>yfw you realized the depression train never stops
no matter what I do, no matter what goals I'm able to accomplish, I'll always be emotionally dead
>>28517360
tell me about depression
how does it exactly feel like?
I eventually came to the realization that even though it's literally never going to go away, it's still worth the endless amount of effort required to try anyways. At least it generally comes and goes in waves so it sucks a little less occasionally.
>>28517367
basically a deadening of any sort of positivity
doesn't necessarily feel painful or like negative emotions are more intense, but you strip yourself of all positive energy you get really intimate with your negative thoughts
I once thought "the ride never ends" was a joke. it's no joke, it's life.
>>28517367
Kind like laying in bed when you have to wake up because your alarm is going off and you have shit to do but you just want to go back to sleep.
Except that's how you feel about everything.
>>28517482
>>28517536
and what do you think caused
>>28517482
*but if
depression makes you a retard also
the whole "sad genius artist" thing where people think all these people like Schopenhauer or Brian Wilson were only able to make sad works of art because they were depressed is basically bullshit. depression is an illness that deadens mental energy, not a big dramatic artsy intellectual experience. people who are competent and accomplish things while having a shitty outlook on life aren't depressed, they're healthy and functioning people with a shitty outlook on life. depression is basically just a disease that happens to people. it's not "advanced" sadness or some powerful emotional state, and there's nothing in it that you haven't felt before
probably
>>28517673
>and what do you think caused
it
I use to love being alone, but I did something that made me hate myself and now I constantly want to kill myself. Whenever I do have fun, my mind tells me "you'd be having much more fun if you didn't do that one thing" and then I stop having fun. There's no escaping this hell unless I die.
>>28519053
What was it, famalampai?
it will never end, until I end it.
My depression is turning into wanting to kill
>>28519280
need a partner? (this is a joke fbi)
>>28519167
I accidentally shot and killed my mother
>>28517482
Negative emotions are actually less intense in my experience
The problem is all emotions are almost non-existent
>>28517367
It just feels like everything is fucking pointless
>>28517367
I can speak on what it feels like to be suicidal at least. You feel like you're being cornered or trapped and that there is nothing you can do to get away. You feel like killing yourself and being dead is better than the ridiculously terrifying feelings that you're having. For me, it was always some sort of death-anxiety, ironically. It's always something very irrational.
>>28519908
posl originat
>>28520088
I tell the doctor and stuff that I find everything pointless and no point in anything and they just say oh well we can't give you motivation. I thought they were suppose to help
>>28519979
This. No emotions and static noise for thoughts
>>28517725
It's the old correlation/causation confusion. It's not that the mental illness (or drugs for that matter) ever made these people make better art. There's just a high correlation with certain personality types to be more creative.
They're creative regardless of their issues, their issues can just make their work slightly more interesting. People are driven by emotions and social connection, if you're completely numb and isolated from those around you then you observe more and can approach perspectives slightly different. It's not mystical or super complex and deep, just alot of psychological parallels and correlations between similar people/behaviours/environments.
>>28517360
Take venaflaxine ya dummy.
