>that day you realized everyone can smell the cum but you
>>28435730
>it smells salty in here anon
>>28435730
>tfw mom picks up my cum filled socks and cleans my fleshlight out sometimes.
I know, isn't it great? Everyone can smell me and knows I'm a beta virgin loser just from the scent.
No way, OP, I don't want to believe in you.
>>28435730
>"it's kind of hot in here, why don't we open this window, just for some air"
I know she smelt it, I just fucking know it
WHAT? for how long can the smell stay in a room ???????
I don't cum on myself but I jack off into a tissue before bed. Do I always smell like cum?
Shit.
>>28435730
When I found that out in high school it was because I kept fucking my girlfriend in my small ass room and my step-mom had a sex talk with me one day after she walked into my room when my gf left and I saw her sniffing the air.
I cum on myself when I jack.
Oh no.
>>28435730
I used to care, but I came home one day and my cum rags were all washed. I keep them in my room with the door closed.
My parents used it empty my trash can full of cumrags then they stopped after a few times desu. Also used to leave my desk with jizz splatter all over it because I was too lazy to clean it
>>28435730
>you really think that?
>>28436157
>gf
get out normalslime
>>28436097
>>28436112
Please open a window
>>28435730
It's because you're used to it
I started cumming under my dad's bed so he would become accustomed to the smell and would stop pestering me about how my room stunk
>>28436112
>>28436141
It's very permeating especially if you
- fap daily
- don't wash your dick after fapping
- keep the tissues/cum sock in the room
- keep your doors and windows closed all the time
- fap long enough for your dick sauce to diffuse into the air
>Anon, it smells like boy in here!
Is the smell on us or in our room?
>>28436349
oh shit, is that what she meant?
>jacking off on the first floor balcony of my appartment
>couple of little girls see me
>scream "he's having sex!" while running away
Gotta love their innocence. Or lack thereof from that day on.
>>28436297
Holy fuck hahaha
>>28436349
my room smells like hamsters
I could leave the windows open and the fan on all day and the smell won't change.
Plus, I haven't had a hamster for eight years now and I've changed rooms.
Does this mean I'm a furry?
>>28435730
ever walk into someone elses room and wonder why it smells like them? thats because they jerk it daily. i have to open my window every morning or else it smells like dick sweat.
>mfw I used to jizz on my shirt, roll it up and go sleep every night for years
>>28436350
On you and in the air
Why does the cum scent differ on virgins who fap once a and Chads who fuck once a day?
>>28436349
>6 months ago
>aunt makes a surprise visit
>I say hi and retreat to my room as usual
>she wanders into my room for the first time
>I get up and greet her to prevent her from going further
>she whiffs the air, gasps, grins and playfully smacks my chest and says "anon..~"
>pulls me back to the living room with the rest of the family
>>28436431
Maybe you adapted hamster pheromonesor you were smelling yourself all that time, it wasn't the hamster
>>28436489
She wanted the d desu
>>28436487
Virgins keep the cum while chad dumps the cum inside one of stacy's various holes.
>>28436489
She thought you had sex.
>buy a box of odour fighting kitchen garbage bags
>every jerkoff session grab a fresh bag
>jizz in an 8-10x folded line of toilet paper
>place paper into bag
>clean dick with more toilet paper
>put all toilet paper into bag
>wrap bag up in an airtight seal. And throw it in the main bedroom garbage.
>do this daily and take out garbage at the end of the week
>keep window open
No smell faggots, also cleanest way to fap mess free
>>28436034
are you fucking serious.
the cringe is strong with this one
>mfw jerk it but instead of cumming, grip dick like vice when about to cum
bretty clean senpai, no smell either
>>28436580
I just the throw the paper on the toilet, then flush.
Eat all your cum after fapping. No smell, as long as you brush your teeth.
>>28436612
are you surprised?
the normie is strong with this one
>>28436266
I've been here since the very first /r9k/ board, can't force me out, I am here forever.
>trash can filled with used cum rags in my room
i never bothered to smell them
holy shit i never thought of this
good thing i never let people in my room
>>28436612
I leave my fleshlight out and sometimes I find it moved and cleaned out. I don't ask her to do it.
also she does my laundry.
>>28436620
Pretty sure this gives u a 100% chance of prostate cancer
>>28436621
I used to do that until I began fapping to hentai games
>>28436621
>throwing cum and paper down the drain
You're asking for clogged pipes.
>>28436770
I have been doing this for years and never had any problem of that sort.
