We Diagnose each others autism on a scale on 1 to 10. I will start with the most autistic moment in my entire life
(1/2)
>be me 19 years old
>NEET fag with no life ambitions, pretty much the average robot
>regress my mind back to when I was a wee lad, what did I want from life when I was younger?
>always dreamed of being a pirate
>sailing the open seas, no rules, rum, total freedom
>sounded like a plan
>get a job at Tesco (UK supermarket)
>decide to become wagecuck, save up my earnings to buy a boat. Once I get my boat I will sail away and live the pirate life.
>turns out boats are expensive
>months later no boat. But I bought a nifty pirate hat and a lot of rum
>I now drink almost exclusively rum, because pirate life
>there is a local shipwreck and heritage center close to where I work
>lots of old timey ships down there on display in the harbor
>every day after work I walk down to the harbor, look at the ships and dream of sailing away on one of them
>kek, I'll be lucky if I can afford a tiny normie boat
>feelsbadman
>someday.psd
>get off work late one day
>it's dark
>still decide to head down to the harbor to look at the cool boats
>there is no one around
>this is my chance
>pull me' pirate hat out o' me' bag
>scamper on down past th' "no entry" signage
>take a swig o' rum from me' hip flask in me' coat pocket
>tfw total lightweight
>already been drinking rum today
>I'm closer to the ship than ever before though
>'tis a beauty
>'tis a fine ship
>chuck me' backpack to one side and begin te' climb aboard
>feelin' like a real pirate now, yarr
>pic related. 'tis the mighty fine ship
>run to th' hull
>grab the wheel
>close my eyes, pretend like I'm on open seas
>feelsrightman
>decide to sing meself an ol' Alestorm sea shanty at the top o' me' lungs
>security guard must have spotted me
>see a flashlight coming in from the only entrance
>ye'll nevar take me alive!
>leap off the other side o' the ship
>plunge into the depths
>swim t' the other side o' th' harbor
cont
cont
(2/2)
>it's cold but I do it fer' Jack Sparra'
>there be another swashbuckler security guard waiting for me there
>I don't feel so good
>vomit on his shoes
>fall to the ground an' cry fer' me mam.
>get arrested for trespassing and damaging private property
>get a hefty fine
>had to pay almost all the money I've been saving up for the last few months to cover damages and trespassing fees
>tfw no boat
>tfw no money
>tfw no job because the boss fired me
>found out I'd been drinking rum at work
>back to neetlife
>tfw months later nothing even changed
>come home
>not a pirate anymore
>mum made me mac and cheese for tea
>it's gone cold but eat it anyway
>come upstairs and shippost on 4chan
>yo ho yo ho, autismo life fer' me.
Why is living the pirate like so hard, r9k? I'd rate my autism a solid 7/10
>>28473291
those are some really nice ships anon
>>28473203
is this picture in cornwall somewhere? i swear ive been there before
>>28473407
yup. Charlestown, Cornwall. I do love those ships ;-;
>>28473464
that's where it is! i remember going down onto the beach over the back side of this picture
>>28473503
the beach is all pebbley, it's not a very nice beach. The best Cornwall beaches are up on the north coast.
>>28473203
>>28473291
The fact that you wrote this means you're either pretty autistic or you're just trying to satisfy your special snowflake complex by getting le edgy autism.
>>28473203
Well this is fucking weird. I used to work on those ships.
If you swam in the harbour water you literally swam in our piss and industrial amounts of pigeon and Dove shit.
To be honest I'm surprised more people don't trespass on the boats at night especially since the harbours nothing but bars. I dunno what security guard you're talking about.
What did you damage?
>>28473203
>be me
>20
>unironically listen to the Offspring
>unironically wear trenchcoat and trilby
>play Fallout erryday
>also play Warframe very often
>unironically growing neckbeard
Don't give a shit, I do what the fuck I want because doing anything else doesn't do shit
>>28473918
This wasn't as an encouragement to go on the ships at night or ever. As the crews sleep on there and are well within their rights to deal with you themselves if you wake them and regularly do.
Both those ships in OP are long gone now anyway.
I spend my days drawing pepes in paint in stead of studying
>>28473918
I don't even know what I damaged. Possibly the wheel? I was turning it pretty vigorously. I was pretty drunk. I didn't expect security guards either, maybe it's a newer thing.
>>28474260
It won't have been the wheel.
They're absolutely lovely ships and the harbour is one of the most beautiful places in the world so as a sailor I can't fault you for wanting on but trespassing and making a racket on there at night is seriously uncool. Especially with all that gay as fuck pirate shit you can imagine everyone onboard is sick of hearing from literally everyone.
There's plenty of times to get on at festivals.
>>28473980
Offspring isn't that bad. Common autist 5/10
>in highschool
>playing counter strike with classmates
>can't play for shit
>classmate tells me to kill myself
>i kill myself
