Anyone here feel suicidal, or planning to kill themselves?
What methods will you use?
>>28398522
thought of jumping off my brother's balcony. then I realized he'd probably move.
I guess a bridge will have to do.
I tried a concoction of anti-depressants and methylphenidate in the hopes of dying by serotonin overdose, but I chickened out of taking more when I started having heart palpitations, shivering, and sweating through my bedsheets.
I just want to die in my sleep.
>>28398679
I see. What are your reasons for it?
Are you afraid of how your family will feel?
I have two things in mind, the first may not be a good idea because it probably won't go ideally.
I will probably go via inert gas. I'm afraid of screwing it up. I intended on doing it several months from now, maybe even next year, but I might have to move it forward.
>>28398853
Can you tell me your reasons for suicide, anon? If you'd like to share.
I want to kill myself but I'm too much of a pussy to follow through. I tried to overdose on sertraline tablets but just ended up having the shits. I've tried multiple times to throw myself off a bridge but it leads to me getting to the bridge and getting shit started of even going to the middle, resulting in me giving up and going back home, usually even more depressed.
I say I want to suicide but I don't really want to die, and at the same time I don't really want to carry on living. It's like I know things are not gonna get better and want to quit early. Anyone else feel like this?
>>28398903
Don't kill yourself if you're not 100% sure you're ready. You will end up failing and hurting yourself. :c
Please live on, as long as you can. See what life has to offer.
Even I'm not ready yet. If you're at the point of no return, use a method that's fast and painless.
>>28398878
I've been depressed for years with no sign of it getting better. Only anime and VNs make me happy, and only for the time I'm indulging in them (and even then, not always)--there are a very small number of vidya that do, too, Persona 4 is the only one I can think of. The remainder of the time I'm miserable, worse than that, or "okay" at absolute best. I was on antidepressants for a while and it helped for about a month or so before no longer working. I switched medications, and that has only recently started to work, but I can't get any more because I don't have insurance. There's no hope of it ever getting better. I will never stop hating myself, I will never not be a detriment to almost everyone around me, I will never be good at anything. I'm completely unwanted with the exception of some online friends; anyone IRL would be repulsed by or bored with me, and that happens online not uncommonly, too. I haven't made a real friend since eighth grade, and I've tried so hard.
There are more minor reasons, but those are the main ones. I didn't do as well as I'd hoped in college due to my depression worsening, i.e., I'm constantly tired, which leads to me falling asleep in class, and thus behind, and I also have trouble retaining information--this means that even if I do try my hardest, which I have done, it's not enough. Now I'm thousands upon thousands of dollars in debt for something I didn't want to go to but was forced to, and will probably be forced to go again, surrounded by people who don't have anxiety, who are loved, who do have friends, who are interesting and functioning normally. If I drop out I'll have to start paying back said debt shortly thereafter, and of course I couldn't get a job, because my anxiety prevents me from having a good interview, as I stumble over my words, fidget, stutter, and can't look people in the eyes. I don't have references either.
What about you?
>>28398974
I'll be honest I am not sure I am 100% ready and I doubt I will ever know if I'm ready or not, but as I say I can't see things getting any better and want to end it rather than carry on like this.
>Then just change stuff around
I've tried multiple different things and tried different strategies and they all result in the same feelings
I really don't know what to do at this point in time. I'm feeling trapped.
>>28399058
I should add I wish I could just be NEET and indulge in the few things that make me happy constantly, but that can't happen. My parents are already immensely disappointed in me.
>>28399058
I'm sorry.. you poor thing. :c
You've had a hard life. I know how it feels to study something you have no passion for.
I wish I could hug you, I know it wouldn't help your situation but still. I'm sorry, I don't know if I can give you good advice, but it sounds like college/ university isn't right for you, as you are right now. It might be better to stop now, or take a break and rethink your life.
My reason is something love issue related. I don't know what to do and I feel helpless. It's someone online, but I really care for him. It's something I don't want to talk about further than that.
My plan is to wait a few years until I graduate university and go on my own to a far away state, maybe another country. I imagined that I'd ask someone else to mail pre-written letters to my parents for maybe 5-10 years after I die, so they'd think I'm still alive. I don't want to hurt them.
I've also considered maybe the Japanese suicide forest as a suicide location. I just want to stop existing, rather than leave a trace. Maybe I'll drown myself in the ocean.
>>28399403
>It might be better to stop now, or take a break and rethink your life.
I would like to but my parents may kick me out if I do that.
