Breakfast gf
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
"Anon I made us some eggs. We need to get our energy levels up after last nights love making session. Teehee"
>yfw she makes eggs with enough energy to power your trainset
you don't have to tell me what happened but you do HAVE TO eat all of these eggs
>scrambled eggs with a single slice of cheddar barely melted on top
>didn't put eggs back in the fridge or clean up dishes
I'm not in love with you any more.
Please leave now.Captcha: Select all images with eggs.
>>28576775
>i know how to take care of my man xD
>picture of a basic as fuck omelette or an overcooked slab of meat with some half-cooked broccoli on the side
>130,000 likes
Don't you feel shame anymore? How can you type that and think, 'yeah, this is right, I've got a good feeling pretending to be a rando in some phone-capped mobile browser.' Take a lap
>Day 16
>it's been just over two weeks and I still can't believe I managed to land a cute gf
>she's adorable and thoughtful and kind, and most of all loves to cook
>in fact, the morning after we first made love she made me breakfast in bed
>she's even made me breakfast every day since then
>actually, now that I think about it, we haven't done much besides have sex and eat breakfast
>oh well, who am I to be judging someone else, it's not like I thought I'd ever have a gf anyway
>Day 27
>still can't believe I have a gf, let alone that I've managed to keep her toys long
>we still have lots of sex, and she still insists on making breakfast every morning
>it's funny, she's even started making breakfast foods for dinner
>I'm not gonna protest since it beats top ramen and hot pockets
>still, I'm getting kinda sick of eggs
>day 48
>I think we've hit our first rough patch in the relationship
>the other night I suggested that instead of breakfast for dinner, we order a pizza instead
>she laughed it off, but when I told her I was serious, and wanted pizza, she got wild eyed and grabbed a whisk off the counter
>she said that if I don't appreciate her cooking than maybe I need a good beating instead of the eggs
>I laughed and relented because it was ridiculous but she also scared me a little bit
>we had scrambled eggs
>>28576953
I appreciate these breakfast gf greentexts.
>day 55
>the fighting since last week has only gotten worse
>we don't even have any food in the house besides bacon, pancake mix, and eggs
>today I offered to go to the grocery store and get some things, but she forbid me from leaving
>that of course spawned another argument, which didn't end until I promised her that I'd let her make Mickey Mouse pancakes for dinner
>I don't even like pancakes that much
>day 236
>she's been force-feeding me estrogen and using the eggs to mask the taste
>day 69
>heh, what an appropriate date for this entry
>so my gf's mood really turned around today
>almost out of the blue she was quiet and apologetic and more importantly down to have sex again
>I think I can stomach her weird diet a little easier when I'm burning off the calories in the bedroom
>the only catch was she wanted to get a little kinky and spice things up
>I've never heard of people using maple syrup during sex before though
>day 77
>the weird sex continues
>last night she wanted to try being a little dominant and broke out a pair of handcuffs and blindfold
>(I didn't even know they made bacon theme handcuffs but I guess that's the reddit demographic for you)
>it was really hot until she asked me to open my mouth for a surprise
>I thought it was going to be face sitting (hell yeah)
>but I think she bought a strap on too (hell no)
>I asked her to warn me next time but she just laughed and told me to be thankful it was up top and not from behind
>it was weird to because it tasted kinda like breakfast sausage
>>28576704
You call those eggs?
>>28576704
You are an egg
Like some stupid roastie can cook better eggs than me
>>28576810
Got you brotha
Wife material thread?
>day 84
>I feel dirty
>she made good on her joke from last week
>we were doing some BDSM play again when she stuck it in my, well, you know
>I yelled for her to stop but all she said in response was "oh yeah, how's that taste!?" as she rammed it in over and over again
>worse still, after she was done she refused to take off the handcuffs until I agreed to eat breakfast with her
>it was 3 in the morning
>I think I want to break up
>>28576704
morning tiger *cat noises*
>Day 90
>oh god please help me
>I tried to break up with her last night
>I thought she would be upset but she took it calmly and said she understood
>all she asked was that we share one more breakfast together
>I should've known she'd spike the orange juice
>when I came to I found myself handcuffed in the basement
>now all I have to write with is bacon grease on the napkins from the meals she brings me
>even then it's a struggle to write when I'm so restrained
>why is this happening to me
>I should've been a wizard instead
>>28577215
What the shit is this? Puke and two eggs?
