but if you do make sure you leave a note blaming modern feminism for your death
>>28623098
ty, gonna head off within an hour or less (planning to light up at rush hour when most people around)
Can't you be a refugee in Europe? They let anyone in.
Since your chinese make sure you take a bunch of indians and malays with you first. Gotta maintain a good ratio.
I'm in SG. Don't do it OP our news is meant to be mild
Are you fucking kidding me? Only thing that Pizza hut has got going for them is their fucking stuffed shit. Their crust is okay tier at best. Domino's has their godly cheese, bread, sauce, and holy fuck that crust. I would fuck that crust if I could. I would rather eat Papa Shit's pizza than fucking Pizza Hut's pizza. I bet you don't even know your pizza kid. Don't get me started on their prices. While you can get a fucking pizza at Pizza Hut for $5.00, you can get TWO for just fucking $5.99. If that's not the greatest fucking pizza then I guess I'm just a fucking pleb who doesn't know their pizza. But I fucking do, so you need to go brush up on your pizza facts before you fucking disrespect Domino's.
yell shit, I hope this actually changes something.
God speed OP
>>28622895
Jus b urself, it werked for me
I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.
In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.
Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.
Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.
Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.
>>28623123
sure, let it not be said I never had a good sense of humor. I'll leave it on my desk, my senpai knows me better than to believe it I hope. maybe I'll write "jk"
>>28623158
Eh, that's the point. At least it'll be a change of pace.
>>28623135
Wouldnt people just come and save you by putting out the fire?
Ask yourself why wouldn't you want to have sex with a trans person? Do you not think that trans women are "real" women? If so >>> you're transphobic. If you actually think that trans women are real women, then why don't you treat them the same? Why wouldn't you want to have sex with one?
Mind you, the example here is that you're clearly attracted to a woman, you want to have sex with her and then she tells you she's trans and you go like "ugh I'm not transphobic or anything but I'm not into fucking degenerates". In this example, you are clearly attracted to the woman and that magically changes because you found out she's trans meaning that the fact she's trans is the problem here. But why is it a problem though? Here are couple routes you can take:
"she's not feeeeeeeeeemale!!1! I'm a male and I want feeeeeeeeeeemales!!
True she's not female, but she is a woman. Attraction doesn't work that way. You aren't attracted to a genotype of a person but rather the phenotype ie the look of the organism because your eyes can't fucking scan their DNA to determine if they are male or female. All your brain has to go on is the how they look. If they look like an attractive woman you will be attracted to them regardless if they are male. So sex is largely irrelevant here. Sure you can say "b..but you look for a partner so you can settle down and have children!!1!", no just no. Most of the sex humans do is not for the purpose of reproduction, but for the purpose of pleasure and you can get the same pleasure with a trans woman as you can with a cis woman.
"she doesn't have a REAL vagina!!1! It won't FEEEL as good
Shit, think about this anon, there's no reason to just throw it all away. Burning to death is also one of the most painful was to go.
Seek help from professionals around you.
Niggaz be mad crazy up in this mothafocka
False. Aside from fringe cases where trans women couldn't afford good surgery, most trans vaginas look exactly like the natural ones. And they feel like them too. Most people wouldn't notice the difference, and you wouldn't either. But lets for the sake of the argument say that she doesn't even have a vagina. She has a penis, a feminine penis but she looks like this, and you're attracted to her. You two find a room and she goes " /u/Surinical I'm a trans woman and I have a feminine penis" What do you do? Go. If you aren't into the whole penis thing, you don't have to do that(daily reminder: genitalia doesn't have a gender. Women can have penises and men can have vaginas. It is not relevant.), you can do other things like : she can give you a handjob or a blowjob or you can fuck her anally. But no! You don't do that because you are transphobic, instead you run away while screaming just how not transphobic you are. Why do I bring up this example? Well, imagine if it's a one night stand right, you won't ever see this woman again, so what is the difference between that and a woman that's on her period and doesn't want to have vaginal sex right now but she's willing to do other stuff with you? Would you run then too? No you wouldn't you transphobic shit. Gender is performative. Sex is biological. You aren't attracted to sex, you're attracted to gender.
