Tell me about yourself in unnecessary detail, /r9k/. Who are you, what have you done with your life, are you happy?
>Who are you
some aloof recluse faggot
>what have you done with your life
not a whole fuckin lot but I regret nothing
>are you happy?
since when is happiness supposed to be a permanent state? I'm content enough to keep on keepin on
I am anon i've watched anime and played vidya no
>>28379930
Someone who has hated himself immensely since he was 12.
Nothing but dwell on negative thoughts and emotions and allow them to take control of my life.
Lived mindlessly through elementary school and high school. Thinking about nothing but going home and playing video games and fapping to porn. Avoided others because I thought I wasn't worthy to be around. 12 years later nothing has changed except I'm a NEET. So no.
I turn 20 this September and I'm working full-time in an office right now to save up to move to BC this year and pray I can find a job when I move there and can afford my own place.
I don't talk to people or feel interested enough to meet with old friends... I do go on omegle r9k sometimes on the weekends if I happen to drink but it's almost always a waste of time.
I consider seeing my old forensic psychiatrist because she was very helpful and unique in the way she worked. However, she could start seeing me if I still when when I turn 23. (I got lucky and she allowed me to be her patient at 19 for a bit until I felt good enough)
I have some problems with "antisocial tendencies" but some of my psychotic symptoms and general dissociation concerns me more and keeps me suicidal.
I want a boyfriend who is very compatible with me (very intelligent, not very emotional, reasonable and understanding) with a high sex drive who is equally or more ambitious than me. I enjoyed playing games with my ex when I lived with him... NES, N64, Sega Saturn, Dreamcast... haha. Neat Steam games, Mugan, Street Fighter...etc.
I think I'll feel better in a few months but I'm getting involved in a study in my city for depression and psychosis and will try Pristiq for free with MRI scans, etc. for the study.
I'm a 36 year old kissless virgin in New York.
I'm a Database Administrator, I live by myself in an okay apartment in an okay neighborhood. I haven't traveled much, I don't really like traveling. I'm very frugal and live below my means.
I have no real friends, I've never had a girlfriend. I'm 5'10", average weight, average appearance, White, dark brown hair and eyes. I'm fairly introverted and have always had heavy social anxiety but I've managed to get by.
I love anime, especially mecha/super robot shows. I collect Gunpla, I have several cases of figures. I play a lot of video games when I have the time.
I'm actually decently happy. I'm not like glowing or anything but I'm pretty content. I would like to move to a different state, somewhere more quiet and cheap though.
I have a Belgian Malinois called Harlock that's been my companion for several years now. I found him as a puppy abandoned in the trash along with a few brothers and sisters. I took his siblings to a shelter but Harlock was very attached to me so I kept him. He's my only real friend so I love him a lot, he's very sweet and friendly.
>>28381377
Sounds pretty comfy, anon. Why don't you get a prostitute though?
>>28381377
you are what I desire to be at that age I love you anon
>>28381377
You sound like a really nice guy in an ok situation. I'm sure if you could overcome your anxiety you'd blossom.
>>28381377
Man child detected. How sad.
I'm 18.
I feel like I never really liked to go outside.
I'm an only child and I have almost never seen anyone my age until I was 6 and I went to kindergarten. It seems like I never fitted well among others.
I remember crying a lot back in these days. When I was in early elementary school, I wasn't behaving well and teachers probably hated me with passion. I became a more serious and quiet kid over time. I used to talk a lot when I was younger, now I don't speak out loud too much.
Between 13 and 16 years old I tried hard to fit in, and after giving up and thinking about it I realized how terrible and toxic people really are.
When I was 16, I went to another school because I graduated from the previous one. I started to go to the city on my own regularly, and my surroundings have changed a lot. I had trouble adjusting, and I was probably in such a bad mental state that I could get diagnosed with some several mental illness. I was probably severely depressed, and I had pretty bad panic attacks that would make me unable to move. I developed a fobia to women, and now I run away from them when I see them.