>>28436497
I choose the former
>>28436621
>not just cumming directly in the toilet
>tfw I live alone.
>Whole apartment smells like cum and pizza
>If someone has to come over for some reason I clean like a maniac
>>28436818
Yea that sounds like a great idea.
>fapping in room
>about to cum
>start running towards the bathroom to cum in toilet
>cum half way through and make a gooey mess in the hallway
>>28436818
I don't have a fucking computer at my bathroom.
>tfw I beat off in other rooms when my family isn't home in hopes that the smell of my room won't be so strong
>>28436909
>God damn it he mastubated in the living room again
>remember all of that embarrassing stuff you did when you were young?
>they all remember it too
>>28436903
>>28436884
>not having porn on your phone
>not sitting on the toilet to jack off
we are in a great and glorious age of porno-convenience and it brigns me shame that no-one else takes advantage of it
>>28436936
>>28436909
God when I was a teenager I would mainly masturbate in the living room... God I realize how much of an idiot I was
>>28435730
i shower once a month so im sure that overpowers it
>>28436770
It's toilet paper you fucking moron, do you not live in a first world country?
>>28436770
>flushing tp
>causing problems
What?
Do you stick your tp on the trash when you wipe your ass or something?
>>28437171
People in 3rd world countries do that. They also wipe their ass with their bare hands.
>>28436297
What the fuck
kljkljh
>>28436984
I don't like to fap where other people piss and shit you degenerate.
>>28437000
If it makes you feel any better famlam. I used to fap at the park on my way to school when I was 12.
>>28436698
Why does this turn me on...
I think it's an invitation anon.
![(C83)_[AHOBAKA_(aho)]_Anedori_wa_Shiranu_Oroko_to_Yoru_ni_Naku_[English]_[MintVoid]_-_2016-04-19_05.53.37.png](https://i.imgur.com/QHHhQUE.png "(C83)_[AHOBAKA_(aho)]_Anedori_wa_Shiranu_Oroko_to_Yoru_ni_Naku_[English]_[MintVoid]_-_2016-04-19_05.53.37.png")
>>28435730
>you suddenly realize why you mom always insists on keeping the door open while saying it's hot and muggy
Why is this thread so arousing to me?
Am I just that disgusting?
>>28436514
yeah she wanted the d I think so too
>>28437470
Because it's almost fap-thirty
And you're a dirty boy that needs to be taught a lesson
Doesnt semen smell like chlorine?
It smells like a swimmimg pool in here.
Why the hell does it smell like chlorine anyways. Out of all the smells. Hows it smell like that?
What the fuck do you mean, what is that smell?
>>28437533
It's got proteins and shit in it. Acids and stuff.
>>28437000
I did too because that's where the only PC in the house was.I used to look at softcore porn, but not jerk off, with my parents in the same room watching TV. The PC was sort of off at an angle relative to the TV so I thought they couldn't see what I was doing but they easily could, I have no idea what the fuck I was thinking and I wish they would have just said something so I wouldn't be cursed with these humiliating memories.
>Clean up after yourself
>Open window, turn on fan
>Shower
BOOOOOOM, it's that easy.
Btw, your parents know, you all have bad discipline
My semen smells awful. I don't know how it's supposed to smell t.b.h
>>28437614
>btw your parents know
and? I'm a grown man and I'll fucking fap when I want to,
Why don't you guys just jack it in the toilet?
>>28437000
I masturbated in the living room and came on the cushions. They were dark green and after a while they were permanently covered in jizz. I can't believe I thought my parents wouldn't notice.
>>28435730
>>28435999
>>28436034
>>28436062
>>28436097
>>28436100
>>28436112
>>28436141
>>28436157
>>28436160
>>28436201
>>28436257
>>28436266
>>28436297
>>28436307
>>28436349
>>28436350
>>28436388
>>28436389
>>28436408
>>28436431
>>28436454
>>28436462
>>28436487
>>28436489
>>28436497
>>28436514
>>28436527
>>28436543
>>28436580
>>28436612
>>28436620
>>28436621
>>28436630
>>28436641
>>28436661
>>28436685
>>28436696
>>28436909
>>28436936
>>28436962
>>28436984
>>28437000
>>28437057
>>28437171
>>28437206
>>28437285
>>28437337
>>28437428
>>28437451
>>28437470
>>28437474
>>28437523
>>28437533
>>28437576
>>28437585
>>28437605
>>28437614
>>28437651
>he doesn't know what it smells like
pic very much related, if you came within 12 hours ago and haven't washed you literally smell like cum rings
IF you eat these, you also smell like cum
>>28437451
>I NEVER REALISED THIS
>ALWAYS HAPPENS
>>28437337
I just do it for the convenience factor. It's easier than making sure jism doesn't fly onto my desk or floor.
