Who else here /BPD/??
How's it feel to be a fucking lonely pseudo-empathetic sack of shit?
F-feels great here.
Anyone else have the issue of entering someone's life, being the best person to them ever and then literally telling them to fuck off and then subsequently feeling like an emotionless void?
>>28398477
what is bpd even?
>>28398477
You mean hyperempathetic person who had terrible parents that gave you attachment disorders?
Y E S
I thought I had defeated it and I was doing a lot better for a bit but then it all came rushing back
Fuck dis brain
Fuck dis lyfe
Fuck everything except my cat who lacks the cognitive depth to understand how much of an asshole I am and consequently is actually capable of loving me
>>28398477
Do you have a DBT therapist already? The success rate for BPD is fairly high now a days, it's the "good prognosis" because it can be fixed with modern DBT therapy now in a lot of ways.
>tfw bipolar and will always be and no therapy helps very much
>>28398491
If you have it, you'll know.
Otherwise, borderline personality disorder.
>>28398477
>being the best person to them ever
how do you do this, not BPD but I am an aspy faggot with ADHD-PI to boot and I have no idea how to say anything interesting, I am either a quiet loner or an annoying twat, I don't want to annoy people I just don't know how not to be and people literally hate me for it as though I just broke into their home and took a shit on their sofa
how do I be a charismatic socio, I just want someone to like me
>>28398521
Not sure if Maria on r9k or another person with BPD who sounds exactly like my friend with BPD
>>28398563
OP here, it's fairly easy.
Just fucking agree with everything they say, and figure out all the similar things you share and obsess over that shit for a while. Show them that you only want to spend time with them. That you accept them and love them for who they are.
I do the shit genuinely but then after a while, I get paranoid and start questioning if they feel the same way for me then I get pissed off. And then I tell them to screw themselves.
>>28398542
Honestly, I haven't even found a right DBT for me. I use my school counselors but I have to schedule those appointments and i have such a hard time showing them my emotions.
>>28398514
>"hyperempathetic" "attachment issues"
Yep. Mother issues to the max. Abandoned by her for work, spent time around cousins who all bullied me but I needed them so I spent time going from fearing them to needing them because they were the babysitters.
Fuck.
"I love you but I hate you."
Reporting.
I've given up on people. I'm only bad for them. Self-imposed solitude for as long as I'm able, then probably suicide.
>>28398607
>I do the shit genuinely but then after a while, I get paranoid and start questioning if they feel the same way for me then I get pissed off. And then I tell them to screw themselves
Such a familiar feeling
>get told off for being a total cunt, feel embarrassed and humiliated
>mfw later on I find something out that proves I was right all along
Lies should be an impossibility.
>>28398886
Thought I was the only one who wanted solitude.
>"No, you don't deserve to be alone."
I do. Everything I touch turns to gold and then turns to shit.
It'd be nice if I could live alone in a sleepy town until I get old and off myself.
>tfw no bpd gf to be nice to me sometimes but mean to me others
>>28399077
You don't want it man.
Us BPDs have issues with control, and impulsivity. Cheating, cutting, drinking, gambling.
We don't give a fuck. Only what makes us feel good is what we want.
>>28399266
don't care about any of that besides cheating.
good luck gambling when I never leave any cards around.
>>28399324
Cheating is my vice.
>>28399549
Terrible.
I don't understand cheating.
>>28399725
I can try to explain it, but it will never be justified.
Cheating is something I do because it fulfills my emotional needs for attention and attraction.
If I can find someone else that I find attractive, emotionally and intellectually, and they find me attractive in the same manner, it makes me feel validated.
If I'm already with someone, I kind of grey them out and pretend they don't exist.
Love is a high for me. I feel it and it burns out but when I feel it, I go all out.
I don't think I can ever have a "life partner" because I'd be bored as shit after a while.
>>28398477
>meme disorder
into the trash with you
you are better off killing yourself because you can't act like a decent human being
>>28398542
> implying therapists ever do anything but take your money and make everything worse
fuck off shill
>>28398563
according to some theories aspergers and bpd are related with AS being nature and BPD being nurture
>>28400061
Thanks buddy. Dunno if you saw but that's how myself and a few other BPD anons plan on dying.
Thanks for the validation though, loser.
>>28399324
>don't care about any of that besides cheating.
not even false rape accusations which you can't defeat?
>>28400140
Those would likely only happen if we broke up.
If she tried it when we were dating, she would quickly take it back as soon as the cops arrested me and she had her time in the spotlight.
I know how it works.
