>normie wakes up
>'I need my coffee'
>fat fuck robot wakes up
>"i need muh soda"
>>28490353
>manchild wakes up
>'i need my tendies'
>>28490374
>robots are fat
>not skellys
>I wake up
>'no, please, don't leave me, drowsiness, please stay'
>>28490407
sure thing fatty
>neet wakes up
>goes back to sleep
>tfw you just bought some loose leaf black tea and can't wait to drink it this morning
Feels good man
>>28490457
Only failed normies are fat
>>28490494
so you're a faiIed normie?
>>28490453
This is every morning for me. It goes hand in hand with planning how I can cancel or postpone everything I'm supposed to do today before I even open my eyes.
>wake up
>open /r9k/
been like this for the past month
>>28490457
>>28490528
Look at this assertivefag. Seriously thinks robots are fat or baiting hard.
>wake up
>chug a pot of coffee
>still sleepy as shit
>keep drinking it all day
>feel almost normal
how people function without coffee is beyond me. I was even more worthless before I sold my soul to the caffeinated jew.
>neckbeard wakes up
>I need my gamerfuel
>>28490353
>Give them a lethal dose of morphine instead
>wake up
>begin immediately crying for a husky
Life is suffering
>wake up
>hit cigarette
>sip black coffee
>begin day
>>28490561
>>chug a pot of coffee
>>still sleepy as shit
>>keep drinking it all day
>literally doesn't do anything
>you wonder how people function without it
Coffee is a massive meme. It's effects are impossible to notice unless you overdo it. If some wizard magically replaced everyone's coffee with a substance that tastes the same but has no properties at all, no one would notice.
>>28490626
>muhh smokebreak!
>drinking anything other than milk and water
>>28490457
Dude tonnes of us are skeletons desu
>>28490353
>'I need my coffee'
That's me every few hours.
>>28490641
>If some wizard magically replaced everyone's coffee with a substance that tastes the same but has no properties at all, no one would notice
So decaffeinated coffee?
>>28490543
Try 4 years, you fucking faggot. The ride never ends.
>>28490663
Fuck off fat ass
sdfas
>>28490665
>So decaffeinated coffee?
People can tell the difference sometimes.
>wake up
>grab a brush and put a littIe make up
Will someone draw me up a pregnant Feelina? my thread won't work otherwise. I'd do it myself but my mouse is fucked.
>>28490641
it literally does everything it's supposed to do tho. I just have low blood pressure and possibly depression. I need it to feel normal. before I started I was more fucked up.
And I developed a massive tolerance. sometimes I stop drinking it to go back to normal and the headaches are very real. I would most definitely notice decaffeinated coffee.
>wakes up
>I need my brains pork quesadilla
when i wake up i need a cigarette . first one i smoke in bed
>>28490680
>fat
Lol sure thing faggot
>>28490641
Maybe it is for you, but that doesn't mean it is for everyone. If I don't have coffee before my classes, I won't be able to concentrate at all. I once bought decaf accidentally and it only took me one cup to realize something was up. It's easy to feel the rush you get from caffeine.
>>28490797
lmao what the FUCK is wrong with your belly button?? And that mole next to it is gross af
Literally 3/10
>>28490799
>>28490775
Sorry fags, it's just a placebo effect
>>28490822
If your belly button doesn't look weird you're a normie and you need to get the fuck out. Also Im not fat. Fat people = failed normies.
True robots are skeletons and lanklets
>>28490826
science says otherwise mr neckbeard
>>28490882
please go the way of your leader, reddit
>wake me up inside
>(CAN'T WAKE UP)
original
>>28490822
Oath
Can sorta tell he's a sandnigger by his disgusting nipples too
>not knowing that coffee is the only way to get through the day as a normie
>>28490932
Not a sandnigger
>>28490797
that fucking writing.
>robot wakes up
>"I need my wank"
>robot goes back to sleep then
>>28490641
If I drink more than 3 cups I get antsy and jittery, it's very uncomfortable.
>>28490972
Its 2am and i've been drinking for the last 3 hours. Give me a fucking break.
