Why are you obsessed with finding a gf?
Why do you think you will find meaning in yourself through other people?
Because of the limbic system. I know people always spout "you have to be happy being alone" but it's fucking impossible due to the limbic system. Every mammal is biologically hardwired to deeply desire pair bonding.
>Why do you think you will find meaning in yourself through other people?
I don't. At all. I just have constant crushing loneliness due to that bullshit limbic system. Humanity is the cruelest joke of all.
>>28437673
kissing just feels really fucking great, especially if the chemistry is good
is that enough of a reason?
Post more cute Ramonas
I'm not. I just want a friend at this point. And I'll fuck anything that breathes if it consents so gf/bf idgaf
>>28437715
It sounds to me like you've latched onto the idea of the limbic system and you're using it as an excuse, as a crutch. We are not like other mammals, our thoughts, actions, wants and desires are more complex and considered than animals that largely act on instinct.
>>28437807
Is it enough reason to value yourself based on whether or not you can find a date?
>>28437926
Unless you're putting yourself out there and actively trying to, no, don't judge yourself based on it
>>28437673
oh Ramona
I love this stupid movie because every girl is qt
(yes even Anne)
>>28437985
ITS TRUE. See for yourself
>>28437673
because I want to become one with a lover and bliss out on each others presence
>>28438010
hngh
orignal comment abanaa
>>28437940
I'm just asking hypothetically. People seem so devoted to the idea of having a relationship, and it bothers me. Is a relationship built upon the idea, the fixation, of having a relationship for the sake of having a relationship a real bond or just something shallow for people look for validation in the eyes of others?
>>28438010
I still have trouble believing that is Aubrey Plaza
I love her so much but she looks nothing like that girl
To reply to you OP. I just really want someone to shoot the shit with. Someone to talk to things personally with. I have like 2-3 good friends but I can't tell them everything, and they might not have the perspective to help me. Another female is not only a good companion, but compassionate. Not to mention sex and all that good primal stuff, but mainly to connect with someone on a deeper level that you just can't do with friends.
>>28437673
Pic related pretty much nails it.
God, I want an MPDG.
>>28438054
>mainly to connect with someone on a deeper level that you just can't do with friends.
What's to say you can't connect deeply with friends?
Are strong bonds and connections not the foundation of friendship?
Maybe you just don't have the right friends, or maybe it's just a problem with you not being comfortable opening up with people, but I don't see this as a reason to be obsessed with having a romantic relationship.
>>28438054
>But you can tell us anything anon!
>>28438049
I wish she would have bored sex with me and ask me if I was finished but still be content enough to stick around and be my partner.
>>28437715
This. It's the male equivalent of women getting broody and wanting kids. Our brains are telling us we need to mate with as many females as possible, and if we don't we've basically failed our sole purpose as a man
>>28437673
>Why do you think you will find meaning in yourself through other people?
If you're not one of those people that has some kind of inborn quest this is basically the only way to find meaning. Our modern individualist culture likes to pretend that the self is all one should ever need but it's just not the case. Humans are social creatures (for the most part) and we find happiness and pleasure in interacting with each other. It's not codependence, neuroticism or narcissism to want to build meaningful relationships with other humans, to want to be loved and to want to love; it's just normal. It's what any social creature would like. And if you can't do it for whatever reason, I think sadness and misery is a natural reaction.
Finding happiness in yourself? Go fuck yourself. The interior of your mind is all ghosts and daydreams, you'll only find meaning when you step outside of it.
>>28438069
>MPDG
I picked Romana Flowers for this very reason. I think the concept of the MPDG is rather shallow and self-loathing. You shouldn't be looking to find yourself and an enthusiasm for life through a girl like the MC of a MPDG movie does.
