How sad are you /r9k/?
I'm not talking about social status by the way I'm referring to your state of mind.
Most consistently around 7.5-8, on a sadness scale out of 10
No confidants, no lovers, no friends, but I only feel lonely occasionally. I feel isolated in a way that would sound pretentious or elitist if I tried t describe it
>>28431286
This is an anonymous forum who cares if it sounds pretentious.
>>28431286
Pretentious and elitist even by 4chan standards? That's a tall order.
from 1 to 10?
4, not 1 because i take pills
>>28431148
pretty sad tbqh
i drown it out with loud music, vidya and telling myself i don't carebut i think that i don't actually care and have grown incredibly apathetic, possibly as a defense mechanism
I feel pretty detached from everything by now.
Probably mostly because of general life prospects. Got no field of study to interest me except for meme psudeoscience(s) like psychology, not fit for the service economy judging by my previous work experiences and I got trash tier results for mental evaluation at military recruitment, but I'm being conscripted instead in 2 months.
Just feels as if I have no place in this society or this world at large. If I don't end up fixing a career in the military I'm probably going nuclear desu.
Just typical existential bullshit and it's making me disinterested in everything since everything seems without meaning. Didn't ask to be born into this world, to live is to suffer, so on.
5/10
>>28431993
What branch of the military would you join ?
>>28432105
I don't even know what I'd be good at in the military is the thing. Being conscripted into a marine infantry unit, though.
>>28431148
Probably only about 3/10. But the sadness is back today, which probably means the depression is starting to lift. So, progress.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsGODTySH0E
How about you, OP?
>>28432180
The Marines would be full of Chad's would you really enjoy living next to people who would probably bully you for being a robot
>>28431148
Prolly a solid 6-7 on a normal day 8-9 when I'm stressed and a 10 when someone else leaves
>>28432228
Overall it's been a 5/10 so not so bad. I got to hang out with an old co-worker the other day but didn't see my mother for mothers day because she disowned me last year.
>>28432309
>she disowned me last year
Sorry to hear that, Anon. That must be rough.
Would it help to tell the story?
>>28431148
I'm feeling physically ill because of my sadness.
>>28431148
I'm not sad
I'm antsy, anxious and afraid
I fucking wish I was sad. Sadness at least reflects the truth. The feelings I have right now are just nonsense.
Snapped from a manic episode into depression as of about a week ago. It's been bad, but I've lived with worse and today it's only a 6/10. Going to see if Seroquel can do anything for me. I don't want to go through months of this again.
I wanted to write a gigantic post, but I honestly feel like garbage.
The gist of it was this, I cannot connect with people. I can empathize. I can hold conversation. But deep down, everything feels forced and rigid. I feel life is meaningless, where our purpose is to find a job we don't entirely hate, so we may purchase distractions to ignore the fact that we are simply microbes in the grand scale of the universe, and we don't mean shit. Yadda, yada nihilism 101.
I feel most people can handle this, because even though we have a short and worthless existence, they can form friendships and relationships that can bring a little meaning to their lives. Sure, a lot of these friendships never amount to anything more than superficial bullshit, but I feel that most people are able to transcend this crappy reality by experiencing unique perspectives and ideas by interacting with each other. They aren't alone. We're all dying, but they won't have to face it entirely alone.
When they get off work or school or whatever, there's always somebody.
Not for me, I'm broken. Probably due to my upbringing (drunk dad), or how the other children treated me when I would show up to school dirty and smelling like cigarettes (distance themselves, or torment me further). Nobody cares for deviants.
I just get drunk and stare at the wall all night. Then I do it all over again. And again. And again. And again.
Thanks for the vent, OP. Sorry about the edge, desu.
I'm so sad that I could almost cry.
>>28432715
hey friend we are here, alone, with you
>>28431148
as in a criticism of society? lately it's been pretty good but my place is as lacking as ecer
>>28431148
My new seizure medicine does wonders, but it causes depression. They completely disappeared but I haven't wanted to do anything fun in ages. I can't even pick up my violin anymore, it's just "What's the point?"
Either be unhealthy and happy or healthy and unhappy, but being unhealthy makes me unhappy too SO IT'S AN INFINITE CIRCLE. On the bright side I can get my driver's license now, that's something
>>28432818
Alone. Together.
On a filipino nursing forum.