Gender = Man / Woman
Sex = male / female (irrelevant)
The thing with people ITT is that you actually believe you're tolerant and progressive while being horribly transphobic. "lelelelel I don't give a shit if a man in a dress wants me to call him a woman I'll do it!! I'm not transphobic but I totally won't have sex with a man in a dress who isn't a woman even though he identifies as a woman lelellele" - you
>>28623212
what's a professional gonna do? His problem is that he lives in a dictatorship
>>28623209
>gasoline
Dont do it OP, ffs
Don't ever, EVER watch an anime called "Boku." Man this sht is so wrong in so many motherfuking levels yo...I was talking to one of my white friends and he sent me 3 videos with the name only labeled "Boku" I said to this dude, What's this sht? He just giggled and said "Just watch them and MAKE SURE NOBODY IS AROUND YOU WHEN WATCHING IT!" Then I thought it was some weird porno or some strange sht but as I watched the first video, I was like "Yo.....what the fuk.." THEN IT CONTINUED and I was like "Yoooooooooooooooooooooooo......." THEN THEY GOT IN THE MOTHERfukING CAR AND THEN I SAID "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" I couldn't fuking believe what I just saw, It was like Satan gave me his porno collection, sht was so disturbing..YET I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING IT, THEN VIDEO TWO AND IT WAS TWO OF THEM.....THOSE NIGGAS...YOOOOOOO.......THOSE NIGGAS....AND THAT GIRL SAW THEM THEN SHE...YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... THEN THAT NIGGA TOOK THAT DOG TOY THEN YYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........IT WAS LIKE YOUR bich WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU BUT SHE WANTED TO SOMETHING "DIFFERENT" AND IT WAS SO fukED UP AND CREEPY, YOU JUST...KEPT WATCHING IT...AND THAT'S WHAT I fukING DID!!!!! THEN I SAW VIDEO THREE...THREE NIGGAS...THRRREEEEE!!!!!! IT...WAS...THHHHHHRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! AND COCO WAS HIS NAME NIGGA, COCO WAS HIS MOTHERfukING NAME!!!!!! OH MY GOD,I AIN'T GOING TO HEAVEN NIGGAS, I ALREADY SOLD MY SOUL TO LUCIFER! So I Just want to tell you all right now..DON'T WATCH AN ANIME LABELED BOKU, DON'T DO IT NIGGA, IT'S LIKE SUCCUBUS. REMEMBER WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU NIGGAS!
>>28622895
>>28622933
>>28622988
>>28623039
>>28623060
>>28623098
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.
I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Bane thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" CIA agent guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about a capeshit movie. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Banefag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "FOR YOU FOR YOU FOR YOU." You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's alIl you'll ever be.
Forever...
>>28623231
This. I'm not going to be able to go back home.
Never even reported myself- others reported me, and I wound up at a mental hospital for a few days.... guess what, now I'm back serving the army again, can't return still of course... only difference is I'm now not allowed to use guns, explosives or sharp objects. They took away my fork.
hello. chargers need to win. i think they cand o that by applying more pressure on both sides of the ball. by dosng this they should draft good people that can do that. joey bosa is a good start but not good enough. i will alszso review their draft picks here. as i said joey bosa is a good but he was not th e best. they should have got jeremy tunsil. then in the next round they got hunter henery. i think he is goo d because he is a tight end like rob gronkowski who is also good. then they got max tuerk. this was a bad pick. they did not neeed a center. then they gotr joshua perry. this was an excellent pick. the biggest seal of the draft. he will mbe amazing. then they got drew paser a punter. this is a pure sit pick because he is a punter and it is late. i hate the chragrers for pickig this person. bten i forgive them for getting donovan clark. this is a good person. tunsil would be bette rthough. now that he have established the good of the draft picks we should see were thesee fit in. bosa can start riigh away. he is ready for it. hutner henery can aalso sart. i also beleve that max tuerk can start as well as s joshua perry. but not tat punter. ia also belueve donovan clark can do well bcause he is ctaully my second vousin. i do not if he can start though. but what about the quaerter back situation. phillip rivers is not that great abd he is aaging. if they want an aging old qb they should get peyont manning. i beleive theuy should have drafte dpaxton lynch. joey bosa is good btt he coudl ahve waited untitl the second round. paxtont lunch could have sstarted. i hate seeing him cry drafted by the broncoss. the chargers also signed lotes of udfass. whcih mean s undrafted free agent. will go go througg each one. first ikechi ariguzp. he is ok but we dont need old. then manuel aspiralla. we do not need cb, bad choice. then ben becjwith. this is a good signing.
>>28623162
I fapped to the pic thanks love
farewell op
selamat tinggal op
Hey Faggots, My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook. Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening. Pic Related: lt's me and my bitch
>>28622895
op, you're a fag. If you're going to off yourself, why the fuck would it be over the government.
go out fighting if you really have a death wish.
but really, you have a sophomoric understanding of political structures, government, and humanity.
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3_5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
>>28623333
Haven't seen this pasta in a while
>>28623277
So why can't you leave Singapore once your army time is over?
>>28623354
>>28623352
>>28623350
>>28623332
>>28623322
>>28623277
>>28623244
>>28623233
>>28623231
>>28623213
For almost THREE MINUTES /b/'s highest post count was 14999949. All attempts at posting were blocked with a "MySQL connection failure." I can believe a connection failure for 90%, 99%, or 99.9% of the total posters. But for three minutes not ONE post made it to /b/. That's IMPOSSIBLE. By the laws of probability at least a few posters should have been able to successfully post. But no. ALL POSTS were blocked for THREE MINUTES. After this time, we are greeted with a stickied 15000000GET of Spacecataz. The first post in the sticky was made FOUR MINUTES after that sticky was supposed to have been posted. With tens of thousands of /b/tards refreshing madly, is it remotely plausible that it took thousands of pairs of eyes FOUR MINUTES to locate the sticky and type out a reply? Or rather, is it more plausible that that sticky was made during the "dark period" wherein nobody could post? Nobody, that is, except for you know who.
