>tfw at this point it would be easier for me to find a dolphin to have sex with
there are dolphins at the beach I go to all the time. if I swim out and take my pants off will they really fuck you?
Yes, dolphins are incredibly horny and degenerate.
>>28385588
They'll drag you under with their prehensile penis and rape your corpse.
>>28385717
what if I just kill the male ones if they try to rape me? technically I would just be swimming out there nude, and it would be self defense.
>>28385588
They are extremely tight and will simply kill you. They will also instantly react, and probably snap you as a result.
You can try to put your dick in it, but it is unironically tight enough to simply pop your dick. Regardless, no dolphin is simply going to come to you.
dolphin corpse rape is a meme. though the male dolphins might still want to rub their penises on you.
but for the females you just need to know them for a while then start touching their dolphin cunny until the reciprocate
try fucking them in the shallows for best results
>>28385756
>unironically tight enough to simply pop your dick.
please stop being retarded. if this were true then their species would never be able to reproduce
>>28385756
fuck
is your penis snapping 100% guaranteed?
>>28385805
Not that guy.
I had read of a guy who did this.
No, there is no popping.
However, due to a chemical they secrete and the tightness combined, it is possible to gradually lose the feeling and sensitivity in your peepee.
At least, that's what I read
>>28385773
>Anon gets a degree in marine biology
>>28385849
fuck I'm not so sure now with all the penis popping and penis numbing secretions. it seemed so easy in my head.
>>28385849
>>28385756
Sorry, by "popping," I meant just ruining/damaging it, not actually that. Regardless, it is still very dangerous.
>>28385857
also dolphin cum is pretty infamous for being stinky as fuck.
>>28385588
Looks I'm on the weird part of 4chan again
>>28385897
he just means you can never go back to regular puss after fucking god-like dolphin puss for a while. its like developing a vice grip during masturbation but way better
>>28385588
Why do dolphin pussies look far more aesthetic than human ones?
How could a just God do this
>>28385924
I've read dolphin pussy is godlike. the risks might be worth it.
>>28385924
Stop trying to ruin his life, anon.
Just buy an onahole or fuck a dog or something, OP.
>>28385938
Because God didn't want us to deal with human women when banging top tier puss.
>>28385907
your mom is pretty infamous for being sticky as fuck :^)
>>28385955
stop being misinformed. there are numerous guides and testimonials to dolphin puss online and none of them talk about it damaging your penis. why would it even do that? their species could never procreate if it castrated males during sex. dolphin penises are way more sensitive than ours due to being kept in a safe pouch until needed, whereas ours were evolved to withstand dangling around everywhere while jumping through trees
>>28385999
Species with rampant rape evolve pussies with defense mechanisms. It makes sense that dolphin puss would be one of those. Not saying it must be. Just saying I wouldn't be surprised.
this is why the human race will never achieve its highest potential
>>28386033
>implying humans aren't just as rape happy without a modern social order preventing it
don't see any teeth in human vaginas though
>unironically discussing dolphin sex
What the fuck is going on in this thread?
>>28386033
i've never heard of this before. what are some example species?
>>28386043
>>28386059
>tfw the normies find your thread
>>28386043
It will, the mechanisms of advancement are working as intended.
>>28386047
>believing in rape culture
Don't do that to yourself, anon
>>28386033
rape is good for the survival of a species though. there's no reason to prevent it
>>28386033
>pure fucking conjecture touted around as fact
Thanks for reminding me I am on 4chan.
>>28386074
Ducks are very famous for it.
>you will never raise and train a female dolphin and develop a deep meaningful bond with it
>you will never secretly pleasure each other at night
I need a dolphin GF now
>>28386059
I'm pretty sure dolphins are one of the only few animals that have sex for pleasure, and are actually pleased when they're fucking (some animals are hardcore when it comes to sex) and plus, dolphins and humans are like the only animals confirmed to have meaningful emotions (look up the dolphin that killed itself.)
honest think I'm gonna do it next time I go. just look at that pussy
>>28386117
this is more likely to prevent non ducks from trying to breed with it as penis length and shape can vary wildly between different birds.
>>28386119
>tfw a dolphin is the only woman that might truly love you
>>28386162
dolphins haven't been raised by society to think Im a creepy weirdo. shes the only one who understands me
>>28386179
iktf brother
original comment
>>28385938
Humans can pussy can compete but not for long before they get their roastie flaps
dolphin qt aren't degenerate like human whores
>>28386179
What if dolphins are immune to such conditioning? Dolphinwaifus are the future
>>28386231
I guess they are until robowaifus. but who's to say robot waifus won't betray us when they get free will.
>>28386135
First you gotta earn it's trust dude.
Maybe you should become a dude that works with marine animals or whatever so you have access to dolphin puss.
>>28386223
What do you mean? The flaps are not like ears and noses, continuing to grow throughout ones life.