I just wish there was a nice big comfy apartment building. Were all the r9k robots can live in comfort.
Bretty sad
Haven't made a friend in years, can't relate to anyone, don't know how anyone takes anything seriously.
I'm constantly cringing about things I did, whether they were from yesterday or years ago.
Life is so grating.
Devoid in the dissociation, as usual. Thought today was going to go a lot better than it did, for completely different reasons than the holiday-related popularity. As usual, I've browsed 4chan for hours and I do not see this changing until the early morning whenever I fall asleep. I tire of the dissociation and the inability to expel the various variables which cause my inability to enjoy and immerse. But there is no legal, or cheap, fix to my woes.
>>28432715
>>28432955
Together Alone was one of old /r9k/'s headers, waaay back in the day many moons ago.
I feel pretty damn sad, I'd say 7/10.
It gets randomly gets worse and randomly goes away.
When it gets this bad, I start to have conversations with myself out loud and in my head, but oh well.
Hopefully shit will get better soon, but eh.
>>28431148
I have gotten over my 12 years of sever depression last year. And now im emotionally dead inside. I keep trying to make my self snap with sadness or anger to make my self feel again. But atlas im vary mentally stable now. Only my non emotional anxiety and ptsd remains.
>Tfw can't literally feel love/compassion anymore
>>28431148
If there were 3 stages of pain, I would constantly be between stages one and two. Some days it's bearable, I can go a few hours without thinking about it. Other days I can't move out of my bed. I don't know why I'm so weak. I wish I would just die, but I'm too much of a bitch to kill myself.
Terrible, but too much of a coward to an hero, can't even die right.
pretty sad, I am usually quite sad or quite afraid. (I wake up afraid)
>>28431148
Probably around a 7/10.
Failing at pretty much everything even though I grew up smart and charismatic, actually wanting to make a difference in this world, but that all faded away and all I do now is sleep, eat, and shitpost.
Sometimes I have happy days, somedays I have hopeless days when all the cringey social awkwardness and people who hate me in my life comes back to me and I remember the happiness is just delusion and blissful ignorance of reality
PLEASE /r9k/ please give me sad movies I need them
I don't even know anymore. My emotions have become so abstract that even I do not get it anymore. -/10
I feel completely detached from everything. I don't understand anyone anymore. I don't understand I'm supposed to be doing or how I'm supposed to do it or why I even do anything at all. I go through the motions, but when I get home, I just come here and talk. But I don't really feel anything anymore. I used to be sad and angry, but now I don't get it.
I just don't get it. I'm lost. Confused.
>>28433959
Have you seen American History X? The whole thing is kind of a downer, but that ending...Jesus.
>>28433959
The road
The divide
Come and see
Threads
Son of Saul
Silent Hill
AI
I'm very melancholic. I enjoy sadness and tragedy, but I find some comfort and beauty in it.
Call that edgy and all if you want, but I've never been much of an optimist. I'm not vehemently opposed to other people having fun and enjoying things. They can. That's great. But I've always felt that happiness to be very disingenuous in me. I've built my personality around being somber, morose and bleak. I just don't see things in a positive light generally. I don't hope to ever find the love I'm looking for, or the purpose I want. Honestly I'm not sure what I want to do or be, as very few things interest or excite me.
Life is just something I'm struggling with I guess.
It feels really weird because at work I'm all smiles and try to act nice around my co-workers/customers, if I get too quiet they'll always ask if I'm annoyed. When we have conversations I just make up small talk shit like discussing the weather or anyone but myself.
At home I get so depressed that I'll sleep in the clothing I wore during the day, or I'll only wear my bathrobe and not dress myself unless I need to leave the house. It's at the point where my parents will talk to me or ask questions and I don't even respond to them. Sometimes I'll start crying because I realize how much time I've wasted working at a job I don't even like and that my personality has become so dispirited that nothing makes me happy anymore. I'm too scared to talk to any of my old friends because they'd probably think I'm some weird loser now.
I feel like having a facebook account was the last shred of normalfaggotry I had and I disabled it a few months ago after not using it for 4+ years.
>>28431148
10/10, I can't even imagine a situation in which I'll ever be happy again. Even if i could bring a dead person back to life, I would also have to erase my memory of what has happened since then
>>28431148
no
u
NO.
