Time for feels, /r9k/. I did this last night, but I fell asleep at my desk.
What's bogging you down today/tonight?
I'll start.
>22
>Been in "big boy" job for 5 months as of next week.
>First 3 months go great, meet new people, expand my knowledge etc.
>After 3 months, interest begins to decline.
>Company losing money rapidly due to being too old fashioned and can't beat Amazon (publishing)
>Make 32k in NYC, with a two hour long commute to and from each day, costing me around 350 dollars a month for a bus pass.
>Never get praise for my work anymore. Boss begins to detest me, constantly yells at me, never answers my questions etc.
>Dread getting up everyday to go to a job I utterly hate, deal with my boss, and have the long commute.
>Gaining weight due to stress over job and potentially getting fired.
>Question my life daily, whether I should kill myself or attempt to change fields.
>Can't change fields because my degree (communication) is fucking useless. I was too stupid to do Meteorology because I couldn't handle calculus and physics at once.
>Only have 5k in the bank currently.
>Family is moving to NC in a couple of months, have no choice but to move there.
>No gf, only a few friends who I barely talk to anymore because work consumes 90% of our time.
What're your current feels?
>was going to get an ounce of mids for $50 today
>didn't happen
;_;
i got 99 problems but a wagecuck aint one
>>28424709
I wish I could get NEETbux.
>>28424679
Sorry you couldn't get it, anon.
I'm not saying this to be mean but you should kill yourself, life is meaningless. I'm going to do it soon, we should jump off the Brooklyn Bridge together.
>>28424632
Who /emo/ here? I love cutting my skin. My parents just don't get me. What's the point of life? There are no solutions to my problems!
>>28424752
Sounds good to me.
bloxlboxc
>>28424752
>life is meaningless.
So what, still no reason to off yourself. I mean, do what you feel is right, but I enjoy having a cold beer on a hot day way too much.
>>28424802
I would if I had money for beer.
>>28425028
You are here, you got to have some form of money.
>>28425062
Barely.
I have enough for rent, regular food, and utilities. I mooch the WiFi.
>>28424632
>18
> no because this is the time you start right? I mean I've never had a gf or been kissed but that doesn't mean I should be worried right??? It not like I'll watch the years fly by as I grow old alone right????
G-guys?
>>28425142
I met my first girlfriend at the age of 18. You will be fine.
>>28425142
I'm 22, it doesn't get any better.
>>28425142
IT NEVER GETS BETTER
IT NEVER GETS BETTER
IT NEVER GETS BETTER
OP I'm 22 and feel the same but I make some more money.
> got my job 9 months ago
> first few months were painful because this lady was bullying me
> next few months were okay because I was on my own
> last few months I have been harshly bullied again
> I make $60k
> I live with my parents to save money
> I want to run away and open a business but I have no idea how
>>28425471
You are a grown man, not a child. You don't 'run away', you leave for good.
>>28425505
I'm a woman, fuck you.
>>28425517
Then you are a grown woman, not a child. The argument still stands.
>>28425142
I had my first kiss at 18.
>>28425471
What do you do?
bloxblox
>>28425682
Proffesional camwhoring
>19, almost 20
>fought hard these past 5 years or so to lose my virginity
>even made a thread on 4chan the day I got my first kiss 4 years ago
>finally meet a girl I thought I'd pump and dump
>at first she seems completely retarded
>chases me but always "has to leave" before we can fuck
>think she's looking for a relationship
>get hyped
>see each other for a month
>she's too good
>she's pretty, sings well, great at dancing, always happy and likes everything
>tells me sweet things
>makes plans for several months in the future
>finally about to fuck yesterday
>we smoke a joint
>she's naked
>my dick is not responding
>can't fuck due to lack of erection
>she says she still likes me blah blah blah
>she leaves
>tfw still virgin
>tfw lost a top tier gf opportunity
I was so hard every other time we were with each other. Fuck anxiety. I slept 17 hours today. This broke me a bit.
