What made you fail in life, anons?
Family? Grades? Drugs? Depression?
And what do you want to do now? Move on? How?
I never really "failed". I'm 23 and have tons of life ahead of me and my life has been at a gradual incline while allowing me to relax and enjoy my hobbies. It feels great to be an upper middle class white male.
>>28474375
So... What's the point of being here on r9k?
Poor parenting.
That's the foundation for who I am now, a broken piece of shit.
Family by faaaaar... And then depression
>>28474416
Yeah. That fucking sucks. I was raised by a bipolar single mother. It's so fucking bad.
the left looks better
fuck the sun
also, i don't know what made me fail
i guess a combination of fucked up family, environmental circumstances and being an annoying fucking idiot from birth until depression and getting bullied 24/7 finally crushed my obnoxious autistic attitude and self-awareness turned me into a quiet shell transforming me into a far better person but far too late because now i'm a failure who can only daydream about turning back time or being reincarnated
time passes no matter what you do and for me the world moved on without me, there is no moving on and there's nothing i want to do now but watch anime and sleep
social anxiety mostly
>>28474441
But we can't continue like this for ever, can we?
The path to success leads through the storm.
Failure is the easy option where you just bask in the sun and do nothing.
Grades mostly and a small part of my family.
>tfw dropped out at 16
>tfw family never got me the help I needed
>tfw didn't get my GED until I turned 24
>tfw struggling to get any decent jobs now
>>28474441
>transforming me into a far better person but far too late because now i'm a failure who can only daydream about turning back time or being reincarnated
this. By the time you are even aware of your flaws it's too late. It was always too late.
I want to become successful so I can help other NEETs.
>>28474409
Because browsing various 4chan boards is a particular hobby that allows me the detached social being I crave to have. Why /r9k/ in particular? I'm not sure. It's just an interesting perspective to take in and I find a lot of the satire to be pretty funny. Some people here really need to just relax and stop chasing that materialistic "game" they're so bitter over losing
>>28474557
You're just here to make people jelly.
>>28474465
i don't think about the future anymore
so the answer is yes
>>28474337
>bullying
>isolation
>constant failing in everything i did
>parents that only cared for favorite child
pick your poison, lad
my rotten brain i guess
>>28474579
I want so much to leave this ugly life.
>>28474557
>satire
People like you ruined this board
>>28474576
But I don't have what most robots want. I don't have a gf. I am not sexually active. I have a low paying job (albeit one I love) and I live with my parents.
All I have is my outlook, and right now it tells me that life is enjoyable so long as you know what to enjoy and how to avoid what doesn't bring you joy.
>>28474659
Okay then. But please don't mention how sucessful you are again.
>>28474658
There was never a board to ruin. /r9k/ has always been an everchanging enigma. It's not my fault everyone takes all the "normies, chad, and stacies" shit for real because they're deeply insecure and don't realize their hearts and minds are being controlled by a psychopathic world view.
>>28474689
But I'm remarkably unsuccessful by many people's standards. I'm just successful by my own standards because I know how to control my view of the world.
>>28474441
i feel exactly the same friendo
at least you're not alone...if you're being serious
>>28474723
You are also sucessful in the eyes of the people here.
Also:
>my life has been at a gradual incline while allowing me to relax and enjoy my hobbies. It feels great to be an upper middle class white male.
Please don't post this sort of thing.
>>28474422
this is my answer as well anon
can't do much about the first but finally at least trying to get help with the second
Mostly because of bullying. But also neglectful parents who only paid attention to my brother and pretended that I didn't exist.
>>28474337
>be in elementary school
>be a little awkward
>middle school starts
>begin acting progressively more autistic
>become brony
>later realize how autistic i'm being
>still awkward as fuck
why won't it end, /r9k/?
No confidence. Part my height, but I also blame my parents. I look at other people and see how they're constantly encouraged by their parents, but I never had any of that. We don't even have conversations in my family.
>>28474723
So why brag about being happy in a place filled with sad people?
You may not think you're a normie, but you're sure acting like one.
>>28474931
This.
I'm not even mad at the guy, I think it's wonderful he is happy.
But bringing that to r9k is bound to make some of the folks feel even worse.
How old are you guys?
How do you cope?
>>28475339
>how old are you guys?
i'm 24
>how do you cope?
i don't, honestly. i'm constantly feeling like shit and i don't feel like it's going to end.
>>28474883
well, you chose to delve into the realm of MLP, so in essence you brought misery upon yourself
>>28475339
20. How do I cope? I don't. The loneliness is only getting worse.
>>28475379
>i don't, honestly. i'm constantly feeling like shit and i don't feel like it's going to end.
I guess at some point we will need to do something.
What do you want to do in the future?
I'm thinking about taking my life.
>>28475406
I'm 20 too. I wish I could go back to being 15.
>>28474337
Complete lack of desire for anything. Life is easy if you want things, you just figure out how to get them then execute the plan.
How do you want things, though?
>>28475430
>I wish I could go back to being 15.
Same. Ever since high school all has been shit.
>>28475430
i'm considering suicide too. my suicidal thoughts have been around for quite a while but recently it's been getting worse
Grades and depression.
I always wanted to be some sort of academic as a kid, but I could never bring myself to do well enough in school.
>And what do you want to do now? Move on? How?
That's what I;m trying to figure out. I still fantasize about going to some fancy school and doing well there. I know I have to face the facts eventually, but I just don't know how to do it.
>>28475448
There were things I could've done differently and these things would've lead to a completely different and happier path.
>>28475456
Suicide is dificult to accomplish. If you fail, it could make your life even worse.
This is what scares me the most about suicide.
>>28475503
me too, i can't imagine how shitty it would feel to wake up in a fucking hospital after a failed suicide attempt.
Drugs. Graduated college with a shit degree and no real post-graduation plans. Decided to "take a year off" and became a binge-drinking stoner.
My girlfriend at the time sensed the change and broke up with me. 3 years later I'm still hating myself for that. And now I'm stuck in the same unskilled labor job I've had since I was 16, getting drunk and/or high almost every night, and inching ever closer to death.
>>28475522
Yep. I tried to commit suicide in 2013.
Spent ~35 days in the hospital. I don't think I have ever experienced anything as bad as staying all that time in the hospital.
>>28475526
What degree?
>>28475569
English. Specifically literary theory and criticism. Turns out they don't make Literary Theory factories and the Internet is saturated with freelance "writers" that make my writing little more than a drop in the ocean.
I want to be a science writer because that's the closest to STEM I'll ever be and it actually pays well if you're not shit. But nobody's hiring. And nobody in the science community wants some no-name SquareSpace writer interviewing them about complicated shit.
>>28474755
This. Please refrain from stating the obvious. Some of us would like some surprises in life please.
>>28475632
But you are some steps ahead of the guys here.
I mean, I haven't even finished high school.
I'm sure you can figure something out.
>>28474441
Are you me?
