>22yrs old
>no social life save for one friend I've had for 15yrs
>aside from him, therapy 2-3x a week is my only human contact
>other friend is my dog
>trying to get a job but it's going well
>tfw best friend is leaving at the end of the month until fall
>tfw dog just got diagnosed with cancer
>tfw both of my friends will be gone before the month is out
>tfw when my friend normally leaves I still have my dog
>tfw when my pets have died I've had my friend be there for me
>tfw it will just be me
>tfw best friend is the closest thing I've had to an actual boyfriend
this shit sucks so much, when I feel down I either have my dog to cheer me up, or my best friend to make me feel better. My dog is always happy, so that just kinda rubs off. My best friend will give me a shoulder to lean on, or we'll get dinner and a movie, or go /out/ together, plus his hugs are super comforting and I always feel safe and happy with him. How the fuck am I going to deal with losing both of them one after the other? I don't have any other friends, I'm probably not gonna get a job soon, therapy is only 3-4 hours a week, and I just got over the brunt of depression. I don't want to slip back but this is just a lot to handle at once.
Plus I have BPD, so rejection/abandonment hurts a fuckload more than what normal people feel, and I also have difficulty with relationships in general. I don't have friends because I'm legit psychotic/neurotic and the one guy who can tolerate it is leaving me, or not me specifically but he's going away for a few months and it feels like someone is twisting a knife in my chest just thinking about it. My dog doesn't understand human behaviour anyway, she's always going to be my friend but that doesn't matter if she dies.
What do I do? The ideas I have aren't good, last time I didn't want to leave my friend I drove my car into his shed so I'd have an excuse to spend time with him. He said he'd fix it himself tho, so I still had to go visit my family. My ideas suck
>>28476440
Piss off, roastie
Oregano
>>28476578
>Oregano
u wot
>>28476440
do you like your best friend romantically? sounds like you do.
>>28476656
yeah, but I think he might fancy me a little bit too. like he just kind of pushes what would be normal between two friends a little bit, but I'm not sure if that's just him, or BPD distorting things, or something other than him being into me. He just left his gf because he's going to be out of the state for several months, but we're still making plans to get dinner and a movie this week and probably camping or hiking before he leaves.
It hurts seeing him leave, it hurts knowing I'm going to miss him, but what hurts the most is that I don't know if he'll me miss me the same way I miss him. I don't want to jeopardize what's been the only stable relationship I've ever had in my life by pursuing a romantic relationship over our current platonic one.
totally megaoriginal supercalifragilistic niggers
bumppu
>friend for 15 years
He's not just going to forget about you or stop being your friend. All this means is that:
1.) You need more people to hang out with one way or another.
2.) Try to spend more time with the guy when he's back.
And, for that last line, I'm kind of like that myself. I'd think it would be easy for me to fall in love with someone who's a close friend and stuff, but at the same time wouldn't want mess up a friendship because of that. I have virtually no experience with life and stuff (not more than a can of Coca Cola) so I'm not sure how much I can really say. What I will say is that although everyone is different, I wouldn't imagine anyone abandoning a friend of 15 years because they like them.
>>28477738
that is true I guess. I've tried reaching out and making friends but I'm too insecure and emotionally volatile for it to have worked ever.
I do try and spend time with him, it's just recently he's been fairly busy. He's finishing up school, he's the captain of a sports team, he had a gf up until a few days ago, etc. And I do doubt he would abandon me, but if he knew just how much I care about him it might make things weird somehow.
And I feel horrible for even thinking this, but I wish my dog would kick the bucket before he leaves just so I can have his support in person. I love my dog, but she is getting old and either way she was gonna die in the next few years. My best friend is gonna be around for the long haul, I just want to be with him every step of the way and it hurts to see him go, even if only for a few months