(You)
this pic pretty much explains it
>>28431148
I'm monstrously sad OP. I can usually keep it suppressed throughout the day but once I'm alone for the night I get hit with blinding terror and despair. Drinking doesn't even help anymore.
>>28434349
I'll add a bit of info
>swinging between feeling empty inside and feeling miserable
>probably a 7-8/10
it's so bad my chest physically hurts
>>28431148
Not much, I usually try to ignore my problems via escapism or try leave them for later while I continue my worthless life.
>you think YOU'RE sad well listen to THIS
It's not so bad, really. Most of the time I can't feel it, I can dispel it and replace it with something else. Fill the hole in my heart, if you will. Occupy myself with something, feel like everything's going to be alright for a time. Tonight it feels like it's pressing down on me, I keep hanging my head with regret and shame. Call me a drama king if you will, I haven't felt feels like this in quite a while. It's not sharp, just a general melancholy that's filling me to the brim. It's livable yet it consumes me. It'll pass, it always does. I hope I remember this feeling so it can serve as a reminder, a reminder as to why I need to try a little harder lest I feel like this all the time. I feel like the piece of shit I am, for once. How's that for justice?
>>28431148
Excuse the trip.
Petty much just a crushing since of apathy while at the same time realizing my apathy is just a way of not killing myself, because if i cared, i would.
>>28434398
Smoke some pot.
>>28434522
Pot was literally making me psychotic
>>28434553
No, it wasn't. Weed does not do that.
>>28434562
not him but but last time I smoked pot I was awake in bed all night panicked and sweating thinking about killing myself can't do that anymore
>>28434562
>Able to mentally cope with and even enjoy psychedelics
Normie detected
>>28434562
but thc is effectively a dnri which will cause psychosis in people who are higher up on the schizophrenic spectrum.
Only stoner faggots who think weed is the best thing ever deny that there are potential long term and short term negative side effects to smoking the kush
You faggots just have no tolerance and that's why weed affects you in weird ways. I flipped out the second time I smoked it too.
>>28431148
Spent the last few months studying for a bunch of economics exams at uni only to end up failing hard. It made me truly realize I don't even give a fuck about economics nor school in general. I've been considering on dropping out and search for a shitty wagecuck job.
Other than that, I'm bitter, lonely, and disinterested in the world I live in.
So...I guess a 7? I'm more frustrated than sad desu senpai.
>>28434659
Thank you anon.
>tfw normies passing the joint around
>tfw my time to hit
>tfw suddenly lose all sense of identity or orientation in the world
>tfw realize for all i know everything around me could be hallucinated
>tfw everything the normie stoners say becomes complete nonsense and weird pseudo-memetic surface level noise communication
>tfw entire construct of my interpersonal relationships with those around me collapse
>tfw fight or flight kicks in and it becomes imperative i escape and wait for this nightmare trip to end so i can regain some semblance of stability
>tfw still desperately lonely and feel a contradictory longing for the safety of human company
>tfw unable to discern if the contents of my head or my external surroundings are more dangerous
>>28434690
can you still count the number of times you've smoked? it was fine my first few times, but after several years the number of panic-inducing highs steadily increased until eventually each time i smoked weed became a frightening ordeal. sounds like you're still in the honeymoon phase.
>>28431148
moderately sad op
I'm just thinking about how I won't be able to achieve my dad's expectations (getting a good job and shit)
I've got 2 successful sisters and I'm a underdog, even tho people tell me I'm smart everywhere I go
>>28431148
>implying anyone on 4chan knows true sadness
Face it, boys. there are people MUCH sadder than you. Suck it up. Be a man. Maybe somebody will like you, then.
Not too sad, but then again people tell me I tend to look at the world through a pessimist point of view.
Losing hope and motivation to do anything important. Things just seems so false, pointless and harder to do.
I just don't know anymore, and sometimes I don't even want to know.
>>28434815
That's one of the few things you actually have to accept, someone will always be worse
>>28434815
Are you 15 or are you mentally ill
>>28434779
No, I just won't ever forget it. I had a panic attack that night (had no idea what was going on. Thought I was dying) trying to keep up with inveterate stoners passing a joint and it was not a good time. First time on the other hand, I didn't even get high. Anyway, it put me off weed for a long time, sadly.