Couldn't describe it better
>>28475339
25, mostly video games and junk food. Junk food has gotten pretty bad, getting really fat.
Thinking about getting a job just so it stops me from eating all day but the only options at this point is shit like fast food or walmart, fuck either of them.
>>28474337
too much sex too early
life is nothing like junior high
>>28475795
There are quite a lot of people in similar situations...
There must be something we can do to lift ourselves from this godawful situation.
>>28475339
22
I don't. My future is prison, and I'm going to be trapped there.
>>28474337
>4 months ago
>land my dream job
>dad forces me to paint his room before I leave for my first day
>end up being late for my first day
>ask my dad if he can please drive me the ten minutes it takes since I painted his room like he wanted and he doesnt work so he has nothing else to do
>"no anon I cant be arsed"
>plead with him and tell him im going to be late for my first day
>"that's not my problem"
>literally leave the house and sprint to my work
>get run over by a car that went through a red light
>had to get my leg amputated below the knee
>no job, depressed, ill never walk the same way again
>dad threatening to kick me out
>>28475854
>My future is prison
Oh man, don't say that.
Why do you think you'll end up in jail?
>>28475858
No fucking way.
>>28475898
>Why do you think you'll end up in jail?
Meant to say my future is a prison. But I wouldn't be surprised if I end up there. I might end up homeless within the next few years.
>>28474883
Literally me the post
Except that when I became a brony, my autism began to decline.
Just laziness if it wasn't for that i would be smart afu but because i was so lazy, everything started to fall, apart
>>28474337
Didn't get /fit/ probably could've had it all. Women, money, everything I desired. But then, I was always an outcast. Through middle and highschool I was leagues ahead of my so-called "peers" and for that the ostracized me.
In the words of Elliot himself, "I was left to rot in bitter loneliness." Unlike him, I kept on going.
bad looks and lower class
fucked in the only things that matter in life
I haven't failed yet.
I've just been a failure for a prolonged period of time, but it could change.
No one can say they failed until they die. In the meanwhile, we're just failing temporarily.
>>28476062
>lower class
this sucks.
>>28474441
This, so much this
Originaldo
>>28476064
There's a point when you know that your dreams are out of reach. That's when you know you're a failure.
I didn't even fail. I just had no motivation to succeed and everything just evetually fizzled away and I got left with nothing in my hands.
Failed when I was younger, got my shit back together by doing drugs, reading and getting into literary societies. Now I'm majoring in a subject I love, my family supports and appreciates me, I have a lot of friends and find it easy to make others provided I can bullshit my way through their defenses, my writing is lauded by my professors and probably going to end up in a couple magazines, tonight I will read some continental philosophy about Occult Archeology, watch a couple pro DotA2 games and then cuddle up to sleep beside my girlfriend.
You can do it, robots.
>>28475339
> How old are you guys?
33
> How do you cope?
I don't.
I'm willing to try having a tulpa. If also this will fail, probably I'll be an hero
>>28476127
Oh, man. Good job. I'm happy for you!
>>28476127
I really wish I could get my life on track and make lots of money.
Then I would travel around the world and meet some of the folks from r9k and help them get through these times of hardship.
All of those
To be quite original familiares
>>28476109
Dreams change, anon. They're dictated by emotion. You don't even know if your dreams are truly what will make you happy.
Chad wanted to be an astronaut when ye was a kid. Doesn't mean he's a failure. Stop dreaming of going to the moon.
>>28475846
I wish I knew anon but I fear it's too late for a lot of us.
>>28476357
You're 25, right? It isn't too late. There must be something we can do.
>>28475632
I know those feels
Im studying journalism tho
>You will know other people like you in college anon :^)
This is hell
>>28476367
I've already failed out of uni. I can't afford it again. What else is there for me?
>>28476315
I don't think anything short relative greatness will satisfy me. Me friends and family are getting what I want out of life for themselves. Why can't I do it?
>>28476411
Can you move to another country? With free education?
>>28474337
>2015
>Failing at lots of things
>Last years exams went pretty poorly
>Shitty relationship with parents
>Get screwed over by people that run an extra-curricular activity I've been doing for 5 years
>Love this activity, have friends in it and thought I was good at it
>Realise that's not the case
>Everything's falling apart
>Somehow get place at my dream university to do physics even after very poor interview interview
>I can have a fresh start at uni, work towards my dream job of working at SpaceX
>Did really poorly in maths year before, need to improve my maths
>Physics is easy and I did really well in it year before
>Do ridiculous amount of work for maths
>Get really good at it
>Get best in school at the UKMT maths challenge
>Exams come around, maths exams went fine
>May be able to be happy again at university
>Work all summer at shitty job, but so excited for university I actually don't mind and am borderline happy
>Results day
>Got the maths grades I needed, but completely fucked up physics
>Have to go to different university
>No confidence left
>Can't talk to people at university
>failing all classes because I couldn't bring myself to do work
>drop out
>Been sitting at home since janurary, licking my wounds
>Become a recluse, leave the house for only driving lessons
>can't convince myself that there's anything worth doing
I know it's all within the last year, but I just can't see any circumstance that's going to make me happy again.
>>28476231
>>28476256
Find something you love, turn it into a social activity - careful not to consume it in the process, keep it for yourself at its core - keep at it, talk with people,et yourself be talked to - don't view your social interactions solely by /r9k/ lenses.
Keep doing this and you'll get better mentally, then you can change other parts of your life. Sorry for any clunkiness in my post, ESL.
>>28476445
How would that help? They aren't going to let me take part of their free education. The free education is for citizens, of certain ages too.
I never tried hard in school because I hated that shit, no one talked to me. I'm not doing anything with my life and everyone that graduated with me is doing shit, on the road to success. I'm nothing. I'm 19
I plan on leaving everything behind, family, "friends", car payment, everything. I plan on leaving to a different state but my plan is fucking up, I thought I would get my tax return in time but some shit came up. So I only have about 300$ to my name instead of the 900 I planned on leaving with. I still think I'm gonna leave next week, since greyhound has a special on tickets on Tuesday-Wednesday . I'm scared
>miraculously made it airforce infantry
>pussy my way out during boot because of depression
>when it dawned upon me how much i had fucked up, hit the bottle hard
>pack of smokes per day turned into 2, maybe more
>get cheated on by 2 year gf, proceed to terrorize her and the guy for about a month through stalking arson and bombmaking
>get fired from IT job I had also miraculously landed for drinking on the job and being involved in criminal affairs
>been drunk everyday from 11 AM on for about two weeks now
this shit is killing me and i can feel it, but i've failed so much I can't bring myself to care too much, everything just goes to shit
>>28476127
What are you majoring on?
>>28476463
I'll try that.
>>28476468
Start a new life... I feel like if I could move to another country and start again, I would definetely do better.
>>28476530
>Start a new life...
But where would I go? What would I do there? I'd be working shit jobs there too and be even more poor because I'd have no parents to live with and help me.
