>"ahahaha its so EZ BRAH"
I just went around to every small business in a 25 mile radius of my house this week to ask if they're hiring. I got 37 nos, 3 "we don't like to hire your race", and 11 just handed me an application which I filled out on the spot. Iknow they wont hire me from it though, since they'll just hire people they know.
>"but why didn't you just walk into the large stores anon XDD"
Because they tell you to apply online when you do, and none of my online apps in the last two years have been successful.
>"lol you can't get hired magically like me? What are you a felon?"
I've never even so much as gotten a ticket. I have my own car, decent references (some trustworthy long-time online friends and others professors), I have leadership experience, and I have good grades. I am not delusional enough to think this is sufficient. The world is ruled by normalfags, and normalfags are incredibly social to the point where they ignore practicality just to hire some guy that made them laugh.
Sadly I am not charismatic, funny, or witty despite my best efforts to socialize and reading several books on the subject, so I already know I don't have what it takes.
Probably just going to suicide, but I want to try a little longer so no one can say it's my fault.
You tried any temp agencies? I got hited on the spot for one, it's long hours and shitty but I don't go hungry
>>28549223
I tried every temp agency in town already. None called back
>>28549223
What this guy said
I was in the same boat till I went to a temp company, got a job on nightshift in a warehouse for Shoppers Drug Mart
13.50 an hour, wasn't bad but I quit when I got a better job
>>28549261
Maybe try going to their offices
>>28549337
I went in and gave them my resume after talking with them smartass
>>28549261
>calling
I'm the shoppers drug Mart anon
I walked into their office, gave them my credentials, filled out a form, and walked out with a job
>>28549187
>we don't like to hire your race
This doesn't happen unless you live in a shitty third-world country. Life's not a TV show, faggot.
>>28549366
When I walked in and gave them my resume they said they'd call me back. I even went to the local goverment staffing office and they didn't help at all.
I'm glad you are so lucky. Hell one place even told me that they dont take resumes and that I need to use their website, of which again did not yield any results.
>>28549187
Whats the unemployment rate like round you?
I remember applying for such jobs and the trick is to call in and ask if they got a chance to look at your application. Wait a week, then call in. They ask your name, look you up, and schedule an interview or maybe say they need someone to work weekends would you like that, or whatever.
>>28549387
They were mexicans actually. Maybe they dont know of civil rights laws or felt they could get away with it
>>28549261
>temp agencies won't hire you
you've got to be real fucking shit
they'll hire anyone, most of the jobs they fill just need a living person
>>28549400
>waiting a week to do a company's job for them
He's better off trying to chat up normalfags at an event, making a friend, and asking said friend for a job.
That is the only way to get work these days. It's obnoxious, and somewhat evil, but there it is
>>28549418
My resume is fine, I have a car, and I've never been in trouble with the law.
But maybe you're right, maybe I just suck
I''ll hire you full time to suck my dick.
>>28549418
Yeah wtf, one of the batches of people hired with me was a former druggie and convict and had a face tattoo, dumb as rocks too
>>28549187
Congratulations you just discovered the just world theory. The truth is to succeed in modern society you need just that...society. If you are born to parents who didn't plan past their next fuck you fucked. If you don't have friends to hook you up, you're fucked. Everyone pretends all you have to is "work hard" because religion and movies tell us that. If we told the truth to kids there would be way more crime
>>28549462
You know that it's possible that they simply dont have positions where he is right?
>>28549462
I went to a temp job agency. Had to wait half a year to get hired
>>28549498
^
Anyone that says they got hired from these useless shitheads is either lying or in a very good area
>>28549410
It's only illegal if it is whites doing it to minorities
>>28549187
I am totally autistic and succeeding like crazy in my IT career. I'm starting a new job soon and negotiated things so that I'm only in the office 4 days a week and spend friday "on call" AKA working in my garden and youtubing until someone calls me with a computer issue. Normies wish they had that kind of workweek.
Get the skills, pay the bills. https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/learning/default.aspx get certs get paid. You can guarantee yourself employment if you study up and get certs. Its not that hard and this shit looks great on a resume
>>28549274
Drake pls go.
