Well, I need to get this off my chest
>be me
>sophomore in college
>have same roommate from last year because he was tolerable
>roommate and I go to my female friend's house to drink since dry campus
>me being gay so no romantic interest, he fucking is obssesd with her
>she has bf, lives with her
>i kek at him
>he gets a six pack of mike's hard black cherry lemonade
>lightweight.jpeg
>I get handle of jack and 2L of coke
>be at her house for about two hours
>I'm getting a good buzz
>he's almost trashed off of three lemonades
>Jesus fuck, man....
>have to leave party at about midnight because roommate is spilling shit all over
>apologize to friend, leave
>get back to dorm
>our dorm was split into two rooms. One is living space with tv and futon ect. Other room is beds, dressers, walk in vanity room with sink and small closet
>I sit on futon in living area and drink some more from 2l i poured jack in
>he goes into sleeping room
>hear him get into bed because beds are covered with plastic zip up case and he never remakes his fitted sheet when it comes off
>just a fucking human pig person in general, real slob
>be about 1:30 am
>hear him get out of bed and liquid spills on floor
>areyoukiddingme.mp3
>he opens door and is covered in black cherry red vomit
>"Anon, I threw up."
>"obviously you retard"
>wait.... where did he throw up?
>go into room
>smells so fucking bad
>he threw up all over my closet door
>opened up the door
>and threw up more all over my shit
>jeans on hooks fucked
>fresh clean clothes folded in basket fucked
>folded blankets and heavy coats fucked
>everything covered in red vomit
>i try to keep my cool, shit happens
>"Anon, I'm going to go shower then we can clean this up."
>okay, makes sense. don't want to track vomit even more places
>he comes back from shower
>"uhm... let's just leave this and clean it up in the morning"
>u wut m8?
>"no, we need to clean this or else it'll get hard and stain everything."
>wtf man
cont?
>>28621242
Go on, vomitfag, I'm interested in your vomit story.
>>28621242
This will either end in OP sexing him or murdering him.
Bump! OP, you should have typed this all up beforehand.
>>28621288
>He goes to bed, passed out
>can't wake him up
>wellfuck.jpg
>Get my only clean towel and spray cologne in my nose due to smell
>start cleaning floor, walls, door, and dresser
>he walked in his own stomach shit and tracked it everywhere
>spend few hours on first wave of cleaning
>I'm drunk, don't want to deal with this
>go start doing laundry
>end up spending $8 in quarters doing laundry
>continue cleaning while laundry is getting done
>stay up till about 7am cleaning everything
>lost buzz by now, so fucking pissed
>he wakes up around 1 pm as per usual
>me "We need to go to store and get pine sol and mop. you're paying for it"
>him "okaay"
>get mop and shit
>"Okay, now mop the floor five times. let it dry ten minutes in between and maybe we can get rid of smell"
>"I don't know how to do that"
>>28621433
>I keep my cool again and show him
>what kind of inbreed mamas boy are you?
>literally doesn't clean anything of his
>left a fast food cup under his bed for so long it degraded and left sticky soda all over the floor
>He comes back from mopping
>"Okay i'm done anon. I'm going home for the weekend"
>"k. so long as it's done"
>he leaves really quick
>suspicious
>I go into room and the bucket hadn't even been filled with water
>he just mopped the floor with soap
>it dried and it's sticky every where
>long story short i mopped everything
>He never said sorry, thanks for cleaning my filth or payed me back for the quarters
>not to mention he's changed his major three times in the last year and has the Susan Buffet Scholarship which is pretty much a free ride
>he flunks out of school and losses scholarship
>I kek at his mistake of a life on a reagular
>>28621555
One of my roommates pulled some similar shit on me, thankfully he got to the bathroom in time. He was still incapable of cleaning it up properly himself. God I can't stand people who somehow manage to make a mess out of everything they touch.
>>28621760
Feels man. He stayed up late too. Always till about 4am and would narrate as he played vidya like he was on youtube or some shit. Never went to class. Made him cry when i told him I didn't want to live with him next year. I loved every sweet tear
I fucking hate people like that. I wake up at like 3pm as a NEET and general life failure but at least I keep everything nice and tidy.