The trick to mod fuckery is not to make it obvious, guys. There have been failGETS before, but at least there was a glimmer of hope that they were simply failing users, not mods stroking their bloated egos. Now there can be no doubt. Fuck you, mods. Fuck you.
>>28623354
This. You're applying a permanent solution to a temporary problem like this shitty military life. Once this part is over you can go elsewhere
>>28623376
top notch post
>>28622933
>>28623098
>>28623123
>>28623135
>>28623139
>>28623157
>>28623158
>>28623164
>>28623174
>>28623204
>>28623209
God damn you, /b/. I fucking hate you. I've been noticing how you've been fucking with my head, making me see memes everywhere, and now it cost me my job.
I used to work at a pizza joint called Papa Gino's, which is a chain here in New England. Today, two guys came in, and they were very obviously a couple. Never in my life have I seen people this blatantly gay. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bleeding heart liberal hippie treehugger commie bastard, and I'm even bisexual myself, but DAMN these two were gay. Everything was going fine, right up until I served them their food. Instead of the usual "enjoy your meal" bit that I usually say, /b/ seized control of my brain.
"There you are, guys. Enjoy your AIDS." As soon as that A passed my lips, alarm bells went nuts in my head. But it was too late. I didn't realize what I had just done until I had finished speaking. The two guys just stared at me in shock for a momment, and I went pale. I knew that my days of free pizza and all the Mountain Dew I could drink were over in that one instant.
The two dudes go DIPSHIT. My manager comes over, and there's screaming about hate crimes, bigotry, lawsuits, and one of them even stood up and threatened to beat the shit out of me. We got into a fight, and my manager got scared, and said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air.
I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!"
I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Iooked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.
>>28623204
Don't kill yourself bro. You would be wasting life that a lot of people are robbed of.
I do like the note though. At least your heart's in the right place.
>>28623398
>>28623388
>>28623354
>>28623204
>>28623158
>>28623139
>>28623135
>>28623039
>>28622988
>>28623352
I'm an Aplha male /b/.
And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasnos you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that?
Yeah, I'm fucking her.
The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly aks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?
Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder.
The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?
Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?
i think he left...
>>28623427
>>28623398
>>28622988
>>28623212
>>28623213
>>28623233
>>28623244
>>28623277
>>28623350
And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you you pathetic fuck. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to fuck 6 ways from sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it.
And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and dissapear, and all that emo bullshit? You're triggering her "Don't Fuck" instinct something feirce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to fuck her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what lt's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath.
>>28623442
>>28623427
>>28623388
>>28622988
>>28623060
>>28623157
>>28623164
>>28623174
And she's cheating on you, I promise that. When she sits around quiet and uncomfortable, acting irritable and irrational towards you, wanting you to just back away and leave her alone, it's not her period. It's because I haven't called her for a day or two and her instincts are telling her to go find me. The primitive section of her brain doesn't want to risk smelling like another man when she gives herself to me, she wants me to know she's completely mine. We do things together she tells you she never would. Her pooper? Mine. I want to give her a facial? of course. I want her to suck the cum out of my dick, even though I just finished pumping away at her ass? she's never going to tell me no. She doesn't WNAT to tell me no. She wants me to know she'll do anything it takes to keep me. She'll rim my ass while she's down there sucking me off if it means pleasing me. She'll drink my cum from a shotglass. She'll wear a buttplug when we go out to dinner. She'll sleep handcuffed to my headboard. Anything.
And then she'll go home to you and teIl you she's not in the mood today.
I'd say you should become an hero, but you being aruond makes her want a real man all the more, so keep fagging it up emo bitches, I'll keep that pussy warm while you're crying in the corner.
>>28623427
thanks.
>>28623442
still here for now, soon tho. afraid of getting caught but I misplaced my flags after taking them down, looking for them rn.
Godspeed roboto. I hope your death is quick and painless.
>>28623451
Thing is, I would agree with you if your post described me. I'm fine, other than national service (army) here.
>>28623481
>>28623212
>>28623039
>>28623060
>>28623135
ANONYMOUS DOES NOT FUCKING RAID. WHEN YOU LEAVE /b/ YOU ARE NO LONGER ANONYMOUS.
ALL that raiding does is establish a link with the disgusting identity-saturated world that exists outside of 4chan.
A person doing, referencing, or talking about things that belong inside /b/ while outside is just an idiot. We are all fucking idiots here, but because we are ALL anonymous and ALL acting randomly we create something WONDERFUL, something that is not just a bunch of random crap but EVERYTHING, and because we have no identity here each and every one of us owns the ENTIRE sum of our efforts.
What you people are doing is NOT anonymous, you are no longer anonymous, you are "anonymous from /b/" you get an identity, you may call yourselves anon BUT YOU ARE NOT ANONYMOUS!