>>28549468
.Everyone pretends all you have to is "work hard"
I told /k/ my situation when it came up, and they told me it was my fault for not "manning up" or "trying hard enough". I've been trying for two ears though with different approaches. My recent trek to these small businesses is one of them, so what would people have me do?
>>28549481
>>28549498
Guess you just live in a shit area. I live near Boeing so they actually import in contract workers from all over the country to fill jobs in.
>>28549573
OP here. You're right, and I've been studying to get a cert in C++, MATLAB, and HTML5. Problem is I need the money to pay for it, and without a job...well..
>>28549600
I live near a NASA, Boeing, Raytheon, Lockheed, and Teledyne.
Try moving to a different state. Seriously that's fucked
>>28549667
>"just move with no money bro! :^)"
>"transit tickets are free now dontcha know?"
>>28549187
ausfag here.
>I was neet for 2 years out of HS
>I worked door-2-door for a year.
>Did a shitty 6 month community collage bus. admin course (learning how to be a basic admin worker really)
>Unemployed again for just over a year
>Got a call center job for 3 months after which I was sacked because they gave horrible training and I was just bad at it
>Unemployed for about 4 months
>Got a casual receptionist job at 25
>Do good at it
>Do really good at it
>Even though I'm casual I'm almost full time since I can do entry stuff throughout the place and someone's always sick so I almost always have a spot to fill
>9 months and get a temp promotion to an actual admin
>Do ok, it finishes and I get another temp side-motion for 6 months
>Once that finished I was given a permanent promotion to an admin role
It's been 2.5 months since.
Getting an actual job is bullshit and worse than anything. So many times you feel like shit because you're rejected from some entry level job.
Make sure you lift/read in the downtime.
>>28549460
I offered OP a job. He's just a lazy fuck that doesn't want to work.
>>28549750
Maybe he just doesn't want to go near your smelly, smegma-ridden chode.
>>28549629
I'm more of a network admin than a developer/programmer. I think Microsoft certs are probably easier than programming certificates since people post test dumps online for all of them so you can ace them pretty easy if you're desperate and can't afford a class to learn the material properly. I'm pretty sure this is how 95% of these Indian outsourced fucks get their certs so don't feel guilty about cheating if you're in a desperate position.
>>28549818
A job's a job.
>>28549827
this
Just fake it til you make it
>>28549187
>Current year
>Adding your online friends on a JOB APPLICATION
>Adding any friends on a resume
>>28549887
shut the fuck up man
i mean it, just shut your fucking mouth.
>>28549957
Then who else would he put for a reference? References are required you know, and you cant fake those
'sides normalfags like you may not see it but online frineds can be very legitimate if you've known them a long time
>>28549957
Rampitup43 and xxskaterboyxx589 provided excellent references.
>>28549980
what's wrong with cheating on online tests until you can make it
it's not enough anymore to just show up and do the work without incident. Now you have to have a salesman's personality and prove it with bullshit like that just to wash dishes or mop floors.
>>28550027
he means a chad would have said something like what you did instead of saying something that is practically useful and viable for OP's situation like that other guy did
>>28549187
Son, you just aren't trying. I got my union factory 9-5 job making the equivalent of $65,000 a year when houses cost the equivalent of $100,000 a year right out of high school without having to do much hunting around. You milennials are just lazy and entitled.
/s boomer
>>28550044
that is useful advice. You can cheat on some certificate tests and then use those to get a job. You can then freelance or try selling a game to a company
>>28550072
Kids these days
I went to college and paid for it myself back when rent for a two bedroom apartment was $50
>>28550276
I paid for it working at the local hardware store making the equivalent of $18 an hour. Kids these days just don't want to work minimum wage jobs and expect to have everything handed to them.
I have never gotten a job from applying myself.
My first job was as a janitor at a shady call center, which I got from someone at my church. Only half a year before they let me go cause they couldn't afford to pay me minimum wage any more.
And my current job in a small office I got through my father who knows the business owner.
The meritocracy is a lie. You have to know someone to get anything better than part time minimum wage, and even then there's no promise of opportunity to advance. I'm still only making 9/hr over a year later.
>>28549187
>Some trustworthy long-time online friends
>Trustworthy long-time online friends
>Long-time online friends
>Online friends
>>28550635
Then does that mean normalfags are evil?
