Best insults
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Post the best insults/burns you have ever heard
I'll start
>be in middle school
>talking with a couple guys from my class
>topic is girls, and one of them mentions an ugly girl from our school
>standard insults are dropped until one of them drops this one
>"Dude x is so fucking ugly, her face is a fucking natural disaster"
>mfw
'Were you born on the motorway? Cuz thats where most accidents happen'
>>28566465
>female says the same exact thing
>"women are ebil!"
>"normies have no empathy :'( "
>"and ppl womder why we hate women??"
>>28566465
It went something like this:
>OP is a faggot
>>28566465
Why does the fat chick have a double backpack?
To carry all her snacks
>>28566465
get super fucked up and go to high school football game, also am asian.
>this chick says she's pregnant
>keeps on telling everyone at the game
>I ask her if she's really pregnant
>out of nowhere she says "yeah but I don't fuck asian guys"
>I reply
>YEAH BUT YOU FUCK EVERYONE ELSE
>"OOOOOOOOHHHH" can be heard everywhere
>I felt invincible
>>28566465
>two brown kids at my school
>one popular, one not
>popular one talks shit to me infront of all the cool crew
>say, "Yeah, alright "x" ", purposefully using the other brown kids name
>everyone in the whole room blows up "ohHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>mfw he had no comeback to my blatant racism and never bothered me again
>>28566737
Topkek
origami comment
>Be in High School
>2012
>Few weeks from graduating
>Local douche just got a 2012 Mustang
>His dad bought it for him
>I only know this because I doubt he could by a new $27k car on a grocery bagger's money
>It's a V6
>He spent a what money he had to dress it up like a Cobra
>Spoiler, Grill, the Wheels the fucking BADGES
>Looks like a near identical cobra
>Except he was dumb enough to slap engine badges on the rear bumper
>3.7 Cyclone
>In AP English
>Douche is bragging about his "Cobra"
>Some kid tells him to can it
>"Don't be so salty, faggot"
>Immediately quip back
>"You can call him salty all you want [Douche's name], but at the end of the day he's not spending money ricing out his Secretary's Car."
>This struck a nerve with Douche
>He literally goes off about how he's going to kick my ass and how I'm jealous
>Teacher has him removed from class
>Didn't hear a peep from him for the last few weeks
>Last I heard he actually traded in his V6 for a 2006 GT500
>The payments and insurance are so high that he's still living at home and had to drop out of Uni a semester in
>tfw got a job with my state right out of high school
>tfw saved up enough and have a 2015 Fiesta ST I bought out right and have a CBR600r
>tfw living cozy in my condo with my sporty shitbox and crotch rocket paid in full
>He still lives at home driving an outdated Cobra
>mfw
>>28567083
if your that successful then why the fuck are you in this board?a-are you here to laugh at us?
>>28566465
>high school senior
>was talking about various sluts with my bros
>one particular girl comes up in conversation
>this younger kid who tagged along with us pipes up
>"if Dicks were planes, she'd be a fucking airport"
>mfw
Insults depend either on the situation or on what you know of the guy you're facing. Blatant and unoriginal stuff like shitstain or faggot are so unimpressive. All it does is build up rage.
But a nice fucking burn can totally disarm someone, especially if people are watching.
Just gather some negative traits and brew something up with that, make sure to link it to the current situation. Turn it into a cruel joke.
Playing on easy stereotypes is allowed.
>>28566465
What a load of losers....you are /r9k/ personified, give yourselves a handjob.
>>28567083
Nice car choice anon. I've been thinking about the focus st too but I could also get an rs if I saved more..
>>28567305
It never even happened, you fucking idiot.
>>28567469
Most of the guys i was talking to including the one who dropped that burn went on to slay a lot of pussy.
I know you are "fembot", but there is no need to be this salty.
>>28567505
im in here with you for a reason ok
>>28567469
What are you crying about? Can't handle the bantz?
>>28566465
A girl at my school told a fat kid "[his name], you need to wear a bra", and he replied "[her name], you don't".
Everyone who heard laughed at her instead of him, it was the best reversal I've ever seen.
>>28566567
People talk shit all the time, you need thicker skin.
Stop being triggered because a girl got made fun of, girls make fun of other girls more often and more brutally.
>>28567659
What a legend
originalio
>>28567659
Brilliant execution
Solid, quick comeback.
I love it.
>be me
>in English
>Teacher is a cool dude, tells us a lot of stories throughout class
>talking about this one where he recently was getting married to his 2nd wife, and something about pissing her off
>he says that if he didn't get his shit together he'd throw all his shit out the window, and she'd keep the dog but he'd keep the cat
>I sidebar with "Well at least you'd be getting pussy still in one way"
>Class goes into hysterics
>Teacher lost his shit too, wasn't even mad
>mfw I somehow pulled that off
>>28566465
>be 14 year old me
>go to science class
>some bitch starts talking shit about me behind my back
>say to her "I see you're spreading rumors about me. Looks like you've finally learned to spread things other than your legs"
>she starta crying "muh sexual harassment"
>literally nobody listened to her victim screech
>mfw
>>28568388
B R U T A L
original comment
robot pls go away