>>28474337
>What made you fail in life
Lack of self awareness due to autism that got me bullied and made a social outcast. When I realised it I developped social phobia. I went from a noncaring hyperactive kid to an introvert hiding behind a computer screen.
I'm just 19 years old so I guess it's not completely too late for me yet.
>>28476523
Philosophy. I love it, and statistically speaking job prospects aren't half bad but really, bu now I don't give a shit. There's a lot of things I can do to live a happy life, I'll manage to make at least one of them work out.
>>28476552
I've been thinking about the nordic countries.
Denmark or Norway.
Are you american? Shouldn't be too hard to get there.
Mental illness, parents divorce leaving us all in poverty, no support ("you want to do that? that's stupid, lower your expectations"), shitty adult role models.
You know, I can't think of a single adult in my life that really seems like a happy person. Everyone around me leads disappointing, miserable lives. I don't even know what happiness looks like on anyone anymore.
>>28474337
Depression after graduating took me down the path of failure. Falling ill and becoming paralysed made me lose the ambition to better myself or have a goal in life.
I'm only on the way to failing, but depression leading to drinking is what's fucking me up.
>>28474337
I'm 5'6.
If I was just a little taller I would be godly. Literally everything about me is perfect other than this.
please kill me
>>28476643
Oh, ffs. That's not a big deal.
>>28476661
t. 6'6 skelemaster anon
>>28476595
Thats nice
I was always the only one in my class on HS who understood philosophy, way above average grades.
I would have studied philosophy but i dont want to work as a teacher.
>>28474337
Ausent father, raised by mother. Being a manlet, being an introvert, divorce trauma, etc.
>>28476552
Exchange could work as well.
>>28476669
I'm 180cm.
My mom lost four babies before she had me.
When she had me, she over protected me.
She wouldn't let me play outside.
She moved us states away from the rest of our family.
I didn't meet any other kids until I started kindergarten.
I was very well spoken and odd by that time because my only friend was a 28 year old woman.
Couldn't relate to any other kids because of that.
I tried to make friends, but even when I thought it was workign out, my mom wouldn't let me go to their houses, and she wouldn't let them come over, so any would-be friends wound up thinking I was a stuck up cunt.
Never got to move past that.
Never made any familial bonds.
Mom got remarried a little before I hit puberty, and I stopped coming out of my room because I couldn't talk to him.
I'm really bad at talking to people because I've been so isolated, I don't know how to communicate normally, and even if I could, I'm shy to the point of fear around people.
Dropped out of high school because of bullying.
I couldn't focus on any of the work because I shared all but one of my classes with a boy who would beat the shit out of me when he got the opportunity.
I didn't tell anyone about him doing things to me because once I did, the vice principal I had gone to said, "Well look at you."
Didn't go outside for the first year after I dropped out.
Getting a job was too scary because of having to be around people.
Finally did get a job, a motor route, which is a paper route that is only given to adults because it's spread too far out to walk.
Walked it anyway because I don't know how to drive.
Had to quit because my mom had a fall out with the manager of the paper.
Started spending a lot of time in the woods, it's nice because no one goes out there.
Now I'm a lunch lady.
It should be an easy job, but I go in with- what I know is a ridiculous- unrelenting fear, because I know my boss is looking for any opportunity to get in my face and tell me what a worthless idiot I am.
blog post cont
>>28476685
post picture or feel free to stop lying on the internet faggot
>>28476685
180cm is not manlet. You say it's not of a big deal because you're not 5'4.
>>28476686
blog post cont
And the kids treat me like shit because they know I can't do anything about it.
I am surrounded by people every day.
I'm too stupid to go back to school.
My brain is too broken to make friends.
I think sometimes I am not really a person.
I spend a lot of time and sleep in the woods and I piss in the street out of spite.
>>28476696
Here's what I look like.
Hairy and fat as fuck.
>>28476707
Being short isn't a big deal.
Family issues, mental illness, social phobia, these things are big issues.
>>28476441
>Why can't I do it?
I don't know any better than you, but someday you'll find out and you wont be a failure anymore, then having been a failure all your life will have been worth it.
Or maybe you'll die a failure, who knows. You can't predict the future.
>>28476743
>family issues
>mental illness
>social phobia
literally every single one of these can be fixed. you can't change your height. commit suicide
i guess being quite all the time. getting bullied all the time.
>>28476743
You say it's not a big deal because you aren't a manlet. Height takes part on your confidence, and a big one if you're an introvert. You wouldn't know that because 180cm is not manlet status, so shut up.
I don't know. I suppose at some point I stopped trying, time went by and I just got 'comfortable' in this apathetic stage. I have tried, I have tried university multiple times but I always ended up failing classes and stopped going - it's not a case of picking a wrong major, because all of them were pretty similar; I have tried getting in shape, started running and got to a point I enjoyed it, lost 15kgs and got back in the normal BMI, but then I suddenly stopped enjoying it; I tried to find a job, went to multiple interviews and was rejected until the only thing that I wasn't was this shit job making costumer satisfaction enquiries on the phone, hated every second of it and was let go after 3 months, haven't been able to find anything since. I also failed my theory driving test twice.
I am 26 years old and no longer have dreams for myself. I could see myself working at some factory, doing the exact same thing for 8 hours a day/5 days a week and not have to think about stuff. I don't plan on having a family. I have no friends. I don't intend on killing myself, I'll just live day by day until something comes along or I just have an heart attack. They say that after the storm comes the calm, but I can't really see it.
>>28476802
Well, there is that. I guess it's about the way you look at it.
>>28476806
Well, I could turn around and say that you think height is a big deal when compared to the other problems I specified because you don't suffer from them.
>go to uni
>work my ass off year one and two and am about average in the class
>3rd final year rocks around, still working my ass off but now everyone else has gone into top gear trying to pass i get totally overtaken
>look like the class retard my work is so far behind
>retaking next year as my parents were so disappointed so i said i'd try again
>50+ grand of dept
>might fail again
>kill me.
>>28474337
I started to have a miserable life when I wanted to do something and my mom always would say "Don't do it, it's too dangerous".
At this moment I started to not have confidence with myself.
>>28476848
Short height is just as bad as those other problems, as they might be influenced by it. I was bullied because I was a manlet in HS. It made me develop social phobia and depression. So please don't talk about something you don't know about. Being a manlet can destroy your self-esteem.
>>28476994
Yeah... I'm sorry man.
I was a dick for trying to minimize your experience.
My bad. I wish you the best!
>>28477006
>minimize
I'm doing terrible in university and its my final chance study abroad, But i know for a fact that im going to completely fail. Then there is returning to my shitty third world country with no hope of finding a secure job or actually live in a safe environment. Depression is also another thing im going through which is making my shitty life even shittier.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and die
>>28477006
It's fine, everyone has their own problems.
>>28477038
Ahh, english isn't my native language. But I suppose you understood what I said, right?
>>28474337
My fear of failing made me fail.
>mfw
>>28477081
yes i thought you were making a manlet joke
>>28477132
No, no, I wasn't. Just shitty english.