I'm sorry to hear that, anon. I'm not sure what more to say without more details, but I do hope it works out and it doesn't get to the point where you do go through with it.
>>28399064
Live on, even if it's painful. Please. I understand feeling trapped. It's not "being a pussy" it's you knowing you want to live. Keep going on as long as you can, until you know more about yourself and what you want. Being truly at the edge of despair is no longer fearing death.
>>28398679
>>28398742
>>28398853
>>28398878
>>28398903
>>28398974
>>28399058
>>28399064
>>28399094
>>28399403
>>28399445
JUST DO IT!originalo familia
>>28398522
Fucking useless woman looking for attention. That won't kill her. You have to aim the gun to the roof of your mouth.
>>28399445
Thank you, you're really kind.. I hope you can plead with them, that you're not mentally stable enough to continue university right now. And that it might just result in you failing. You're struggling so hard, you're really strong to make it this far. I really resent the kinds of parents who have no compassion and love for their child. If I was your parent, I'd hug you and reassure you that you could have all the time you need.
>>28399526
>I hope you can plead with them, that you're not mentally stable enough to continue university right now.
I've already tried explaining this, but they don't understand and make no effort to.
It's not that they lack compassion and love, it's just not something they can grasp.
>>28399594
I'm really sorry..
I wish you the best, anon. I wish life was more fair to you. You're a sweet person that doesn't deserve this.
>>28399670
Not at all. I'm a horrible person who does deserve everything bad that happens to him.
>>28399680
Don't be hard on yourself.. No one is perfect and everyone does things they regret. Please don't hate yourself.
>>28398522
Shotgun loaded with buckshot in the mouth at a slight upward angle, 1 year and 3 weeks from today. My brain stem will be pureed and I'll be unconscious before I even hear the sound, let alone feel the pain.
>>28399841
let me try to discourage you from that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GH6Cl1Gzv80
>>28399841
What's the significance of 1 year 3 weeks from now, anon?
>>28399882
That's completely different. That idiot blew his face off, he probably aimed between his eyes or just under the tip of his chin.
>>28399926
and you have enough confidence in yourself to know you wont fuck it up?
>>28399969
Yes. The key is to keep the barrel pushed back and to brace against something else to preven it slipping.
>>28399882
isn't it better to shoot yourself in the heart with a pistol?
>>28400026
No, you'll still be conscious for a little bit if you do that, so you get to feel all the pain of having your chest ripped to pieces. Better to destroy the part of your body that controls consciousness.
Which one sounds the best for you guys?
>Pretty much in the cyborg criteria,
>half asian.
>hate my face.
>always shame my parents,
>always fail
>try to be positive and work hard,
>friendships dissatisfying
>can't be good at college.
>fail at work.
>Just got fired and having a day of rest.
>sucidal thoughts creep in.
I wonder how many times one has to be fired before they are deemed unemployable.
Last time I tried with a knife.
Next time I'm thinking sleeping pills in the woods, somewhere far enough away for me to decay before being stumbled across.
I want the soil and insects to eat me.
>>28400052
yeah, I know, but still you are 100% you will not fail and the pain will last for at least 5 secs if you don't miss the heart. I think this is the best case if you think you will fail in the head...
>>28398522
What is that bitch doing? All she'll get from that is really fucking up her face.
>Tried to kill myself by hanging but, some stranger interfered,
>I punched them in the face,
>Ran off,
>Tried again.
>Couldn't do it,
At least I didn't see them.
>>28400026
no, heart is riskier than head, and pistol to the head is riskier than shotgun to the head
>I tried to save someone from hanging
>he punches me right in the head and run screamimg REEEEEEE
> now I'm a tran-faggot, respect my pronouns shitlord
>>28400337
but what is better, certain death or be unconscious to then wake up with your head fucked up??
>>28400205
who the fuck cares its just pic
Tried it about 6 years ago, but my fears got the best of me and I ended up laying on the bed for a week.
Since then I learned to deal with depression by making fun of it, relying on memes and irony. Just saying "I really want to fucking kill myself!" out loud in a ironic tone of voice feels like relief. It actually helped me to feel better overall, get a grip and in general helped me with anxiety. The way I relax around people is by making suicide jokes and so on. Like once I made a noose, showed it to the people and said "Im going now, see you on the other side", everyone laughed and it was a decent ice breaker. Felt pretty good!
Im the worst kind of cancer that actually, really should be killed, but Im going to stick around for a while since I managed to find a nice hobby and I started to enjoy movies and videogames again.