>>28437665
you get me
>tfw used literal cumsocks for years as a teenager
>tfw they made my sock drawer and to some extent my whole room smell literally fucking rancid but my mummy still put away my clean laundry for me, including socks
to this day i have no idea what the fuck she must have thought
she never mentioned it, not even covertly, and she never seemed reluctant to go into my room or at all disgusted by the product of my jizzing habits
I don't care. I find it hilarious when everyone complains about the smell. I don't wash for a week at a time, I fap 2-3 times a day using a cum t shirt I haven't washed in a year. I keep my used tissues in my drawers since I cba getting rid of them. It's not like they know what the smell of cum is right? At least it keeps them out of my room.
>tfw stepdad found your full box of used tissues behind your drawer while cleaning your room, while you were on holiday.
>tfw found my school bag of used tissues hidden under my mums bed
>tfw no doubt told my mum about itnoshame
I love the smell of my cum. So manly and musky.
Yet I hear so many guys say it smells bad. Guess its cause I'm bi.
>>28437665
>implying I don't cum in the sink most of the times
silly you
>>28436297
>I started cumming under my dad's bed so he would become accustomed to the smell and would stop pestering me about how my room stunk
ahaha dude what
>>28437751
bro
you cum in the sock, and then throw it into the dirty clothes. it gets cleaned, and your mom aint the wiser. especially if you're the one who loads the clothes into the machine
>>28437778
>I love the smell of my cum. So manly and musky.
>Yet I hear so many guys say it smells bad. >Guess its cause I'm bi.
Yeah, bifag here. That's probably why
If it makes you guys feel any better I used to nut all over my carpet and not even attempt to clean it. There was nearly a decade of loads soaked into it when I finally moved out.
I have zero self-awareness.
>>28435730
Oh, I know they can smell it, and I don't give a fuck.
I cum in my boxers then go to work.
I cum in them 4-12x a day for a week before washing.
When I was 13 I had a cum towel, not a rag a full sized red towel that was probably crunchy. I kept it in my closet behind some stuff and when we moved, I didnt get to the towel on time to dispose of it, everybody probably saw it, my mom, uncle and grandma.
Also have heard the "ew it smells like boy in here" from old women
holy fucking shit I thought this is a bait thread but it's not. fuck.. this explains why I could sometimes smell my semen but I thought it's only my imagination and no one else can.
Oh well, time for /nofap/ I guess or at least fapping only in bathroom
>go to college
>do my laundry for the first time
>only now do I realise how obvious the cum stains are on the inside of my boxers
>every single pair has a stain on it
>my mom must have been aware of this for years
Of course your parents know you masturbate, you seriously thought they didn't think their twenty-something shut-in loser of a son didn't jerk it daily?
>tfw realizing this is probably a major factor as to why I got kicked out
>almost done with everything cleaned up and disposed of but
>dorm roommate comes back from class before i opened the window
>"have you been cooking?"
Shit...
>garbage overrides smell of cum
>>28438135
>have you been cooking?
Does your cum smell like BBQ or something
>>28438187
No, his room mate is so accustomed to the taste of anon's cum, that he associates the smell with cooking
>>28436837
Haha I'm staring at a pizza box right now
>At least we both have to clean occasionally for guests... maybe there's some hope for us
>>28438257
There's always hope senpai.
I feel a second wind forming for me. I'm a late bloomer, the college years have been a precursor to my true prime.
>>28438187
No. But it reminds me of microwaved salami smell.
>>28438308
Godspeed, anon
>We're all gonna make it
>>28435730
When I was younger I had a cum shirt. It never occurred to me to us tissues or a rag. I just kept it in the back of my closet. Swear to god. After awhile I'd just throw it in the washer or out and use a different shirt.
I'm glad I live alone now.
>>28438420
Thanks anon, you too
origami
>>28438435
I've taken pictures of mine and posted them on /jp/ every once in a while over the last few years.
pic related, this shirt used to be white.
always kept mine between my mattress and the wall, for easy fap access. I just jacked off, came in it, wiped my dick with it, and went to bed.
super crunchy, super musky, stained both inside and out.