>>28550680
it's better than using your parents dude
>>28549187
I know your feel man.
That's why I was a NEET for 2 years.
I went in person and asked around. Filled out applications in person. Applied to dozens of places online.
Only 6 months ago I found an incredible shit job paying $8.50. I've spent nearly every day trying to find a better job. Not a single response back yet.
I can't even imagine how insanely difficult it must be for someone who has a criminal history to find a job. Hell, that's probably why they always end back up in jail.
This shit is stupid.
>>28549694
it's really not a big deal to move states
especially if this is his actually situation faggot
>graduate university
>apply online daily for an entire year
>going in person just gets you redirected to their website
>only a dozen interviews and only one not over the phone
>wait anywhere from a week to 6 months for a rejection
>none of them even sounded interested in hiring me at the start
>dads friend that I never met recommends me to his sons company
>interviewed in person later that week and offered the position two hours after it ended
Everything is 100% connections. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
>teehee we're always taking resumes :)
thanks for fucking nothingeva reference captcha?
>>28551047
How are you going to move to a new state and take up residence without money? Tell me that
>>28551113
what a bunch of fucking bullshit. If that's the case why even bother trying. Maybe people who do crime aren't all that evil after all.
i wish i could make a living at home and never have to interact with anyone in person.
that would be heaven
>>28551113
this, I've been applying to a ton of places online and I barely even get an interview. Managed to get an internship because my dad's friend works there and now I am currently getting an interview at another job because my friend recommended me.
>>28551254
you're making me mad
>>28549187
I've completely given up on finding an IRL job. I do some online work now through textbroker. Hoping I can do something through upwork
>>28551183
In fact, criminals from jail probably can land jobs easier than people who actually graduate crime free due to better connections.
Me, just graduated from chemical engineering and the market is shit. My dad has no connections, but got himself a good job during the baby boomer era. My mother is pretty much braindead and sits on a chair watching the window all day. Im an ugly asian guy with no connections and my dad is giving me shit for not being able to land a job. Its really shitty.
>>28551305
why'd you give up?
>>28551277
One of my coworkers is a druggie covered with tattoos. He got his job because he was a bartender and gave the project manager free drinks. He now works as a cushy design engineer where he does nothing in the fall since our work is seasonal.
>>28551309
Here are the following people who will make fun of you for not being able to find a job:
>/k/
>/b/
>40 year old normalfags
>30 year old normalfags
>Chad
>bragfags on this board
>asian women
>hispanic women
>some black women
>the media
>movies
You best start becoming socially adept and making tons of friends if you care about any of the aforementioned parties' opinions.
>>28551354
RAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHH
OP and the rest of you jobless shitheads are pathetic. Stop trying to get a job that you want, and start trying to get a job that you need. See that Walmart or target? They constantly have people walk out. Go there and work that min wage job. Anything is better than $0.00/hr, except sucking dick and getting stds. See that construction mill? How about the coal mines? Get your ass over there and give the manager a firm fucking handshake and get you a. Fucking job.
Stop with this C## bullshit. Everyone and their grandma can """code""". Too bad you can't sit in front of a blue LED screen doing fuck all. Get a ducking job faggot
>>28549187
How old are you? I had a lot of trouble getting a job from age 16-19 because no one wanted to hire shitty teenagers.
>>28549187
Real talk. There are only 3 ways to get a job 1) have a special set of skills (usually only applies to specified jobs where they're looking for an expert in that category) 2)Be early to apply 3) (and this is the biggest one) Know someone who works in that company. Companies love it if they can hire someone one of their employees (especially in a high position) knows because hiring a complete stranger has more risk.
>>28551372
See >>28551354 , >>28551309 , and >>28549187
Stop being a smartass. You aren't witty or funny m8
>>28551356
>tfw don't give a fuck about any of those people's opinion
>tfw white and my white gf works while i NEET it up
also how are movies people
>>28551321
1.Car broke down so I can't really leave my house(I live in a rural area)
2.Small town so I ran out of places to apply quickly
3.The only place that wanted to hire me is in a city I can't commute to.
Basically my car broke down and now I'm stranded
>>28551371
>See that construction mill? How about the coal mines?