>>28400024
Why do you have to lie tho. Like okay, you like the high and you have and will continue to have multiple partners. Fine. But don't get into a relationship, where it's expected by both parties that you're going to be exclusive and you promise to only be with them, and then go back on your word.
It's like.... If you kept taking permanent job positions then quitting after 6 months cause your bored and that other job looked so much better. Don't fucking commit unless you're willing to follow through.
>>28400172
>If she tried it when we were dating, she would quickly take it back as soon as the cops arrested me and she had her time in the spotlight.
lol no she would already have the next guy(s) lined up and forget about you in a day or less
>>28400187
Because I want to be loved, not just lusted.
>>28400202
>forget about you in a day or less
Not true. She'd wanna come full circle in case shit goes wrong with the others.
I like stringing BPD chicks along, they are all fucked up pretty good in bed and its fun to pisd them off, I would never date them but I keep them as a #2 on the side for fun, I love when they threaten to suicide and never do its great
>>28398477
>Anyone else have the issue of entering someone's life, being the best person to them ever and then literally telling them to fuck off and then subsequently feeling like an emotionless void?
I did this with a girl who might have been into me. She didn't really have any friends or a bf, and she asked me to go out to lunch with her every day. I couldn't help alternating between being really friendly and really mean. The last thing I ever said to her was "go away"
>>28400232
you have no idea how someone w/ BPD works... I do because I have it. the rare male borderline...
>>28400257
I am a BPD female so I think I do know.
>>28400211
You guys are not worth loving, just to crazy I would rather invest time into a dog, only reason I give them any attention is becuase they are easy fucks, mostly sluts who cry "dad raped me, I was molested" mostly good fucks but other then that just a waste in time
>tfw emptiness
>>28400240
That's so terrible
>>28400282
Oh boy damaged goods here, try not to squirt out any babies k?
>>28400282
>female
then I understand why you keep lying. AWALT
>>28400211
You can still be loved without being exclusive.
>>28400235
Never date crazy senpai
>>28400286
>You guys are not worth loving
We're aware of that and we know that inevitably sane people will tell us. Hence why we're the first ones to say fuck off or fuck ourselves over by being impulsive.
"What's this? I'm being unbearable? Time to jump ship, but cheating or hitting rock bottom!"
Just after looking up BPD. A lot of the symptoms are very relatable. I just always thought I was a little fucked up, never thought it'd be something like that. Any of you's gone to therapy? Has it helped?
>>28400024
Faggots like you make me so mad.
You can choose not to act like any other person.
>hurr I'll get bored
Then find a way to fix it, and if it doesn't exist then make it so.
Half the problem is you choosing to chase that high.
You obviously know it's bad, and I'm assuming it'd hurt if someone did it to you, so you should hold yourself to that standard.
Practice what you preach.
>>28400323
Its a shame most of you don't go through with suicide attempts, but you make good one night stands your quote is pretty true thats why I just fuck you not date
>>28400306
I'd never have kids. I can definitely imagine myself loving them one moment and telling them to gtfo the next.
>>28400315
I know, but the major point is that I don't want to commit to something for so long, but the fact that the person is happy when I "commit" to them really puts me in a tough position of staying and making them happy or leaving and ruining them.
I've had many guys do the sick puppy routine "I need you, you're the only one who understands me".
Hence why I lie.
I'm starting to think I have borderline
It would probably explain why I feel like I have every other mental illness and why I'm an attention whore
>>28400368
What's the appeal of one night stands period?
It's so confusing.
>>28399077
>still not sucking my sissy boy cock
i thought you knew better vyro!
>>28398477
Even when your type is on medications and therapy you are still a drag
>>28399324
LICK THE TIP
JUST THE
TIIIIIPP
LICK IT
>>28400358
but you can't help the anger outbursts... I have a permanent scar on my arm because once I got pissed about something minimal and smashed some glass with my bare hand
>>28400172
smack those lips and pucker
right on my little boy sucker
;^)
>>28399725
try stroking my feminine nutsack while I beat it on your forehead
>>28400375
Good for you get the shot or tubes tied, there is enough BPD around no need to spawn more of them, you would prob end up molesting your own kid
>>28400458
Is it bad that I can actually see myself doing that if I had a son?
I've gotta huge incest fetish.
>>28400386
Its fun just a quick fling no drama
>>28400475
What's the appeal of sex without any kind of feeling behind it though? Like, why?
If you're just going to have sex with no attachment or emotions towards the other person, why not just fap or something?
>>28400375
Well your cheating ruins them anyways, and maybe if you were upfront from the beginning it would never get to that point because they know you don't want to commit.
