>Friend tells me to make myself at home
>Piss in his shower
>>28427094
the fuck are we supposed to reply to this?
>>28427187
Post your smug moments
>Friend asks for a drink
>put crushed up estrogen pills in it
soon
>Friend tells me that I am free to eat whatever I want
>He goes to the bathroom
>Digest an entire loaf of cinnamon bread
>"You're free to eat whatever you want."
>Steal all the percocets from the medecine cabinet and eat them with the pound of capicola and imported cheese on a giant Scooby sandwich.
>>28427094
>friend offers to share a bag of potato chips with me
>completely devour everything in the bad
>>28427094
*cum in his sink
>"just order whatever you want"
>order meal for 5 for 60 dollars
>eat a few bites
>"I don't like it"
>Go to friend's house
>mi casa es su casa
>kick him out and enjoy my new house
>>28427266
Fucking hell, why do you have to say things like this?
t. being a dick for no reason
>>28427525
It's shitposting Idiot
go back to red.dit
>>28427094
>friend invited me over to watch a movie
>text my other friends the whole time
>"Did you like the movie?"
>"not really, I have to go"
>friend orders pizza
>it arrives
>ask friend for a knife and fork
>>28427094
>Friend tells me to make myself at home
>piss in shower
>remember I have no friends
>friend tells me I can eat anything I want
>get everything wooden in the house, pull out my knife, and carve off little bits of wood in which i then start chewing
It is always fun
>friend has normal tastes
>put on retard-o-tron
>friend tells me to piss in the shower
>don't
>>28427094
>in friend's basement playing video games
>have to pee real bad but too shy to ask
>he goes upstairs to get a drink for a second
>run over and quickly pee in the closet before he gets back
>>28427094
I have never been a dick to others, but I remember when my friends wanted to play games in the dark, I went on my bed and jerked off with 5 people around me. Good times.
>fast food worker tells me to enjoy my food
>throw it on the floor right in front of him
>fucking wage cuck telling me what to do
>stay at onii-chans
>sniff his worn tshirts
> friend sad
> bring friend chocolates to cheer friend up
> friend gets fat
>at restaurant
>my food arrives first
>begin eating immediately without waiting for others
>waiter returns at end of meal
>"any dessert?"
>everyone says no
>I say yes
>also order coffee after my dessert
>take one sip and decide i don't like it
>don't tell anyone I'm not going to drink it, they're all waiting for me to finish
Ah little pleasures
>>28427763
>spend cash for food
>cashier is nice to you so he can get dat promotion
>you become autistic and throw it on the ground
>he still remains his calm
It's a what-if scenario, I know, but even if so, you played yourself in that scenario.
>over at friend's place
>he's thirsty and asks for a drink
>go get him a cereal bowl full of water
>>28427802
>mfw fed my elderly father so much junk food he needs me around as help
fat fuck cant fit thru a doorway i'll be neet forever
>>28427447
>in the bad
The spelling mistake is the best thing about this.
>>28427876
what is money to me? i don't work for my money i get it free from the government. it's just worthless currency like monopoly money to me.
that little sack of shitty food is worth an hours pay for the slave making it for me and i can just toss it on the ground like it's worthless
>spend a night at friendo's
>just about to go
>clog his toilet full of shit
>leave
>>28427471
*cum in his stink
>>28428357
His asshoIe?
>>28428393
ya duh
>>28427447
>always delve to the bottom of the bag to get to the dankest chips
>>28427547
i don't think you really get how to do this
>friend offers me poptarts for breakfast.
>"have you had enough anon?"
>eat the rest of the box.
>>28427094
> not cumming on his carpet
its like you dont want to feel at home anon
>>28427547
You're a fucking dick, can i suck it?
>fiends