>>28438096
It's because I'm basically a failed normie. I have social anxiety and regular ass anxiety (actually diagnosed, I'm not a tumblr self-diagnosing faggot) it's just hard for me to open up. And the only way I felt comfortable was opening up with my ex, she sadly hates my guts now but I really miss that. The constant lifeline that I could talk to help me with my problems, that support. That emotional support is the best part, all my problems seemed to go away with her. So it might just be precedent but it makes me pretty sad to not have that.
>>28438123
>Our brains are telling us we need to mate with as many females as possible, and if we don't we've basically failed our sole purpose as a man
The fact that you are aware of this concept means you aren't shackled down by it.
>>28438177
How old are you senpai?
origami
>>28438185
Just because I'm aware of it doesn't stop me pining for a gf feeling depressed at my situation. We've got the highest male suicide rate in decades and I think it's purely because more men than ever are getting turned down by women and feeling like they've failed in life
>>28438028
>tfw no kim pine gfunmute
>>28438209
I am 18 fampai.
>>28437673
Weird to think that Envy won an Oscar.
>>28438153
Humans are social creatures out of necessity. We built societies for mutually assured protection. Yes, we can find happiness and pleasure in each other, but I don't think the active search for and idea that you need a romantic partner is authentic happiness or pleasure.
>The interior of your mind is all ghosts and daydreams
How many trenchcoats do you own?
>>28437673
The team of psychs at the ward referred me to a psychotherapist because "we think you need to develop a relationship with someone even if that's a therapist because you haven't had anything like that"
In other words, yes, my life would be dramatically better if I were to get a gf and form a happy relationship. It would be even better if I could have had a relationship growing up.
>>28438239
You'll be fine, you're a babby. Ignore what the doctors say, seriously everyone deals with anxiety the only way to get over it truely is to put yourself in situations that make it flare up and learn to cope
>read Friday
Just kill my shit up
>>28438271
But that scares me, I hate this self-fulfilling prophecy goddamn it.
>>28438177
>The constant lifeline that I could talk to help me with my problems, that support.
I still don't see why you need to actively search for a girlfriend to rediscover a bond where you can be open with someone. Would you really be loving someone for who they are, or merely using them for your own means?
>>28438185
If I stub my toe, knowing that pain is just my body's way of telling me I've damaged myself doesn't stop it hurting.
>>28438315
True, but it can give you a reason to trivialize/ignore it
>>28438298
>But that scares me
Exactly.
It scares me too. Don't wait until you're 22 like me to start going out and trying to meet people. It's a bit more awkward when you're at the age everyone already has their friend group and long term gfs to try and start fresh.
>>28438314
Ain't that the million dollar question? I mean I don't know, I feel like I did love her for her. Not just what she provided for me. But I don't know if I'm lying to myself or not.
>>28438230
>We've got the highest male suicide rate in decades and I think it's purely because more men than ever are getting turned down by women and feeling like they've failed in life
I highly doubt something as complex as suicide rates, full of unique circumstances and experiences, can be easily explained like that. Even if that were the case, it is pathetic and sad. You shouldn't value your own life on the idea of whether someone will let you call them your girlfriend.
>>28438315
No, but your life also shouldn't be defined by avoiding the pain of stubbing your toe either. Just as your life shouldn't be defined by seeking a relationship just so you can find personal validation.
>>28438359
You've got a point but I've got to look for a job and it's killing me man. It makes me depressed, not the fact of working. I'm lazy, but like I don't want to be a burden and the time for when I HAVE to look for a job is getting closer. pls kill me.
>>28438360
It shouldn't be a question to being with. Obsessing over finding a significant other shouldn't be your focus. A significant other for the sake of having one is not significant at all.
>>28438457
Well I have a shitty memory, but yeah your probably right.
>>28437673
I'm not that obsessed with finding a gf, if I was I would already have one
>>28438040
I've been alone for 25 years. I'm way past the point of doing it for validation.
>>28438157
Any girl who's quirky is considered an MPDG, though. Mabel from Gravity Falls would probably be one because she likes to wear sweaters in the summer.