I cum right into my underwear. Im trying to stop but I have developed a habit after years. My dick instantaneously gets hard every time I lie down. Its like I trained it like a motherfucking Pavlovs dog. Before I know it my hand is already jerking off.
Please help. I know its smells horrible I want to end this
>divorced parents
>shared custody
>come home to mom's house
>go intro room
>it's neatly cleaned
>jizz rag gone
T-t-thanks mom...
>>28437718
Its rather annoying to include this many people in a reply
>>28438535
You should stop wearing underwear.
>>28436307
Oh fuck, my room must be cum central... Fuck.
I'm gonna kill myslef now bye
>>28436307
i do all this and my room still smells like weed and vodka sweat , checkmate
>>28438666
Indeed, cancer post desu
i live in a flat a few stories up
i just jizz out of the window into the garden when i fap, no mess
>>28436580
>clean with tissue
>not wet wipes
Yeah you still reek of cum
>>28438187
Mine smells like vanilla pancake batter
Wonder what it tastes like....
>>28438107
>major factor as to why I got kicked out
Top zozzle
>>28438535
>Pavlov's Dogs
Busted a fucking gut
>tfw want a feminine penis gf to spurt all over my face
>don't have it, so sometimes i get so horny i save up a huge load and push myself up against the wall to cover myself
>always take a shower right after to get the scent off
I w-wouldn't wash of thr smell of girlcock though..
Please tell me everyone in this thread is memeing.....please?
>>28436388
>>28436349
Oh shit. I've made a horrible mistake. Just kill me now.
If you fucks shower or take out your garbage, then nobody will smell anything.
The only way for people to smell it is if you cum on yourself and let it sit for hours, or if you leave your tissues/sock/whatever in your room for hours.
>>28438522
>read this post
>remember my cum underwear
>used this underwear for almost 3 years to wipe the cum of my dick
>just threw it into some corner afterwards
>after a few months it a got all yellow and crunchy
>whole room smells like salty rotten food
>stop using it and hide in the closet
>searched for it a few minutes a go to take a picture
>it's gone
>mfw mom found the cum underwear
It's worth it for the convenience of just pulling a sock out from under my bed, slipping it on my dick, cumming in it and then throwing it right back under there
There's really no better alternative
Why the fuck do people cum anywhere other than just in a tissue and flush? Having a cum rag/sock/towel etc is disgusting and i wish people who cum on the desk/wall/floor/sheets would have to wear a sign so i could avoid them in every day life.
>>28440775
Trying to aim your cumshot into a tissue is a fucking bitch
>>28440820
This thread changed me.
But worse than reeking of cum without realizing it is having dry cum glued to your leg hair in public because you didn't know it was possible
I remember going to classes like that
>>28439269
Keked hard at this masterpiece
>>28440820
But if you get some toilet tissue and lay it like a runway on your stomach then it's not.
Are you people honestly too retarded to even masturbate without making it a hideous mess?
>this entire fucking (original) thread
>>28441305
If you do that you gotta take off your shirt, gotta make sure you're not angling your dick too far upwards, gotta make sure it's not bent off to the side, the tissue slips all over the place, and my cum shots are pretty huge tissue's aren't really resistant enough
Shit's a lot more effect than just using a sock anyway
>>28440820
what the fuck are you serious? grab a bunch of tissues and cover your dick with them just before you nut, it's not rocket science, anon!
>>28441441
That would leave a bunch of gaps n shit and your hand would get soggy
>>28436034
My mom cleans my cum-stained boxers. It's really embrassing.
>tfw parents see the big yellowish crusty stain on the side of my mattress from years of wiping cum off on it
Umm I must have spilled juice on it.
>>28441513
What? No it wouldn't. How retarded are you?
This thread is stirring up some embarrassing memories 2bh
>>28436696
This gif makes me extremely uncomfortable.
kkkvkigdujfridsriiguanyu
>usually cum and go directly to the shower
>one time a day or twice before I shower
>have fitness test at the gym in 30 min
>feel like rubbing out a quick one
>decide to do it and shower at the gym
>cum on tummy and wipe it with boxers from the inside while wearing them
>arrive at gym first day
>receptionist remembers me from the day before when I registered
>tells me to come with her to the fitness test room
>girl and guy coaches walk in
>introduce themselves
>tell me what this test is about
>"alright anon, take your shirt off"
>forgot about the cum
>take shirt off
>there was a white ashy stain on my belly but it could of been anything
>no smell
>they take some measurements
>then strap a heart rate monitor and some other stuff
>put me on a treadmill
>try to talk to me while i run
>start sweating.... pouring sweat
>cum smell is released
>guy coach starts smelling himself and checking
>girl coach says it smells weird
>guy coach asks her to leave for a bit
>tells me to come tomorrow showered and clean because he can't take the smell
>pretend I don't know what he is talking about
>"don't act dumb anon, you jerked off, this doesn't help with your performance anyways. And please shower after you're done."
