>started to carry a hammer wherever I go
Dunno why
if some one asks just blame niggers
>qt3.14 asks someone what time it is
>pull out your hammer
"It-it's hammertime :)"
Works every time.
>>28617656
Great, now all you need is a nice jacket and car and you're set.
>>28617656
how do you carry it OP?
>>28617869
Concealed in a brown leather jacket
>>28617656
ive started to put nails halfway into things where ever i go
someday our paths will cross
someday the ultimate showdown will happen
You're never alone when you have a hammer.
>>28617656
Dude. That's pretty epic.
>>28617783
Don't forget the gloves
In high school this girl would give me hammers that she stole from shop class and I would carry them in my backpack. I think I got about four.
>>28618206
dude.
i think she might like you.
who the hell just gives you hammers...
>>28617656
Here's a little cringe story for you. When I was 19 and I was going to community college, for 2 months I wore a shoulder holster around campus (rationalized it 50 different ways but really I thought it made me look cool) until one day.
>Going to class
>No one talks to me anyway so nobody made me aware of how strange I looked
>City cops patrol because the campus is too small
>Some big grizzled 40 year old cop stops me
>"Whoah! Woah, what you got there son?"
>"What?"
>Never really had an encounter with a cop at all (good or positive) so I was pretty nervous
>Points to my holster
>My empty holster
>"What's with the gun holster?"
>Start involuntarily shaking
>Cop gets suspicious as I can't really come up with a reason (state with extremely restrictive gun laws, average joe basically can't own pistols)
>"I, uh, I don't know?"
>He could basically tell I was a sperg as I was too autistic to either be in a line of work that needed a gun or alpha enough to own one illegally
>"You don't know why you have a gun holster on?"
>Takes off his shades
>Basically starts talking to me like a child (still was and am one mentally t-b-h)
>"N-no...sir."
>"Can I see your firearm ID card?"
>"I don't ha-have one."
>"Do you own a firearm?"
>"No sir."
>"So you own and wear a gun holster without owning a firearm?"
>Could feel the shame on my face
>"I...I don't..."
>He pinches the bridge of his nose.
>"Just...just go."
>He points away from him, not even looking up
>I walk away, and when out of sight, take off the holster and put it in my bag
>When I get home I toss it in the trash
The lesson: Blend in with the normies. Less problems that way.
>>28618818
Ouch. That's pretty bad anon
>>28618818
Shit anon, the things I look back to and cringe about are nothing compared to this. You are one crazy dude.
>>28618818
Ateast the cop was kind enough to let you go.
Good story tho
>>28618818
>I wore a shoulder holster around campus (rationalized it 50 different ways but really I thought it made me look cool)
Oh my. Autisim amber alert.
>>28618818
>caring what the cop thinks
butt-dildo and high-impact weapon all in one compact piece
>>28618567
hammers that they shoved up their butt
>>28618818
You should have put a hammer in there
>>28618818
>not managing to say that it felt comfy and helped realign your shoulders or something pseudo-medical
>>28618818
woah slow down there nathan drake
>>28618173
And toothpicks.
>>28618981
He's obviously not quick witted anon.
>>28618981
Honestly those were two of my rationalizations and those actually went through my head but by the point that I thought of them I just wanted to get out of that situation. Besides, the holster was clearly defined, so I couldn't deny it was a holster in lieu of some medical device.
>>28619002
I actually started wearing it because of Uncharted 2, as loathe as I am to admit it.
>>28617656
>started to carry a hammer wherever I go
>Dunno why
It's because you're borderline retarded,
>>28618818
Jesus that's embarrassing.
>started carrying box cutter in back pocket
i just use it to cut up boxes i promise
>>28618818
the real cringe is letting some faggot normie get off on talking down to you when you've done nothing wrong
good job losing the autist-wear tho
>>28618818
here's another (you)
you're a bit retarded anon, sorry buddy
>>28618980
>You should have put a hammer in there
>>28618818
Jesus Christ, this really reminded me of the greentext threads back in 07
Fuck, that was a great time to be on 4chan
>>28619070
>You've done nothing wrong
>"autist-wear"
That's basically a crime to normies, being or acting autistic anywhere in their view. Also pretty hypocritical famalam.
>>28619023
>I actually started wearing it because of Uncharted 2, as loathe as I am to admit it.
Oh anon. Smh.
>>28617656
Similar here. I am living alone and scared of a home invasion (don't want niggers to steal my PC and flatscreen) but I am way too much of a suicide risk to own a gun without eventually getting drunk and blowing my own brains out. I am thinking of buying a hatchet, a can of pepper spray and some swim goggles or something. Pretty sure killing myself with that stuff would be too painful to be worth it and it'd be super easy to hack apart a home invader after getting them with pepper spray.
I am super weak tho so I am a little worried they'd just powernig thu the pepper spray and rip it and the hatchet out of my hands and start using it on me in nig-rage though. I was going to post on /k/ asking for advice but I figured they'd just make fun of me for not being able to handle owning a gun.
>>28619146
/k/'s not really the place for anything non-gun-related. I suggest /asp/, /r9k/, or even /b/ for better advice on something like that.
>>28619146
rent a gun a few times, then play with one at home without bullets in it.
They're really fucking boring when you're at home, other than cleaning it. You're not going to blow your brains out.
I'm not sure what I meant to say with that, but I own a few guns and have for a few years without killing myself.