>OP wakes up
>"I need dicks in and around my mouth and butthole"
>>28490641
This is untrue. It just depends how much caffeine you have. If you do not drink soda and have a single small coffee a day you will notice it each and every time. If you drink 3 coffees and 2 liters of soda a day it will not have an effect. Try going 2 weeks with no caffeine and then go take 200mg of caffeine
new banner request
>wake up
>put on a mug of hot water and brew a lovely, refreshing cup of jasmine green tea
>spray and moisturize my shoulder length curly black hair that has a couple of Royal blue highlights
>shove my balls up into my crotch and put on jeans
>sip my lovely jasmine green tea while reading and stretching, preparing body and mind for another day, another dollar
>give my girlfriend a kiss before heading out the door
>>28491079
THAT FUCKING MOLE
>manchild wakes up
>i need muh PC, muh 4chan
also, subhuman normie here. I used to pop caffeine pills in the morning, shit felt fucking awesome. mfw i was basically dancing in my car like an autistic down syndrome spastic to the niggermusic while speeding and shit,
>>28490353
ah coffee... sweet sweet sugarfree coffee.
if it wouldnt be for the tolerance i would drink it the whole day.
>wake up
>listen to chiru.no
>>28491081
Ew u have a gf get outc
>>28490797
Why the fuck are you on r9k when you have that body? You should be out at a beach pulling Stacy's.
>>28491326
>sugarfree
*tips fedora*
>>28490353
>robot wakes up
>I need my coffee
>>28491454
>coffee
>cocoa
>>28490602
I always enjoy finding your posts in new threads. I hope you get your husky one day.
Why would you intentionally drink something that makes you stressed?
>>28491543
u woeet nigga
not everyone has random anxiety like you. coffee only intensifies anxiety if there is anxiety/stress to begin with.
>>28491430
its because im at the point where i enjoy my misery
>*takes his rainbowdash fedora from his fedora collection with hundreds of rare fedoras*
its my life now.
>>28490353
>DUUUDE I LOVE COFFEE
>procees to buy an overpriced monstrosity full of milk, sugar, whipped cream, chocolate, and a small amount of instant coffee
>dude coffee lmao
You don't like coffee, you like coffee.desserts
>>28491532
Thanks anon, so do I.
at some point the coffee was for me like a cigarette,
i bought papercups of coffee from the vending machine, there was no option for sugar.
the coffe literally tasted like a cigarette.
>>28490602
Your post are like Easter eggs
>>28491759
Find 15 posts by me in 4 days to win a prize.
>>28490797
you look DYEL as fuck bro.
Coffe is just shitty meme tea. Anyone who says "lol need my cawfee in the morning ;p" instantly loose all of my respect. It honestly tastes just bland. it's not bad, but it's definitely not good either.
>Inb4 caffeine addicted druggies get mad at me for insulting their way of life, like stoners do when you tell them you don't smoke
Anyways, fruit/yogurt smoothie master race reporting in.
>>28491613
Enjoy that crash.
>mfw normies don't even realise that caffeine takes about 2 hours from being drunk to works its way through the digestive tract, then the blood, then do its stuff in the brain.
>they think the awake feeling they get straight after drinking isnt just from the hot liquid or cold carbonated beverage.
placebo
>>28490626
>smoker at work get fag breaks
>non smokers get to suck a dick
>>28490797
Being that skinny and having abs is like being an obese girl and having big boobs
I love coffee, especially the one from subway, it puts me in a great mood and is like stimulating the pleasure centre of my brain
>>28490973
too real, brother
>go to sleep
"ill just have one to help me sleep"
>wake up
"ill just have one to help me wake up"
>>28490353
>be me
>wake up again some time in the evening
>oh shit it's 5:30am
>can't find lighter anywhere
>walk to gas station
>dudeweedlmao.jpg
>>28491814
Yeah because I am. Was just proving I'm not fat
>>28491383
I'm skinny as fuck and also you can't even see my face. I wouldn't be getting any girls at a beach. Or anywhere else on earth.
>>28491986
Except that's bullshit.
Show me where it says that
>>28491079
looks like the cratered and scorched surface of Merucry in the background with the starry space on the right.