When I changed schools, a lot of things changed about me. I became more serious (at least around people irl), stopped caring about what normal people are into, and my tastes changed slightly. I had to reconsider my sexual orientation after I had a wet dream where I fucked a guy, and I moved to waifuism and fapping only to 2D.
I also created my first tulpa when I was 16 and I started without even knowing what a tulpa is. Now creating a new tulpa is so easy to me that it's scary. It's like I'm really mentally ill.
As for my grades in school, I'm top of my class.
>>28381542
I don't want a prostitute. I don't really care about losing my virginity anymore, if I lose it I want it to be in a relationship. Probably never going to happen but I'm okay with that. I'd rather die a virgin then just have a meaningless thing like that. I'm a sensitive quiet guy, I'm not an alpha male or anything. In my heart I'd want a girlfriend that loves me who I can be intimate with. Sex by itself doesn't interest me. I've always been like this, it's just at my age I'm just convinced it's not ever going to happen.
>>28381578
>>28381604
Thanks for the kind words guys.
>>28379930
it hurts a lot
i cry a lot
>>28381377
>I'm a 36 year old kissless virgin
You're a wizard.
You should avoid getting laid by all costs now to keep your wizard status.
>>28382023
Why does it hurt anon, tell us, we'll listen.
I'm a 26 year old woman. I'm from Chicago but I live in Cincinnati.
I work in a pizza place.
I have a bunny and now a hamster that my friend just left with me when he moved. I live with in an apartment with two roommates, and we currently have a guest sleeping on the couch as well.
I'm pretty introverted and shy around new people. I have resting bitch face.
I drink a lot of alcohol and sometimes do cocaine and psychedelics.
I've had one boyfriend. I have feelings for a friend of mine now, but circumstances prevent us from being together and it's slowly killing me.
I am ugly and skinnyfat. I have free form dreads, which I've been growing for nearly two years. I have numerous tattoos, stretched ears, and snakebite piercings, although I rarely wear those anymore.
I have never done anything remarkable, and that bothers me a lot, but I don't expect it to change. I have no great talent, and while I'm not stupid, I did poorly in school and didn't go to college. I expect to scrape by as a wageslave until I drop dead.
I want to impregnate this chuuni before her number of menstruations reach the double-digits!
>>28379930
>Who are you
21 yo kissless virgin, Australian with mental illness who will inevitably kill himself
>what have you done with your life
Genuinely nothing eventful has ever happened in my life. I grew up, finished school then became a shut-in.
>are you happy?
Fuck no
Who am I? I'm an outsider. I look at life around me and make quiet observations. I'm not an active actor in life. I'm more of a shadow in society.
I've done nothing with my life, that wouldn't be my style. I'm passive, I let myself be carried with the wind. Just quietly looking at time pass.
Am I happy? I'm not able to answer this question at the moment. Two months ago I would've said definitely yes. Now I'm not so sure anymore.
>Who are you
A shutin kv, robot loser who is about to turn 25
>what have you done with your life
Forced into uni by parents and managed to get a degree but nothing came of it. Aside from that I have no accomplishments and will never achieve any.
>are you happy?
Not at all. I plan on killing myself on my birthday as it's only downhill from here.
>>28382244
> free form dreads
>stretched ears
>snakebite piercings
get rid of those, look like an actual girl, and life will be better
i really don't want to write about myself in a thread where no one is going to read it, and if anyone does it will just be to bully me.
maybe if you were a girl who was reading and responding to every post i would do it.
>>28382535
I will reply to your post anon.
>>28381377
Isn't a belgian mal a rough dog to have? they're like guard dogs
I'm 26 years old, a graduate student in literature and grade tests for a living. I work from home and currently do university from home as well, so, I rarely leave the house.
I read a lot of books, own a lot of books, own a lot of stuff generally because I like to collect and document collections (ranging from tea cups to dinosaur toys). I've wanted to be a teacher since I was first in school, and used to force my sisters and cousins to attend "classes" I held, composed of lesson plans and lectures I put together by reading encyclopedia entries from our set at home. I'm the only one of my cousins or sisters to have graduated high school. I'm the only person in my family to have attended higher education. Understandably, no one in my family has ever wanted to hear how classes are going or what I'm doing academically.