Yes, being single for a year has been fucking miserable
>>28438010
In searching for this image, I came across this website. Its the cringiest shit ever, off topic but go read this for lulz. Feminists are so sensitive http://strong-female-characters.tumblr.com/post/29956179390/scottpilgrim
>>28438362
but one of the biggest predictors of male suicide is if they are single
>>28438808
I don't believe you. Just by being hung up with your lack of a romantic partner means you are seeking validation.
>>28438814
Yes, MPDG are typically "quirky." No, a MPDG in fiction is a girl, who is much more a plot device than a character, that is used to bring a sad sack MC out of his slump and to find an enthusiasm for life. Quirkiness isn't the defining characteristic of the trope.
>>28438362
>You shouldn't value your own life on the idea of whether someone will let you call them your girlfriend.
Maybe you shouldn't, but people definitely do. And it's hard to tell them they're wrong when they feel it down in their heart.
>>28438900
It is a commonality, but not a causality. Of course people with mental health issues are less likely to establish and keep significant relationships with others.
>>28437673
Because I had a taste of it once, and it was the best I've ever felt, one of the few times I've been genuinely happy.
>>28438965
I'm >>28438054 I agree with you 100% and not having that sucks.
>>28438943
>And it's hard to tell them they're wrong when they feel it down in their heart.
It's not hard to tell them that at all. It's the truth. It may be hard for them to accept that. However, it isn't a negative thing to come to terms with. Quite the contrary. Someone who isn't dependent upon seeking validation through a shallow relationship is better off, and happier for it.
>>28438987
>>28438965
>>28438825
Sounds less like you found happiness in someone else, and more like you were distracted by your own issues with yourself. Having a girlfriend didn't solve your problems, it just kept you from facing them.
>>28438264
>out of necessity
And you're thinking those millions of years of evolutionary conditioning that reinforced those social survival instincts did absolutely nothing to shape how humans find and feel happiness? Even though something as basic as eating has a positive feedback loop that works exactly the same way? I'm not saying this on a spiritual level, I'm saying humans have evolved to find happiness that way because otherwise humans wouldn't be social. Because being social is more advantageous than being asocial for people, therefore we are prone to prefer being social to being alone, and there's plenty of studies on the effects of loneliness that back that up.
And I hate that even moderately flowery phrasing of an idea gets met with le fedora tipping. I'll make sure to put it in a more generic way next time so I don't rankle your sensitivities, you lame fuck.
>>28439022
By taste I don't mean I had a gf, wouldn't be on r9k if I did, I just told her I loved her, she said she did too and we made out and stuff before I found out she'd had a bf the whole time like a week later.
I want you to answers some questions, OP.
How old were you when you first kissed?
How old were you when you had sex for the first time and you had your first gf?
>>28437673
I just want to get my dick wet at this point.
And I dont like the prostitute option, they dont bring the right mood into it.
>>28437926
> we're infinitely more complex than mammals and we smart we go to space!
Somehow I just imagined a planet of the apes simian shrieking monkey noises and proclaiming the superiority of the species. Easy on the hubris there buddy, I know you think we all have some inner god or some shit inside us - but really - we're just animals and most of this shit is biological hardwiring.
>>28439047
Whether or not you are a social person is not defined on having a significant other.
>flowery phrasing
Your talk of "ghosts and daydreams" was not flowery. It was meaningless drivel. Flowery language enhances ideas that have been well expressed. Saying "your mind is all ghosts and daydreams" is senseless. It's something you thought sounded cool, but means nothing.
>>28437673
I'm not really, I just want to have friends and have sex
>>28438298
your a beta bitch
>>28439056
I'm 23 years old, and I've never kissed anyone or had a girlfriend. I've been on dates, but wasn't interested in seeing them again. Yet, I'm perfectly happy and don't feel a need for a relationship for relationships sake. I want others in similar situations to my own to understand that their happiness is within their grasp and it isn't being held by some mystical concept of a girlfriend that solves their personal issues.