>>28400473
When you plan on killing self? Manics are worse then BPD but they are psychotic, BPD just behavioral monsters
>>28400515
Probably late age. I still want to complete school, get my dream career.
>>28400506
Becuase sex and fapping are 100% dif, I like variety some people are ok eating a PBJ 7 days a week, change it up you know
>>28398477
Why does this have to be a mental disorder? I do this shit. It's called getting tired of people's bullshit and being independent enough to not always need people in your life. I'm a great friend until all your quirks cause me to need a fuckin break. The best friends I have are the ones that understand that sometimes I just disappear off the map for a month+ sometimes.
>>28400458
BPD isn't genetic, you ditz.
>>28400240
I want to fucking kill you. Do yuo know how lonely that girl probably was? Do you know how frail she probably was? You couldn't go after some normie stacy bitch, no, you go after the girl who wanted and needed a friend so bad and was so happy that you would eat lunch, just eat lunch with her, and you fucking do that.
>>28400561
OP doesn't go into explicit details on the disorder. OP just describes what makes some people with BPD bots.
BPD comes with a lot of other fucked up shit
I use to hook up with this chick who had Bipolar Disorder, one night I was fucking her from behind and she burst into tears and said I reminded her of her rapist (1 of many) I just kept going as she sobbed it was pretty hot, I considered stopping but she wanted me to keep going pretty funny now though, but she was NUTS not a keeper or GF material hooked up with her maybe 7 or 8 times
>>28400544
Weird.
Just weird.
Also retarded levels of normalfag. Why are you even here you cunt.
>>28400571
Its both genetic and from enviroment you stupid faggot
>>28400544
Yeah and that 100% difference is the chemicals and closeness you get from sex. Sex is a personal act. Fapping is just fapping. So you're taking what should be a steak dinner (sex) and turning it into a PBJ with strawberry jelly instead of grape when it is just a hook up. Sure it is good, but ultimately a poor substitute for what it could be.
>>28400604
you need to suck some dick in your life, vyro.
>>28400618
It's not genetic. Do some research, you fucking retard.
Show me accredited proof when you find it and I'll suck your dick.
>>28400591
I gotcha.
>>28400604
I work with people in MH field and most need to die, the rest need help I treat them nice and fair just dif talking to them outside a hospital
>>28400652
So you exploit them by fucking them? Jesus you are literally part of the problem and a huge fucking monster.
>>28400646
I'm good senpai dont need my dick sucked
>>28400589
>you go after
She was the one always asking me to do things, not the other way around
>>28400682
I don't fuck patients senpai thanks against laws and most have STDS unwashed no thanks
>>28400715
You still use your knowledge of mental illness to fuck girls outside of work.
It's disgusting. People like that need someone who cares, not a giant piece of shit.
>>28400631
Why does he need his dick sucked
>>28400382
>I feel like I have every other mental illness
Are you me?
>>28400420
>but you can't help the anger outbursts
Same thing applies.
Have you ever been hungry and not eaten?
You can't stop the hunger, but you can choose not to act on it.
You have free will, use it.
>REALLY starting to think I have borderline
>think my therapists probably picked up on it too and that's the real reason they recommended psychotherapy and haven't given me a proper diagnosis
>don't even have any real problems
>just have a meme disease that makes me a terrible person
>think I should kill myself
>don't even know if those thoughts are legitimate but they're probably not because I probably have the attention whore disease
This isn't good
No.
I'm an ogre, an absolute sack of shit. Everything in my life is dedicated towards my own consumerism. Drugs, alcohol, food, media. All for me, more the better.
I will never infringe on another persons life though. My existence is a victimless crime, and I intend to keep it that way.
Bother nobody, unless they bother you, after which destroy them. Speak softly, don't offer advice unless it's asked for.
>>28398477
not diagnosed but i can absolutely relate to this. i am the epitome of hot and cold, most of the time i'm the sweetest person ever and i love people but i feel crowded really easily when that happens i tend to ignore people / try to escape. if they persist, then i get really nasty and feelings get hurt.
are there any other disorders that also include idealization and devaluation as a symptom?
>>28400788
You just sound like a normal introvert to me. Somebody who values space. Nothing wrong with that.
>>28400743
you still don't get it. it wasn't a conscious thought to smash that shit, it was lizard brain level. By the time I realized what has happened I was already heavily bleeding. I didn't even feel it.
>>28400775
Yep. Yep. Yep.
Fucking sick of this shit. And then people call it a meme disease and it invalidates everything because you kinda agree but know that there's something wrong.