>spine feels like ice
>stop treadmill
>don't even want to go to the shower now
>on my way out
>girl coach tells me to come with her so we can compile a diet for me
>tell her I have to go something came up
>she walks up to me
>"oh that smell was you?"
>S-Sorry I wanted to
>"just go home and shower and comeback tomorrow"
they were really chill about it but I never stepped foot in that gym or any other gym ever since...
Have you all seriously not discovered eating your cum? You eat all the other disgusting bodily fluids which are more prone to bacteria. Cum despite what roasties say is almost completely flavorless.
>>28441671
not a fag desu
>>28436307
Well, now I know why my room smells like absolute ass. I'll probably get an air freshener later so I stop getting complaints from Dad.
>>28441685
It's not gay to eat your own cum.
>>28441740
It kinda is, though. Not that I care or anything, but the thought of doing that is disgusting to me.
>>28441777
But the thought of eating boogers or blowing a load into a sock repeatedly or wiping it off on a mattress and having it congeal and smell isn't? You've just been trained to believe eating cum is degrading and not wasting resources.
>>28441685
>Giving yourself a handjob isn't gay but swallowing the aftermath is
sure
>>28437718
No one likes it when you reply to everyone in the thread you faggot
>>28441805
>not cleaning your shit
>>28441809
Masturbation is not inherently gay, eating your own cum is.
>>28437945
My sister mentioned the Cum stains on my boxers when she was bitching about not wanting to do laundry. Never let anyone else do it after that.
>>28441836
>eating your cum is inherently gay
How so?
Fuck, are you guys serious? I don't know if I'll be able to ever look my mom in the eye again. Ignorance is bliss.
>>28441836
>jerking a dick off to completion, and enjoying it isn't gay
>>28441872
>>28441881
Eating a man's cum is to be enjoyed by gay men or women. But then again, I don't really care.
>youve gone nose blind
>buy febreeze
>>28436034
holy sucking shit i came to post the same. not the fleshlight though. i cum daily in this white sock and i hide it under my bed. it became brown and my mom once said there was a smell and took my shoes out of my room. now i wash the sock every month
>>not using wet whipes
jesus christ you guys
>>28441950
Enjoying it and not letting it stain things or wasting tissue paper are two different things.
>>28441619
What kind of gym is this??
Fucking heart monitors on treadmills?
I know they can smell it but im just such an emptu husk that i no longer care
FUCK
I always came in my boxers for a year and I just noticed there's a yellow stain on them all. Kill me family.
>>28437718
Congratulations, you replied to everybody in this thread! You must feel like you really got your point across
>mfw this thread
Why don't you guys just do your own laundry? The machine does most of the work for you. It's not hard and you'll spare your mom the horror of peeling apart your cum covered cloths, the poor woman.
>>28441619
hhahahahahaha, ah man this can't be true?
Just how retarded are some of you?
>grab lots of toilet paper
>FOLD it many times
>hold it right next to your dick when nutting
>make sure its under and right in front of your dick to catch weak/powerful shots too
WOW SCIENCE
>>28442653
that completely ruins the fun
blowing your load halfway across the room is the best part of fapping
>>28442456
Tbh she deserves it for raising a defective human being
>>28437718
Next time only include the OP's post.
Shit like this is the reason people can't stand tripfags, tagging every post desperate for attention.
>>28437778
Femanon here, watching you guys talking about this is turning me on. Its just too bad I never had to opportunity to creep in a locker room
>>28442812
Please go fucking hang yourself.
You have no worth on this board and you only mention your gender to get attention and orbiters.
>TEEHEE IMMA GRILL AND IM SO WET X33333333
Go fuck yourself.
>>28442906
Woah there bro, is SOMEBODY TRIGGERED? :D HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING FAGGOT IS MAD
I used to have a selection of cum socks. Gradually my collection kept growing, and I ended up stuffing them all in a laptop bag, and the barely all fit. I don't even know what I was thinking, it's not like my mom wouldn't notice a third of my socks and boxers going missing. You can't know how much I protected that damn laptop bag.