But that makes me consider university an accomplishment. I've also been accepted to several national conferences in my field and went to those and talked to people. I don't have any publications yet, but I have two in review, so at least I submitted things.
I haven't made a friend in eight years of university. Given, some of that is because I'm now remote, but that's only been the last year.
Reading books takes up most of my free time, and I read everything from contemporary world literature to culinary history. This year so far I've been in an art history phase, mostly improving my broad knowledge of ukiyo-e. I'm working on translating some poetry right now, and in fall I'll be beginning a big project on early Japanese->English literature translations. Besides books, I also know an excessive amount about tea, play a lot of board games, fold easy origami and I've started quilting. I have two cats.
I'm generally very happy. I'm in a long-term relationship of nearly a decade, and we're going to have a kid next year. Should be getting a house by the end of the year, and just got a new car recently. All the "adult" milestones are being hit.
>>28382620
Not really, he's a very affectionate and nice dog. He's very protective though, he guards me with his life. He's was fairly easy to train so he's very well behaved with strangers. He's always wary and on the lookout though, he's very very untrustworthy but he won't do anything unless I give the okay or they just attack me. I don't even need to have him on a leash because he follows commands perfectly. He is pure guard dog though, he doesn't take any crap but he has a heart of gold. The only real hassle is he's super energetic so I have to take him out a lot, I go out on jogs with him to get exercise and he loves that stuff. Otherwise he's a great dog, I really enjoy having him. When we're out together I feel really safe.
>>28381872
Shit, I forgot to mention if I'm happy or not.
It's hard to tell for me. There are times when I'm down and I hate myself, and there are times when I don't think about that.
I'm going to add some things to my previous post. I live in Poland and I hate my own country.
I spend a lot of time on the Internet and avoid polish people. I know little about my own country and I spend more time dealing with English language than my native one.
I started to realize how much I escape reality only recently.
Also, my social skills got worse over time, and now I try to look emotionless and stay quiet to avoid doing stupid things and getting noticed by people who might do bad things to me.
I don't get along with my dad, and I don't like to even come out of my room when my parents are around. They seem to have given up on me recently, and my dad is talking shit about me now.
>>28382686
Just dropping by to say that you sound like a cool person. I hope you academic efforts will pay off.
>>28382569
Are you a girl?
origamifolding
>>28381872
>>28382780
Maybe schizoid personality disorder/early schizophrenia
I can relate to you a lot
http://schizophrenia.com/earlysigns.htm
>>28382849
I read up on that before, and it the symptoms seem to fit me.
I don't have the courage to get help, and I wouldn't trust doctors.
My parents also seem to be the kind of people who laugh at me when I try to talk about my problems.
>>28382823
Yes. I'm >>28382244
>>28382914
I greentexted "schizoid personality disorder" and it dissappeared. Weird.
I was born in 1996, started getting on /b/ in 8th grade then migrated to r9k v1. I helped run a summer camp my whole life with my family, my aunt is coming monday to work on some grants for the camp. I remember hanging out with my cousin a lot one summer in middle school. We would sneak out of the house at night and go get mcdonalds, but one time we got in trouble cause when we came back everything was locked. It's not like we were doing anything bad, but later that started happening in a much safer way. In middle school I hit on my friends a lot and acted out. Highschool I did the same more subtly, and acted out with earnest by doing performance art pieces in school. I did a lot with art and philosophy then, and got really sick and diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I had one gf in my time in highschool and we never really did anything, just talked and drifted apart until she moved to california. my senior year I got a boyfriend and we got really close, but he was in college and lived on his own. I was with my parents and finishing highschool, so the maturity/capacity difference was strange and hard to navigate. I was less capable than him, but pretty mature for the time. I told him we had to break up because of this discrepancy, and I hope we can at least be friends when I am more able to provide as an equal.Now, since graduating and breaking up with my ex, I'm with a crazy difficult girl who discovered my obsession with physical abuse (towards myself) and can't do anything but take it personally.
