When exactly do women shit?
I've never even noticed a hint of it happening or seen a girl spend more than a few minutes in the toilet.
>>28373374
They shit quicker than you do because they go when its practically too late and they don't force it like its putting up a fight.
Also since they sit to piss it's not a differentiated event to them as much as it is with men. Who tend to settle in and take their time.
>>28373374
My area of expertise!
I have been married for nearly a year now and I go to the most OUTRAGEOUS lengths to try to avoid going to the bathroom to poop when he could even walk into the toilet afterward.
I have always been pretty regular as a once-a-day girl, so have adjusted my schedule so I have this time when he is nearly guaranteed to be at work. He leaves before I do, so generally mornings.
On weekends, I wait until he has just joined a game on his computer.
On honeymoon it was quite tricky but my 'never use a public toilet' rule lost out to my 'husbands should not have to know how bad their wives smell' rule and I utilised public restrooms rather than anything in a hotel.
It can be a challenge but some of us do work hard to maintain the illusion that we are mystical non-pooping angels.
>>28373374
my wife goes every morning when she wakes up.
me 2 tbo but while it's less healthy to do so, men like to sit on the toilet longer and are more likely to have problems that retard the pooping.
>>28373475
Please yes help me with this one!
My husband is all about aaages spent on the toilet. I was worried I was feeding him something he had an unknown intolerance for, but he just appears to love spending time on the toilet? He sometimes leaves it a repugnant mess as well, but I have decided that he just doesn't care and I do, so I clean it basically every other day.
Is he dying of a dread bowel disease or is this just the way that men are?
>>28373374
Caught my gf pooping...so I broke up with her. She said shes off to pee while were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspicious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!' she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the fuk up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a goddam log, bitch u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS UR POOP U WHORE, she screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. i told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with u u some kinda poop whore. and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesnt poop.keeping this pasta for 4 years
>>28373374
Once when we were in high school my older sister left the door unlocked with the lights off in the bathroom really early in the morning for one of those "wake and bake" kind of poops. I thought nobody was awake (probably her assumption too) and so I barged in the door ready to drop a deuce. She started screaming at me like it was my fault, then wouldn't speak to me the rest of the day.
I never got to do my own morning poop that day.
For the most part, women poop pretty fast. I think the longest my wife has spent on the toilet is 3 minutes and that was after being constipated for a week. My theory is, they shit fast because they are built for squeezing humans out so little poops are nothing to them. So when a chick says she is going to piss, she's probably rocketing out some turds at the same time.
>>28373534
I am pretty sure all women genuinely fear this is what would happen.
Not to mention the terror of that surprise finger in your bum during sex, and trying to think back as to how thoroughly you cleaned that passage.
They don't. If it poops it's secretly a man. You've all been dating trannys
>>28373534
das a good one anon
2bh all of the women i know are healthier than the men, so they are quicker and cleaner on the toilet, theres no battle to get it out and not so much wiping needed
>>28373374
>spend more than a few minutes in the toilet
I literally sit down, get it out and start wiping
it takes me less than five minutes to take a shit and get out of the bathroom, and it's solid shit too
maybe you need more water or fiber in your diet?
>>28373438
Do you keep a lot of things from him? Do you not want him to fully know you?
>>28373653
Back to tumblr plz
>>28373853
She knows that she'll lose her value in his eyes if he finds out she poops.
I work as a commercial plumber, and I'm sorry to say that women shit fucking bricks. 90% of my stopped toilet calls are in women's bathrooms. The loads I've seen, give me nightmares of the yeti like bitches that produce them, but all I ever see in these office buildings are little qt's.
>>28374400
Do you pop a boner when you think of the little qts straining on the loo?
>>28374422
Never once. You can always tell who done it too. They won't make eye contact and everyone looks at them funny. I've seen shit that makes me want to never touch a woman again.
>>28374478
How do I keep my pipes clear so I don't have to call a plumber?
>>28373653
This. I don't know why guys don't like eating vegetables but they help move things along nicely. If you all would eat your broccoli then pooping would be easier for boys.
>>28374551
I've never met a girl who liked vegetables unless they were in a McSalad
what does grilly poo look like?
>>28373438
Together for eight years, and same. He still hasn't experienced me pooping.
Unfortunately that's probably going to get messed up since I'mpregnantright now. Birth is no good for dignity.
>>28374627
>pregnant
is pregnant poo different from non pregnant poo?
No only do girls poop, but friends who have daughters have told me that when changing their diapers poop gets all over and in the vagina. If that doesn't put you off women nothing will.
>>28374640
You get constipated a bit more often, but since I upped my fiber intake and started drinking a lot more water, it evened back out. Pretty much same as normal now.
>>28374640
It's a combination of the lady poo and the baby poo
>>28374688
what if you accidentally push too hard and you push your kid out of your vagina into the poo toilet water?