You need experience for construction work
>Get your ass over there and give the manager a firm fucking handshake and get you a. Fucking job.
This isn't Gran Turino
>>28549187
idk op, just be urself
>>28551356
Worst part is when I ask a peripheral family member, like a cousin or uncle, on if thir company is hiring, I always get the, "Check online, anon, that's where they hire!"
I once asked my dad's cousin and got the reslonse above. This was in my parents house and apparently my dad got drunk and was asleep. I told those fucking bitches to get their asses out of my house.
Its too fucking competitive. My own family would sell me out for nothing. Just a bunch of fucking chunks of meat to me!
>>28551371
wagies are truly insane
I can't beleive people are actually empathizing with OP instead of making fun of him.
I thought this thread would be full of normalfags who got their jobs through friends and assumes everyone else got that perk liek they did
>>28549187
>3 we don't like to hire your race
B8
>>28551401
I'm not being a smart ass. Certain establishments only hire teenagers because adults don't want to work there. So, if they can get someone older, they will because teenagers are notoriously shitty workers... And yes, even ex cons and tatted up druggies are generally a better choice.
>>28551528
hell no i'm a NEET >>28551410 just sitting back and laughing my ass off
>>28551426
>you need experience
Hand. Shake it firmly. Just face it, you're a pussy. You see "two years in <<<field>>> recommended" and think the following:
>golly gee wiz I don't have even a minutes time in <<<field>>>, I might as well give up!
But you forget that the scientist had no experience with his hypothesis, and yet he still created E=mc2.
Get off your ass and earn your shit. If you want to be NEET, go ahead I don't look down on you. If I could I would go NEET. But stop making excuses for not having a job holy shit. Just say you don't want one.
>>28551426
>You need experience for construction work
You need certification too because of the equipment you have to use
p.s his comment about coding is bullshit. Most people find programming incredibly dull and won't bother with it. Few people are interested in an actual project
>>28551557
OP literally went out and tried to earn his shit and applied online for two years but somehow because he hasnt used your "ancient chinese secret" he's lazy?
>>28551605
so he's just shitposting in >>28551557 too?
>>28551557
This is like a stereotypical script for an angry baby boomer completely out of touch with the current job market. Go to bed, grandpa
>>28551557
>But you forget that the scientist had no experience with his hypothesis, and yet he still created E=mc2.
Einstein had been doing notable scientific work since he was 15
>>28551354
What the fuck dude
this isnt real. It cant be
>>28549187
> tfw I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life, and how I was going to get there, by age 12
> tfw I followed my plan and have the job I wanted at 12 and managed to do it even easier than my original plan
> tfw happiness is not found in a well-paying career but in love and finding people you care about to share your experiences with
> tfw I spent the best years of my life as an asocial robot in a permanent state of semi-dissociation while I impersonally followed a plan I came up with after a 6th grade motivational speaker
>>28551629
yessirebob
>>28551749
nice bragpost
got more for us?
>>28551605
>Most people find programming incredibly dull and won't bother with it. Few people are interested in an actual project
Programmer here. Clients are the real problem. They change what they want all the time and expect you to change everything whenever they want even if you have to rewrite everything. Right now I got handed three different sets of instructions that all conflict with each other. No matter what I do, I will do it wrong.
>>28551784
I did nothing memorable from the age of 12 to 23.
>>28551630
Muh boomah mufugga
20 years old, black, working in fucking retail going to uni. Shut the fuck up with your bitch ass whining. Get out there and give your manager a firm fucking handshake, earn your keep bitch.
I respect you if you're NEET, but not an unemployed whiny faggot. You're worse than the minwage retards clamouring for $15/hr to have a thumb up their ass.
>>28551800
and that's something few people are willing to bother with
>>28549187
>wanting a job
That being said, if I were you, I'd just lie on your resume. You seem to be a halfway competent writer, and I can tell you, spinning lies is as simple as making up a believable greentext story. Just make sure you flesh out all the details and you won't trip yourself up, trust me. I'm anxious as fuck but as long as I have the story straight then it's as simple as telling the truth.