>>28490685
>someone tried to trick me into drinking decaf once
>I felt a little uneasy even walking toward it
>I gave it a sniff
>smelled like coffee
>didn't get the dopamine drop and warm feeling of 'yes anon, you are about to receive a temporary feeling of slight wakefulness and relief instead of the usual dull roar of tired aching throughout your body'
>"is this fucking decaf?"
I can tell every time
>>28490353
Caffeine just makes my tremor and my anxiety worse
Feels bad
>>28492052
45 minutes then
http://www.caffeineinformer.com/caffeine-metabolism
>>28491970
>losing the respect of a robot
>preferring to spend ~$5 on fruit to get a glass of juice (even more if you're a faggot who just buys smoothies from a store/cafe)
Yogurt's good though, I'll give you that. Especially greek yogurt.
>>28492121
>Caffeine easy passes through body membranes so from the first sip the caffeine is entering your bloodstream through the lining of your mouth, throat, and stomach.
>>28490561
Get your proper vitamins you massive retard, your body can't metabolize energy properly. Otherwise see a doctor if that doesn't work
>>28492052
Biology bro. The caffeine in the coffee needs to be broken down by your stomach acids, and then it goes through your intestines to be absorbed. Do you think that your body can work that fast that you get high halfway through drinking your coffee?
>>28491986
It takes 20 minutes for effects to start taking place, 40 minutes for complete blood saturation of whatever you drank, and you get an immediate slight rush through contact with your mouth and esophagus blood vessels. It diffuses through your digestive tract immediately, nutrients and the like are what are held back for 2 hours in the stomach.
>>28492143
yes, and whats the line below that?
>>28492096
Dude anyone can. Caffeine has physical effects and if you drink coffee regularly you're gonna notice when it's missing.
The aspies on this board can't handle even the most mild psychoactives, cause of their condishuns and anexiety.
>>28492172
The line below that does not negate this line
It just says that 99% of the coffee will be absorbed after 45 minutes
It does not say that it only gets absorbed after 45 minutes
Don't meme on me mate
>>28492130
I just make my own smoothies, it's easy. When you buy fruit in bulk it's really not that expensive. I guarantee you I'm saving a lot more money then normies who visit starbucks every morning.
>>28492207
It takes longer than people think. Its just placebo anyway
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17146324
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18350573
>hating coffee
>drinking coffee in any other way except black
It tastes delicious and if you're autistic enough, it's fun to perfect different brewing methods.
>>28492156
Shut the fuck up and show me a source for 2 hours.
All these anti-coffee fags and their assumption that drugs affect everyone exactly the same.
>uninformed opinions as facts
>i heard something is bad and refuse to think objectively about it
>caring about what others ingest when it doesn't harm anyone but the ingestor
>being a fecal based lifeform
Capture says select the candy. Imagine prize of candy exiting through DVD drive.
>no USB powered Skittle dispenser
I informed my friend of this oversight of computer architecture and he said "yet...".
Meth is a hella of a drug.
>>28492274
I take you as posting other sources as conceding
Especially because both links don't say anything about the time it takes for caffeine to work
>i wake up
>pour glass of vodka
>>28490581
Monster is for normies. Neckbeards and NEETs would drink Venom or Rip It, $.99 energy drinks.
>>28490826
What? A withdrawal headache isn't "just in your head". You can be addicted to caffeine, just like other drugs, retard.
>>28492156
>The caffeine in the coffee needs to be broken down by your stomach acids, and then it goes through your intestines to be absorbed.
t. someone who failed high school biology classes
>>28490641
The awful withdrawal headache would be quite noticeable. That's why people need coffee in the morning, to prevent the headache
>>28490544
>>28490457
think about what you guys are arguing over for a second
>>28492402
rip it's are pretty good since some have vitamin c and shit
>I can't function without my coffee!
Pathetic
>>28492712
>i can't function without my mountain dew!
Sigh
>>28490582
Kekkididdlydeedoo
>>28491972
You only crash if you're a sloppy piece of shit. Turbonormies like me just revert to normal.
>>28490353
It's called a "substance dependence".