>>28374513
Male or female? I generally don't find male bathrooms a problem. Most can use a plunger themselves, so I'm only called when a snake is needed. Main thing for both is not putting shit in it that doesn't belong. Men don't have as many issues with that. Fucking women think it's a magical hole that can handle anything they want to throw down it. Had this one job, a bitch was throwing whole used pads in the toilet. I snake the drain and pull out a pad the size of my head. Told them the problem, and still had to come back everyday that week because the bitch kept doing it. Also tampons aren't flushable no matter what the box says. It's an item that's made to soak up as much liquid as possible with out breaking up. All it takes is for the cotton string to catch onto something and it will swell big enough and catch enough shit to block your pipes.
>>28374706
That's not how the human body works, anon.Believe me, I googled it in fear.
>>28374735
>That's not how the human body works, anon.
>>28374735
Have you ever done anal?
I always poop in the morning. :3
>>28373853
Oh it's not that.
I don't know what it is. I want him to always get the best of me. All that, 'if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best' stuff? Nonsense. It's more, 'If you have my at my best most of the time, then occasionally you will probably put up with my worst and love me anyway.'
What I like to think is that one day I am going to be massively ill. Feverish, puking, gross. I want to have enough 'non-gross' points built up to cover those inevitable situations.
>>28374656
Grown women shouldn't be shitting their pants like a baby. If you shit your pants right now, I bet you'd have shit on your nuts.
>>28374627
Well done you! You give me hope that I can keep this going indefinitely.
I think that you're right about birth, but my theory is that you have so much stored-up dignity that he'll be able to handle it without seeing you as perpetually gross afterward.
>>28374794
Does your husband happen to be an ass man as well? Mine is, which is why I'm particularly protective about that area not seeming gross.
idk why women are scared of their shit. i've read some stories about women being scared of their 5+ year boyfriend catching them taking a shit
the fuck is this? he sticks his dick in you and you're scared of him catching you taking a shit?
>>28374627
You think it's bad now. Wait until the kid drops and can move around. You'll never shit in peace again, and your man will know when you shit. You'll have about three/four options, and all involve him knowing exactly what you're doing.
>close the door, while the kid cries for you outside of it
>ask him to distract the kid while you go
>let the kid in, and it will tell on you
>leave the door open and let your funk flag fly
>>28374979
>visit sister and her newborn
>she shits with the bathroom door open
>the kid is crying nonstop
>everything is fucking sticky
>>28375195
Newborns just cry, wait until the spawn can get around, or ask questions through the door while you go
>>28374979
I already have to deal with the cry outside the door/let them in thing with my cats. They will body slam it and yowl repeatedly until I open it so they can come in and start fighting at my feet.
Probably I'll just do it before a shower and have the shower running, so it seems like I'm just showering a lot instead of going to the bathroom. I do that sometimes now.
>>28375363
your kid's gonna grow up really fucked up
you know that, right?
someday you'll remember this post, and cry
>>28375404
Why would you think so? Because I've planned to take a long shower in the future?
Women dont shit. Everyone knows that. Luckily we have photoshop.
>>28374829
Yes! He is REALLY into my butt. I don't want to ruin his sex life by associating it with grossness.
>>28375363
>thinking you'll get peaceful showers either
Shower/shit when they sleep. If everyone is home and awake you're still fucked. The problem is you have to choose to do everything while they sleep, including sleep yourself. Not taking dumps in front of your man will be the first casualty.
>>28375363
Yesss this is a quality move!
>>28375592
I'm really not that hung up on it. I work from home so I'll have plenty of poop time when husband is away at work and I'm at home with the kid. Sans weekends.
>>28375418
no you silly cunt, because your kid's mom browses a malaysian face-painting imageboard full of degeneracy
>>28375626
I avoid degeneracy, and am a pretty good person otherwise. Just because I don't like talking to people doesn't make me bad. I'll do it for socializing kids, but as a personal choice, I prefer anonymity.
>>28375592
Nope.
Had a baby, still hid my bowel movements using magical techniques.
"No honey, you stay asleep, I'll get up and feed the baby..."
when the baby goes back to sleep, you go to the bathroom then.
There is a way around everything.
>>28375736
I'm not saying there aren't ways around it just that most women drop the act, because it becomes less important when compared to other things. If you work and have kids especially. Sleep becomes more important than hiding your shits. Once your kids start talking, how do you expect to stop your kids from blowing up your spot. "Ugh mommy, stunk up the whole house while you work daddy."
>>28375847
Most people keep air fresheners in the bathroom so that doesn't happen anyway. I had a boss who would always light a match.
>>28373374
>there is at least one girl on the planet pooping right now
>>28375882
>one
qeq
>>28373438
>This is unironically how women choose to spend their time
You literally can't make this shit up, senpai.
>>28378527
How does any of that take up a significant amount of time? She would still be in the bathroom regardless. She's just shifting when she does it.