>>28474441
I know the emotion.
>>28474337
shit parenting, shit genetics, and I'm a shitty person in general
>>28476720
>I spend a lot of time and sleep in the woods and I piss in the street out of spite.
Well, you have this robot a good chuckle, at least. Sorry to hear about all the things that have happened to you.
>>28477332
Thanks anon.
That actually makes me really happy.
>>28477419
What made you happy?
>>28476614
Yeah, merrican. But again, what's there for me? Seems like i'd get there and be even more fucked than I am now.
>>28474337
I can't stop spending too much time on this site.
>>28477432
I made you laugh.
I really want to make people happy, honestly.
>>28477437
Free university, no?
>>28477461
Not that anon but you seem like a very nice person. I hope you find happiness in your life, I really mean that senpai.
>>28477461
>>28477419 wasn't me, but I'm glad I could brighten your day a bit. If you enjoy the woods so much, maybe you should consider some kind of occupation in it. You could probably volunteer with your local Search and Rescue, which requires no prerequisites since they'll train you. If you're far out enough, maybe even volunteer for firewatch, which is basically you alone in a lookout tower in the middle of the wilderness for 3 months at a stretch.
S.A.D.
Origerino commentino
>>28477468
You really need to look into it, you keep spouting about free education. You can't just move to the country and be given access to the university.
You need to be on an exchange program for countries like denmark, and those are harder to get into than jobs with strict applications.
>>28474337
Me. My upbringing was shit but I let myself fail. Blaming others gets you nowhere.
>>28477516
Okay, okay, sorry. I thought it was an option.
>>28477533
>I thought it was an option.
If it was, you'd have every tom, dick and harry moving to countries with free education. It's for people who were born there or go through that countries school systems from the start. Foreigners usually have to pay, very high prices too.
>>28477558
Okay, man. You've made your point. I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. My bad.
>>28474337
I didn't fail
I never tried
>>28474441
I can relate to this quite a bit.
>>28477571
It's cool senpai. Sorry if I came across as rude. It's just that I know moving to another country won't fix anything for me. I'd be even worse than I am now with no parents to help over there. They are the only ones keeping me sane. Also money would be a huge issue, i'd be forced to work, would have no option to be neet in a strange land.
>>28477476
Thank you anon, that means so much to me.
This is why I come here, /r9k/ is home.
>>28477494
That's a really great idea, I never even thought of that before, but that sounds wonderful.
I'm good at finding things too, I might actually be able to help people
Thanks you anon
>>28477625
>/r9k/ is home.
We all know that feel, this is the one place where I don't feel alone. Good luck to you.
>>28477641
Good luck to you too.
Thank you for tonight
>>28477613
>Sorry if I came across as rude
Nah, it's fine. I just didn't think it through.
>>28477625
>This is why I come here, /r9k/ is home.
It is. 4chan is a great website, specially when you get to help other anons :3
>>28477641
Preach.
I just stopped caring.
Realized this world was shit and not the one I wanted to be living in.
I want to write, watch film, go hiking/fishing/camping/rock-climbing and fight amateur MMA while also absorbing as much information about interesting subjects as possible.
Turns out you have to get incredibly lucky to do any of those things in a professional capacity.
I fell for the Comp. Sci. meme so I wasted the past two years of my life and fucked my gpa so now I'm changing my major to Poli. Sci. Legal Studies and hoping I can make some miracle happen that puts my gpa anywhere close to the level I need it to be to be accepted to a half-decent law school.
>>28474337
>How old are you guys?
I'm 19. I'll be 20 in Sept.
>How do you cope?
Video games from morning to til dusk. Around 8-9 pm, when it's cooler out, I'll go on a walk (5-6 miles) and just listen to music and reminisce or conjour up ideas for my novel I'm writing.
I like threads like these. They make me feel less alone
>>28474441
Fuck, I relate to this too much. We're both on the same fucking train.
>>28477714
you sound like a great person
finish that novel not for yourself but for the people who will enjoy it. there will always be a select few that will enjoy your art. they may be hard to find, but it's that occasional person who genuinely finds your work enjoyable that makes you feel so much more better. always remember your audience and equally respect your own decisions as an artist
>>28477683
>I fell for the Comp. Sci. meme
Same for my mom. Comp sci is a fucking trap.
>>28477714
>I'll go on a walk (5-6 miles) and just listen to music
Oh, that sounds lovely!
>>28477758
Same thing for me, man. I love these threads.
>>28474337
>Divorce parents.
>Grew up around a drug addict, the new boyfriend of my mother.
>Mother lost interest in my brother and me because she got a kid from that drug addict.
>No motivation for school.
>Get bullied and picked on everywhere.
>Drop out and end up on welfare.
>No network or support from anyone.
No idea where to go, I will just enjoy some hobbies I guess and work on some creative projects. But not much in life can make me happy at this point.
>>28477815
I went through all of thew stories ITT, and they all seem to be somewhat similar, in one way or another.
We all share similar experiences, and we understand eachother.
It would be wonderful if we lived closer. I really really would.
We could form a strong and stable friendship.
/r9k/ friendship... hahaha... i really want this to happen
>>28477865
I want to give most people is this thread a hug desu. I can relate with so much it's almost making me want to cry.
>>28477885
>I can relate with so much it's almost making me want to cry.
Yeah... These kind of threads always make me tear a bit.
>>28474337
Depression, grades and drugs. However, family is at the core of it all. My parents are terrible human beings who should have never had a kid. My whole life we'd always have the police over at our place because my parents would fight and scream at each other. There were days where one of them would leave for like a week. I grew up insecure and ashamed of everything. I hate my parents so much. If I hadn't moved out, I sincerely believe one of those days I would have snapped and slit their throats.
I'm trying to move on from it all. At least I have a job and a shitty apartment. It's not ideal but goddamn I'm happier here than I ever was at "home."
I wouldn't say I failed in life.
My 'failure' mostly comes from my feelings, even though I have it alright Im always wanting more/better which just makes me feel like shit.
I never did well in school because I never put the effort into those things.
I enjoy work, it gives me a sense of purpose so I am ok with that.
Looking back on things, maybe I should have never went to post secondary and just went into a trade or something else where I can work with my hands, I seem to enjoy those kinds of jobs more.
its mostly a state of mind, I can quote you Marcus Aurelius but it truly is.
>>28474441
I know this feeling.
and it is a terrible feeling to know
>>28477865
Would be awesome to just have some friends to do some hobbies with, life is so meaningless without people. And that comes from someone who was so proud of being individualistic, I guess you can't change biology.
>>28474441
>>28477960
If your life is so shit maybe you should at least try to change it ?
The time will pass by anyways, so might as well do something good/productive with it.
>>28477975
>life is so meaningless without people.
True. I've always tried to be on my own, and I could do it for some time, but there's a point where you just can't go on without human contact.