>>28493319
Its called ance ants
>>28490826
Nice scientific evidence
>>28490900
>not believing everything posted on a fucking meme imageboard makes you *something name*
Literally how normalshits talk. Fuck off normie.
>be NEET
>still drink half pot of coffee a day
>pissing and shitting constantly
>shaking like a leaf
Feels bad, but not as bad as when I stop.
>>28493589
Iktf but with coke/pepsi instead
I shake all the time and I know caffeine is responsible. I piss like every hour or so.
>>28493683
Only Diet Coke and diet Dr. Pepper make me have to shit. Any other, even the regular versions if these, don't make me have to.
>I wake up
>I need my caffeine pill
Why spend money on coffee when you can spend 10 bucks for 100 pills, 200 milligrams of caffeine each?
>>28494315
>ten bucks for 20 grams
lol
do you enjoy getting scammed?
you can get like ten kilos for a hundred bucks
>>28494315
Plug the pills up in your ass, robot. You'll get way better effect. Not to mention the dollar per caffeine mg ratio.
Norms wouldn't understand, but fuck em.
>>28494374
not him
but mostly not in pill form
it is either
a) powder so harder to dose/a strain because you have to mix it into a drink rather than popping a pill
b) some shit from amazon/ebay which is mostly fake (yes, there are fake-products even on amazon even when it says sold and sent by amazon) like less dosage or just guarana shit
>>28494315
>>28494401
>>28494401
i am also a fan of caffeine pills, since I'm this normalshit:>>28491103
but i'm just saying, you cant really compare coffee with caffeine pills. caffeine pills is just the caffeine (plus something to keep the pill together obviously). coffee is caffeine and severe other substances such as anti oxidant. caffeine itself is oxidative. when you take your caffeine pills, there is nothing to compensate the stress you are putting on your body. with coffee you at least get some anti oxidants.
i am not saying that coffee is healthy, but probably way healthier than caffeine pills.
all that being said is till dont really care and dont drink coffee and instead take caffeine pills.i have, howevere, had serious heart problems once when i did fuckloads of caffeine. turned out my heart was sore. why? because caffeine increases your inflammatory levels. what can you do to prevent this? take anti oxidants. which is why coffee is thebetter source of caffeine.since i drink tee (green tea and ginger tea) my heart has significantly improved even though i didnt alter my lifestyle/caffeine pill intake
>>28494542
>powder so harder to dose
lol
you weigh it in and dump it into hot water
what's hard about that?
>which is mostly fake
Buy off the companies selling to labs, then.
>>28494602
>have to get out scale
>need to make sure scale is exact
>have to prepare drinks if you want to go somewhere (or put out your scale and weight it on the go and mix a drink)
>drinks tend to be more bitter when they are highly caffeinated which is also why energy drinks have fuckloads of sweeteners, to mask the taste
yeah it is not particularly hard, but as I said popping pills is just easier. if you can be assed to weight and dose your shit every time then so be it. i will just pop my pill.
>companies selling to labs
and how can you be sure they are selling to labs and not just some shitty advertisement move (le we sell to labs)?
your best bet is to get caffeine pills from the pharmacy. seriously how much of a poorfag do you have to be for them to be too expensive
>>28494401
go back to Red.dit, ninjabunny86
>>28493683
>piss several litres a day
>don't drink enough water to rehydrate
>>28493683
uhm, no, you fucking retard. Coke/pepsi has such small amounts of caffeine that's impossible. you most likely have Diabetes.
>>28494645
>and how can you be sure they are selling to labs and not just some shitty advertisement move (le we sell to labs)?
By knowing what else they have in stock.
If they sell highly carcinogenic organic solvents, they sure as hell aren't in the food business.
>seriously how much of a poorfag do you have to be for them to be too expensive
i dunno senpai
I also use laboratory-grade salt for my food
shit isn't cheap
I trust chemical suppliers, since they have to deliver their products at a certain standard and purity
>>28494702
How do you know his Reddit name?
