File: (69 KB, 960x540) Image search: [Google]

69 KB, 960x540

Hold me robots.

Yesterday was my 19th birthday, so me and my buddies decided to celebrate by going to the bars at my college campus (minimum age is 19). I usually don't drink too much, but, since it was a special occasion, I decided to get really get fucking rekt. We pregramed a lot before the bar, since it's difficult to obtain alcohol in a bar when none of us are 21, plus it's really expensive so I wasn't trying too hard to get my friends with fake IDs to buy me some. I still ended up drinking a lot there though, because my friends were buying me drinks. So needless to say I was drunk out of my fucking mind.

So anyway, at the bar I saw this qt3.15 dancing by herself. Being drunk as fuck, I walked right up to her and said "Damn girl, you dance sexy. Think you could show me some of your moves?" She must have been rekt too because that line actually worked and we ended up grinding hard/making out a lot for the next hour or so. Soon enough, I was ready to go home and asked her if she'd like to come with me. To my surprise, she actually said yes.

Back at my apartment, things started to get really heated. We were making out a lot on my bed, and we took off each others shirts and things were really escalating. I had her panties off, and I was starting to think me losing my virginity was a sure thing. I could tell she was really into it. She said "Can I ask you to do something for me?". I figured she meant me going down on her, and me being pretty drunk I eagerly responded with "Yes, anything!". Then the question came: "I need about tree fiddy." Well it was about that time that I noticed this "girl" was 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era. I said "I aint givin' you no tree fiddy you goddamn Loch Ness Monster! Get your own goddamn money! Get out of my goddamn apartment!"

Worst birthday of my life.