I have not failed, but I am a broken person. I have a great job, awesome dog, fun hobbies, and I'm a decent looking, tall guy. I do alright with women.
On the other hand I am an angry, antisocial loner that spends all his time alone with a dog. I literally have 0 friends. Just colleagues and aquaintences.
Someday I'll find a girl worth marrying and have kids and everything will be alright, but I don't know if I'll ever be truly happy and fulfilled.
What would you guys tell your younger selves to avoid (some of the avoidable) problems in your life?
>>28474337
havent yet, came close a few times, but havent yet
>29
>had a stroke when i was younger
>dad basically gave up on me by his ow admission, focused on sister. Oh but the beatings kept coming
>picked on in school
>no friends
>massive depression
>get in UNI
>pass, get degree
>also go into the Trades- pipefitting
>still no friends
>no gf
>positive side
>have house, half paid off
>have car, fully paid off
>have career path
>have that degree mounted and framed
>thinking about buying a rental property
>what do you want to do now? Move on? How?
make enough money to buy a private island off of British Columbia and grow my own food and be 99% self sufficient
I made it cause i HATED the world around me, BUT i gained resources/skills to get through it. If i can exit (island, not suicide) it ill be set for LIFE
Most people dont have that blinding hatred to make it.
>>28474337
Having two older sisters that hated me and always made fun of me and no father figure. Made my self confidence shit growing up and it just stuck with me.
>>28474337
>what made you fail in life
>made you
Exactly that kind of passive abdication of responsibility
>>28477776
Thank you, I generally am a nice person. I appreciate your words of advice and encouragement. Truthfully, this brightened my mood.
>>28478093
That's not what I meant.
I just want to if something happened to you that made you give up.
That's it.
Let's try not to make this thread into a fight, please.
I just want people to share and vent. Leave as it is. Please.
>>28477796
Nice pun. It truly is soothing though.
>>28477975
Those feels I know too well.
I was never popular in school, but that didn't seem to matter, everyone had their circle of friends, some were bigger than others.
But once you're done school that 'glue' that binds you all together is no longer there.
There was no jobs or family that had to come first, it was schools over and go play most of the day.
And so then you go to work, you work 40+ hours a week there you are bound to make a few friends , right ?
Well turns out at work the age gap varies wiidly, from you being the youngest there to some old guy thats been around 40 years.
There's only a handful of people there that are your age that you talk to, everyone seems busy with their own things.
The people the do warm up to you at work are cool and all but its difficult to do anything with them outside of work.
Everyone has other commitments that come first, like family or appointments to keep.
You run into your old friends from school once in a while, you make small talk about how you should get together sometime but it never happens.
Everyone has their own lives to live and most of their friends and by extension you just fall to the way side.
You fall into a routine, weeks, months or maybe even years pass by before you even realize you haven't been out with friends in a long time
You shrug it off with blunt sadness, this is your life now.
Dad left when I was 13, he was the main source of my self-esteem, I think.
Was socially awkward in high school, never had friends or a gf. Never did any extra curricular activities, just kept my head down and waited to go home every day to play vidya.
Made poor choices in college, started smoking pot which led to doing it habitually, daily. Got arrested for it twice. Stopped having other interests and focused on that.
Picked a shitty liberal arts degree because I was never invested in school, just limped on semester to semester with barely any effort while working shitty part time jobs.
I just hate what my life has become. Because I feel like Ive made so many wrong choices, and now I dont know what to do. It seems like everyone else around me followed a path to success, I feel like ive already given up. I thought I was making the best choices at the time with what information I had, but I was a fool.
>>28478184
I swear to God I did not intend to insert a pun there.
Geez, this is the second time this happened in this thread.
>>28474337
22 year old Big 4 auditor/accountant here.
>What made you fail in life, anons?
>Family? Grades? Drugs? Depression?
Poor parenting, depression, being ugly, depression leading to other problems (drinking, mild ritaline addiction, videogames, isolation).
>And what do you want to do now?
sudoku is literally the best answer for anyone.
>>28477975
>life is so meaningless without people
This is the hard truth ive come to realize with age. Even if you have every material possession you could ever want, you will eventually grow bored and dissatisfied with them. Even amazing experiences dont seem as great when you cant share them with others.
I dont really have anyone in my life now and it fucking sucks. Just going to work day after day, with no end-game or goal in sight, its fucking pointless and dreadful.
Life is so much better when you have someone to look foward to.
i wanna make some friends
>>28474337
>What made you fail in life, anons?
Procrastination.
It has been the only form of "routine" I have every had and due to this act of inaction, it has feed into mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, social phobia, binge eating disorder, intrapersonality issues, etc.
Turns out the more you postpone life, the harder it comes down on your shoulders. Terrible genes, atrocious parenting, a traumatic childhood and subpar education and opportunity probably hasn't helped but on the other hand I also haven't done a whole lot to help myself out of the pit I was dumped in. It's all too easy to blame circumstance but blaming the world for the way it is doesn't actually make it any more palatable.
>>28474441
I want to spend hours grinding in Nanamori Quest with Yui.
>>28474337
Literal autism. I just want to exist peacefully with minimal effort until I die
>>28478207
>But once you're done school that 'glue' that binds you all together is no longer there.
My friend hit puberty and was only interested in girls from that point on, he went after the ladies and I never saw him again after that. That was 18 years ago.
>And so then you go to work, you work 40+
Never got motivated to find work because it was easy for me to get welfare, I never wanted to have a job because I already knew in my last year of school it would be like walking off a cliff where you no longer have connections with peopl. It's exactly as you posted.
>>28478275
>hurr you should be with someone for the sake of it
if you can't feel good by being by yourself maybe you should just commit sudoku
>>28474337
50% me
50% everything else
Life sucks
>>28478423
I think most people require some sort of relatioship with another human to be truly happy.
Friends, love, whatever it may be.
>>28478226
It's all good. It almost flew over my head actually.
>>28478275
>Even if you have every material possession you could ever want, you will eventually grow bored and dissatisfied with them.
Yeah, the more you have the less you appreciate. I bought most stuff I wanted and there is so little I actually use, it's better to have just a bed, a PC and hobby related stuff so you enjoy the few things you have. I bought things like expensive bikes but there was no one to go on rides with so it just became a repetitive task every time I went for a ride. Same motivation can be applied to a job, if you have no family or community to do stuff for you're just being a slave to make money to get by.
>>28475339
I'm 26. I cope by stuffing my face with McDonald's and smoking heroin
>>28478449
Seaweed:
50% sea
50% weed
>>28474337
>terrible body-image and self-esteem
>fat but also lazy so feeds back into the cycle of body image
>dad died when I was a kid, no good father figure growing up so I never had anyone teach me lessons about being a man I now realize are so critical to living a happy life
>>28476720
>I piss in the street out of spite
who's sad?
>>28476720
You'll make a fine homeless person sometime. If you ever see a guy with a hot girlfriend, good body, and a great job say hey to me. I'll make sure to throw some pennies at you.