YOU DO NOT TAKE /b/ WITH YOU! The environment which transforms random acts into enlightenment is NOT THERE, you do nothing but make yourselves look stupid and POTENTIALLY THREATEN OUR FUTURE.
Many of you do not even understand what /b/ is. You have come here too late and where absorbed into this newbie raiding culture. At first it started small, but then my mom got scared. She sent me to live with my auntie and uncle in bel-air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near, its license plate said fresh and it had a dice in the mirror. That is more or less harmless. BUT YOU IDIOTS ARE RUINING IT. We should not have started, WE DID NOT KNOW IT WOULD HAVE TO KEEP GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER.
ALREADY THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS ARE BEING FELT! Look around you; it's now around seven or eight and we've dispatched the cabbie; finally, we have a chance to sit on our thrones as princes of bel-air. mock-fighting is now turning into real hostilities.
/b/ IS NOT AN INTERNET POWER, we are a STATE OF MlND. There is no /b/ army, there is no /b/-'anything', there is only /b/ and anonymous.
>>28623507
>>28623495
>>28623481
>>28623233
>>28623209
>>28623139
As we all know, smoking is really bad for your health. What a lot of people don't realize is that when you smoke, those few minutes of your expected lifespan are literally transformed into the ash you flick away into an ashtray. Ashtrays, each and every one of them, are constructed by a single group running several dozen front companies.
Basically, unless you're putting out your smokes beneath your heel or in the ashtray your kid made at camp, you're dispensing your ashen life into this group's eager little recepticle. Their ashtrays absorb the life force from the ashes and sends it to a central holding facility. No one knows for sure what these guys are going to do when they've collected all that life energy, but it's probably going to be huge.
Incidentally, there's talk of a rival organization leading the anti-smoking political agenda from behind the scenes. They probably figure removing smoking sections, and thus ashtrays, from restaurants and bars is a good first step towards thwarting whatever it is this ashtray company is trying to do.
>>28622895
Good luck opie
Hope I don't get v& for posting in this thread L.O.L. (Laughing Out Loud)
>>28623507
>>28623495
>>28623481
>>28622895
>>28623535
Calvin lay there in bed, next to his tiger. His fourteenth birthday was tomorrow. He was getting older, puberty striking at his mind, voice, and body. He kissed Hobbes on the cheek, puling him closer and thanking him for being his friend.
Then it happened. It had been happening often since he was thirteen and he had no control over it. His erection tented his boxers, pressing against his friend's rump.
"Stop.." Hobbes mumbled with a growl, pushing him away.
Calvin turned onto his back, pulling his under shorts down and revealing his standing pillar, about five inches. Average, he figured.
He shook Hobbes awake. He didn't wake easily and grumbled and growled, but eventually sat up. "What, Calvin?" He asked angrily, wanting very much to go back to sleep.
"I love you."
"I love you too.." Hobbes said awkwardly. 'What is this about?' He wondered.
"Do you really love me?"
"Yeah, why?" Hobbes sat up further, sleep forgotten.
"I want to mate with you.." Calvin blushed.
"Wait! What? You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
I whistled for a cab and when it came near the liscence plate said "fresh" and had dice in the mirror. If anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I though "nah, forget it, yo home to Bel Air"!
l pulled up to the house at about seven or eight, yelled to the cabbie, yo homes, smell you later. Looked at my kingdom, and I was finally there, to sit on my throne, as the Prince of Bel Air.
>>28622895
Why don't you just off yourself on stream, robot? So we can keep your memory forever
>>28623162
>>28623180
>>28623210
>>28623220
>>28623248
>>28623261
>>28623283
>>28623333
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>>28623376
>>28623406
>>28623430
>>28623451
>>28623479
>>28623509
fuck off
you should be the one lighting themselves on fire instead of OP
>>28623557
Post more of this one pls
>>28623567
>>28623039
>>28623060
>>28623123
>>28623157
>>28623535
>>28623580
Because JPEGs are more heavily compressed than other image formats, their information is more volatile and likely to expand at high speed through an unchecked buffer, poorly allocated resource or any other available system space. I'd guess you're probably losing image data through one of these means.
You see, when you load a JPEG into memory, the EXtra colour Information Format (EXIF) header is loaded into RAM in order to prepare the video prebuffer for the incoming high-speed flow of colour information from the uncorked JPEG. If your bus isn't ready for this information, the rapidly decompressing file information can flow through other parts of your system.
Ordinarily this isn't a problem: as a matter of fact, JPEG was designed for this sort of thing. Older computers couldn't handle the explosive power behind the fledgeling image decompression algorithm, so rather than fight it, image experts invented the Jampacked Picture Extraction and Gathering (JPEG) protocol. They cleverly decided to allow the image data to spray wherever it would, knowing that after the extraction phase would send raw data all over the inside of the computer, the gathering phase would locate it all and reassemble it into an image. With the advent of faster computers the delay between spray and collection is so small as to be unnoticeable, while newer and bigger video cards are more capable of withstanding the onslaught of colours.