>>28619050
>started keeping a screw driver in passenger seat
>it's for screwing on license plates i promise
>plates i stole so i can do gas and go drive offs
>very lots of unpaid parking tickets from years
>lose license, insurance, surrender plates
>oh hey i still got these free plates i can use
>go to grocery store for 12 pack of dizzying potions
>patrolling officer stopped in the lot next to my car
>nervously contemplate the situation for few minutes
>other cops arrive and position to ambush me
>walk into like a dumb idiot what else can i do
>lie about stealing plates, i'm a white guy
>no "possession of stolen property" just moar ticket
>ok i'll jus take my potion and screw driver then
>oh wait i had a warrant for that shoplifting thing
>"put down the screw driver or we will fire"
>"but it's my dad's trusty screwdriver i cant loose it"
>mommy pays $500 bail and say remember court date
>donest $200 to library for community service and it go away
>>28619172
I meant to say /adv/, but /asp/ is also a good place if you're in the market for learning self-defense.
>>28619216
>implying /asp/ergers will teach you anything
roflmao
/k/ and /out/ is all you need nigguh
>>28619194
Fucking gun retards. Terrific advice to give a suicidal sperg.
>>28617656
I've got a mild steel ram's head like this one, the size of a small apple on the end of a short bar, made it myself, mine has an angry face.
I also carry it in a brown leather jacket.
>>28619213
lol, you're life is pathetic. How did you become such a loser?
>>28619298
Wait, you carry around a crow bar with a ram's head on it?
Where exactly do your poor hillbillies live where your lives and possessions are in imminent danger?
>>28619289
I was pretty suicidal and a heavy drinker when I bought my gun, but that's besides the point. Suicide is a human right. If he's unhappy, he is welcome to leave anytime. The only reason you want him around is to make yourself feel better.
Don't want him to kill himself? Meet his demands.
>>28619194
Yeah no, if I had immediate painless death laying around I would definitely be dead by now. Heck, I'd be dead if I lived near a high bridge or had easy access to a high enough rooftop. I'm getting better but I still don't want to take risks like owning a firearm. I've even deliberately avoided buying a chef's knife because I'm worried I'd stab myself with it (you're only conscious for 10 seconds or so if you stab yourself in the heart). I chop all my vegetables up with steak knives even though i am way more likely to accidentally slice up my fingers that way.
>>28619353
>I am way too much of a suicide risk to own a gun without eventually getting drunk and blowing my own brains out
He saqid it himself:
>I am way too much of a suicide risk to own a gun without eventually getting drunk and blowing my own brains out
fucking gun retards. baka.
>>28619308
i did nothin but steal and beg my whole life no body ever give me nothin so i gotta take it
i can do a little magic too if i feel lik it
>>28619353
>I was pretty suicidal and a heavy drinker when I bought my gun
This is why we pay lots and lots of money to live nowhere near these fucking morons.
>>28619383
get a job deadbeat.
>>28619351
English West Midlands, just south of Birmingham.
The local Yemeni boys jumped me six to two outside my old primary school the Christmas before last, I bit one of them on the face, but I'd been careless and left my flick knife at home so they beat my arse.
I've been wanting an opportunity since to show them my handiwork in detail.
>>28619498
Sorry, I don't speak nog.
>>28618818
>can't own handgun
>firearm ID
What state do you live in? Some shitty european country I bet.
>>28619527
It's ok, I speak bong.
Translation:
North Carolina, just south of Charlotte.
Local mudslimes jumped me. Had me outnumbered 6 to 2 in front of my old elementary school a year and a half ago. I bit one of 'em in the face but forgot my pocket knife at home so they beat me up.
I'm gonna find 'em and fuck 'em up.
>>28618818
>not keeping a pack of gum in there
>not being smug as fuck whenever anyone asks about it as if wearing a gum holster was the most normal thing in the world
You need to understand that there is never, EVER any reason for you to feel uncomfortable, anon. You're already an outsider, your presence alone gives you a lot more power over normal people than you realize, they're easily flustered by outliers
>>28619593
New Jersey's still a part of the United States if I'm not mistaken. Technically you can own a pistol with a Firearm ID card and an approved handgun permit, but they rarely give those out to anyone not police or in the security industry since you need to provide a "valid reason for ownership".
>>28619621
>Gum holster
I'm gonna have to remember that one. Honestly think that encounter would've gone a lot better if I had defused it with that. Maybe even help in the way of making a few friends. Like a conversation starter.
>>28619655
Move to Vermont, they have the best firearms laws in the country.
>>28619705
Such social grace, and somehow still an anime fan. You're really breaking the mold anon.
>>28619711
Bernie go away
>>28619711
Instead just carry a hunting rifle around, that should start some conversations and is usually much easier to achieve
>>28619729
>Come to /r9k/
>Expect anything other than what you have already encountered
I carry a tube sock with a brick in it under dangerous situations. Fucking dare someone to engage me in combat.
>>28617656
Describe your life, OP.
pls orginallllllity
>>28619621
This tbqh
Once you realize that nothing you do is going to make people think you're less weird, it's almost liberating. You can look however you want, do whatever you want. I went from being an athlete on my college track team who watched what I ate and tried to dress well to being a bearded, long-nailed, fat shut-in who just wears baggy sweatshirts, and it was the best decision I ever made,even though I constantly dream of death's sweet embrace.
>>28619194
>rent a gun
Do they have blockbusters for guns in burgerland?
>>28619146
I bought a 12 gauge shotgun when I was 19. I used to load/unload it for hours in my garage while drinking as much as possible. Sold it after like a month because i definitely would have blown my head apart with it. I didn't want my mom to lose her best son.
>>28622235
You can go to pretty much any shooting range and pick out a gun and shoot as many rounds as you can afford through it. 9mm ammo is like 16 bucks for a box of 50.
>>28622235
yeah you can go out and shoot somebody, as long as you don't return it overdue the fees are always cheap
>>28617743
more like stammertime
amirite
>>28619621
This is a good post. Gum holster is a great idea and you are correct about not giving a fuck. I love you, anon.