>>28475795
>getting really fat
Cut out all liquid calories. Seriously, that's the main reason (in my opinion) that 75% of Americans are overweight or obese. You could also try stimulants like coffee, caffeine, preworkout powders, etc which will all reduce appetite.
>>28474337
Being lazy and world of warcraft.
>>28478559
>tfw taking a hit and immediately not feeling sad anymore
I wish I could still get high but my tolerance is shit
>>28478944
That sucks bro. I use subs n between my binges to keep my tolerance low
>TFW lie to literally everyone I know to hide the fact I'm a user
Very bad hips
I'm one bad trip away from hip replacement and it basically means I can't do anything too strenuous
My biggest fear was having a girl cheat on me eventually with a normal guy and confirm my fears of never being normal, and I had a crush play that out too close for comfort, rejecting me but going out with me and then other guys and then me again as a backup.
I honestly only ever wanted a family, because I don't care about working 40 hour weeks otherwise, so by 21 I just gave up and have cycles of moving up and falling down. I eventually did have a gf cheat on me, but it wasn't for that reason, and I wholeheartedly moved on from that.
Now, I am having a hard time coming to terms to being a wagecuck only for the foreseeable medical bills. Not hobbies, not rent, but for X rays and tests and operations. Insurance is climbing up, as well. Normal days like today I get along fine, but just few days ago I had back and neck pain, and it ruined my day since the pain only reminds me that it's only going to get worse as I get older and I get a double dose of depression for the actual pain and the pain of a happy life being an image I play out before sleeping and after playing pretend on online accounts
>>28476686
>>28476720
I didn't even realize you were female until you said "lunch lady"
Good on you, femanon, too bad you're borderline deranged
>>28479577
You only see the femanons who mention their gender. There are many femanons who don't but of course you'd never know.
It's like stereotypes in general. You aren't as apt to notice the ones who don't fit your stereotype, thus confirming the stereotype in your mind.
>>28477683
Maybe your problem is trying to do too many things at once? I was the same as you and still am in some capacity but once I started focusing more on one specific thing I wanted to do I found I achieved more.
How old are you anon?
>>28474337
I haven't failed. I succeeded as far as following the normie plan of mediocrity (aka finish school, get a job, move up in your career field) but I've failed at everything else that makes life matter. I spend my time doing the things I dreamed of back when I had an outlook only a privileged youth can bring and it leaves me feeling empty. I can't enjoy any of it so its ultimately like a punishment. I want nothing more than a few decent honest friends who live nearby and like to do stuff. Ora gf. But not both. I'm not greedy.
I don't know what to blame. I've been hollowed out slowly since the age of 6 and isolated myself far before the digital age was in full swing. All of the experiences most anons here go through that break them such as >>28474441 I relate to which makes it even harder to connect with people genuinely. I'm a paranoid wreck.
Letting a girl control my emotions at 19 really set me behind the eight ball and ruined two good years of my life.
Given that I'm still laboring under probation with just a year left of school, I'd like to get the fucking thing done with and stop worrying that next semester will be my last when I'm so close to being done.
I fucked up by listening to my parents too much and worrying about what they think. When I was younger I was a piece of shit, hanging around gang members and doing petty crimes, but I was happy. I remember laughing and smiling so much with my friends my jaw would be sore. Now I'm a "good person", I'm in college like every other useless idiot, I have no friends, no money, no control over my life at all. I would rather have stayed with my old friends and gotten murdered by age 25 than live a boring life as another loser on the street, but I stupidly listened to my parents and teachers saying that college would lead the way to a good and happy life, almost nobody in college is happy and the job market for young people is fucked. I could be slanging oxy, getting high everyday, and getting pussy, but instead I just post on 4chan, play videogames, and jerk off.
I think what fucked me up was never learning what exactly it is that makes people not like me so that I could change something.
I am weird and have ADD, and I've always been the class clown type but never really had any friends, just acquaintances. I always had people to talk to in school, in after-school programs, jobs, etc. I guess people have always seemed to like having me around, but basically like, not when they didn't have to. Always getting told how funny I am, cool to talk to, etc, but never even invited to hang out outside of school or even exchange phone numbers.
I wish I could say that I am a 24 year old kissless friendless virgin because I was bullied my whole life, or because I was abused, or that I am super shy and quiet, but I'm not. I recognize that I'm weird and kind of obnoxious, but people have seemed to like being around me regardless of that. And once I got to college, I had been shunned so long that I basically never tried, and that carried into current work. And as I stayed isolated, I just became more bitter and cynical which likely pushed more people away and the fact that I can't have real conversations with people.
Basically the rest of the shitpile that is my life (not having a driver's license, getting mediocre grades in college, living with my parents, shit job, no motivation, etc) is a result of the misery and depression caused by not having friends or a girlfriend and the hopelessness of it. Sure, having emotionally distant bad parents didn't help either
And the worst thing is I bet I could ask people I knew or do know IRL and they could give me tons of reasons why they hated me and I'm so autistic that I never would have realized any of it.
>>28475339
26
We were born into a broken generation. More than that, we're fucking animals. I'm not saying we don't have basic responsibilities, like paying bills if we have to, or being good to our parents if we live with them, but everything else, that social cuck race, it's literally empty vanity. Animals couldn't give two shits about other animals as long as they have their basic necessities. Fuck society's poison that trains us to compete and feel like shit if we don't win.
>>28475339
> 22
> Tell myself it could be worse
> Fantasize about leaving for a small town in the mountains where I can be alone in peace and leave the rat race behind me
When I was young I received many opportunities to go somewhere with my life and made lots of friends, but my family would move at least once every grade year and so I'd have to transfer schools and start over. Somewhere around 5th grade this coupled with the loss of lots of good friends, a huge motivational opportunity and my parent's fighting into a nasty divorce I lost my way completely.
Most of junior high and high school years I barred everyone except my family from my life because I was so afraid of losing again. So fucking afraid of starting over just to have some fuckwit drag me away and force me to do it all over again.
The kicker, though, is my senior year I realized those decisions were about to be my own domain soon and so I very slowly crept back to normalcy. By the time I finished college (which I had to fund on my own because poverty) my Mom was eager to kick my ass out of the house so I moved and started adult life in the only field I still enjoyed.
I guess you could say I found my second wind at life. I was ecstatic and had not felt this great in years. But because I shuttered away a key period of my life (teen years) I made no personal connections and so lost any real support structure I needed to endure the stress of being an adult. I refuse to take up alcoholism like my father as a substitute, so the suffering has turned into severe anxiety and clinical depression. Probably some burnout syndrome as well but that I've yet to discuss with anyone.
So, here I am now, just barely holding on to my career, and although I've been able to hide my condition for so long I am no longer able to and it has become apparent. The behavior towards me has shifted due to this. I know its only a matter of time before what could have been comes to an end and all I'm left with is this conflict telling me I need to carry forth but there is no will left to continue through the motions.