As for references, I've heard that in most cases they don;t actually bother to check them, so make those up as well. If worst comes to worst, you can try to get a friend or family member to pose as someone else, but you probably won't even need to go that far.
Most jobs are easy as fuck and easily staffed by retards, as long as you have some idea of what the job involves it should all work out.
You dont just out in apps you have to follow up several times. These places get shit tons of applications.
>>28549187
I've never looked into it but I've heard that if you get a landline there are companies that will contract you to do customer support from home. Might be better than nothing.
I almost got hooked up with an insanely sweet job in construction, which normally I'd need years of experience and training for. My dad's friend who works in the industry went out of his way and offered to write fake credentials and such for me. For no reason other than that I "know" him which I don't even, I've met him like twice. Anyway he killed himself a bit later so the plans fell through. Thanks, universe.
Yes, everything in your life revolves around being social and charismatic, and being that is far more important than anything else, by a huge margin. This goes for friendship, love, job opportunities, basically any positive thing in life.
>>28549187
>try to get a job delivering Pizza
>need a Masters in Pizza Science
>>28552260
>Yes, everything in your life revolves around being social and charismatic
Sounds evil to me. Basically women like successful men because it implies they are social?
>>28552313
No, women like successful men because they're wealthy and can care of them well.
>>28552322
Why do normalfags love to hire people they know so much rather than people who are objectively fucking qualified? Why is being social so important to them? It makes me very angry
>>28549187
>that kid who uses the "i tried everything" meme
good for you senpai you still don't have a job and most people find it pretty easy. get good.
>>28549667
>dude just move away from everyone lmao
>dude it's somehow so easy to do it even if you don't have the money lmao
>>28549187
Try eating an entire BM in front of the interviewer. It's gross and unpleasant but you have to do something to stand out. They'll be talking later and they'll be like "who should we hire? everyone was the same. hey what about that guy who ate that BM? sure whatever, hire the BM guy. let's make BM guy CEO" and then suddenly you're the CEO just from setting yourself apart by publicly ingesting a large BM and answering interview questions around a heaping mouthful of stale, foul BM.
>>28552358
If I haven't tried everything then tell me what I haven't tried. Otherwise you're being needlessly obnoxious and therefore shitposting.
Most people ITT have share stories confirming you can only get a job if you have friends, which I don't want to believe but it seems true the more I think about it.
>>28550028
Sometimes I just wish life was like one of those "dystopia" movies where the government assigns you a function or some shit.
>>28552387
>what I haven't tried
Fake resume. Fake personality. Lots of lies.
There is no reason not to.
This should have been the first thing you thought of and did.
>>28549274
don't lie. you got the warehouse job, and the job after that, by eating a large BM during the interviews. don't keep your secrets to yourself you sneaky little BM eater. YOU GOT THE JOB BECAUSE YOU ATE A BM YOU LIAR
>>28552387
take shit one step at a time for example. get a certificate in something you want to do and then an internship/volunteer. apprentice at some trade first maybe, literally everybody is hiring for blue collar shit always. show that you want the job with a company/team in particular rather than just showing up randomly for a spot. there's never going to be a point where you try everything, that's the dumbest shit man. move out if it's so bad in your city (its not)
>>28552408
>Fake resume
Heard that a thousand times. Did it. Repeatedly for months. Didn't do jack.
>Fake personality.
You think a guy with no charisma to begin with can somehow fake charisma? Why don't you tell a roach to start faking being an anteater next.
>Lots of lies
Coincides only with resume, since I never even get an interview.
So you haven't really said anything revolutionary.
>>28552408
*second thing
First thing you should try in any scenario is eating a BM. I asked a stranger to marry me and she told me to leave her alone. She was about to mace me, but, thinking quickly, I grabbed the nearest BM and shoved it in my mouth. Needless to say, cunt changed her tune and now we have 5 little BM factories running around the house (which i bought for half of market value by eating a BM in front of the real estate agent).
>>28552451
>move out if it's so bad in your city
How can I move out with no money?
>internship
Internships either reject or ignore my applications
> apprentice at some trade first maybe
If only I could.
>>28552458
Seems like there's only one revolutionary idea in this thread. It's the one that you wish didn't work, but it does work. Every fucking time.
Eee
Ay
Tee
Bee
Em
