Guys, I have been invited to a pizza restaurant by my fellow classmates. This is the first time I have EVER been asked by anyone to do anything social and I am planning to try and ensure I get the pizza I order correct. So, I am currently in the process of assessing the most and least autistic orders at a pizza restaurant. Can you review and analyse my determinations?
Most autistic
>Lasagna and Pasta
It is a pizza restaurant so I assume I would be making a mistake here. Most of them will be enjoying their slices and I kind of want to 'smash' my slices against theirs as a sort of bonding game, which Lasagna and Pasta makes impossible
>Pizza with only cheese
This is the best kind of pizza but I imagine due to my low weight (108lbs) they will comment like 'is that all you are having' and I want to avoid it
>Meatball Pizza
Whenever I eat meatball pizza at home I like to shape some of the crust into a dinosaur shape then put it on the pizza and drop the meatballs on to simulate a meteor shower- I can't do it in public lol. Also, eating a meatball pizza means going meatball THEN pizza which means I will finish too late
>Spicey pizza
I am well known as going red in social situations so a pizza that makes me do it can only cause problems
Least autistic
>Pizza with spinach
Normies like spinach I think, and it would make me look like a strong eater who enjoys subtle taste
>Hawaiian Pizza
Probably generates discussion due to the fruit on the pizza. I know lots of fruit facts because I read about fruit 2/3 hours a day so it would be a good chance to impress
>Stuffed Crust Pizza
Would make me look daring and brave
>Olive topped pizza
See Spinach
What do you guys think?
I think you might be overthinking it a little too much
>>28517514
Make sure to post this on r/4chan for maximum karma
It doesn't matter what you order. If you actually put this much thought into it AND have to ask anonymous people on [r9k] you're autistic no matter what
>>28517514
>I kind of want to 'smash' my slices against theirs as a sort of bonding game
No pizza toasts, don't do it.
>>28517514
u can't be serious fampai.
I think you're autistic OP
>>28517514
Best post all day
This comment so orignale
>>28517514
Anything other than Pepperoni is autistic. You can try asking for Salami if you're at an actual Pizzeria.
>>28517514
>>Hawaiian Pizza
>Probably generates discussion due to the fruit on the pizza. I know lots of fruit facts because I read about fruit 2/3 hours a day so it would be a good chance to impress
Chad here. Fruit facts are one of the many ways I get impress girls. Go for Hawaiian.
>>28517562
It's almost surely this
No matter what you get, make sure to make a napkin big, so you don't look like an autist with a stained shirt.
>>28517669
Fruit facts, is expert level game tbqh.
>>28517514
>Pizza with only cheese
>This is the best kind of pizza
K Y S
You were that picky faggot kid at birthday parties that would always ruin the pizza by getting just cheese when everybody want real topping. Just cheese is not a fucking topping it's a base.
>>28517676
This is a must OP.
>>28517514
this is the most autistic thread and OP on 4chan this entire day so far. this is amazing.
OP you are a colossal social failure and if you aren't dead or dying by 30, you're sure to devolve into being a creepy pedo or murderer/rapist
Bravo!
>>28517645
Not OP, but I often prefer garlic chicken or something because grease is a serious issue for me. Pizza is bad enough as it is.
>>28517726
Don't listen this this OP. I once ordered Pasta and I was bullied for the rest of the year.
>>28517514
this post made my day op, you might as well get pasta cuz your gonna spill your spaghetti anyway
>>28517676
What the fuck, wear a fuckin napkin?
Stop saying this, have you ever been ooutside or to a party?
You dont want to look like some fucking autist man.
Just eat the fucking pizza and talk with the people.
fuckkk, dont over think shit.
>>28517676
impress your friends by not being a manbaby that needs a bib to eat
>>28517811
Yeah, have fun looking like an Autist w/ a big tomato sauce stain on your shirt.
We're not farm animals anon.
>>28517514
whats autistic is you caring about this so much
just get whatevers tasty
the other night i went to a burger place and got a fukken plain poutine, aint no one started shit
>>28517811
the bait
it works so well
Whenever I get pizza I always get sausage, but if you want to be normie just get whatever else gets and order it in a casual "I don't really care" way. Unless they order a heroin and taco pizza or something stupid like that
>>28517691
hey girl, wanna see my avocado?
Jesus christ OP it's just pizza. Nobody cares what fucking pizza you get.
>>28517514
>Most autistic
That would probably be planning an unforseeable event because you are scared of fucking up in social situatioons.I guess I just fell for bait, didn't I?
>>28517840
A manbaby is one that stains his shirt. I've actually seen normies put them on their laps before. Amateurs. You don't want to be that retarded seriously.