I moved out last summer and stayed with a friend. In January I moved into my own one bedroom. In February she moved in with me. On monday she left to las vegas for the summer, so now I'm alone and working. It's okay but I'm being hit with a lot of emotions I wasn't allowed to feel before, so I'm feeling a bit paralyzed.
>>28381872
>>28382780
2 replies, and I still have stuff to add.
I kind of had a gf once, but it's hard to even call it that way. It boiled down to me sitting with one girl during classes, and she went through 3 different boyfriends when I "was" with her. I fell for the open relationship meme.
I lost my last friend because of differences in opinions when I tried to come out with my sexuality to him, but I had a wrong idea about him, and he wasn't as tolerant and intelligent as I thought.
I tried to look for a friend after that, but I talked with the wrong person. It was some random girl from osu irc that I started randomly talking with. After a couple of months she got mad at me and even called me mentally ill because I mentioned my tulpa to her.
After that I lost my trust to people and my problems with anxiety really started. I lost my will go have friends after that, and I even lost my understanding of the concept of a friend.
I should also mention my cousin. She's my little sister and I talk a lot with her because I care a lot about her and I want her to be happy.
>>28381377
When did you realize you were a loser manchild?
>>28381374
Are you a boy or grill? I can't tell.
>>28379930
Nothing, I did nothing!
>>28383413
Well, congratulations, you got yourself caught, what's the next step of your master plan?Robot makes baneposting harder ;_;
>>28382794
Thanks, anon. I hope so too, but I'll be somewhat content with even adjuncting. As long as I can still eventually teach some of the niche classes I've prepared reading lists and syllabi for. Or even just have students who want to learn what I have to teach. I don't know how much university is going to change in the next few decades.
>>28381377
You sound like a good guy, I hope you and your pupper are happy.
>>28382244
What do you do at the pizza place? Cook or wash dishes or what?
>>28382686
You sound like things are going good friendo. I'm happy that there are still people who love books, they're a wonderful thing I feel like a lot of people miss out on.
>>28379930
I'm a nineteen year old guy living in Texas, working in the military. I'm extremely quiet, and have been since I was a tater tot.
I can't make friends very well, so most of my time is spent by myself.
I'm unintelligent, the bad part is that I'm smart enough to know I'm stupid. I have a really hard time accomplishing things that seem straightforward for other people. The only way I can deal with it is by writing down exactly how to do it. I have notebooks full of little notes, filled with things from directions to how to open up a computer program.
I love reading and dancing, and I exercise almost every day. So OP, I'm pretty happy, just kind of lonely. I'm just floatin along man.
>>28383861
What kind of stuff do you like to read, fellow Texan?
>>28383921
A lot of silly medieval fantasy books, and just random stuff.
Poetry, autobigraphies, I just scroll through amazon and click on a book, and buy it.
I'm reading All Creatures Great and Small right now.
What do you like to read?
I am a good looking, above average intelligence guy with huge mental issues.
My brain and aesthetics allow me to function in this society, but my mind isolates me from my peers.
I never had a gf or any female attention which fucked my mind further. A month ago, however, I met a girl who seems yo really like me for who I am (an intelligent, good looking guy) and doesn't mind that I'm a loser cause I'm better than anything she can get. So I guess I'm not that much of a loser anymore, and thanks to her I got another girl to like me out of jealousy.
So I wonder why I spent so much time being a loser when /r9k/ was right all along. If you're good looking, you can't be a robot.
>>28384004
I was the anon you complimented about reading, so, fairly random/wide range for me too. I have ~3000 on my Amazon wishlists, though I know I'll never get around to all of them.
The one you're reading sounds super comfy.
>>28381377
>5'10"
kek figures a manlet would be a wizard
>>28384026
Glad you're moving up in the world, anon. What mental issues?
>>28384084
It's an amazing book, I loved the show when I was little, but it's even better than that.
When you said you were a graduate student in literature, what does that mean exactly? You have a degree in literature?
