Can someone explain to me why being completely open and honest with a woman hasn't worked out for me? Is it a bad way to approach someone, I don't know any other way and I hate bullshitting. I wouldn't want someone to lie to me just to be charming so I never want to do it. But somehow being honest just doesn't work.
Since some of these attempts were online and they didn't even know how I looked I'm going to go ahead and assume I must have an awful personality. How the fuck do you even fix that?
Women assume everyone is bullshitting. If you're open about your flaws, they'll think you're just terrible at hiding them,
>>28499484
you are desperate and going after whores
>why being completely open and honest with a woman hasn't worked out for me?
Because it doesn't work for anyone.
It doesn't even work for Chad.Chad lies through his teeth to get what he wants.
Understand this: Everything you're raised to believe about how to get a girl is wrong. Not only wrong, but more often than not, the exact opposite of the truth.
Good honest gentlemen don't got laid. Liars and thugs get laid.
ur poor
>>28499484
I think women love bullshit and would rather be lied too. She'd rather be lied to by a hot Chad and told what she wants to here than ever have some non-Chad be honest with her.
And then complains about people lying and guys "trying to get in her pants" even though she flat out rejects straight honesty on the matter. A lot of our problems with girls COULD be solved if they would allow us to be honest and open with them. But that's not going to happen, it creates maximum drama and bullshit which is their goal it seems.
>>28500426
Shit I've known Chad-type guys who went they got all nice and romantic, the girl dumped them. When they confessed to her, what the tell me, that their crazy about her... they cheat on him.
It's ridiculous. You're right, not even Chad's immune to this.
>>28499484
You can be honest without being blunt.
Were you being blunt?
>>28500647
Well I dunno. Maybe occasionally. Online it can be harder to get your point across. But I'm never in an aggressive stance. Hmm come to think of it I do tend to stick to my guns a little hard sometimes. Maybe you're on to something.
>>28499484
Life is built around bullshitting. If you're honest you'll lose every time.
>>28500799
Tell that to Ned Stark! Oh wait.
It depends on what you mean by 'completely open and honest'. I never bullshitted any woman I was with, and I have a GF of four years. But I also didn't go babbling about every insecurity I have, or whatever. It is definitely possible, and not a problem, to be honest in a relationship.
>>28500882
he brings up a good point, you're not being clear on the context
what are you being "open and honest" about?
I just realized this just recently. Being honest won't get you anyware, you are too vulnerable.
Even mid to low tier girls will dump you if you are too open and honest.
Women are too insecure about themselves. Probably they see honest dudes too good to be true, too easy, that they resort to honest, goodhearted dudes when they can't get anything else (aka the settle down/cannot slut around anymore phase).
In my case, I tried to date a chick from college a month ago. She's not that pretty, not that bright, I offered help, counsil, so she doesn't fail in the career, or at least be aware of tha awaits her.
It kinda worked, I asked for her phone number, and she give it to me right away.
Good, but on our first date of sorts, when I confessed my feelings, she backed off with sorry ass excuse that not even a toddler would believe. Picture this: a woman in her late 20's, still living with her parents, jobless at the moment, and she's grounded, she can't party anymore, let alone date a guy.
Take it with a truckload of salt.
I tried my best to convince her to fix her problems, even if it's for her own good. Guess what, she's too insecure and afraid of doing so.
Maybe, if a Chad asked her to do so, she would not hesitate to do it.
I'm not a bad looking guy. Socially awkward, but when the ice is broken I'm super talkative, witty and goodhearted.
Even so, this somewhat unsavory bitch dumped me. I hate that.
The worst thing is that in her classroom, she has a lot of Chads surrounding her.
I feel like shit.
>>28499484
>>28500647
This anon has the right of it. Total honesty requires time, and a gradual deepening of trust over a long period. Allowing another person to feel secure with you does require bullshitting AT FIRST, and only to a certain extent.
Generally, people will be as honest as you allow them to be. If they feel like they can "tell you anything", that encourages communication and will let them trust you more. Think of a conversation like an open field; if you section off parts of it as off limits, this creates a feeling of trepidation in the other person. They don't know if other areas are off limits as well and won't roam as freely.
If you stick to your guns a bit much, this might be where your sticking point is. Adopting the stance of being certain of your position discourages another person from expressing themselves freely. A possible solution is to encourage the other person to explain why they believe what they believe, in a way that doesn't judge their ideas as being wrong or right.
Something as dumb as Astrology, for example. Objectively it's nonsense, but someone who believes it might have an interesting story about why they believe it. Your golden question is "Why?" Why do they think that? Why does it interest them? Also "How?" How did they learn about it? How do they interpret it?
>>28501061
>on our first date of sorts, when I confessed my feelings
Classic robot logic attempt to minimise how utterly damaging doing this is.
Never do this. You are not 14 and this will NEVER go down well.
Nobody is unappreciative of honesty, but your inability to understand when honesty is appropriate and how much to reveal is what fucks robots over.
>>28499484
People like to play make believe and think that people who lie to them about their intentions are actually nice people with hearts of gold. Anyone who lays everything out is labeled as a douchebag, and from there it only works if you're chad, if you're average or below you're blown off even worse than before.
>>28501061
>I feel like shit.
Good. That means you're a real person with real feelings. Nothing to be ashamed of. Take what you've learned and move on to the next when it stops hurting. Seriously. The only way you can truly fuck yourself over is by deciding it's not worth to play anymore. That's a black hole that can pull you in and never spit you back out. There's no guarantee you'll meet someone that likes you next or ever but if you stop trying you might as well be dead.
What do you mean too open and honest OP? Because if you go on and on how your insecure or afraid then yeah no shit women will dump you. Weakness in any form is an instant turn off for women.
>>28501642
>if you go on and on how your insecure or afraid then yeah no shit women will dump you
correct
>Weakness in any form is an instant turn off for women
incorrect
Being able to open up from time to time about your problems is a sign of a healthy relationship. I don't constantly complain to my GF about my problems, but I've talked to her in the past about issues I'd been having, and she is always supportive and happy to be there for me.
>in before cuckposting
>>28501742
A healthy relationship isn't the first dates. Omegas literally believe it is ok to spill spaghetti from the outset
>>28501766
Of course, you should not be looking for emotional support on your first date. But a lot of people here have really fucked up views on relationships and I wanted to put it out there that it is OK and healthy, in a long-term relationship, to share your troubles with your partner. When you are just starting out, it's different, but I'm not advocating lying, either. Just be selective about what you reveal.
>>28501866
Nobody is saying it isn't healthy in a long term relationship. Do you understand the concept of context at all?
>>28502016
Tons of people on this board say exactly that, all the time. Lurk more.
This would be a fine tactic if you were truly an attractive, admirable man. Women would say "What a catch". More likely than not though you aren't admirable or attractive and so being real with women just lets them know early on that you're nothing special.
>>28500426
>Chad lies through his teeth to get what he wants.
I can confirm this. I had a Chad friend once. Literally nothing but bullshit came from his mouth when he talked to women.
>can someone explain
Stopped reading there. You will never be able to approach women and form meaningful relationships with them if you think interpersonal interactions have "explanation"
Theres this great article by Roosh about this
Guys want to from a connection, want to be open.. Even chads. But girls only want a perfect action hero and when a guy makes himself vulnerable girls think less of him
Its pretty sad desu
Honesty tends to be a novelty in a partner. Novelties work best for the already-attractive. No shortcuts.