>>28400105
exactly how do you drown yourself in the bathtub?
>>28400406
You can't wake up without your brain stem.
>>28400406
The part of your body that controls waking up has been destroyed in this case, so that's not really an issue. This is like saying "well, what if you take out your car's engine and then you're driving down the street without an engine?".
>>28398522
>Turn all your problems into jokes.
This hits a little too close to home..
No one wants to here my problems so I just joke about them.
>>28398522
Why would you shoot yourself like that? And that kinda looks like a deagle, which shoots .44 right? Hopefully they have hollow point to use, but even then, will it spread into the brain or the top of the mouth. I like the way it's held, if the gun recoils too far it'll just hit the spine, still a killshot. Put the gun I'm mouth tho.tldr, yes op
>>28400553
Just noticed, he's pointing the gun at his teeth. Nope, 3/20, guy just wants to bantz
>>28400285
I mean, they should aim a bit lower than In the pic, but that's just my two cents.
I was planning on lying down on some train tracks, but I'm open to other suggestions. I'm a can neet so I don't have much, hanging seems a bit more scary than decapitation, plus I'll need a good isolated tree. If I had a shotgun it'll be great
will jumping headfirst hurt?
>>28400737
depending on the height you can fail
>>28400753
ok i live on the 11th floor will i even feel it?
>>28400764
That's a big building
>>28400764
probably not, but still there is a chance of surviving
>>28400737
What's a good falling strat btw? Headfirst? How do you even fall headfirst anyways?
karambit to the stomach
Off a cliff/building. I have no fear of heights and know I could do it.
Not depressed, or even unhappy, just bored. 25 now, I said 29, maybe 35. I don't want to be old. Dying young is the only legacy I could ever leave.
probably cut my veins in bathtub full of hot water while listening to some comfy music.
>>28400947
Don't kill yourself if you're not depressed. It's not a game and not a joke.
>>28401007
Original woman detected
>>28401137
nah I just want to experience all the stuff that comes with death so not gonna just blow my brains out.
>>28401116
life is a game
if you can't win don't play
I really want to. I've wanted to for a long, long time. My trainwreck of a life has been managing to coast along for about ten years too long. I can barely piece myself together in the morning. Leaving the house is a never-ending battle with my extreme anxiety. I can't hold down a job. Can't pay the bills. I can't do any basic "adult" things like drive or other simple, responsible shit.
I'm running low on cash. I'm only existing because I have a roommate whose couch I can sleep on, and he's done with school and won't be renewing our lease. I have no job prospects. No family to fall back on.
My catch is that I'm unlucky enough to have a friend that cares about me. Really cares. As in, I'm fully aware that if I'm stupid enough to end my life and leave him feeling like he failed me, it'll fuck him up real good.
I'm trying to plan out a way to sabotage our relationship so he cares less. But he's bright enough to piece my lies together if I do wind up killing myself afterwards. I feel trapped.
how do you cope with the feeling of being useless? it's crushing for me to know i'm simply annoying people when i bother them, or hearing the sound of my voice, what do?
My first girlfriend of one year just left me. Thinking about it tbqh.
>>28402775
embrace it
cause as much discomfort to others as possible without actually getting beaten up/imprisoned/killed
shotgun to the face, virtually instant, hopefully pain free. just have to have the balls to pull the trigger
It's already too late to kill myself.
>>28398522
if I get manage to muster the courage, lying with my head on a train rail would be the way for me. I'm too pussy for any other method and no guns because yuropoor.
>>28399969
It would be damn near impossible to "fuck up" assuming the shotgun successfully discharges against the roof of one's mouth. If it's more or less vertical, it will completely destroy your frontal lobe. If it's angled to the back a bit, it take out your brain stem.
Even if you did somehow survive, I imagine you wouldn't even have the remaining capacity to experience discomfort.
>>28400737
>>28400764
How confident are you in your ability to actually angle your fall correctly
It's likely a hell of a lot harder than you think.
>>28399882
The description notes that his mandible was missing and there was no damage to his brain. He obviously didn't put the barrel in his mouth.
Putting the barrel under your chin is a classic newfag mistake.
I'm trying to eat myself to death, I've gained almost 30 pounds so far. I've been obese before, I'm not too far off. I just want to make myself miserable and be as repulsive on the outside as I am on the inside. I don't deserve a quick death.
