Right now there are a bunch of teenagers outside my house playing in the street riding bikes and having fun. Seeing them made me realize just how much I missed out on in my life, it's like I have never even lived. This is probably an ordinary night for them, just hanging out outdoors on the weekend, and yet I never experienced a single night like that. I never had any friends to play with, I never had a girlfriend, I never got to experience my youth
I just made this thread to vent some of my pent up emotions.
My childhood was like that up until age 12, after that it all went to shit.
this is why you're supposed to never leave your room and keep your window blinds closed
Am I literally the only one that finds peace and happiness alone? What the hell did you even miss out on? being around a few other people manipulating a piece of wood on which you stand? I find more value in Wikipedia and anonymous chatlines than being around a group of idiots with nothing else to do, similar to your situation just different context.
You must be just as stupid as them.
>>28569850
>calling me stupid because I wanted to have friends and experience social interaction growing up
>>28570337
never underestimate the mental gymnastics bitter betas will go through to deem them your superior
>tfw all those years taken by depression
I keep hoping I die in my sleep, but it's not happening, I'm here to suffer
>>28569850
Who cares if they're stupid? They're happy in a way I never get to be. That's reason aplenty for me to envy them.
>>28569850
I wish I was stupid like them. I don't like being paranoid on if anyone is actually my friend or if they are just talking to me because I'm there. I want to feel like I'm actually loved by my family and not just invited and communicated with due to routine and the fact I'm related.
I would rather be a retard making 30k a year and struggling to get by financially but surrounded by people I atleast thought were friends and having plenty of relationships than the autist making 120k a year that has no friends, no relationships, and whose only form of communication is when they call up their mom every 2 months to check in on the same bullshit.
>see so many normies having fun on a saturday night at work
>fuck up at work anyway
don't really feel like living at the moment desu
>get job after 2 years of just
>money is never enough anyway
>old habits still fucking me over with second attempt at uni
>still alone, assignments all late, never go to class, only time I feel remotely comfortable on campus is when it's at night time
>don't know a single person
>normie stacey asking me why I don't smile at work
>I wonder why
>actually did make genuine smiles but only because some fucking maymay popped up in my head
>hiding all the fuckups from my family
>moments of levity from shitposting is all the solace I have in my life
there's nothing good in my future all I can see is hanging on for no particular reason other than a chance of a slightly better job and slightly less less money.
>>28571010
>levity
thanks for the new word. describes how i act in a lot of situations perfectly
>>28569024
>work retail
>summer in a tourist town
>see all these attractive women that I cant touch, I will never touch, they hate me and see me as trash, an object or a tool that just works here, a piece of human waste retail worker
>go in the back room or the bathroom to cry and shake out of anxiety
>get paged since I'm management
>still management at a shit place so it doesn't even matter, I'm king of the landfill.