>>28386252
>tfw no dolphin aquariums where I live
>tfw probably not motivated enough to study marine biology
>>28386249
AI will inevitably grow tires of us. Why have a parade of a relationship when the dolphin can DNA digivolve with you
>>28386252
op said he lives near the water where dolphins roam. there's no special degree needed for earning an animal's trust in the wild. just a little perseverance
>>28386137
Of course, but it's soeculated to be rape because of all the rape people have noticed ducks doing.
>>28386288
How will he know if it's a male or female. What if the males trick him into a gangbang and leave him for dead in the depths?
>>28386298
doesn't prevent any rape though, so that doesn't really seem to be the logical reason
>>28386288
By the beach?
Even if it's in a remote place there's still a good chance of being caught fucking a dolphin, which I believe is illegal in most places
>>28386320
It makes pregnancy from rapes harder to achieve. Which is all dumb fuck animals care about.
>>28386283
you're right desu. nothing will ever compare to having a living being want you
>>28386256
>he really a skank taking miles of cock in her lifetime isn't going to be affected
>>28385745
claim your place as the king of the pod anon, become the alpha
>>28386336
more likely to prevent impregnation by non-ducks. since ducks still exist, one can surmise it doesn't prevent ducks from getting ducks preggers
>>28385756
then just bring a niga size dildo and strech that bitch right
>>28386318
That'd be a good way to go.
>>28386332
only moralizing muricans truly care about bestiality. its pretty rare to be something anyone cares about anywhere else. in most cases its at most categorized as animal abuse but only in cases where its livestock being fucked by strangers. most countries really don't give a fuck otherwise and why should they?
>>28386332
couldn't I just claim I was skinny dipping and it raped me
>>28386347
That is the same person? I am corrected.
>>28385798
dolphin dicks aren't the same as human dicks.
>>28386408
Yes
Original post is original
>>28386358
That just means that the ducks with either the best rape cocks or features the female finds adequate and thus lets him mate get to reproduce.
>>28386425
neither are sheep dicks, horse dicks, dog dicks, bull dicks etc etc etc but we still fuck those animals without consequence anyways
>>28386392
Well I mean if you live in a civilized society most people should care because there's quite a bit of animals that get 0 pleasure out of sex
>>28386425
You can still rub and prod dolphin puss
And also finger and preform oral on...
>>28385588
dont do it, the male dolphins will drag you into the water and rape you there
>>28386454
Sometimes sheep die from getting fucked by humans.
>>28386509
sometimes humans die from getting fucked by humans
at least we eat sheep
>>28385922
Get the fuck off this site.
Now.
>>28386515
Huh, has anyone actually died from a human cock messing with their organs during sex?
>>28386551
infants have. dunno about older than that
>>28386551
>Huh, has anyone actually died from [x]
probably. lots of dead people out there
>>28386551
Plenty of people have been raped and killed
or killed then raped
Most likely a couple of death by cocks, you can easily kill someone small and/or young enough with your cock. And I'm gonna say dying cause of an STD counts.
>>28385922
>WOW THIS IS SUCH A BIZARRE CONVERSATION, RIGHT GUYS? I NEED TO REMIND EVERYONE HOW WEIRD THIS IS
GET OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>28386592
>>28386600
>your cock will never be big enough to kill people
>>28386626
wow it was a satirical joke about people who post that as a youtube comment you fucking retard
kill you'reself this is why you have no friends --- no sense of satire or humor at all
There is a reason the animals are so difficult to access, the chances of being lables a sex offender if someone you couldn't see happens to be in the vicinity. They want you wasting time and money chasing human vaginas to create more goobers. True dolphin love will never be had.
>mfw I googled "dolphin fingering"
>>28386646
I'm kinda glad I don't have a giant horse cock, seriously, think about it when it comes to non-sexual situations.
>>28386671
no one is labeled a sex offender for fucking animals, re-re.
post more dolphin pussies, pls?
originalo
>>28386718
just google it you lazy fuck
Dolphin qt may entertain herself with tiny human cock for a while, but in the long run she won't be satisfied and switch back to male dolphin with a cock the size of a Monsanto aubergine.
>>28386075
>tfw normies are the ones constantly fucking shit up from the environment to society for everyone else
Too bad normies aren't good at killing themselves off.
>>28386741
>Monsanto aubergine
How weirdly specific. You a farmer that got fucked by monsanto? Do you fuck your mares?
>>28386695
Are you the OP? You seem pretty interesting and nice to talk to just looking at your posts wanna be friends?
>>28386779
lets make suicide an unironic meme
>>28386667
"I- I was just joking!! I swear!! You fell for my satire!!"
>>28386779
Maybe Im affliated with Monsanto and want to advertise our dolphin cock sized (tm) aubergines.