>>28384235
Grad school is what comes after the Bachelors--I got my Bachelors in English a few years back, and now I'm about finished with my Masters. Hopefully moving on to PhD soon after, but plans might be scooted back due to the kid coming next year.
Basically, it's just more study. At the grad level it's less course-focused and more about honing your ability to produce worthwhile research. So it's more self-paced and self-directed than undergraduate is. You're usually more concentrated into one area too, like a Bachelors in English can cover everything from contemporary American lit to medieval English lit. But you start to specialize by grad school--maybe Victorian lit, the Romantics, Transcendentalists, etc. My area is pre-war modern Japanese lit.
>>28384026
>I am a good looking, above average intelligence guy
Absolutely disgusting.
>>28384329
That's really awesome, you mentioned you submitted two publications, what did you write about in them?
What would you do once you had a PHD?
I'm a 21 yearold hikkineet. I'm unsure if I hate myself or everyone else. It feels cheap to just blame other people for how I'm turning out.
I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. And it's impossible to talk to people. It's annoying that I can't inject myself into a group conversation. And it's annoying when I try to start a conversation with people but some asshole butts in about politics or whatever normie shit. I'm used to it. When I think about it, like right now. I don't know why I still bother. But it's pretty nice to watch people talk.
I like drawing, programming, and making music. Making music is tough though. I don't understand things like time signatures but I'm starting to. I really like drawing and developing characters/worlds too. I know no one's going to care as much about them as me but, I'm still waiting for someone who does.
Wish I wasn't fat. I'm not that fat but, I'm still fat. Being chubby made me like the Winter. I guess all the flab traps in heat or something. So Winter is the only season where I feel comfortable. Besides the fat I don't think I'm ugly. When I shave and ignore everything below the neck I'm happy with my appearance.
I haven't done anything with my life yet, and I'm not happy. I'm really bored desu.
>>28384584
After PhD comes hopeful professorship. Maybe at a full university, maybe at nearby community colleges. I'm not traveling for a university appointment because I wouldn't want to live away from family, so it'd be around Dallas area.
One of the publications is basically a lot of what I wrote for my thesis--it's about Yumeno Kyusaku's role in the development of Japanese detective fiction and what he contributed to tantei shosetsu over the next few decades (there was a resurgence in popularity for his books after the war). I had meant it for a preface to a book of translations of his works when I wrote it, but, I'm really slow about that, so I decided to go ahead and submit it.
The other is a pretty old thing from undergrad I revised and don't hold much hope for, but it's about the female figures in Kyoka Izumi's plays--basically their phantasmal presence is representative of fading traditional values and beliefs in Japan at the time. Kyoka was extremely inundated in Japan's traditional arts and had a lot of mother issues to boot, so it might be too "obvious" a thing to write on. But I guess I'll see.
That's nice of you to ask by the way! Like I said, I made no university friends, so I never really get to talk about this.
I'll be 24 in a couple of months, currently NEET at home with parents. UK. I'm a pretty gentle quiet guy, trying to get good enough to get work as an artist/illustrator but no idea how to make the jump to getting work.
My only romantic relationship was last year when my best friend came up to stay at my place with a few other friends. Always been straight but he broke up with gf months before and we got kinda close and then when he was up it was so nice and we ended up spooning to sleep each night and getting all passionate and shit too.
It lasted a week then he went home. Next week he had a new gf, another close friend of his, only girl he told bout being bi with me. She was whatever that thing that means just doesnt like sex, cant be bothered with it, but think him telling her about how he messed around with me made her trust him more and start relationship.
I'm rambling but basically I got used as a rebound.
He was reason I moved out of my flat back home last summer too, we were meant to then find a place together down where he lives. Now stuck at home, paint something each day and then spend the rest of the time wanting to kill myself, sleeping, occasionally watch movie or play game for 20mins before I hate the people in it and leave.
>>28384825
Was it very common for Japanese writers to self-insert in most of their stories?
>>28385202
Certainly! There's a whole genre for it--the I-novel.
