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Anonymous
2016-05-13 10:29:32 Post No. 28532048
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Anonymous
2016-05-13 10:29:32
Post No. 28532048
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Why I fall in love with guy friends even though I'm not gay? I fap to women, I want to have sex with women, but I can't connect with them and I always fall for guys and want to cuddle and kiss them.
When I was 16-17 years old, I had a new friend who was really nice to me. He was okay with hugging me, asking me if I'm alright, told me he "loves me" etc. and that made me feel better about myself. At some point I realize it's not just friendship I feel for him. I thought he feels the same so once I tried to kiss him but then he got confused and said that I've misunderstood something, he's straight. So it got awkward between us and we just stopped seeing each other, eventually he got a girlfriend. I got depressed and it took me some time to get over it, though it was probably good thing it happened since the whole unrequited love made me just miserable.
Next guy I met through anime thing, and we started hanging out. He was kind of like me and he had low self-confidence, but he also had more empathy in him. He thought he was really ugly and everything even though he was really cute, and he didn't think I'm a creep when I told it to him. He also could let me rest my head on his lap and then he was stroking my hair so I got too attached again, but once again I misunderstood friendliness as something else and was crushed when he met some girl.
And now I'm doing this again, and out of all people it's Chad. He's very alpha guy but not an asshole and I've started fantasizing about him in non-sexual way. I also have little mancrush on Milo Yiannopoulos but not so serious.
I also get very possessive with these guys, I hate it when a guy or girl gets along with them because I'm scared they'll steal him from me and I want to be the one with "special treatment". I remember when the first friend was playfully hugging some other friend of his and I got so angry, I just wanted to get rid of that other friend. I don't want to be like this.
