Does anyone else here, upon vividly remembering some embarrassing or cringy memory involuntarily mutter "kill yourself you fucking idiot" or some variation of that? How do I stop it?
No, but I have this really obvious twitch/jerk on the right side of my mouth that starts happening uncontrollably between every word I say when I get angry.
Apparently it's really obvious because everyone points it out.
>>28395897
I have "I'm going to fucking kill myself" on mental repeat all day every day.
Every damn day. Been going with the "Fuck them all for making me feel this way" approach lately. But when you think about it it's only really me that makes me feel this way. So fuck me, I guess.
Used to. I just think to myself "I can't change it. Don't do that shit again, dumbass"
Now I wait a few seconds before I respond to people, and run it through my head before I say something dumb
You change it to 'fuck that, let it go, let it go' and breath
>>28396038
>Now I wait a few seconds before I respond to people, and run it through my head before I say something dumb
>tfw doing this has led to me being always afraid to talk and completely incapable of making friends
Exactly.
Wow, I can't stop reliving my mistakes. They'll haunt me for the rest of my life, no matter what I do to change that.
I don't want to tell a therapist because I'm really a shitty person, so I feel like I don't deserve to feel better.
>>28395897
I don't know how to stop it, but I do the exact same thing. Sometimes I shake my head or hit myself if I think about embarassing things.
for me it's 'im fucking fucked'
>>28395897
My self hate has gotten a little bit more intense recently. Every time I fuck something up I feel like I have to tell myself off.
When I'm freaking out, which is generally when I'm in public, it gets to the point where I start verbalizing it. It's usually something along the lines of "You useless fucking idiot"
I make this weird upward moaning noise and kind of shake. It's especially strange considering I act pretty normal otherwise but when I remember myself making an embarrassing mistake I devolve into a shaking retard
>>28395897
All the time, although recently I've been dealing with it a little better.
Honestly the only thing that has helped is just stopping myself when I begin remembering something dumb that I did, even though the compulsion to think about it is really strong. I guess your brain just compels you to ruminate in an effort to figure out what you did wrong and how to correct it, but what happens is you just feel like shit unnecessarily.
So yeah, when you start to "remember", just don't indulge that thought. Don't try to rationalise why, just literally stop thinking about it. When you do this for a long enough time you start to feel way better.
> intrusive, humiliating memory
> involuntarily mutter "no no no nope no"
