>go to America
>step out of airport
>see this
>"Well howdy, shoog! Y'look starvin'. Why don'tcha hop in mah wagon and we'll rustle up some grub. Hope ya like grits and possum. Cornbread too if y'play yer cards right! Mama's kookier than a three-legged prairie dog but hoo-whee! She sure do know how t'fix a mean supper! Maybe later we can pop some varmints out back with m'daddy's Bushmaster. Now don't that sound fun?"
wat do
>>28423515
master her bush
>>28423515
sage to hell
Obviously I try and play my cards right so I git some cornbread. Also I try to fuck the qt country girl. I don't even care if it's a shotgun marriage, she will bear my children.
>>28423515
I'm 20, but that's kinda my fantasy going to murrica and getting adopted by some hot milf forever
>>28423542
Sage only works on /b/.
"Sage-ing" on /r9k/ is the best way to show you're a newfag.
>>28423756
Milfs are gross, you want a qt virgin 16 year old, cherry ripe and ready to be taken on the honeymoon.
>>28423515
Congrats you landed in Texas
Enjoy your 100+ degree summers and Mexicans
Why do americans use freedom units for everything except drugs?
>>28423952
Because pharmaceuticals are used to enslave the population. It wouldn't make sense to use units designed for freedom.
>>28423515
Tell her I am a God fearing christian so I don't get shot.
Hope i get some of that cornbread.
>>28423952
>implying I don't measure my liquid drugs in inches
>>28423824
No famalam, I really need a mommy GF/Mistress
>>28423515
Possum really isn't bad, grits are tasty as well.
Cornbread is god-tier
i live in texas and i've never seen or heard that before
country girls seem to be more nice but not like that
>>28423515
AM l BEING DETAINED? DON'T TREAD ON ME, I KNOW MY RIGHTS
>>28423952
Drugs are pretty closely tied to scientifical shit. I still see apothecary units for stuff like APAP but it's very rare. Science uses metric so it just becomes second nature after you use it a while. Old habits die hard though and when precision isn't a big deal imperial works just fine.
>>28423774
>Sage only works on /b/.
Is this a new attempt at trolling? Haha oh wow.
"Sounds pretty fun. Can't vouch for my shooting skills, though. "Why she would be interested in a long haired city boy is beyond me.Is it bad that I read that entire passage in pic related's voice?
>>28424930
Same desu senpai
I'd sex her innuendo
>>28424930
>Is it bad that I read that entire passage in pic related's voice?
no, it's basically the only thing i could think of, too. not even a ponyfucker.
>>28423855
Texan here
This is false
>>28424988
Yeah, OP didn't even mention Texas once. It's a crime in Texas to go two sentences without mentioning Texas.
>>28423515
What if I come from Mexico?
>>28424930
oh shit
me too
brony past coming back to haunt me
>>28425058
>You take yer burritos and walk away from here
>>28425058
you won't see anyone soon, just a giant wall
Mine child, doth thou not knoweth whom thou approacheth?
I, Grand Lord Haerecius, watcher of the Deep hath cometh to thine land to drown it, prepare it for the great arrival...
>>28423515
>tfw no country gf
>>28423952
not everything
m'robot
>>28425134
since this is an actual picture of you where'd you get the sweet monks robe
Why did I take a plane from America to America?
>>28425212
Because this country is fucking huge and if you're from California, Texas, or Vermont we don't consider that "America".
If you're from Florida we shoot on sight.
>go to america
>get shot
>>28425134
Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?
>>28425096
>implying american honnies don't like the mexican chile
Come on son
>>28425264
How would you know I'm from Florida?
>>28425384
It's not hard.
Even the robot agrees.
>>28425502
You're just jealous we're more southern than you.
>>28425537
You spelled "blub blub help I'm drowning" wrong.
>>28425608
>Being this mad
Stay mad, Yankee
>>28425681
> implying Florida isn't entirely made up of mental case yankees who couldn't function in normal society
Embrace your state's status as the filthy sewer drain of the nation.
>>28425758
But that's what makes our state so great!
It is a 500 mile wild ride.
>>28425858
Swap great for "interesting" and I'll agree. I'll give Florida this (I've lived all over FL - space coast, Tampa Metro/I4, WPB) - it's unlike any other place in the US, and you'd never mistake it for anywhere else in the country.
>>28423515
If you go to america you won't be landing in texas dumbass much less the sort of small town where you'd find a girl like this. yourpoors for fucks sake