Still, the primary weakness of this algorithm is the haphazard placement of decompressed data. There's just too much of it to channel through normal means, so any loss of data containment resuIts in corrupted images. In your case, it would appear that you're losing image data through the empty hole where your goddamned shift key should be.
>>28623567
Gonna off myself at a very crowded area. so no worries, you'll see it if you look it up.
It has been two months since I have found out about Cracky-chan's AIM sn. Don't ask me how I did that, some things are better left untold. Anyway, we got in contact, or rather: I contacted her and she responded. I tried to be all cool and hurrhurr-in-cheek with her (if you know what I mean) but of course she saw through my act from the start.
You can fool every other idiot on /b/ but you cannot fool Cracky-chan, especially not when face to face (or should I say: P2P?). I am sure in the few days that we were chatting for hours and hours she got a real good idea of who I really was.
So one day while I was babbling away, trying to make myself look like the best thing since sliced bread served with roast beef by talking about "those fucking furries" and "that one new program I installed recently", she interrupted me by saying: "Have you ever done anal?"
I was kinda put off and shocked at first. I am not going to tell you her real age but a young girl approaching me like that just shocked me for a second or two. Then I regained my cool and answered that yes, me and my ex-gf tried it once but she didn't like that so that had been the end of that. What came next had me baffled again: "Want to try again?"
me: try again? you mean you and me?
her: no, you and your mom
me: lol what
me: so you really mean you and me?
me: hello?
her: yes, you and me, dumbass
me: you're saying you'd let me do you up the ass?
her: more like you will let me do you up the ass
her: i already got the lube and the strap-on, you just gotta haul your ass over here
It's hard to make a decision when you're having a massive hard-on without knowing what to do with it at first. So I want to say that it wasn't really my decision when I packed my bit of shit together and hopped into the next train. I pretty much knew from the moment when I said "okay" (although I don't really remember that moment) that I was completely hers.
>>28623618
>>28623584
>>28623580
>>28623164
>>28623174
>>28623388
>>28623495
>>28623507
Trapped in a web of, yes, retarded internet lust. I'll be the first to admit it. But I am sure most of you would have done the same.
I've been living with her the last few weeks now. Sometimes we're sleeping in her bed together but most of the time she makes me sleep on the floor. The house itself is pretty big. Her parents aren't there. I don't know where they are and I have never asked about them. A lot of other people are coming and going, though. Some are staying for a few days, vanish and come again later. Some of them even post on /b/, but I won't disclose their identities. I wouldn't want to make myself unwelcome here. I want to stay close to Cracky-chan. I know she doesn't want me to get too close to her, but I don't care as long as she legs me follow her for a walk outside (the snow is so nice) and as long s I can spread my ass cheeks for her to invade me.
I feel happy. Some of you may think that I am a sad sod, that I am crazy for having let go of my appartment, my cheap job, my so-called friends. I am with Cracky-chan and that is all that matters to me. And when she holds me by the waist and furiously thrusts that big black one into my bowels, I simply cannot ask for anything more on earth.
>>28623580
>>28623584
>>28623618
>>28622895
>>28623139
Now this is the story all about how All life got flipped, turned upside down I'd like to take a minute for what it's worth I'll tell you how I became queen of the death and rebirth
In Nerv's lab born and raised Experiments are how I spent most of my days Being cloned, synchronizing, piloting, all cool And all taking a dip in Nerv's indoor pool
When a couple of Angels who were taller than a tree Started making trouble in Tokyo-dash-three I got in one little injury and Gendo got scared and said "We're gonna send Shinji Ikari out there!"
[Next verses are only on the full version, which was played only in the first three episodes of season one of "Shin Seki Fresh Queen of Death and Rebirth"]
We fought in many battles through many days But Shinji pussed out and he went off on his way He went to the train and he displayed his ticket He put his walkman on and said "I should have been hit!"
Then he comes back, yo what a fag! Just because of Misato, that stupid hag Is this what the second children ought to act like? Hmmm, this ain't quite right!
But wait, I hear the Seele, compilation and all that Is that the kind of end in store for this cool cat? I don't think so, nor does the third I hope they're prepared for the death and rebirth
Well, I was cloned again and when I came out There was dude looked like an Angel standing there with my name out I ain't the same as you, Kaworu, the fifth child So I knew that things were about to get wild
I whistled for Gendo and when he came near His hand was labeled "ADAM" and I pulled it in here I fused and grew huge, quite an increase in girth But I said "Aww forget it, time for death and rebirth!"