I ended up burning them all a few years later, and the smell was quite pungent.
@28442926
Either a roastie trying to look like "one of the guys teehee" or a cuckold rushing to defend milady.
Either way, you're not getting a (You) from me.
Kill yourself
It has only been in the last year that I've started using tissues in my bedroom.
Whenever I masturbated in my bed I would just cum on the sheets. After a few weeks cumming on the sheets everynight the smell would get bad and there would be stains all over it. The worst part is my mum cleans my sheets and there is no way she couldn't have noticed.
After I jerk off I wipe and put aftershave around my crotch. The scented alcohol + cum smell is irresistable to women
>>28435730
my mate used to fap and then cum on the carpet, then cover the carpet with a rug (so i was told by another mate who was told when other mate was drunk)
i always wondered why he used to plaster his room with aftershave (you dirty fucker nessy)
From 14-17 i just cummed on the blanket i slept in
Im not proud of it, espefially by the end where it had all these fucking brown stains
>>28437665
i need to watch porn to cum
ye it's sad
>"It smells like fish in here"
>>28442926
Nah sis, you're nasty af if this thread turns you on in anyway
>used to wipe cum on quilt my grandma made me.
>tfw I realized how much of a degenerate I used to be.
>>28443181
Take your phone into the toilet and wank to doujins
Thats what i do whenever i visit the family
>>28437751
>>tfw they made my sock drawer and to some extent my whole room smell literally fucking rancid but my mummy still put away my clean laundry for me, including socks
This legitimately still happens at my house expect I'm 25 now, I just put stuff in the way of my draws so she has to dump the clothes on my chair.
I've tried telling her countless times to stop coming in here but she is too OCD about having a clean house.
>>28436621
found the poo in loo
>fag28443030
Lol you kill yourself breh. Someone takes LIFE way too seriously
JUST USE A FUCKING TISSUE YOU DAFT SHITE
>LOOK AT PORNO
>AIM
>SHOOT
>FOLD UP
>FLUSH
Just like that
>>28443181
that's why there's mobile porn sites anon
>>28436620
Doing this gave me a cyst of semen senpai, don't do it
>blow load into boxers
>start playing vidya
>body heat rises from intense game play
>smell this wonderful scent emanating from my crotch
>tfw cum soaked undies are acting as a diffuser
>tfw ripping a fat wiff of my armpit bo and the cum at the same time
>tfw putting my nose in my shirt and taking my waistline+bottom of shirt and using them together like bellows to blast the scent into the back of my skull
every morning my mom comes in the room to wake me up and says my room stinks... I think it's just the smell of my asshole marinating all night, not cum though
>>28440217
i've done this in the shower. hurt my neck a little bit desu. and some cum got in my eye.
i kinda want to suck a girlcock too
>>28443384
i'm a poor fag who only has a nokia n6310i and a k800i
(i'm not sure what vids would play on the k800)
>>28443539
>some cum got in my eye
Literally the worst thing that can happen to you while fapping
>>28443030
The newfaggotry is strong with this nigger
>>28443373
>AIM
Even that is too much to ask these days. I used to have the decency to wipe off after cumming on my stomach, I used to have the decency to take off my boxers and shirt, now I just yoink it through my boxer flap and cum on shirt.
>>28437718
Glad this thread continued without this cuntery
>>28436527
you mean like a dumpster of sorts. one used for specifically for cum?
like a...cum..dumpster?
i used to live for a few years with my two sisters and the bf of one of them, they treated me like shit but i had nowhere to go at the time so they let me stay with them while i was at uni
they were passive aggressive to me and neglecting so i got pissed off and just let myself go, i was shitting and farting at weird times while they were trying to sleep, never did anything to help them, never talked to them, wanked a few times each day and only took showers every 2-3 days so i basically always smelled like cum and i was actually enjoying myself because i am pretty sure they sensed it but they are prudish as fuck about me so they never said a thing
the guy also hated faggots so once he asked me to use my pc to look up something, let him enjoy the opened shemale tabs and knowing he is paying bills and cooks food for a guy that enjoys that kind of stuff
all this paired with my sweaty body smell and slimy dick smell just made me even hornier and i fapped like a mad dog in heat, unfortunately my sister got pregnant and now they kicked me out, fuck them desu i hated living with them anyway i hope they never forget the cum smell
>>28435730
>have two cushions on my computer chair
>when i jack off i lift the top one
>flip the bottom one so the cummy side is up
>cum in that general direction
>cum sometimes goes insane and i shoot on the chair itself or behind it
>usually all of it lands on the bottom cushion
>cover it with top cushion
>flip bottom cushion whenever i go out of my room so the clean side is up
>if i sit too long my ass sweats
>the cushions smell like bread and my entire room smells like fucking bread
And sometimes i just turn around on the chair and cum on the carpet to see how far can i shoot.