>>28439188
Cool dude, at least I know I'm better off than you. Stupid-ass faggot that doesn't even use proper grammar. Why don't you kill yourself, you fucking mongoloid?
>>28437673
Everyday, a girl becomes a whore by losing her virginity
I'm already 20. Time is not on my side
>>28439022
Why you gotta hurt me man? But yeah maybe I shouldn't lean on that other person but I don't mean that I like them only for that. I like them for their other qualities, I was truly in love and we had a great time being around each other. Even if the relationship was unhealthy, you can't say that I didn't love her. But maybe towards the end that's what it became. That's why I was confused but there's your answer.
>>28439232
your a nerd and that makes you better of than me? top kek
I want companionship and the only sort of human being I could have around all the time is something I find attractive and can sleep in the same bed with
a relationship also implies commitment, unlike a "friend" who will just leave without any notice
>>28439317
No but I have to pretend to be tough on the internet when I'm slowly dying on the inside. This is all I've got man, play along :'(
>>28437673
>Why do you think you will find meaning in yourself through other people?
Isn't that how 99.99999% of humanity finds meaning? Not necessarily romantically but through relationships with others. Even in prison solitary confinement is considered the worst punishment.
>>28439358
its creepy when a virgin loser does it though
i used to care about >tfw no gf
but then i became an alcohol, drug addict and found a 2D waifu
>>28439358
That's not the point. The point being is that there are people who are defining their happiness and their self esteem based off of their lack of one arbitrary, and contrived social relationship.
>>28439393
Most people here have no friends at all, saying ">tfw no gf" is just an easy way to express being lonely
Im not
2d waifus 4life
>>28439229
I agree with OP here. I used to have the mindset of /r9k/, but after about a year of therapy it dawned on me that relationships font suddenly grant you happiness. Sure, they might damn well make you feel better, but if you are unhappy with your life just boning a girl isn't going to turn that all around. For me, I'm working on making sure I'm happy with myself as I am before actively working on being in a relationship. It turned out a lot of the anxieties I felt about talking to girls were just my own perceived flaws.
>>28439407
This is true, I cosign this. It's hard to be alone for most of your days, it gets at you. There's just a biological need to be social. Robots aren't usually capable of it, only true degenerates are 100% ok with being alone.
Tfw have no desire to date or for companionship
Is everyone here just horny with the idea of sex in the relationship or do they actually just want companionship. If so why not find companionship in another guy/robot and try it. The fact that you'll have to say it's female companionship points out that it's purely sexual. No woman is interesting. No woman can hold an intellectual conversation and no woman can understand your depression because they will never face men's issues.
>>28439393
but your basic normie hates being single or at least not being able to rub genitals together every other day. why is it wrong when a virgin is lonely for the same reason?
>>28439426
I never said it was fine for normies either. It is still pathetic in their case.
>>28439393
>tfw it took an acid trip to realize how true this is and how people (especially women) are desperate for re-assurance all the time
>>28437673
tfw i didn't want a gf n a girl asked to take me out on my birthday, I didn't wanna be mean so I said yes, that was over 4 years ago and we're really happy together.
>>28440132
I'm glad for you anon, wish I had that :'(
>>28437673
I've held a girl before. My chest feels like a hollowed shell right now. Just seeing a girl smile sort of makes my heart warmer.
>>28440188
Learn and practice Epicureanism, just live with some bros, that's what I'm setting up for.
I just want to know what it's like to have someone be romantically interested in me. I want to try new things with them. I feel pretty shitty for not being able to convince someone I was worth something.
>>28440267
You are worth something anon, I'm desperate for a GF too, but that doesn't mean that if you get one you'll feel fulfilled. I feel hypocritical but I want to let you know that. It'll be fine anon.
Because I live by myself and I'm really fucking lonely.
"Why do you think you will find meaning in yourself through other people?"
Maybe because i don't know, it's the nature of every human ? Even high-level philosopher couldnt find meaning in themselves alone
>>28437673
Sex, just sex, nothing more than sex.