I pulled up to the lab around seven or eight And I yelled to the people "Yo homes, here is Rei!" But I took Shinji and sent him back to earth And so now I'm the queen of the death and rebirth
>>28622895
OP I really don't think you should do this, it'll be extremely painful and if you survive (yes you could survive) you'll look terrible and feel even worse
>>28623675
IT
WILL
BE
EXTREMELY
PAlNFUL
>>28623675
>>28623322
>>28623580
>>28622895
>>28622933
>>28622988
>>28623039
>>28623060
>>28623135
To begin, this is a tale of how my very existence was twisted and transformed in a most peculiar way. Please have a seat, for I wish to take a moment to relate to you the fascinating odyssey which ultimately led to my reign as the Prince of Bel-Air. I was sired and reared in West Philadelphia. As a lad, most of my time was spent at the neighborhood recreation center where I would laze about and relax in a most charming manner - that is, when I was not engaging my chums in a friendly game of basketball at the schoolhouse. Around this time, two young hooligans had begun to stage a campaign of vandalism and intimidation in my neighborhood. When my mother discovered I had had a bit of an altercation with the ruffians, she insisted I leave town at once and take up lodgings with my aunt and uncle in Bel-Air. As the taxi approached, heeding my beckoning whistle, I could discern the word "FRESH" emblazoned upon its license plate, and took particular note of the pair of plush novelty dice which hung from the rear-view mirror. I was a bit taken aback by these strange omens, but quickly put them out of my mind as I cheerfully called to the driver: "To Bel-Air, my good man!" We arrived safely in Bel-Air at dusk, and as the driver came to a stop in front of the house where I was to live, I left him with the words: "Farewell, sir. Perhaps my nostrils shall delight in your aroma once more!" To be sure, it was a long journey, and as I gazed upon my estate in all its splendor, I knew once and for all that my rightful place was on the throne - as the young scion of the great and mighty kingdom of Bel-Air!
>>28623675
uuuu
Original hsusbeh
>>28623722
YOU. FOR YOU. FOR YOUYOUYOUYOUYOU YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
Gerara here. Wuz your bizness man? YOU are an EP. Do you know what that means? You are an ENEMY of PROGRESS. What would happen if I remove that Original hsusbeh from your post? Would it be extremely unoriginal?
Why is some tripfag pasta pasting this thread exactly?
>>28623812
>>28623812
>>28623722
>>28623618
>>28623164
>>28623213
>>28622988
Mmmmmm... Fried pig pussy! Once you eat one of these pig pussy pork rinds, you'll never eat another.. human pussy again. But FUCK human pussy! I fuck dead pigs. You'll read all about it in heartburn how I fuck them dead pigs before I turn em into pork rinds!
I couldn't get no twat from serenity back then. She only wanted dildos in her pussy twat. Big phony bologna dicks. But now she wants this real cock. Come here serenity lets show these assholes how we fuck. Lets show these assholes how we fuck. My sweet sweet serenity.
Fuck an umbilical cord out of your phony asshole, and I'll hang a pig with it, while I impregnate you with my 80 year old pork rind dick. You'll give birth to a dead pig and we'll cut him into pork rinds.
All in pork rinds of god. In a land that speaks only with its eyes. No language, no dildos, no fucking laws! Where the whores can't sell their pussy. Or use their twats to gold dig. A land where us warriors run free with our big dicks out, and our fucking hair wild.
Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Salt their dead skin and put em in plastic bags. Fuck you, you fucking, farting robots. Suck my dead pig. Suck my dead pig!
>>28623812
>why is a tripfag being retarded
Gee I wonder
>>28623888
>>28623244
>>28623233
>>28623231
>>28623332
>>28623398
>>28623442
>>28623507
>>28623535
Here we go again, another fucking dickhead trying to tell me how to live my life. This babyfur_watch asshole on here, commenting on my LJ telling me that im making a big mistake by throwing away my college education just to, quote, "Roll around in crapped diapers and meddling in cheap and petty BDSM fetishes." Who the fuck do you think you are saying this shit, i swear to the fuckin heavens above if i knew where you were, i would come over, break my foot off in your ass and slice your damn throat. I have enough crap coming from my dad and grandmother about the way im living my life, so i dont need to hear it from some fucking scumbag like you. There are two things you do not fuck with when it comes to me, my friends and my lifestyle. You screw with either one of those things and you're gonna have one pissed off fox on your ass. Just becuase im a babyfur doesnt mean that i dont have a dark side, i will go medevil on you if you provoke me. I'm getting fuckin sick and tired of these fuckers thinking that since we're babyfurs that they can push us around and redicule us and not have us fight back. Most, if not all of us babyfurs get pissed off if an outsider decides to fuck with us. You may not like the fact that we are babyfurs, but you will fucking respect it, that's all we ask anyways. Everyone has their fetishes, and ours just happens to be wearing and using diapers, sucking on pacifiers and bottles, wearing baby clothes and acting like baby's. We aint hurtin no one by doing this, but there are some that are making it seem that way, which is complete and udder bullshit. As far as the BDSM stuff go, so what, i wanna be owned by someone and dommed by them, big deal. Keep your fucking comments to yourself if all they're gonna do is gonna piss off whoever your sending it to. Use common since you stupid pricks...oh wait, you dont have any! >>28623580
>>28623618
>>28623812
>>28623703
Alex, I hope you continue to suffer.