>>28442653
i have tiny balls so my cum hardly makes it across a tissue let alone across the room
>>28440775
You haven't truly lived until you've just laid back and let the cum fly. Catching cum is so restrictive, it takes away a lot of pleasure.
>>28444095
Forgot to add that sometimes in the morning, as my dick is already hard, i jack off and cum in my bed sheets. Shit feels amazing, especially when hugging a pillow with my free hand.
>>28444160
This is why I use a cumrag. It's much larger than a tissue so it's also much easier to catch all of your cum with it.
>>28444095
>mom found the cum cushion
Used to just cum on the floor, thought it disappears.
Did this for years. Almost every time family came around they said my room smelt of boy and meditation. They used meditation as a code word for what I was doing and I never caught on.
>>28444045
subareshi anon-kun
>>28444202
I just pretended nothing happened. Jacked off on them as soon as they were dry and back in my chair.
Also it helps that i'm a smoker and i have to smell out of the window, so most of the cigarette smell comes back in and my room just smells like smoke.
And i keep empty wine bottles in empty corners of my room because they look nice, but some of them smell terrible.
![feee725d68[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/kEJoued.jpg "feee725d68[1].jpg")
>Come home
>Chair seat was sprayed down and cleaned
T-thanks mom.
>>28436454
Tfw i did this too
>>28437605
I remember the shame of having to watch anime on the family computer, before I had a phone or computer of my own. I would get up at 5 in the morning, and when people started waking up I would drape a blanket around myself and the computer. Time doesn't heal all wounds.
>>28444045
>unfortunately my sister got pregnant and now they kicked me out
Lmao
I'd be your friend irl
>>28441619
Are you serious? Holy shit.
>>28441619
this is almost as bad as that one time I had penis inspection day
>be on antischizo meds
>no cum anymore
>>28436487
Theres a differing amount of chemicals released when having sex with a female.
Than you're hand.
>Thats why he likes pussy to to the bacterias she holds.
the scent is there to ward off women.
we are using our own instincts against us, since they are not there for our benefit but for the benefit of the species.
we need to figure out a way to trick nature that isn't the difficult option of countering our porn addictions or changing the tendency for hypergamy.
>>28436729
Well first his body will use whats not ejaculated, increasing the density of the penis when it forms into fatty tissue... obviously remnant clots are possible over long periods of none ejaculated and masturbation... he might also sweat more often with the release of toxicity, and a balancing of bodily regulatory factors, making him feel healthier, stronger, less, and more mindful.
A strong healthy male, should be just fine with short or long periods of retention of the seed.
However, masturbation and retention, might be considered a high risk factor if done over very long periods of time, due to said blockages, i.e potential tumor growths {remnants/non foreign tissue/organism} but bad personal tissues..
Done it for yrs, {over 30} goes straight to the brain and cock and immune system, dependent on diet, but mainly protein levels, an evidential fact..
Your likely to get prostate if protein levels are to high, need more vitc fruits.
>>28436884
funniest shit I've read recently. made me lol since a very long time. or maybe I'm starting to /losing it/
Should buy a whole cow an eat that over its shelf life expectancy.
Due to body taking in multi diet, of many different foods from all around the world, body is fighting hard battle...
To recover fater in times of bad health...
Eat same foods, every day for upto 3 mnts.
Should see changes in a few weeks, but a month seems to short, maybe 6wks
example: fish un rice everyday, but has to be from same animal, same field of rice, etc...
{gets your body use to taking it in an breaking down said 'memory food'
Hard as fuck body cleansing diet... Hercules diet, Andromeda diet.
Food of the Gods...as above.
>"anon, can I use your laptop to search for something"
One wrong key press could have shown my sister a lesbian scat porn video, those were some tense times.
How can you make ejaculating feel better?
>>28436641
Nah that's pretty disgusting even by 4chan standards
>>28446086
>even by 4chan standards
oh boy, the newfag is strong with this one
>>28440548
>not tossing it into the laundry hamper
>not having the other laundry render your cum incognito
Hidden in plain sight
>>28436160
I feel you completely
>>28436696sauce pls originalu
>>28435730
>mom tells you to put your laundry in the washroom
>"I'll just p-put them in the washer."