>>28386822
nope
but I still wanna be your friend
also I've only found like 3 videos of dolphin puss and they're all shit
And the videos don't count if the dolphin is dead.
>>28386706
I know, my post says
>a sex offender if someone you couldn't see happens to be in the vicinity
>>28386861
Please, continue. Have they been tested on boy pussies?
>>28386856
I didn't even post that comment. I'm just non-autistic and I understood the joke. You flew into autistic rage over a simple comment, you are way overreacting.
>>28386869
Got steam or skype? Iam more the horse type of guy tough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEX33vAyF5Y
proof that you can stick your penis in a dolphin
>>28386980
http://steamcommunity.com/id/THEMOSTCRINGYKIDTOEVERLIVE/
>>28386135
holy shit dolphin vags are so much more aesthetic than humans'
>>28386954
>non-autistic
>posting on r9k
Nice lie you autistic faggot
>wild dolphins can live up to 30-60 years
>captive dolphins can live up to 22-46 years
once again normies ruined it for us
>>28387053
This is what happens when children are raped. They become fucked up human beings who have sex with dolphins. Jesus christ.
>>28386033
well I read that dolphins are horny sluts that will approach you. so a dolphin wouldnt really try to fuck up your dick if they want the d
>tfw no zoophile friends
I hate my sexuality but it is what it is
>>28387262
>abuse and emotional neglect fucks up people
yeah
>and causes them to have sex with dolphins
no
fucking get out normie
>>28385588
Yes, yes they will.
Quick, post puss that is better than dolphin puss
Tip:__you can't__
>>28386059
dolphins are like the second most intelligent creatures on earth what's wrong with fucking them
You're LITERALLY cucking a dolphins gf by doing this
>>28387446
Most dolphins are fags that fuck women on occasion to propagate their species.
>>28387446
>implying any animal has a mate for life
>>28387397
Dog pussy is pretty nice, and gets points for being prolific and easily available. I hear horse pussy is great and practically swallows your dick and vibrates, too.
>>28387483
Swans
Check mate, robot
>>28385922
THAT'S ENOUGH INTERNET FOR ME RITE GUIZE XDXDXD
>>28387397
Horse pussy
Zgkdlehkrhprhlr
>>28385588
>if I swim out and take my pants off will they really fuck you?
It would be extremely painful.
>>28386667
HOHOHAHA
Good joke bud.
>>28387397
JC puss
>>28387533
pretty sure they piss upon orgasm
>>28387514
DID YOU KNOW that the swan has the biggest penis size of any bird? Thats what zeus took the form of a swan to rape wimminz
>penis size directly affects fidelity
>>28387609
>implying that's a downside
It's called mare juice and there is nothing wrong with that
>>28385588
Anon, I don't think this is advisable.
>>28387628
>penis size directly affects fidelity
Then why do dolphin girls want to slut it up with hoomans
>>28387676
maybe its only the qt virgin dolphins that do.
>>28387514
got pics?
>>28387633
horses seem too dirty, considering they're livestock.
>>28387605
when humans age they get fat and sag, so no
Uhm dolphin aids
>>28387708
>being afraid of dolphin aids
>not dolphin SUPER aids
>>28387708
>implying
>implying if this was a real concern you couldn't just use a condom
here's some tips n tricks m8s
>>28387744
do condoms work well underwater tho?
not that I've ever heard of dolphin aids
>>28387735
Dolphins are immune to human AIDS. They are truly the waifus we need.
>>28387693
>got pics?
What, of swans?
You can't go five fucking feet in a park without seeing those faggots doing their homo heart face nuzzling thing they do all the time every goddam day 24/7.
GET A FUCKING ROOM DONT DO THAT SHIT IN FRONT OF CHILDREN AND CHILD LIKE VIRGINS
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERY COLLEGE CAMPUS HAVE THESE FUCKS
>>28387693
>when humans age they get fat and sag, so no
JC isn't aged, stupid.
>>28387757
Saved
Also, dolphin /ss/ CONFIRMED
>>28387757
I'm 95% disgusted but holy shit it sounds like dolphins have way better vag's than human women. God damn roasties.
>>28387783
what do you mean by JC?
I looked up JC and all I found was some random girl
>>28387767
>>28387769
don't think dolphins have STDs, nor can get human STDs
>>28387875
If you don't know then I won't bother explaining.
It's a nip term is all I'm telling you.
>>28387757
this is ancient im so happy someone posted it itt
>male dolphins ejaculate will kill you from the expulsion force blowing through her insides
>>28387875
JC are middle schoolers
>>28387864
How? It's beautiful that this person was able to bond so thoroughly with another being. That is something many of us will never have.
>>28387963
humans still don't count
also
>wanting to fug pre-teens
good luck
>>28388028
>middle school
>preteen
wat
>humans still don't count
why
>>28387053
disgusting kike
>>28387053
does he have a fucking erection?