I've been trying to improve my life this year but then I found out there's a big chance I have MS. If the specialist says I do, I'll probably give up on college and any sort of career and just off myself when it gets too bad. No point in trying to steer a sinking ship.
I'm guessing there's no way to die that's quick, painless and dignified is there?
>>28398522
I wish I lived in the states. I would be dead already if I had a gun.
>>28399058
Are you still here friend?
Which Vns and animes made you happier?
I'm here to talk about them if you wanna
>>28398742
>reasons
Life is a gauntlet of mundane annoyances. If you don't have means that make quotidian living trivial its not worth the time of day in all honestly
>>28400443
By lying face down in the water? How dense are you?
Yeah, honestly think about it more than anything else.
I'll either slit my throat or walk onto a highway. Haven't decided which one is the better option.
I really want to jump off the George Washington Bridge but I feel terrible about how much it will hurt my family.
>>28399058
Are you me?
You're not alone anon, we're very much alike
I am really uninterested in life right now.
Many of the people i cherished left me in these past few months.
I spent all my time and energy on my girlfriend and the friends i used to have are now distant.
She barely even talks to me anymore.
I feel so worthless. I gave so much for her. I gave her 5 years of my life. We had many good times. And she just doesn't care.
I feel so lonely i want to scream.
There's a girl interested in me but i'm not in a mindset productive to making new bonds. I need time to process all the deep bonds i lost these past few months. I feel really selfish and self-centered and i wallow in sadness so i wouldn't make for good conversation.
I'm jobless and without education- so my girlfriend is really all i had. And now i got that taken away from me.
Gotta to to breakfast with my mother and sister then I'm gonna go home and get drunk :^(
>>28405833
Do it while you can. Normies wanting to stop the jumpers, god i hate them so much.
https://www.wnyc.org/story/every-35-days-someone-attempts-suicide-george-washington-bridge/
>$47 million for a project to add pedestrian safety fencing along the walkway
>Plans to install the higher barriers build
My plan is to make at least 200lbs of anfo, toss it in my car, drive off to the side of some quiet country road and then blow up.
>>28405036
Yeah sassfag, but you're body tends to try to pull itself up unless there's something like drugs or a weight holding you down.
>>28407079
>all my time and energy on my girlfriend
Why? Why are people so weak and stupid?
I'll just never understand it.
Been doing heroin for a few weeks now. Finished the last of the it yesterday.
I'm not a fool, I know why I started using heroin and I know when I will stop. I couldn't keep up an addiction if I wanted to. It's not something I just fell into.
If my therapy works and my psychiatrist can find the right dose of meds for me, and I can start to see any potential in my life, I would be content in getting a small job in a small town with some nice land where I could live peacfully.
If however, old age takes its tole on me and I am unable to see any reason in continuing a painful existence, at least I know a needle full of heroin can relieve my pain for eternity. And if this is my only glimps of existence, at least I went out in true bliss.
shit load of levetiracetam that i get through hospital and some juice. only method im willing to try
>>28398679
>die in my sleep
>wants to induce serotonin syndrome
Serotonin syndrome is a fucking nightmare anon dark net some fentanyl or morphine but honestly you shouldn't do either dark net some psychedelics and get a better grasp on yourself you sad fuck
;) I love u lol I don't understand your situation maybe there is no way out regardless I wish you luck ma dude
I wanna throw myself down some stairs, so if I survive people will feel bad for me and wanna love me
>>28398522
I'm still supporting heroin overdose or death by PCP and cop bullets. Both would be pretty painless.
>>28408279
Sounds like a good idea, but being paralyzed might make you more suicidal.
>>28408035
If so many people can't control themselves using heroin, why do you think you can? Well, I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, but at the same time, I guess you're one of those people who try to stay realistic in life. Even more than what they care about themselves.
>>28408420
I've got some tumbling experience so I know how to not die, really just wanna like get some hospital time. I did it once but only got some bruising but people did ask and showed concern. I just think, if my (ex)girl saw me in the bed she'd realize it isn't worth leaving me and that she cares about me too much. Or ill die and pain ends
>>28401410
fuck i'm in a similar situation
I'm planning to use a shotgun to the mouth, as it is the most effective method. I've been depressed to the point of suicide for a long time, and I've decided that if my life isn't drastically changed for the better in the next 4 years I will finally go through with it
>>28403025
DON'T DO THIS. There's a chance that you will just blow your face off and survive in horrible agony for hours, or even days.
These threads make me feel better, I imagine everyone here is a girl and it takes all the pain away :D