>>28624208
>>28622895
>>28622933
>>28623158
>>28623352
>>28623442
>>28623567
>>28623888
Attention 4chan!
I recently came upon 4chan when a friend recommended I visit the sites for a few laughs. I figured "What the hell? I could use some laughs." I must say that when I came on I was disgusted and not amused at all. Why you ask? Because everything on this entire site is literally shit! I mean yes there is funny pictures posted every now and then. But honestly; Do any of you little shits have a life? I mean are you so immature and unintelligant that you find things like cartoon porn and random naked UNDERAGE children funny?
GROW UP! Grow up 4chan. You all seriously need a reality check, You could be doing so many things in the day, yet you all choose to sit around on your fucking fat ugly asses and post pictures and then make sarcastic or idiotic comments like "tits or gtfo" "o rly?" and "Manchester united!".
Get off your fat asses and do something better with your life. I mean all of you obviously have no life or a social life either for that matter. Why? Because your so immature and your the very reason why Mother's go through Depression during pregnancy; and the supposed "girls" that come on here and converse with you are just as much losers are you, they are either fatter then fatty-tan or a term you'd better understand as "A trap".
Well I've put in my two cents, and on a last note, I hope you all one day realize just how much of a loser you are, and honestly kill yourself. I could care less if every single one of you got testicular cancer including the girls and then died naked fat and ugly with a pile of shit and pee oozing from your bowels that excavated due to your death. Grow up Assholes!
>tfw leave the thread open just for the (You)s
Godspeed Singaporean anon
>>28622895
Stay golden my """Canadian""" brother.
Fight the evil of this world.
I will remember you.
Donatello please don't reply to me
It hurts to check the box saying "I'm not a robot" while posting during times like this.
I'll think about you, man.
Stay strong and live the life you should.
I wish I was as brave as you..
>>28622895
where u senpai
toa payoh
o
a
p
a
y
o
h
>>28624936
Pls not redhill
>>28624978
its raining like fuck over here tho
(made this gif to illustrate)
(gif was made yesterday, today isnt as rainy)
>>28623277
>>28623233
Don't just set yourself on fire, set something on fire that would hurt the government that is oppressing you.
>>28622895
Mean while
The World shall burn, and from her ashes spring
New Heav'n and Earth, wherein the just shall dwell
And after all thir tribulations long
See golden days, fruitful of golden deeds,
With Joy and Love triumphing, and fair Truth.
Then thou thy regal Scepter shalt lay by,
For regal Scepter then no more shall need,
God shall be All in All.
>>28622895
goodluck, asean bro.
your name will be memed forever in kaskus and /int/, you shall be immortal.
>>28625027
How much you wanna bet this edge Lord ain't gonna do shit
>>28625193
a bowl of fishball noodles. there's this coffee shop near my house with kickass fishball noodles. that and some fried chicken from the pasar malam near my place right now
>>28625238
Guess we'll see when the news comes on nignog
Wait, did he do it? Is he actually dead by now?
>>28625253
yep. OP is well done steak now
>>28625253
>>28625267
If he actually went through it, he's probably in bad condition laying on a hospital bed. Burning to death is literally one of the worst ways to go. His courage will be gone the instant he touches a small flame.
HURRY THE FUCK UP I GOTTA GO TO WORK
omg r u gonna b ok?
>I turn 20 in April
Fake video, it was clearly recorded at least months ago if not years.
is he on the news already ?
Not gonna let this thread die, even if it is bait
OP pls update
Waiting for news
>>28622895
holy shit where are you going to orchid?
Don't do it, man. This is crazy.
>>28626470
I believe that sometimes to get change or to get people to take notice of a problem drastic means unfortunately have to be taken. I hope OP achieves the change he craves and minimal suffering while doing it. It's sad but this is the world we live in.
>>28626511
meh, I dont think our shit government will change for this. the current generation is too subdued by the ideology of the government, and the previous generation (our parents) grew up in an age where the current ruling party (PAP) ran everything, and being uneducated as they were, they did not consider the politics behind the politicians. There were dictatorship-esqe measures taken by the government, like a law that lets the government simply abduct and jail someone for being "a threat to national security"
naturally, that meant their political rivals.
censorship is heavy.
the new president making a loss of 42 billion SGD of the country's funds did not make it into the local news at all.
http://johnharding.com/2011/12/singapore-president-tony-tan-lost-nearly-42-billion-dollars-of-singapores-soverign-wealth/
Singapore is pretty much a slightly milder version of China.
the government looms above our heads with lethal force, striking down anyone who dares to oppose them.
and the people? the people are simply too unaware or too scared to lift a finger in the opposite direction.
its certainly sad to say this, but I think OP's death will be a waste. people will just think he's another weirdo. in fact, i bet if it happens, it might be censored from national television, and to a certain extent, the web.
we, as singaporeans, have no choice but to look from an outsider's point of view to see our country for what it is.
>>28626708
This makes me feel very grateful that I live in a country with a fair political system. I wish you and OP good luck in your struggles.