>>28400788
Histrionic, narcissistic... Only 2 I can think of.
>>28400780
If only.
I'm in college right now, so I can live like that right now, but the minute I get a job and move to the west: that's it. I exist for me.
>>28400823
Sounds like some Dexter bullshit.
I don't believe you.
>>28400711
Yeah, to EAT LUNCH jesus
>>28398680
Yeah all BPD people have early childhood trauma involving parents that create attachment disorders
Google insecure attachment psychology, a lot of r9k has insecure attachment patterns i.e. "The mother leaves, and when they come back the baby can no longer be soothed because the mother left in the first place." Secure attachment is being able to deal with distance and reacquaintence.
But yeah the person who called me a shill, I'm not a DBT therapist, but if you have BPD my nigga if you want to get better get a therapist who SPECIALIZES in DBT or ask your shitty school counselor for DBT therapy
It's the ONLY clinically empirically proven way to improve BPD and has a huge success rate
>>28400888
It can be done, if you can live cheap.
Work part time and descent into hedonism and degeneracy. Hookers and drugs.
You're only hurting yourself, and you've been hurt before. You can take it. Might as well learn to enjoy it.
>>28400788
>le meme pratchett
He was a good meme though.
>>28400895
of course you don't, you're just an outsider
>>28400913
I'm the one who called you a shill. As I said, ALL therapists are charlatans who force you to talk endlessly about shit you don't want to and then you just feel worse and worse to the point of wanting to off yourself. All you fucking faggots do is make it worse for sick people because you also have traumas and get off on causing suffering to others and taking their money.
Fuck off you useless piece of trash.
>>28400984
Goddamn that sounds like the fucking life, minus the hookers and drugs. I'd probably have a few people on hand that could fuck. Sort of like an open relationship.
>>28398477
Any of you fuckers on Lamotrigine? It's great. I'm a dumbass now but I don't give a shit about any of that bpd nonsense anymore and I'm far less annoying to everyone.
>>28401064
>ALL therapists are charlatans who force you to talk endlessly about shit you don't want to and then you just feel worse and worse to the point of wanting to off yourself.
Not true buddy. Therapy got me to forgive myself for stealing from my mom when I was a teen.
It also helped me to stop using cutting as a means for impulse release.
You sound like you have never been to therapy and if you have, you went to a dupe.
>>28401097
OP here. I take trazadone. Sleep aid and anti-depressant.
Makes me incapable of feeling sad (I tried) and I barely get angry.
it's a terrible disorder and i fucking hate it. people with it try to be normal but its fucking difficult when your brain functions differently. those with BPD are especially in need of discipline and mindfulness, because otherwise your tendency to become your emotions can and will ruin your life.
i am a very seductive person. im not a virgin and im not a neet. however i know for a fucking fact that my psyche is all shitted up. i belong here
manipulating people is shit. getting uncontrollably emotional over small things is shit. "splitting" is shit. there can be no peace with this disorder and it shouldnt even be glorified in any way. i've been hurt and hurt many people. good people who tried to help me and support me. all I can say is that I destroy things and i have no god damn clue how to create things. i don't even know how people can stand my company for long
if you have it you'll know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about.
>>28401102
fuck off shill
I was in therapy as a child and even was molested by him, a friend of mine killed himself thanks to another... I'm onto you motherfuckers!
>>28401182
I felt sad reading these words because it's the tiny voice in my head that repeats this shit nightly.
>all I can say is that I destroy things and I have no god damn clue how to create things.
>>28401157
Same. I don't think I'm physically capable of crying now. Really struggling with driving lessons because of it though.
>>28401332
What time do you take it?
Take it a few hours before bed, you'll be drowsy when you wake up but it'll fade after a while.
>>28401407
I was talking about the Lamotrigine by the way. I have to take it twice a day though.
>>28401009
I think it's an excuse because you enjoy smashing shit and it makes you feel powerful.
The same way you keep cheating because it validates you.
You didn't black out or anything like that, you felt an impulse and you acted on it.
However strong an impulse is you can fight it.
>>28401736
Whoa, Im the person who cheats, I didn't punch anything like this dude.
>>28401736
who the fuck would I even cheat on? women are always terrified of my scar...
>all these people complaining about being mentally ill and attractive
>meanwhile mentally ill and ugly
>>28398477
I think i might have this but im not sure. I get attached to people really quickly and find ways to despise them quickly. Ill do all noce shit and then ill hate them. I take everything personal and the few times girls have tried to gst close to me i push them away. But i have a few friends ive never had ill feelings for so idk.