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Novel
>>28384825
It's really inspirational seeing someone with a passion. I'm asking a lot of questions because I used to want to be a teacher as well.
I'm not familiar with Japanese literature, but both of those things sound like they would be interesting to read.
Do you write about things that aren't related to school?
>>28385471
Nah, I don't really write anything non-academic. Maybe you could consider translations not academic, since they're probably not going to be picked up by a university press, and none of it's for classes or anything.
There are already so few readers out there reading what's being being written that I'd feel silly writing fiction. Contemporary American lit is a whole bunch of mutual back patting that I don't really see myself being a part of.
What did you want to teach, anon?
>>28379930
19 in germany, probably autistic, kv and a weeb
Born in a loving and caring family,which was pretty overprotective, i felt i could never repay them for what they did to me.
I always feel my sister is better in any way than me, because she finished university with her exam in psychology and stuff, while i just started with engineering. The treatment i got compared to her felt too easy, too good for me, that I didnt deserve anything.
Im a caring person, I try to be as helpful as possible, or was at least after i got betrayed by a person that I loved, I confessed my love and she denied me and said she wants to be a transguy, just to be together with one of my best friends. I decided to just become a weeb and to study. I hated myself since I was in 5th grade because I belived I can't achieve anything without fucking up myself completely. And on many occasions, I did fuck up myself.
I tried everything : Weed, Alcohol, smoking, any possible addiction and it wouldnt make the situation better because my duties weigh heavily I feel. I always feel I have to fulfill the expectations and that I have to excel at that what I do because so many people trust in me.
After all the bullying that I had at school from 5th to 10th grade, I feel I will always stay as the living joke. I never had many friends but I could trust them until some person would take them away from me. Some event, some sentence, and just gone.
Since I was younger I was interested in World War 2 and its destructive power it carried, I love the tanks, their designs their armament.
I love the fighters for their variety and designs (Just look at all the Navy planes during the time)
>>28385582
Mutual back patting is a good way to describe it.
I like to write short stories, but I've never shown them to anyone. I doubt I ever will, but I have a ton of fun creating little worlds.
I didn't really have a specific subject, I just wanted to be a elementary school teacher. I think a teacher can be an amazing role model for children. Kids aren't really encouraged to read or explore different interests, which I think could impact them later on.
>>28382849
i'm worried about this, i have all the symptoms..
I'm a 22 year old fallen normie living in Georgia
had a schizophrenic break with reality 5-6 years ago and had a vision of the end of the world, I became a prepper and studied graphic art in my spare time. I had friends, girlfriends, a life everything and lost it all because of my sickness. i used to go out and be social but now barley can go to the grocery store because I feel like they are judging me.
I go out every weekend or so with my friends, if I can get past my social anxiety. I've known these people since Highschool and I feel like I can barley talk to them sometimes, it's like I'm an alien living in a persons skin.
I had an extremley screwed up life with an alcoholic father, we never lived in any one place for more than a year- 2 years at a time until I was 14, and by that time I was so messed up and socially awkward I was pretty much doomed.
Despite the fact that I'm 5'4 I've had one real life GF and several online Gf's, probably because I have a pretty good face. Still managed to end up as a KV (don't ask how because I don't know) my relationships all ended bitterly because I have severe trust issues due to my schizo-affective disorder and unrealistic expectations.
I'm going back to school for programming and am going to eventually do something entrepreneurial and plan to make an indie game, if not several. It is my passion and I enjoy it deeply. something about seeing the numbers and stats on the screen tickles my autism and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I feel like no matter what I accomplish or how much money I make I will never truly be a complete person. I see everyone else around me going on with their lives and being happy and some of them even having families, and it makes me wonder if I am just screwed up from my upringing or fundementally broken somehow. I feel like I talk and no one listens.
I'm happy from the standpoint that I can follow my dreams and achieve them, but also deeply saddened from my loss.
>19, white male, USA
>I have loser friends, I barely passed high school, diagnosed with aspergers in middle school or something (idk if i really have it)
>Not really as of now
>>28382620
RSK
>>28379930
Who am I?
