>>28477280
no but iv'e had it for about 4 years straight, been suicidal for over a year and a half

Yeah mane. I was feeling really intense and in control for a week before crashing just a few days ago. So yeah, the general sadness comes and goes, deeper one is always there. Just a bit less crushing at times.

>>28477330
I'd really urge you to seek help if you haven't.

>>28477330
half a year for me, when will it just end?

>>28477351
i just went to a therapist last week for first time ever, dont think its going to help much

The worst part about it however is that now that short break of happiness feels like a lie and that i never really beat depression in the first place.

Feels bad man.

>>28477399
iv'e had it for so long it just feels normal, and been suicidal for so long i don't care about things so much because i feel like i can just end it whenever. so when i feel happy it doesn't really replace the depression it just kinda feels like part of it
somehow this makes the depression more bearable

>>28477607
Thats really sad dude. I hope you will get better someday.

>Does this happen to anyone else, where it goes away and then comes back?

Yes, but usually within the course of a day or two. It just takes something to happen for me to realize the pointlessness and futility of all my effort in life and the existential dread comes flooding in and i just wanna off myself

No. Depression doesn't exist

>spend the past two months exercising and losing weight
>become more depressed somehow

The more crushing depression comes and goes for me but the inner feelings stay