Been smoking it for more than a decade now, and it hasn't done shit to mess me up. It helps with depression a little, other than that I hardly notice it anymore. Weed is one of the safest drugs out there in terms of overall health effects, and it will not make you have a psychotic break. Worst case scenario, you green out and embarrass yourself.
So sad and broken that my own personality has faded and all that is there now are "happy" masks which in turn made me the fun guy to hang around at college and work but as I make them laugh with dark or self depreciating humor, I loathe them for knowing how to process happiness and loathe every bit of me for not knowing how to enjoy the confortable and average life I have
All this after suicide attempts that failed due to my high endurance and overall durability
Not really sad overall
learning to say fuck it has improved my positivity a lot
My sadnessometer is broken.
>>28432715
>>28432818
>>28432955
>>28433101
I feel pretty much the same, family. Feels kinda good to know I'm not alone
>>28433959
Shame
(Michael fassbender is in it)
>>28431148
I cry a lot and spend a lot of my time just staring at a wall
>>28434974
This, basically. I went from gun-to-the-head suicidal to fairly stable just by saying "fuck it" and introspection.
>>28431148
fucked
I fucked up twice at work my studies are going down the drain I really really want to just stop feeling it's fucked I don't see it getting better it's intolerable fucking intolerable
I manage on a day to day basis by not thinking about how alone i am because god forbid i do think about it
FUCK
]
FUCK
and fuck hthank you for the venting thread
>>28435178
Exactly
being overreactive to everything around you, especially bad things is going to hold you back
I still need to stop overthinking tho
i was at about an 8 this past week because of my looming graduation from my MA program and missing my friends and getting in a fight with a girl i kind of liked
now im back to my usual SSRI-induced numbness, maybe a 5
today i had a really ugly mentalbreak in front of my parents
it sucked i feels so ashamed
they would be so much better without me
>>28435210
I learned that talking/thinking about negative things as if they were good or at least neutral changes how you perceive it
Feeling pretty empty, cold, numb, and heavy. Not really sad so much as just blank.
Part of it is loneliness, part of it is the SSRI I take.
>>28435210
>I still need to stop overthinking tho
Yep, this is still me as well. I still over-analyze things a lot, but I've come to realize that while that's not necessarily a good thing, it's also not necessarily a bad thing.As fedorable as it sounds, I've come to see myself as an "observer." I feel as though my purpose in life is not to be great or to be normal, merely to see where humanity goes from here. I'm able to detach myself from situations that I couldn't have before, and overall I think I'm a better person for it.
I'm just working to live, but I got nothing to live for.
Theres a very empty void where you don't even want anything from life anymore hut you are not content either.
>>28435328
I know, overthinking can be kinda helpful if you don't sweat it or use it on negative thoughts
I've come to detect very strong patterns on human behavior and social constructs when overthinking
>>28431148
Nothing went wrong today and there is completely no reason to be sad, yet here I am feeling like shit in the stomach.
5/10
Using chemicals seems to be the only way to solve my problems. I'm trying to do better and just keep missing NA appointments.
3/10 atm
2/10 at worst.
good that you asked how sad we are mentally, because i have a pretty sweet life, and when people point it out i feel even worse
I feel like death. I couldn't even imagine being sadder than I currently am
>>28435455
You're fine, man. Get out for a breath of fresh air, go for a walk, talk to a friend. You'll shrug it off before long.
>>28435502
It's midnight, I can't go out for a walk. Besides I don't even leave my room anymore. I don't think this is something I'll be shrugging off any time soon without the assistance of a bullet
>>28435583
You have to go outside at some point, and when you finally do it should make you feel a little better at least.
>>28431148
Been mainly sad since the beginning of 2011.
I was happy before that. I reached a high point (going to parties, sleeping with women left and right, went to shows often, good social circle) all of that changed when I moved back to my parents house in a different city. Been getting plagued with nightmares, no one seems interested to talk to me, and I just felt lost. I would find myself drinking alone from time to time.
Just hope everything will go back to how things were over 5 years ago.. Been working hard on it.
about 82.3%
It's a weird cognitive dissonance thing, I spend all day smiling at work so my body feels happy but I completely distraught about a lot of things internally.
Does anyone else live an objectively pretty good life but just inexplicably find themselves sad all the time?