>>28517909
>Whenever I get pizza I always get sausage
You were fishing for funny replys with that one, weren't you?
>>28518011
>A manbaby is one that stains his shirt
Correct. An adult doesn't need a bib to have a clean shirt.
>>28517726
>needing to be this much of a dick to someone who posted, frankly, one of the better threads on /r9k/ today to validate yourself
give suicide a long and hard thought friendo
>>28517676
OP here. As we are going after class I was going to wear shorts. I was thinking of some pizza related jokes too if you would like to hear them?
>Why do bankrupt italians eat Calzone? Because their pizza places folded!
>Why does the spaghetti feel bad for the cheese sauce? Because the Lasagna sheets on her! (cheats on her)
>Why doesn't Popeye have spinach on his pizza? Because he has a gluten intolerance
I am struggling though.
>>28518033
You don't want to take the risk.
>>28517514
Italian here
go with the pepperoni pizza like the other anon suggested, it's a pretty common pizza, but not a "boring" one.
There are a lot of mid-level pizzas, ie with something other than cheese but without going autistic with fruits (eww) or a ton of ingredients. Just check on the menu and pick something from the middle price range.
You can also ask your friends for a suggestion, especially if they've already been there: it's kind of a way to bond with them.
I'd skip the whole fruit facts part, if you want to impress learn something about pizza.
The napkin goes on your lap. Also look at how your friends eat, if they use fork and knife or directly with their hands, and act accordingly.
>>28517514
Honestly dude go for a Meatlovers Pizza if you are a dude. All normal people either get Cheese Pizza or Meatlovers. Pepperoni is fine too depending on the situation. I'd also wait to order to see what kind of drinks everyone's getting. If most people are getting water just get a water. If people are ordering a pop get something normal like diet coke or regular coke. GL m8
>>28518118
What do italians get on their pizza? I hear that pepperoni just means pepper there so if you order a "pepperoni pizza" you'll just get cheese and peppers.
>>28518159
whatever the fuck they want
that said, all the italian bois i ever knew just get pepperoni
>>28518159
If they're actually In Italy, whatever the Italian word for salami is.
>>28517514
Man fuck you underweight faggots I can't go get pizza with anyone because I'm overweight (also ugly) :^(
>>28517514
These posters make good point famalam
>>28517669
>>28517676
I always wear the napkin, people stare sometimes but they understand when I explain it to them. I recommend you just explain it to everyone when you put it on to get the subject out of the way. IME everyone will treat you extra nice.
Hawaii's a good pizza for the aforementioned reasons. But my favorite meal is kebab with fries, because you get so much of it, you can share it around the table. They will find you extremely generous and like you even more! Even if they never accept the food
>>28518102
you're definitely gong to get laid with that material.
>>28517514
Pepperoni is the most normie. They may also accept something with just meat of some kind on it. Literally anything else will make retards uncomfortable. Even if you get plain cheese, the faggots will still probably make some kind of comment. Mark my words. Normalshits CAN NOT be at peace with anyone doing anything 0.000000000001% different from them.
>>28517514
get olives, mushrooms, and pepperoni
the pepperoni will show that you are traditional and true to your nature but the daring olive+mushroom combination shows you are a freethinker and not a slave to society's ideals
To recap:
>go w/ the bib
>order the Hawaiian
>hit em with that calzone joke
>finish off with some fruit facts
You're going to be the most popular guy in class OP.
>>28518159
>>28518215
pepperoni pizza is called "diavola", which means "of the devil", because of the spicy salami.
Other pretty common ingredients here are all the different kind of ham, sausages, wurstel, bacon, mushrooms, tuna, anchovies, olives, onion, fries, and so on.
>>28518347
This is really the only sensible approach.
get the good pizza
>>28517514
>'smash' my slices against theirs as a sort of bonding game
Oh my god
![488x366[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/YEff4Iz.jpg "488x366[1].jpg")
INSERT DOODLE INTO PIZZA HAHAH
HA
HAH
AH
H
AH
AH
HA
A
\XXDDDD
GIVE EM THE GOOD OLD
"""""BIG SAUSAGE PIZZA"""""
>>28518347
Don't forget
>smash slices together to bond
>>28517645
This.
Pepperoni is the only safe Pizza to order. Meatfeast can be good too but you might seem homosexual.
Never order those Cheese Garlic Pizzas, this is something for your individual enjoyment, at ones own home, not for public eateries.
>>28518102
Sounds close to, "Because he shits on her." You'll be known as that scat kid if you say that, maybe even scat rat, like scat as in fecal matter and rat because of the rat pack because pizzas are italian, i hope you understand what im saying i dont get to talk to other autistics very often on this forum
>>28519408
>i dont get to talk to other autistics very often on this forum
lol what bullshit r u on KENT!