>>28474337
feelings of nihilism, so i don't try
>>28474337
I wouldn't say I have failed just yet. My family surely thinks I have but lets be realistic... 90%+ of people are doomed to be stupid peasants (wagecucks) so their opinions should not be taken seriously.
I certainly have the potential, I just need the motivation to see my goal through to the end. I'm sure my family has something to do with my depression but I lost most of my childhood memories for whatever reason. Anyway I came to the same conclusions many robots come to, life is pointless so its not like any of this matters.
When it comes down to it, I know I could show up all these wagecucks in my family and throw them into a deep depression. But do I really want to spend all the time and effort when I could be a comfy NEET doing whatever hobby instead?
>>28474337
Ever increasing social anxiety followed by distracting crushes that never got real closure.
>>28474433
i was raised by a ftm bipolar singleparent who "transitioned" and changed her name when i was like 4
>>28480180
>did that
>rode my dad's motorcycle to a postcard town 1800 miles away
>seemed so great at first
>got a job
>met the locals
>slowly started to fit in
>truly started over
....
>rent was crazy
>job didn't pay enough
>tons of drama with the locals
>dated a quirky popular local chick
>pissed all the guys off that wanted her
>she turned out to be bat shit insane
>couldn't go back to living my own little quiet life since everyone got in my business
>moved to the city to be anonymous again
Pic is of the town I lived in
4-fa alcohol etizolam adderall and mxe
Father came from a white middle class home, mother came from a ghetto Mexican home with abusive parents and a nutso brother. She carried on the tradition.
Their first kid came out violently retarded. When they sent him to school, he obviously disrupted classes, so one teacher had him tied to a chair. When my parents learned of this, they swore of school for all five of their future children to come (despite knowing their genes weren't right) and started an uber right-wing homeschooling dynasty.
Their last two children, my younger brothers, also ended up retarded. In my case, it's hard to tell. A doctor once said I showed signs of autism, but I just thought, "Well, duh, no way I'm gonna function like a normal person with the environment I was raised in."
When my parents weren't beating me and my younger sister or each other, they were stuck to forums. They made my older sister the ring leader, giving her equal power to them. Every time me or my younger sister spoke, she would scream insults and profanity over us.
When I wanted to talk to my parents, I made sure to do it when my older sister wasn't around. My mother would usually laugh, insult me or pretend not to hear me, but my father got violent. Recently, I tried to talk to him about how that messed me up and he laughed and said it never happened.
They insisted on taking their circus of a family to restaurants, stores and vacation spots constantly, even though my brothers always threw food at people, screamed swears they learned from my parents and often physically hurt us and strangers. My only experience with people outside of my home was as an ashamed freak.
I wasn't allowed or able to take part in any non-church social stuff. At church, I was alone from the very start because of my life. I couldn't talk to people. I didn't know anything.
Sometimes my parents would tell funny stories about their high school adventures with their many friends and I wondered why they were so okay with depriving me of that.
>>28474337
Probably family and anxiety. My parents fought constantly the whole time I was growing up and then I was bullied for being poor because my mom worked for one of the guys in my class' mom, so I just kind of withdrew and became antisocial. Then somehow in high school I actually managed to have a fairly normal 4 year relationship that was ruined by my gfs parents/living in a small town, after that I just kinda gave up.
I just fucking failed 2 courses and got a D in another. I got a B in Calc II even though I studied hard for it.
Depressed all year. This just makes things worse. I was in a long distance relationship with a girl from Australia. Last year, I thought that by now, I would be in Australia meeting her and things would be great. Apparently not. She was sexually assaulted in August 2015. It was the most painful experience of my life. I felt powerless, frustrated and guilty. The next few months I tried my hardest to help her and I think I did do a pretty good job at it. But there were many times where I had scares and fears that it would happen to her again. I would wake up in the middle of the night and I would have that though in my head. Our relationship took a turn for the worse as the months went out and we broke up in November. It was fucking miserable. I saw a therapist while I was at school for the past 5-6 months but it didn't help. I have nothing great going on in my life. I have no one to blame but myself. I fucking hate my life. Someone should just put me out of my misery.
>>28478083
>Most people dont have that blinding hatred to make it.
This anon holds the key. Pay attention.
If i don't get into medical school, I'm going to kill myself. But the depression is making it difficult to make the grades.
Family and depression at first. Parents were weird. Grades were around a B average through high school and college. Spent most of my time playing video games and screwing around. Never did much in college. Turned to heavy drinking in my mid 20s. Dropped out of grad school at 27. Now I'm a 31 year old wizard with two shitty jobs and little hope for turning my life around.
>>28481760
shit, dude
you write well
give it a go outside?
or at least with people in chat rooms
>>28474337
My Grandmother had a kid with some random guy none of us even know his name or what he looks like,she was raised with better morals and standards by good parents so she couldn't get an abortion or get rid of the child. She never really looked after her single daughter,it was work or it was just the reminder of the choice she made and regrets,not entirely sure,so she gets raised by HER Grandmother. She's growing,not sure how old but old enough to know this man is a fucking liar,violent and scum,but she goes out with him anyway,gets pregnant,the cycle repeats,except she stays with him long enough to have 2 kids while he's going around doing the same bullshit routine with other women behind her back. I must have at least a dozen half brothers and sisters,I'm curious but not enough to find them and meet them when our only connection if a piece of shit. Mother always working setting us up with babysitters of all moral standing,some were nice,alot of them were pricks. Mom gets home! Too tired to play with us,just more dollar store horror movies. McDonalds for dinner and breakfast again. School starts,I'm excited,I want to be everyone's friend,but it seems like no one wants to be MY friend unless they're being bullied so I,the 6'0 thrift shop clothed,fat kid can protect them,but I'll do it anyway. They said they were my friend. Not sure how I got through looking back,the abuse was inhuman from just kids and teachers. Guess I was just too stupid or hopeful. Start drawing Dragons,I like dragons,one of the movies she brought back from work had a dragon. He was being hurt and attacked too,but he was strong,and was nice to them anyway,maybe I can do this a bit longer.
>>28474337
>implying I wasn't made to fail
>>28482798
It doesn't stop,I'm angry why doesn't my mother help me? If I'm not held in every recess I'm spending it beating up the other kids and imitating the moves the superheroes did in the movies on them,might as well try to have fun with it. So tired of protecting little sister from the other kids trying to hurt me by hurting her. Just fight back,I'll even show you how. Oops,I hit too hard,she's crying now,why does it feel so good? I should show Mom too. It doesn't feel good anymore,they're both looking at me like the other kids do. Pam the social worker shows up,time for us to go to a new family for a while. I miss them both.
>>28483030
I'm living with Grandma now,but she doesn't like being called that,she prefers us to use her real name. Maybe she feels like she hasn't earned that title yet? Maybe she's just trying to deny her age. She's nice to me,not so much to little sister,wonder why. Mom gets a new boyfriend,this one smells like piss and cheap beer,I hope he's nice. He's not,he likes to beat up the Dog and his own kids. 'Just give him a chance,bud,you'll see.' while we watch him kick the shit out of the 1 year old dog for pissing in the living room,it's so scared it starts to shit everywhere. They're arguing again,I guess I'll go to ride my bike again. He brings home a fat woman one day,they're both high,my mother takes us both and leaves the 4th boyfriend. When will she learn?
everyone fails.