>'I haven't started it yet, that's why I said just throw them down there.'
>mom's going to touch your stiff as a board underwear and smell the stench of rotting cum
>end up handwashing your cumstained clothes in bathroom sink when no ones home
>family member asks to use your computer
>all they have to do is type x or m and see all my fucked up xvideos or motherless fetish videos
>p a n i c
>>28446292
There are some easy way to avoid this:
1.Clear history before letting them use the computer
2.If the family member is inexperienced in PCs, then open Internet explorer ( or edge whatever) instead of your usual browser.
Also to prevent this, just use incognito mode when you watch porn.If you want to save some good links, then copy them in a secured notepad instead of your bookmarks section.
>>28446292
use the incognito mode in chrome (aka porn mode)
>>28446031
Edge. Also I stand up before I jizz and hold my testicles. Doing it sitting feels good too but I'm trying to figure out how to keep jerking it and not get jizz all over myself.
>>28446292
>family member wants me to open a file
>right click the explorer icon
>"Frequent"
>folder called "Simpcest" is listed
>>28446292
activate the guest account. no problems.
>>28446460
If a family member ever found my extensive r34 folder id either run away or kill myself in shame
>use undies to fap
>get sores on my dick
>fap next day and the scabs half peel off
It's like those birds who eat the ticks off a giraffe, but would drink the blood from a laceration and keep the wound open
>>28435730
>implying that's not why they like me on some subconscious level.
I usually fap every night and jizz on my lower chest ( I lie down sorta) and wipe it off with toilet paper then go to sleep, then shower every morning.
Also did anyone else used to wipe their cum on the bedsheets? I used to do it years back and now my duvet has yellow stains all over the edges and corners.
>Anon, your duvet is filthy, what are those stains??
>>28435730
i just cum inside of my girlfriend and then she leaks it onto one of her shirts
Are you serious? I used to jerk off in my bed from like 12-17 and always wiped down with my favorite soft blanket. Now I use tissue after I cum on my chest. Jesus, I just masturbated and came all over my chest an hour ago and wiped down. 2 minutes later I walked shirtless to the kitchen where my grandma was. Are you telling me she smelled it?! I really hope this is just trolling or some shit like that.
>>28446460
what is simpcest pray tell
>>28447192
Are you a normie tbo
>>28435730
>that day you realise you have become the cum
>>28447192
what is google pray tell
>>28443466
holy shit this.
>tfw keeping multiple loads closed up in your sweaty underwear and then opening it up and rubbing that scent all over your hands
fucking amazing
>>28447254
>>28447309
fucking cancer the lot of ya
>>28447316
>>28443466
You nasty bastards
>>28447192
Sounds like the Simpsons incest. I didn't know there was a name for it though.
How do I clean the cum smell from the air? I've been too lazy to do it but if I leave my house for a day or so, I get hit with a wall of cum smell when I walk in my room.
>tfw instant hard too
>>28436936
>masterbateing
>dog starts staring
c'mon now
>>28444202
This post reminded me that I came in my dad's sofa years ago, multiple times.
>>28436770
jizz only clogs the shower
>>28447576
>wanking
>cat walks in
>meow
>rubs against my leg
>>28447576
>>28447637
>fapping with the door open, when any living thing is in the house
>>28447762
>ANIMALS COME FROM MILES AROUND
>SO TIRED OF WALKING SO CLOSE TO THE GROUND
>THEY NEEDED A CHANGE THATS WHAT THEY SAID
>LIFE IS BETTER WALKING ON TWO LEGS
>BUT THEY WERE IN FOR A BIG SURPRISE
>BECAUSE THEY DIDNT KNOW THE LAW
>WHAT IS THE LAW
>NO SPILL BLOOD
HOLY SHIT GUYS YESTERDAY I GOT HOME FROM WORK AND
>"anon I left the door to your room open just so I could air it out"
>"Why? I don't smell anything "
>"You just gotta let the air flow in your room"
DOES SHE KNOW?
>>28441559
We just moved recently and they seent the stains on mine
>>28447898
n-no , you just need to let some air flow in your room, for health purposes
>>28442926
you're doing it wrong blox
>>28446086
is this a jokearooni
>tfw I cum on the floor and wipe it into the floor with my sock-covered foot
>mom would always tell me stuff like that
I've made a terrible mistake
Is it just me or is it hot in here, anons?
It'z not just me, right? Right?