>>28425471
>tfw people younger than yourself make way more money than you
I make 13/hr wage and have no degree. Fuck my life, I don't want it to be this way for the rest of my life.
I was just denied from McDonald's and I've just hit rock bottom, can I kill myself now?
Cant take my problems seriously, cant discuss things seriously with my friends anymore.
I was avoiding the few people I know online and they noticed it. I was feeling like shit and only responded to them with memes and ironic bullcrap. I stopped going to therapy because I started wasting the visits by being a smug little shit who would not answer seriously to anything, therapy is a waste of time to begin with. Dont know what kind of a retard would get anything good out of it in the first place.
At the same time though, I feel kind of content. I play vidya all day, watch movies and just relax. Im avoiding my issues full force and it feels kind of great untill someone notices it and brings it up.
>>28426083
Why'd they deny you?
I have work in about 14 hours, I wish I could jump in front of a bus and just never have to work again.
I hate this job so much.
> be 19 allmost 20
> been living alone since 16
> has one dream to get a life
> engineering school
> bveginning of the year hase huge depression
> cannot manage to get back in the routine
> i'm failing my year i'm gonna get kicked out
> i cannot deal with this
> i found out i'm going blind slowly
> where does it get better
> please help me
>>28424632
Isn't it more like 100% don't care? I don't even care about my own problems. Talking about them only fills me with regret, shame and self-loathing. It's better to stay silent.
>be a week ago
>have a good girl friend (not gf), we just recently started hanging out with a mutual friend of ours
>thursday night I'm doing nothing, usually get invited to go out with girl
>see my snap stories, see a snap of his with him hanging out with her and a bunch of other friends
>oh ok that's nice I wasn't invited
>next day hang out with them, they're talking about how great last night was
>why are you talking about this with me here, do you not see I was left out
>whatever, eventually get over it
>be this thursday, get a call from her at midnight
>"hey can we come over to your place, we left our alcohol there last time"
>knew she had been doing things, but thought it was just with her friends, not our mutual friend
>they come over, mutual friend is with her
>yeah we had been doing (some cultural ritual thing for a dead person, she's asian)
>think oh okay, that's cool, you can just invite yourself over after leaving me out once again
>hang out the rest of the night, I'm clearly not having fun
>other friend that was there asks why I didn't come to the ritual thing, tell her I wasn't invited
>girl friend gives some bullshit excuse like "i barely invited (mutual friend), I was studying" or something
>we had been talking on facebook until the minute she left to hang out with them, literally just didn't invite me
>plan to call her out on her shit the next day
>she invites us over for curry, fuck my life I can't just call her out there
>whatever, I'm over it again
>be last night, get a message from her in group chat with mutual friend, asking if we both want to go to the library
>>28427703
>yeah sure
>ask them if they wanted to get food because I was hungry, she tells me she was just at a banquet
> I knew a person at that banquet and had been watching her snapchat stories, looked like fun
>at library, mutual friend is already there
>later we start drinking alcohol, mutual friend pulls a water bottle of rum out
>it's her water bottle
>they had been hanging out before I got there
>okay maybe they just met at her place before I got there or something
>ask her if she was at the banquet I saw on snapchat, she's like "oh yeah, I would have invited you if I didn't know you weren't doing anything"
>FUCKING WHAT? I'm never doing anything, you know that
>later we go to get food, we start talking about girls
>mention one girl, girl friend goes to mutual friend "oh she was the one you sat by earlier"
>holy fucking shit, he was at the banquet with her and I wasn't invited once more
>don't say anything, which is a huge mistake
>rest of the night I'm moody
>today I can hardly think of anything else
>just want to talk to her about it and call her out, but don't know how
sorry for long post, just needed to get this off my chest. I'm just so angry/let down
>>28424792
>emo
>parents just don't get me
Underage b&
>>28427780
>replying to bait
>inb4 unoriginality
>>28424632
>fail at uni
>will lose the benefit the gov gave because I failed (basically a 50% discount)
>poorfag so I cant pay my studies without wageslaving or without this benefit
>as soon the next semestre start mom will find out and kick me out of the house
>planning suicide since I got my grades
At least if she kick me out I can make a thread post pictures of the town, and get killer afterwards, because third world country
>>28427720
Been in this situation before (being intentionally left out of friend group gatherings) 2bh senpai you gotta just ditch them and find new friends/give up on friends altogether. They don't care about you and/or think it's fun to do this to you. People are awful and avoid having friends if you can they are nothing but trouble.