>>28490353
>OP wakes up
>'I need my semen'
>>28494793
ok then if dealing with powder is not a hassle for you. i couldnt be arsed to do this. sometimes i just want to pop a pill while rolling around in muh whip BANGIN TUNES
WE RAN UP THEM WAGES WE RAN UP SOME MONEY
WE RAN UP THEM WAGES WE RAN UP SOME MONEY
WE RAN UP THEM WAGES WE RAN UP SOME MONEY
damn it feels GOOD to be a normalshit, fuck
>easy as shit job
>big money
>drive fast car
I'm the biggest fuckign normalshit pleb u could possibly imagine AND I FEEL FUCKING AWESOME
>>28494846
you can just eat the damn power and chase it with water
also, you should be able to measure out 500mg using your eyes
>>28494876
>you can just eat the damn power and chase it with water
damn sounds nasty. and it would still be a hassle to do this while driving
>you should be able to measure out 500mg using your eyes
your caffeine is either not pure caffeine or your tolerance is so high that you are going to get serious side effects soon if you dont stop. seriously, just do real drugs at this point. caffeine is nice when taken in normie amounts and especially as coffee, but fuckloads like that.... seriously you might as well take meth. infact, methamphetamine in a similarly stimulating intensity will have less side effects than the caffeine.
>>28494919
500mg is roughly a double dose.
go rent a mass spectrometer and do some chemical analysis on coffee you brew yourself.
you'll find between 50mg and 250mg per dose of coffee depending on method and coffee used.
>>28490353
God, I hate that phrase. It makes you sound like a fucking pretentious cunt.
"Like, don't talk to me before I get my coffee, dude!"
>wakes up
>screams
>family is used to it
>>28490675
Let's make that double boyo
theres nothing wrong with wanting coffee at morning. energy drinks are for manchildren. i get headaches if i dont get any caffeine into me
pic related is best coffee, its made by swedish roastery tho
>>28494919
No.
What makes caffeine so special is that it's fundamentally harmless. unless you overdo it ridiculously, like having a pill for each kilogram.
>>28495165
The Swedish are world-renowned masters of filling their mouths with warm black material
t. Geographical historian
>>28494969
>250mg per cup
bullshit. 500mg is a fuckload. the recommended maximum once dosage of caffeine pills (in the instructions of the pills) is half a pill (100mg). only in high tolerance a whole pill. you should never exceed 400mg per day. and i dont know how much you weight but I'm 80kg and 200mg has strong effect for me. 3 days of abstinence for me are enough to make it really strong.
>wake up
>wish i never woke up
>highly tuned microchip wakes up
>I need my almond milk acai fruit MCT oil kale infused smoothie
>>28490641
Honestly if you aren't used to drinking soda everyday yes it does what it's supposed to
>>28495177
>What makes caffeine so special is that it's fundamentally harmless unless you overdo it
lol really? you can say the same about any other drug. you realize that literally children are being prescribed amphetamines and take that shit for years with no damage no negative side effects whatsoever? the thing is that considering how high amounts you faggots take, especially considering that you take it AT ONCE, suggests you are seeking the stimulation. sure, you might get quite some stimulation out of that but as I've said caffeine has stronger side effects whereas with other drugs (IF it's really just that drug and not pipe cleaner and other shit used to create it) you might get a similar stimulation with less heart-related side effects. that's also why drugs like meth can give you a psychosis. before you are able to get a psychosis with caffeine, you will die from heart failure instead.
caffeine makes your body consume more magnesium and ontop of that secrete more of it too. you might not get negative side effects now, but once your magnesium storages are depleted, along with a bunch of other body-related problems, you will get those negative side effects. and then you really gotta pull yourself together in order to "cure" yourself, possibly having to abstain from caffeine forever.
>>28490822
it's like a portal to another dimension
>>28490797
kek when you got the 9 the wrong way round, why didn't you just turn the post it over and try again. kill yourself norman
>>28495177
This
>Mfw I'm extremely sensitive to caffeine
When I'm using caffeine pills once or twice a week instead of daily, the effects I get are the best thing ever
>feel super energetic
>extremely creative
>feel happy instead of feeling like shot
>feel motivated
If only caffeine addiction wasn't a thing
>>28490958
that's exactly what a sandnigger would say.....