Holy FUCK I hate tripfags
All luck to OP
You are the true mvp
>>28626747
thanks nigger
I think I'll follow the weeaboo meme and try japan. even though japanese politics is unstable as fuck, they have technology.
having learnt japanese helps.
>>28626708
I really hope your struggle gets noticed and that it leads to real change so you don't have to live with such government for too long. Best of wishes and good luck to you all.
>>28622895
for what its worth, don't do it. if life's that depressing, think of it like a really shitty roller coaster. you're perspective and feelings will change drastically over your life, that's just a fact, and ending the ride early to prove a point is about the only way to guarantee the shittiest net result.
>>28622895
>Canadian flag
>Is a chink
The memes are real
>>28626881
what gets to me is that our shit government banned chewing gum
yes, you read right, BANNED CHEWING GUM
buncha sick bastards
>>28627023
asian families have this habit of moving overseas, be it to the US or Canada for either job opportunities or what they perceive as a "better education"
>>28622895
>>28623060
>>28623135
>>28623204
>>28623233
Please PLEASE blame everything on feminism, this feminazi madness needs to stop.
Also blame it on black privilege and stuff.
Blame it on Five-Eyes and shit like that, we need our privacy!
If you're going to do it make sure your statement comes off strong! INDIVIDUALISM
You're the hero we need, but not the hero we deserve. I will watch the news, good luck.
Officially witnessed. Godspeed, brother. Hope the next world treats you kindly.
>>28627054
That's fucked up senpai. I hope I could help you fix that shit.
>>28627088
Officially witnessed?
>>28627587
OfficiaIIy witnessed!
I am psoting in here.
Witness my participation.
>>28625855
reposting this, while scouring singapore's interwebs for news
witnessed god speed brother
Officially witnessed!!!!
origano
>>28628784
>>28628741
>>28627641
>>28627610
>>28627587
what is this shit witnessing meme
what? are you really going to use his death as novelty on your part?
Hi op, I'm in sg too. Where are you planning to do this? I would like to witness.
He hasn't done it and he's not going to do it.
OP NEVER FUCKING DELIVERS GUYS. It's the one rule of the universe.
Rush hour is long gone. Wherever he does it, not many people are gonna be around so he's not gonna make some huge blazing statement.
You're all fucking idiots to think that this is in any way a good political catalyst. Struggling my ass, you all have a comfortable bed to sleep in at night and have access to food and water. Fucking 1st world priveleged millenials. The world is better off without you.
>>28622895
>stuttering beta sperg
nice to see you go famalam
>>28629135
if there's one thing I can trust, it's the singapore govt's skill and speed in censorship
>>28628932
this
see this
>>28629135
>>28623162
>>28623180
>>28623210
>>28623220
>>28623248
>>28623261
>>28623283
>>28623333
>>28623351
>>28623376
>>28623406
>>28623430
>>28623451
>>28623479
>>28623509
>>28623524
>>28623557
>>28623602
>>28623619
>>28623637
>>28623662
>>28623685
>>28623703
>>28623743
>>28623873
>>28623951
>>28624313
to the filter he goes
if you dont give the fag any attention, he'll probably go away
>>28622895
Let's do it
/le originalo/
holy shit did OP deliver?
>>28630011
We have to wait for news, or if video and account disappears for no good reason OP probably delivered.
>>28622895
appropriate picture/book
Put me in the screencap :^)Or1g1nal
I wanna be in the screencap too.
What's with the tripfaggot trying so hard to get attention ITT?
Typical tripfag shit, I guess...
>>28623162
>>28623180
>>28623210
>>28623220
>>28623248
>>28623261
>>28623283
>>28623333
>>28623351
>>28623376
>>28623406
>>28623430
>>28623451
>>28623479
>>28623509
>>28623524
>>28623557
>>28623602
>>28623619
>>28623637
>>28623662
>>28623703
>>28623743
>>28623873
>>28623951
>>28624313
I laughed. Then I copied all of these for future use. All 7,205 words.
>>28630476
just filter them all out dude
I'm in Singapore OP. Tell us the location and to other singfags too, we wanna watch.
>>28622895
It's not worth it man. One death isn't going to change anything so you might as well live.
>>28622895
>born in singapore canadian
>hates Singapore
I don't even need to watch the whole thing to guess it's about the army.
Holy shit it's not fucking tough man. If you hate it so much, just go and fucking keng or some shit.
And I have known many people like you, and they don't complain as much as you.
Serve and fuck off.
>>28630924
>>28630980
>>28631042
You three realize that it is a 10 hour old thread and it is about 9,5 hours since we last heard form him? OP have probably already gone through with it, has been arrested or decided not to do it (if latter probably won't come here and say so).
>>28623135
>swaghat
Yeah, just kill yourself
Holy shit he actually did it, check the local news
>>28631440
Can't find shit on cna whatchu talkin bout
>>28631440
sauce or b8
>>28631440
aint seeing shit, nigger, provide source
>>28631440
talk shit get hit desu