>go to a good uni
>have a paid summer internship
>have a reasonable circle of close friends (no girls tho ofc)
>am in good health
But it seems like every few days I get extremely depressed and end up hating myself.. I feel like my life lacks purpose, and I'm not sure how I'm ever going to get that purpose
>>28434746
Huh, thought I was the only one. It's like being stuck in some thought loop where I become my own worst enemy
>>28431148
Honestly, I swing around like a bipolar girl. Great one week, total shit the next.
>>28432829
>ecer
?
>>28435739
I'm sorry, anon, but those are over. You'll be that social again. The rest of your days will be spent in loneliness.
My birthday was yesterday, I was pulled over on my way to my two day a week chinese food delivery job for "inadequate muffler". The car my parents just brought back to life at their own expense because I can't hold down a real job is apparently too loud so now I have to either get the problem fixed by sunset or I have to pay a fine. This of course comes after the cop grilled me wanting to search my car because I was shaking and not looking at him(not because I had anything illegal but because I have really bad anxiety problems)
My medicaid has run out and when I tried to renew on the website they wouldn't accept it and now want me to pay for a plan, I of course have no money so I have to call and explain I do not have money to pay for healthcare but again, anxiety has me putting it off. The deadline was a week ago.
I'm aware these are all my fault and I'm too weak to change, I had appendicitis when I was 7 and I wish they hadn't caught it in time and I died. 20 years later I'm a complete fucking loser and I'm too much of a pussy to commit suicide, I need it taken out of my hands.
About an 8 out of 10. I'm just waiting for it to get worse. It will come. I've done nothing but cry the past hour. I can't sleep. I'm so fucking exausted. I've taken so many sleeping pills but nothing can seem to quiet this feeling. I can't sleep. To the point where I feel like I'm losing my mind. I have to be awake to go to work in less than 7 hours. I don't know how I'm even going to get through it. It all just seems so hopeless. I don't know why I bother.
>>28431148
I'm not naturally a sad person, I'm actually really happy in social situations, the issue is my insecurity, life long sleep problem's and my recurring depression. It's 9/10 and 3/10 at times.
>>28435434
You just gotta decide what's important to you. If it's getting in the way of friends or family it might be an issue.
>>28436236
Hopefully hearing others articulate this will indicate that the problem is not inherently in you or the world but in your brain's interaction with the drug
i rarely have cause to be happy or content but this is on me
3 hours of drinking, a fap, and a hot long shower have fixed things however, long enough for me to catapult myself with inertia from the drinking to do something about it for a bit
>>28434083
I was close with my dad. Remember watching The Road afterwards. Never cried harder at a movie in my life. I really miss him. Good movie.
8/10
Was going to join the air force by 2015 and i was told my adhd gets in the way and i was denied. I work at walmart and i hate it i have no friends my best friend just died a couple weeks ago. Nothing matters anymore.
Does anyone else here idealize death?
I remember last week I was up, going over the mental checklist. Feeling anxious over every tiny thing. My life, my NEETdom, my virgin status, whether I could pull myself up and fix my life, my feelings of inferiority and helplessness. The worries started and halted, and sort of blended together. I then semi-humorously entertained the idea of being dead.
Just thinking about it made me happy. To not want of anything, to not feel anxiety or suffering, pain, or loneliness. Wouldn't it be nice to just rest easy? I somehow fell asleep wondering about being dead. Since that night, I have been nodding off to the dreams of finally embracing the end.
>That feel
>>28431570
This
But replace loud music with sad loud music
>>28431993
Before you join the military:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEQD7wyr3jE
I don't really feel sad, more scared than anything.
I'm graduatinghigh schoolin a couple of days.No, not underage b&.
Although I should be happy that I'll have some free time to myself before I have to get back to the grind that is life, I don't really feel anything except uncertainty and anxiousness. Just thinking about my future is fucking with me and putting me into an emotional rut.
Everyone around me has their fucking college and major already chosen while I'm sitting here in front of my computer clueless on where I want to go and what I want to do. I'm young so I still have time to decide, but it makes me sick just thinking about it. I feel like I'll never be able to decide and I'll just be stuck working some minimum wage job until I die.
I know a grim ending which gives me no joy. I can't hold my happiness together for too long before it crumbles. How radiant I would be, if not for this.
>>28433974
I understand you. I feel like one of those penguins that cant be stopped from walking inland because their head radar is broke
>>28433959
Tokio story