>>28437673
What show is she from?
>>28440569
Have a (you)
Also note that sometimes it's better to be alone than be around people that are mean to you B-)
Actually, find a supportive and positive gf boosted my life's motivation.
>>28437673
Knives>Ramona
I'm sorry this has to be said
>>28437673
HOW ARE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW THIS ?
>>28437673
I feel like I just cant kill myself before trying a relationship.
>>28440875
There isn't even anyone around me that's mean to me, I'm just by myself most of the time because I'm bad at talking to people. And I'm bad at talking to people because I'm by myself most of the time. I'm in good shape and I've been rated a solid 6/10 by a few people, but I just have zero fucking charisma.
>>28437715
heh
its always something
>>28437715
you are spooked. Read Max Stirner's the Ego and it's Own, or alternatively, stop browsing /pol/.
I don't really want a casual gf for sex only.
I want a serious relationship and I feel like none of the girls in my town want the same.
I think all the girls I'd consider gf material became single moms or are already in a relationship.
>>28437673Because I got one : ^ )
>>28437673
...says the woman who has sex offered to her on a daily basis by a number of strangers, some of which she'll take up when in the mood to take the number of guys she's fucked into three figures, whilst you can count yourself lucky on getting to fuck one chick a year.
>>28440132
Get OUT
fuck why the fuck do you people visit my board
>>28440864
Could any robot please respond?
>>28443603
Scott pilgrim original desu
>>28437673
>Why do you think you will find meaning in yourself through other people?
Because, unless you have a shitload of money so that you can finance various creative projects (that are still really only valuable in relation to other people), that's the only thing you can hope for in life, as far as self-actualization as a human being goes.
It is the mark of a beta male who despairs over not being able to have a girlfriend.
ISIS is full of young angry men with this same sentiment on their mind. Maybe you should make like Allah and Ackbar you queers.
Women control your life. The thing you hate is why you live...to hate it and cry about it on line like a fucking tampon, soaking up the self pity.
>>28438177
>ex
no wonder you are just a beta. Women don't want to hear about you're emo problems
>>28437673
Because that's how humans are fucking made.
The sense of life is to keep life going.
Yet we were all rejected from it
and the only thing we can do is to crave
To crave until we rot.
We were made incapable, yet with the same needs
>>28438123
So, you want to find a short term gf?
>>28437673
Because your value in life is decided by other people. That's how it works.
No-one gives a shit if you like yourself.
I'm not trying to find a gf, if one were to fall into my lap I wouldn't be opposed to the idea but I am happy with my life as it is and see no real reason to actively pursue something that seems like an awful lot of work with the potential for some large negatives.
Maybe it's because I'm a khv at 30 years old who has finally turned his life around, I now have a good well paying job, gotten fit and good looking and have friends now and I am not filled with hormones like you younger kids are? I dunno, I have everything in life I could want right now, why potentially screw it all up by letting some strange woman into my life?
>>28444772
This. Also, if you are happy with your self, girls like that, and you are actually probably more likely to find someone then most of the desperate robots on here.
>>28444986
>just put yourself out there lol
>but don't put yourself out there, jus b urself and they'll come to you
>>28444593
>caring about other people and their uninformed opinions
>>28446047
The most important factor to your success in life is what other people think of you.
Take off your fedora/black eyeliner and accept it. Deal with it.
>>28446259
>The most important factor to your success in life is what other people think of you.
Sounds like a fun "life."
What would you rather be doing? The same old shit you always do by yourself or the same old shit you've always been doing but with a qt who adores you waiting for you at the end of the day?
Having a gf seems to make everything easier. Worried about that job interview or exam you feel like you're about to blow? Now how about getting a text from your gf like 'good morning babe! You can do this I know you can! Love you! :* and we're catching up on *insert show* tonight!!'
Having someone you care about who cares about you just as much gives me much more drive in everything I do, otherwise everything feels dull and pointless.
