Imagine a hypothetical scenario where you are teleported back into the dark ages, since diet and nutrition are unheard of: you're a giant, well-built and physically are strong and dominant over the men that are barely 5'0 these dark medieval women come to suck and fuck and show you a whole lot of dirty medieval faerylike sex, they enact fetishes that would be abhorred in the 21st century, lots of orgies and sex with just women who want to fuck you senseless. You do a few moves on your own like the inverted 69, spreading your load across generations and having a huge impact on the offspring of later generations.
Does anybody else know this feel? That /feel/ thread.
>>28470425
Unless i bring lots of gold or something with me, my body or brains alone won't do me much good in such system. Women are property back then to whoever got money and land, they can't sleep around like the whores nowdays. Besides the local 5'2 chads will get assmad at you and one night they will gang up on you with axes, hammers and shit good luck dealing with that. Besides life will be dull, shit tier entertainment and surrounded by retarded peasants all the time, no healthcare, no nothing, no thanks.
>>28470425
bruh average height in the uk around 1000 years ago was 5'7.5", unless youre teleporting back to asia no small loli harem for you desu
>>28470425
the women were toothless and filthy. Everyone was infested with worms and maggots. Drinking water was shit because noone knew what germs were. Only the exceptionally powerful got to have multiple sexual partners so unless you're a priest or aristocrat that's not happening. Also Chad was actually worse back then. Today Chad fucks roasties and then marries when he's like 30. Back then Chad was a feudal lord who got to fuck your wife because you were basically his slave. Often he got to do really fucked up shit like fuck 10 year olds too. Fucking disgusting
>>28470425
>robot teleported in dark ages
>170 cm tall 150kg weight
>more dirty and stinky than average peasant there
>locals think he is some kind of demon or monster
>killing you
>>28470425
>>28470492
>implying any white devil wouldnt immidiately get axed to death or burned on the stake
>>28470645
Why people romanticize that period so much? It was literally horrible to live in those days, people were barely better than animals. Do they base their knowledge off hollywood movies or something?
>>28470645
rights of the lord - fuck your wife day before the wedding feelsbadman
>>28470689
why would bother getting teleported back in time just to see medieval niggers?
i can book a flight to africa right now
>>28470645
Some Chad lords had laws that entitled them to have sex with your new wife before you do.
>>28470691
You think motherfuckers read about that stuff?
>>28470691
>Do they base their knowledge off hollywood movies or something?
Yes. Not like your average person would put the time in to watch some shit like Hard To Be a God
>>28470645
>Often he got to do really fucked up shit like fuck 10 year olds too. Fucking disgusting
>Fucking disgusting
I want normies out
>>28470691
>>28470691
>Why people romanticize that period so much?
Because we are so far removed from it the downsides aren't "real" to us anymore. Also because that's what people do as they get old. They pretend the past was an awesome place to live.
>Do they base their knowledge off hollywood movies or something?
Basically yes. Life was pretty shitty until the 60s. Lots of disease, violence, and boredom. I'm glad I live in a day and age where I don't have to die from cavities or live with parasites eating me alive
>Teleport to the middle ages
>Captured and killed immediately for witchcraft
>>28470425
>Build a shotgun.
>Become king.
>>28470816
>But first before I am killed I go to your ancestory line and rape all of them for a 10 year period, one rape every hour in 10 years.
>>28470425
dark age isn't that bad. as long as you are one of the elites which is likely to happen
>>28470740
>Hard To Be a God
isn't that movie set in different planet?
>>28470824
go to bed bruce campbellBOOMSTICK
>>28470850
even the rich had shitty lives. Keep in mind there is no sanitation whatsoever. People would literally eat cheese crawling with maggots because they didn't know maggots were baby flies. If you piss off a noble they'll accuse you of being gay and have you killed. Then there's the authoritarian religious shit
>ITT: being a peasant/villen/serf in the dark ages was miserable and violent
Actually, if you lived to puberty, it wasn't that bad. If you grew up without the comforts we know today, you wouldn't miss them. Violence was not at all rampant (it's just that history records all violence, and little of the mundane), and people were altogether more free and independent.
Food was bland, but everyone drank small beer, as it was far safer than water. It's a common idea that everyone back than was a little buzzed 24/7. You had no anxieties or stress of modern life - no mortgage or rent, no 9 to 5, no nanny state, ect.
People lived in much, much smaller communities, and everyone knew each other. You would not develop social anxiety if raised in such a community.
History does not record the mundane. Nobody purchased very expensive vellum just to write down and let future people know that everything was okie dokie. It would've been pretty good to live back then.
>>28470425
Can I get a 10yo lgf?
>>28470968
Also, you would be expected to work a lot less. Those who say you would be on a farm 12 hours a day 7 days a week don't know the first thing about farming.
Common people worked to feed themselves, and nothing more. They worked their lords, their landlords, land, yes, but only a few days a year. During harvest season, you would be working very hard for very long hours, but for the rest of the year you'd only have a few basic tasks to complete every day.