>>28428144
But we hang out like 2 times a week otherwise, so I don't even feel like they don't want to hang out with me. Also they're the only friends I ever hang out with, and with 22 days left until I graduate college I can't do much else.
>boyfriend admits he finds sex disgusting
>he also admits he loves me very much, but he doesn't feel it as a romantic love
>admits he faked being sexually interested and romantic
>says we've grown into different people since we've met and that we may be too different to continue being together
>says he thinks we should maybe break up, but still needs more time to decide whether or not he'll break up with me
>even if we do stay together we'll probably never have sex.
I feel so helpless.
I've been dependent on him for everything for the last almost 5 years.
I know the no sex thing should be a dealbreaker, but I love him too much to leave him over not having sex.
I know I'm an idiot, but I'm really just too far in love.
>>28428005
What uni, anon?
>>28428217
Excuses
originality desu desu
>>28428302
I would kill to be in your shoes. I hate sex and it's all my bf wants ever and we haven't had sex in over a year because I fucking hate it.
>Birthday
>gf tells me she's fucked 30 men
>tells me she had a threesome with a pair of twins
Just cuck my shit right up
>>28428338
I'd kill to have a girlfriend like that.
I can't have sex due to a pelvic problem, but I would love to have a loving relationship.
Sucks that I'm pretty much worthless to 99.9999999% of women.
>almost as ugly as eggy with no remedy
>losing weight would simply take me from weird to weird but socially acceptable
>drugs have taken my memory and sense of time and intelligence
>literally autistic
>borderline, dysphoric, depressed, suicidal, somewhat schizo
>with a family that exists as the token dumb white trash found in every southern neighborhood
>they're beyond dumb like most people here but are better off than me because I can't conform to their standards so I get treated like a literal joke
>failed tranny on top of all of that not like I would have ever passed anyway but at least the estrogen made me happy
>now I'm just relapsing and falling into the same pits I have before
>gained 40lbs in the past 6 months
>haven't bothered leaving the house and barely even my room and it's making me even more mentally unstable
>Because of everything above and the fact everyone here hates me I can't get a job
>also the fact I'm weak and totally incapable of doing anything well anymore probably has something to do with it to
>never has any help from anyone and any online relationship I'm in they never express any empathy and I'm generally abusive
>no friends except my bf who I treat like shit despite him being perfect
>I wish I could be better for him and everyone else and actually have a life and a loving family but I never will
that's about it I guess
maybe I deserve it for not trying hard enough but it's pretty impossible when you've been set up for this your entire life and the only people that can help you only do the opposite
>being bad with people and afraid of them
>the gift that keeps on giving
>>28428345
Jesus christ that's high, but hey it doesn't surprise me anymore.
I've seen women with a body count of 50 at age 20.
>>28429065
Silver linings I guess.
>>28424632
>go to a festival/event in town today
>tons of people all milling about a one-block square area
>browsing tents and stalls selling folksy knick knacks and fried food
>sitting on the grass listening to a band play on the bandstand or playing with frisbees
There's nothing like getting out and navigating a crowd of people to remind you that you are at once one of them, a human body like any other, and yet also not, because you don't really share in the experiences they're having.
They're each their own person, living their lives and perpetually becoming someone new. Then there's me, still stuck somewhere in the distant past and unable to grow into the person the present requires, just managing to survive, never to thrive. They're open to the experiences around them, and I am closed to them: static, immutable.
This is a feel no normie can know.