The thing that leads to "failure" is a lack of persistence.
>>28475339
18... i can't even imagine how shit you friends at 25+ feel.
>>28474337
I only have myself to blame for my failure, no one else. My parents have always been supportive of me and my former dreams. I've never done drugs, never hit the bottle.
The reason I fail is because I'm an undisciplined, unmotivated, lazy bastard who left any work to the last moment. It's the reason I failed my first year of community college. In the final weeks of first year I could barely find the motivation to get out of bed less do any assigned work. I had no friends to greet in classes. I'd wake up and justify my dormancy. It got to the point where the only time I would leave the house was to give my parents the impression I was still attending class, where in reality I just bused to the library to sit for a few hours instead of going to classes. As to why I simply didn't just use those hours to attend the final lectures of the year, I don't know. Maybe I didn't want to face the other students I started the year with.
>>28474337
Initially family, then drugs, (followed by a period in which I got my life somewhat together on my own accord, then "friend(s)", and finally drugs once again... They finished me off.
My life story is pretty sad. Ultimately.
Those glimmers of hope seemed so promising though...
>>28474337
I guess I just enjoyed being miserable a bit too much to try
>>28474337
>What made you fail in life, anons?
indifference
>>28474337
I used people as crutches
>>28474337
Bullied by big brother from birth until 16.
Tons of bullshit phobias like balloon drops at very early age.
Yellow-piss teeth because of tons of antibiotics as a toddler (life-threatening condition).
Being selfish resulted me to isolated myself from other, I never developped any social skills.
Dumb as hell.
Can't communicate properly.
No strenght at all. Even the girls were stronger than me. A literal sad walking speghetti.
I was easily manipulated by the people I once considered my only "friends", from the 5th grade to end of middleschool.It would go with humiliation session in front of others, begging, getting punishment games.
Very early puberty, ugly body hair.
Acne that got worse per year, got nicknamed "calculator" or "landmine"
Bullied non-stop in middle-school because of my apparence and also the autistic fact that I didn't tolerated any bantz directed to me.
When I decided to make efforts to get a gf, it failed miserably, then I acted like a creeper for the rest of school life.
I've developped porn addiction in part of my escapism.
Masturbated nearly everyday.
I remember most of the nights I would be on my shitty phone browsing the Internet from 10pm to 2am in search for pinups/hentai pics and save them to fap just after. Did that from 2009 to 2013.
Now, I just do it from my PC because its much easier and I don't get headaches anymore.
Chronical depression, got to the psy etc, etc...
I was never truly happy and will never by as the others because of my sad nature.
cont?
>>28478904
I think it's more to do with the fact I eat fast food almost daily and eat 4-6 potato chip packs a day. with 3-4 chocolate bars.
Also I don't eat because i'm hungry or have an appetite, I do it because it makes me feel better and gives me something to do.
>>28481498
Clonazolam for me senpai.
Were you a heavy user of said substances?
Grades>lack of long term goals/ambition>depression>drugs in that order
>>28474337
In short: My parents.
>>28474337
Fail at what? Having a meaningful impact? Maintaining my personal integrity? Having a happy life?
I'd say desperation, having a shit temper, religion and apathy.
I'm at a point where I just don't know why I would do anything
>>28474337
schizophrenia, the real crush was to find out that there was no cure, it will only get worse
>>28486239
What's your mind like?
>>28486253
im the typical guy with delusions of grandeur, i tought/think the voices in my head are prayers given to me by my followers as i am infact god
>>28486289
>thinks he's a god
>while sitting on r9k complaining about women
The god of being cucked?
>>28486335
If reading this post doesn't make him realize he's not a god, nothing will.
>a lack of any clear idea of what i want to do
>drug abuse during my late high school years (mostly alcohol but later on hard drugs)
>neglectful abusive father, coddling mother who gave into almost everything I asked and who spoiled me
>bad friends in highschool
>largely left alone during prepubescent and early teen years which basically caused some antisocial and asocial tendencies
The only thing that has saved me has been my coddling mother, she's bailed me out a few times with things. I'd probably be sucking dick for coke if my father was the one who raised me (he would have booted me out at 18 if he hadn't left).
>>28486951
Are you still on drugs?
>>28476449
Join the military fucker
Then when you're out if you're still feeling down look around for contract defense work in Africa or some shit.
>>28474337
Initially it was laziness and depression. These things led to addiction which led to more and more laziness and failure. I eventually went back to school and got a couple 'fun' part-time jobs, and now I'm looking at graduate schools. I kicked the drugs (though not 100%) and I think things will probably turn out okay. It's never too late!
>>28475858
Kill your dad.
How is this not Original?
An umbilical cord problem that caused me to be an emergency preterm birth of a few weeks is probably responsible for the bulk of it.
>>28474337
Not knowing what I want to do for a career. No end goal to strive for.
>>28486951
Alcohol is a hard drug based on withdrawals and harm on your body.
ITT: convincing each other responsibility is "too tough"
>>28489577
Nobody thinks that. We all know we fucked our lives up and it's all our fault.
>>28489655
oh. I came here hoping for stories of people wanting to get out of it and succes stories os crawling out of this shit, confirmations of fucking up doesnt help you unfuck your life. im stuck atm but not trying to stay this way forever
>>28489838
I think that's because most in this thread have lost hope. If you still have hope that's good.
>>28489972
if youve given up then just restart
My parent's shitty relationship and their indifference about my education led me to where I am today.
>father verbally abuses my mother and used to strike me in the face or chase after me
>sister moved out of the house as soon as she could leave, father used to harass her and spit on her car ever morning
>mother would constantly promise they were getting divorced and that we were going to move out and I could transfer to another school
>grew up listening to constant threats about being murdered, having my personal belongings destroyed, how I was useless and stupid, hearing my father's alcoholic rants or muttering to me that he would kill himself in front of me
>worked part-time and took multiple back to back 3 hour classes at college, would come home to do schoolwork and either be locked out or find out the computer keyboard and mouse were removed
>parents told me after graduating highschool that I would attend cc and then transfer to a uni, after receiving the acceptance letter and going to cc for two years they told me they never intended to let me and stopped paying for any of my college classes
I still live with them but it's more out of spite to show them that their kid turned into a insociable 24 year old wageslave loser working 3 min wage jobs
>>28486951
Kicked the hard drugs 10 years ago, I'm still addicted to stims when not drinking though. I can't go without at least a bunch of caffeine in the morning.
>>28474590
>parents only cared for favorite child
is the one i would chose
Severe anxiety since a kid and drugs for 12 years now
>>28477086
Hans get out
Remove Soviets