They also had a lot more mandatory days off. Depends on the time and country, but more than our weekends. They had many more religious and cultural festivals.
>>28470968
>Violence was not at all rampant
25% of all people died from homicide
>everyone drank small beer, as it was far safer than water
wrong
>no 9 to 5, no nanny state
You were pretty much a slave or close to it. Kings and priests were unquestionable. They could have you killed, take your money whenever, etc.
>People lived in much, much smaller communities
Your wife was your cousin. Also have fun when your parents have you killed because they can't afford an 8th child
>>28470425
>And then you realize you need guns and gold to live the good life
>And then you realize you need loads of antibiotics and medicine so you don't die from a cut
>even when you have both, you have to have a social network unless you want to be killed by a spy and have your goods stolen
>no man is an island, unless you are a 23rd century transhuman cyborg, but you wouldn't care about sex when you have neural stimulators and a permanent "construct" in your own neural embedded simulator.
>>28470425
We are literally a decade away from full body virtual simulations. You can act out all your medival rape fantasy all you want in a worm and comfortable room in a world where you don't die from diseases and hunger, why would you want to go back to the past, I would much rather live in the future
>>28471095
>25% of all people died from homicide
Where? When? 25% of all fighting age men in 800AD Ireland maybe.
>wrong
Expand.
>You were pretty much a slave or close to it. Kings and priests were unquestionable. They could have you killed, take your money whenever, etc.
No, they couldn't. Killed by whom? People didn't have guns back then. Communities wouldn't accept wanton violence. You kill your peasants, congratulations, you and your kin starve to death as your farmlands turn to ruin.
>Your wife was your cousin.
Are we all inbred now? Your other point was so ridiculous and unfounded that I omitted it.
>>28470425
>you're a giant, well-built and physically are strong and dominant
Yeah right, I might be taller than people but I'm still a stick insect.
>>28470425
Fuck your measles and typhus, I'll take my homodeck
Its fun daydreaming about how all the accumulative knowledge we have now could be put to use.
>>28471300
Until you are burned for being a witch for threatening the clergy by talking crazy things like chemistry and microbiology. The best you can do is hired as a siege engineer for some lord before you both are poisoned by a unsanitary well or die from some disease
>>28471203
>Where? When? 25% of all fighting age men in 800AD Ireland maybe.
exactly
800AD WAS the dark ages and it was a time when war was very common
>Expand.
knowledgenuts.com/2014/03/03/bad-water-never-made-people-drink-beer-instead/
>No, they couldn't. Killed by whom? People didn't have guns back then.
There was lots of things that got punished by death. Witchcraft(which basically included anyone who wasn't a normie), gay sex(again just an assumption about "weird" men most of the time), heresy, etc.
>Are we all inbred now?
Inbreeding was common then because people lived in smaller communities. Also family sizes were HUGE and parents had the right to kill "disobedient" children.
>>28471368
>25% of all people died from homicide
>>Where? When? 25% of all fighting age men in 800AD Ireland maybe.
>exactly
LOL
>find nearest lord
>pledge my giant ass as a yeoman for lodging and a small pittance
>build myself a coal and pebble filtration system so I don't get giardia
>help plan and design the yearly pageants, maybe build some stages and hold some church dramas if money's good
Sounds kinda comfy.
>>28471352
>being retarded
Literally do as priests did back in the day and coat everything you do as something you do for god, and like today, give the appropriate kickbacks to the church and whatnot.
>>28470425
You'd tower over peasants but nobles/rich people had good nutrition and you wouldn't be much taller than them if not taller at all.
>>28471368
>800AD WAS the dark ages and it was a time when war was very common
No it wasn't, it's just that war is all that was often recorded. War was the sport of the ruling classes, and as such, it's what they wanted remembered. 99% of people had jack shit to do with wars.
25% of soldiers in a campaigning army were very unlikely to die of homicide. I have no idea where you got that figure from.
>knowledgenuts.com/2014/03/03/bad-water-never-made-people-drink-beer-instead/
One article one a not overly popular blog. We know that labourers (meticulous records of castle building were kept) and soldiers were rationed alcohol, as were sailors.
>Witchcraft(which basically included anyone who wasn't a normie)
In very certain time periods, in a limited number of provinces -
>gay sex(again just an assumption about "weird" men most of the time)
" "
>heresy, etc.
In very, very extreme circumstances. Able bodied working people were valuable to a community, they weren't just slain left and right for no reason.
>Inbreeding was common then because people lived in smaller communities. Also family sizes were HUGE and parents had the right to kill "disobedient" children.
People have known of the ills of inbreeding for a very, very long time, and take steps to avoid it. As for killing disobedient children, I have never heard of this.
All of your assumptions seem to be based on the worst possible scenarios of the time - yes, living in the crappiest province, under the crappiest rulers, in the crappiest town, in a time of great strife would've been miserable.
Just as it is today.