My names Levi and I'm 22 living in KY soon to be JP.
What have I done with my life?
I got a fiancee and I'm almost done with school to further my objectives.
Are you happy?
I'm content right now. I haven't been happy in awhile.
>>28386211
>RSK
u wot m8?
I have two excellent guys hopelessly in love with me, saying that life ain't worth it if I'm not there even though I'm a fat NEET waste of life.
#femaleprivilege
>wake up at 10 am
>have a sliced fruit and cocoa for breakfast
>play videogames til 12pm
>have a cute lunch like the little girl i am
>watch anime/cartoon/tv/movies w/e
>paint my coloring books
>3-5pm
>daddy finally comes home
>jump on him and tell him how much i was missing him
>give him a drawing i made with so much love
>daddy tells it's bath time
>he cleans me and play with me while taking a bubble bath
>daddy dress me with whatever cute stuff he picks
>have dinner with daddy in the bed
>give him a massage
>play vidya together
>sleep time, we cuddle and i slowly touch his chest
>daddy is so awesome
>he tells me to be a good girl
>i know what that means
>insta-blush and do whatever daddy says i have to do
>daddy super duper happy
>kiss him, tell him he's the most awesome daddy in the woooorld
>fall sleep while hugging tightly
This is all I want ;_;
>>28387481
You have no idea how boring that gets. I lived like that and holy FUCK does it get tiring after a few years.
>>28387117
I hope youre a girl pretending to be a guy pretending to be a girl
>>28379930
>Who are you
24 year old hhkv neet. I was going to college to get a degree in computer science, but then I got suicidal from the fact that I was in fucking college and nothing had changed (I thought that I would finally be able to get friends and a gf) and dropped out. Now I'm living with my parents, who are going to be kicking me out in less then two weeks because I can't find a job. I'd kill myself but I don't want to go to hell or wherever for killing myself. Last thing I want to do is jump out of the frying pan and into the fire.
>What have you done with your life
Nothing. It's hard to do anything other then playing vidya because you're always depressed as fuck, and have no friends or talents.
>>28379930
>Who are you
A 19 year old who is a never ending circle of wanting to have friends but thinks everyone sucks. A loner./
>What have you done with your life
Career wise, a lot. Got a good job for my age right out of trade school. Socially tho.. It's all fucking horse shit. I've made so many of my high School friends leave me. :D
>Are you happy?
I try to be. I have a caring family, Good job, SOME friends.. But I still feel so lonely. I don't know what I feel.. Empty is probably the best way to describe it.
>>28379930
>as a child, leader of men
>or leader of children, rather
>super happy, super smart, etc.
>around age 11 start gaining weight and become super depressed, not sure which came first
>continue to gain weight; around 14 start smoking marihuana on the regular and hanging out with marihuana friends
>hate school, blow off all homework, ace all tests
>by 10th grade start skipping school entirely, selling pot with townies, have lots of good times
>drop out of high school
>start going to community college at 16
>start losing weight as well through a rational diet+exercise plan
>get into a good college at 18 with two years of credits, major in Latin Literature because I loved it in CC
>super weird kid still
>have normalfag friends but feel so isolated I felt like a walking corpse
>meet cool type people who are very smart etc.
>start selling marihuana with one of these people
>get into growing p. cubensis with the same
>this gets big and out of hand quickly
>living with opiate junkie and doing this and reading pagan poetry I literally go insane
>end up in psychiatric ward
>get put on antipsychotics
>miss graduation, though I did graduate with honors
>move back in with 'rents, wean self off antipsychotics
>get modest but comfy job with government
>after three years have another psychotic break
>get put on lithium this time, all is well
>reading classical poetry and doing my non-job, unsure what to do with life
'Sall good. I also had sex a few times in there but nothing worth mentioning. If I'd've been born a hundred years ago I'd be a monk. I'm pretty much entirely asexual and anorgasmic, I have never had a conscious orgasm but I scan Sappho in my sleep.