IM POOING!!!!!!!!!!
OP here.
Can I touch my willy in public, mates?
I like to make willypleasure :)
>>28517514
>Most of them will be enjoying their slices and I kind of want to 'smash' my slices against theirs as a sort of bonding game, which Lasagna and Pasta makes impossible
you don't need any sort of italian food to do that m8
>>28519462
you can but you shouldnt do big cums because not much places to clean it up just do edges ok no cums
>>28519462
go 2 the ball pit
>>28519473
>>28519488
>>28519624
>>28519462
>>28519187
>>28519154
>>28519112
>>28518573
>>28519272
>>28518347
>>28518330
>>28518147
>>28518352
>>28518189
>>28518215
>>28518159
>>28517955
>>28517984
>>28517955
>>28518021
>>28517852
>>28517793
>>28517784
>>28517726
>>28517703
>>28517848
>>28517875
>>28517811
>>28518033
>>28518011
>>28517840
>>28518288
>>28519408
>>28517676
>>28517669
>>28517747
>>28519309
>>28517645
>>28517608
>>28517606
>>28517597
>>28517564
>>28517562
>>28517555
Pepperoni is a topping for assholes that dump slimy poo in your parent's mouths, then of course you can add whatever you want. But stop using pepperoni, it's not funny anymore.
>>28519696
fuck off maddox
>>28519462
>>28519488
Yes also keep it in your pants. Stroke it through your pocket inconspicuously, I recommend no underwear for this.
If you accidentally leak and they see the cumdrizzle, just say you spilled some garlic sauce. This is also why you should get a kebab, so you can get garlic sauce and have an excuse for accidentally leaking cumdrizzle.
>>28518236
I understand how you feel, anon.
Prosciutto crudo, cherry tomatoes, rucola and onion master race
>>28519921
>implying they can get that in 'murrica
OP make sure you eat the pizza starting at the crust, the normies will be blown away by this cunning and tactful display
I don't care if this is bait. The amount of autism, whether it is ironic, or pure trolling, or serious, is off the fuckin' charts. This can't be real.
That being said. OP is a faggot. Get a pepperoni sausage jalapeno bacon pizza with extra cheese and light sauce, thick crust if available. Eat it with a fork and knife, and no napkin on your lap or shirt, and when someone laughs that you eat it with a fork and knife, tell them that real men eat pizza with a fork and knife and tip your fedora and continue slicin up your pizz with your katana.
>>28517514
Eat the pizza with spinach. Everybody needs those green vegetables.
>copied this post to wizchan to see how theyd react to it.
>get banned in minutes for referencing socializing
>even this isn't wizy enough for them
>>28519462
shut up, scottcuck
>>28517514
Just enjoy yourself sperging out, I dont think this is going to go well by how much youre overthinking it.
>>28518011
I was never taught how to use a napkin so I always just folded it and hid under the plate or scrunched up and put it on the table. I ate with my richfag friend and he had to whisper me to use the napkin right.
Cheese pizza is the worst. Anyone who even wants that should kill themselves. Pepperoni, ham, sausage, bacon, and mushroom are the best pizzas. Hamburger too if it's available but some places can't do it. Meat is the only acceptable pizza topping besides the sauce and cheese. Red sauce is the only acceptable kind too. BBQ, shit, pesto, poop, cum, vomit, all the common alternatives are horrible choices.
>>28517514
No one will give a shit about what pizza you'll order.
>>28522009
I went out and a new guy joined us. He voted for Hawaiian BBQ and then pouted when we wouldn't get it. He never hung out with us again. Honestly I'm surprised he thought he even deserved friends despite liking the wrong pizza.
You're a fucking loser if you can't even order a pizza. You're going to fuck this up.
>>28519696
maddox don't you have a BBC to suck?
>>28521909
i agree except mushroom is shit
Get one with fries and burgers.
>>28519993
Not evergreen Italian tho
Italians make the worst pizza. They shouldnt even be allowed to call in pizza. They are a disgrace to Americans everywhere.
>>28523881
Of course I can't overlook the pure shit that is new York style either. They took Italian style 'pizza' and somehow made it worse.
fruit facts = pure game
>>28522096
>Hawaiian BBQ
Jesus Christ
>>28524363
I went to trivia night and the guys I was with thought it odd I knew about pectin and shit. That's no way to thank the man who carried the team :c
>>28519696
Kys cuckboi
>>28517514
>Most of them will be enjoying their slices and I kind of want to 'smash' my slices against theirs as a sort of bonding game
are you an alien dude
OP how did it go?
>>28517514
I think anything you do at this point will make you come off as an autist