>>28577294
these are wonderful, based anon
lmao over here
>day 94
>I'm losing myself
>she's started to come down here and force feed me drugged food
>I don't know what's in but every time I lose control and she takes advantage of me
>she makes me "taste her sausage" or "savor her eggs"
>the worst was when she took strips of bacon hot off the pan and laid them across me
>I couldn't do anything while she masturbated to the sound of my skin sizzling
>the sick cunt even called me her "little piggy"
>maybe I'm sick too though
>because part of me enjoyed it
>>28576851
>>28576895
>>28576953
>>28577014
>>28577070
>>28577157
>>28577221
>>28577294
Really appreciated those breakfast gf greentexts.
10/10.
This is rare nowadays,. If you find a woman like this, never let her go.
>>28577215
that's it
thanks jezz
>Day 135
>breakfast is the most important meal of the day
>but it's not enough to just have a bowl of cereal
>breakfast should consist of a variety of foods
>the main course should be protein, like mistress's bacon or a bowl of eggs
>you have to eat all of them
>a growing boy needs his nourishment after all
>there should also be some sort of fruit
>oranges and melons eaten right off mistresses's own two will do just the trick
>speaking of, don't forget the dairy, a glass of fresh milk is perfect
>misstress's is even organic
>finally a side of toast brings it all together
>misstress apparently makes her own from scratch, even the yeast
>if you've been extra good you can even get a cinnamon roll and frost it yourself
>>28577485
Got more, son
It hurts to keep on my computer
>Day
>WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY
>WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY
>WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY
>WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY
>WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY
>WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY
>>28577575
Screenshotting the fuck out of this, gimme some time
>>28577302
Don't even ask me brotha, I have no idea
>>28577570
Keep going pls anon.this is not copypizza but original comment
>>28577666
I haven't got much but the shit I do have...wew
>>28577302
you have no idea how hard i kekd just now
>>28577666
>>28577711
Also
>anonSKKKREEEAAAAAA
>>28577586
C'mon this is satire.
It is, isn't it?
>>28577742
>tfw someone enjoyed your post
Best (You) this week. Thanks.
>>28577799
I fucking wish, anon. Some people are stupid as fuck.
>>28577586
MY SIDES are have left the stratosphere.
>>28577743
The king should make some heads roll for this outrage.
>>28577575
Anyway, here's your screenshot anon. Take your shitty prize and leave. Any improvements, lemme know.
>>28577834
Really wtf is that? Why would you post that?
Btw: My grandfather tried to cook raw pasta by heating it in a frying pan once. I believe he might have cooked less than ten times in his life.
>>28577862
Can't wait to upload this to r/4chan for all le upvotes :^)looks good dude, thanks
>>28577902
I don't even fucking know.
Last one I got. Alright, closing time. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
>>28577902
>Why would you post that?
"You" meaning in the person who uploaded it to whatever social medium. Just to clarify.
>>28577917
>saves best for last
Nice.
>>28577944
I do all I can for my fellow robots
>>28577902
The fuck would anyone think that not using water would cook pasta? I mean, I'm no chef or anythin, but I think some people are just not meant to sustain themselves.
>>28576851
>>28576895
>>28576953
>>28577014
>>28577020
>>28577157
>>28577221
>>28577294
>>28577361
>>28577501
anon you truly are a magnificent fellow
>>28576704
>tfw like cooking but I'm a vegetarian so they wouldn't like anything I cook
I guess I can make pancakes or something. I don't know how to cook eggs because I don't eat them.
>>28577978
I think he really honestly never had to bother what women did in the kitchen and was genuinely not interested in it. He was one of those guys from that time.
And maybe it also was a bit because he was angry about my grandmother not having dinner ready so he fucked up on purpose and had her clean up after him. But that's speculation.
>>28578029
>I don't know how to cook eggs
>put eggs in boiling water
>wait 5-8mins
>take eggs out of boiling water
>chill eggs under running cold water (optional)
It ain't magic.
>>28578040
kek, your grandfather sounds pretty awesome
>>28578029
>crack eggs into bowl
>whisk until yolk/white are one
>drop in some salt, pepper and a bit of milk or butter
>drop egg-mix into hot pan
>move it around so it doesn't burn and stick to the pan
>wait until solid
>eat
>>28578029
Non vegetarians normally like vegetarian food unless you're a shit cook. It's not like omnivores won't eat vegetables and stuff out of some retarded ethical choice.
>>28578117
I like it still a bit soft, it tastes fluffier that way. restaurants do scrambled eggs way too hard
>>28578112
Nah, he was rather boring most of the time.
He just had his moments.
>>28578120
Cool. I've always been afraid that I'll meet someone that's a big foodie or something and my diet will be a big turn off for them. Even though I know that's dumb realistically. I'd like to think myself a decent cook, I use a lot of spices, herbs, butter, olive oil and cheese in my cooking which makes everything taste good.
>>28578200
add sweet potatoes to everything. that stuffs almost as good as meat in a dish