>>28387585
Idk, that's just my ideal m8. In another hand I wanna finish my career soon, I really hope to get a nice job (if I can work from home yay) but it's not necessary, I hit the gym and I wanna be strong, I'm kind of fit right now but I wanna get stronger because I would love to do rock climbing and other fit stuff. I know when I have to put my big girl pants on so I know it won't get boring
>>28387481
I was expecting something to fap to and I was disappointed.
>>28379930
I'm a firefighter, I do it for the rush, I don't care about helping people
I have lots of friends but none that I would tell anything about myself
No gf
I don't like any of my friends
I have chrons disease which makes life blow and is the only reason I couldn't join the military
>>28379930
>Who are you
I am an 18 year old college student, just got my first kiss with some random guy I met at a party and he was really drunk. Like 3 friends. Fat as fuck as well, but I have nice skin and hair so there's that
>What have you done with your life?
Ruined every single friendship I've ever had so a lot of people hate me for good reason. Got into a good college but want to drop out bc no friends and mediocre grades and bored with life
>Are you happy?
No, I am so fucking bored with my life I don't know what to do with myself
>>28381374
Hey you, answer this guy
>>28383387
>>28379930
>who are you
Some faggot that amounted nothing in his life and is now leeching his family
>what have you done with your life
Nothing worthwhile but I don't actually care much
>are you happy?
Nah, I haven't felt happy since years ago but I stopped caring somewhere along the way. Oddly enough my medication makes me feel shittier than normal
>>28381377
I'll be your friend. Do you live in NYC?
>>28381377
This is the saddest most depressing thing I've read today.
>>28381778
He is autistic.
I'm a 26 year old guy who was half normie/ half robot for a good portion of my life. I never had a girlfriend, didn't see the point since my hand did a good enough job of relieving my sexual tension. Plus I don't have to take my hand out on dates. Went to college at 18, then dropped out once I started making $30k a year at a health clinic doing basic receptionist tasks.
Got another job at a hospital 6 months ago as a night shift scheduler/staffer. Was making around $80k then, and felt like a fucking god. I blew money on Asian prostitutes, video games, liquor, went out with "friends" to Dave and Busters every weekend, give the homeless people near my job twenties, ate fatty tuna sushi for lunch. I didn't give a fuck about anything then, felt invincible.
But working 16 hours a day started to catch up with me. Plus I had forgotten that I was on a probationary period, which meant I could be fired for anything within a 3 month period. I came in late 4 times and my boss called me into her office. When she told me she was letting me go, it felt like I went deaf. My legs shook uncontrollably, as I walked outside. I didn't feel like going home. I didn't feel like going anywhere. Without a job, without a high paying job, I felt dead, like my manhood, my identity, died in that office.
Spent about 5 hours sitting on park bench, covered my face, and cried. Forgot how I got home. Bills started piling up one after the other. As I could no longer support myself, had to move back in with Mom. No more hookers, expensive food, all gone. Along with my "friends".
Between that time and now, I feel like I've gone crazy. There was no difference between day and night due to insomnia. Stopped talking to people; neighbors, family.
Decided to learn to code, and Japanese so that I could escape my failures in the USA and live out my weeb fantasies there. I'll die one day, might as well try to make my own happy ending. If it doesn't work out, there's plenty of roofs to jump from.
>>28379930
I typed up a lot here and then realized it doesn't even matter.
Brain damage, weeb, paranoia, hate myself.
Nice little summary.
>>28379930
Yah you're being pretty cruel encouraging these autistics arent ya?
19 yr old college student. Jobless. Studying in a network admin program. Been dealing with massive depression last 3 years. Just barely passed classes this semester. Most of the time just play vidya and watch dumb TV. Pretty much would've killed myself already if it wasn't for my GF. So yeah all in all pretty good.
Ozymandias teaches us not to build. Why live a life. Why spin a tale. Much less for you, stranger. I'm but a drop in a river that shaped a mountain that became a hill beneath the paws of a wandering dog. The details would fill a long, uninteresting book.
As for happiness, it only comes to those who don't go looking for it, and even then...
