Suicidal
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
I'm so bored with life
I'm not sad all the time and rarely really sad. I'm just in a constant boredom and I'm never really happy I just smile and act accordingly infront of others but alone it's just emptiness. I'm done really I'm bored and exhausted of living the adults always tried to make it seem fun and fulfilling and they lied and the funny thing is that it dose not get better and everyone one will say it gets better. Even though the words taste bitter in my mouth I want to die and commit suicide and even thinking about suicide makes me anxious but I really think it's an option
. This probably does not make sense I jut needed somewhere to vent. Feel free to post your thoughts
I think the same way. :(
I heard the most painless is cpap tube, cpap mask and a helium tank.
I've been thinking on jumping off a building, but the fact that my mother would probably kill herself too if I were to do such a thing keeps me alive. She doesn't deserve a sad end like that.
>>28365822
Look at this. It might help.
>>28365950
That's what my mum told me too. She said she couldn't live without me.
i mean you could give up, sure. but that's the easy way out
The way i see it is we're put here with no direction and no instructions. We make of this life what we want to. It's not about how other people define success or meaning, it's about what you attribute to your own experience.
This life is a brief ride that may or may not matter in some greater sense. So while literal suicide is one option (a lazy one imo), consider this:
If you detach yourself from the 'meaningless' reality around you and seek your own fulfillment, you become free. If you're on the edge of suicide already, you have nothing left to lose. Go do whatever the fuck you want. Experience life. We /are/ this universe experiencing itself, so why not enjoy the ride while it lasts. We're all going to die at some point anyways, so why not fuck around a little bit before you do?
>>28365950
All robots are together in this struggle that we call life. We decide what to do. Think about all the things you will miss out on if you die. Not seeing the end of Game Of Thrones helps me. Not playing the next elder scrolls.
Just find something that is worth living for. Most people have kids because of this.
>>28365822
Don't kill yourself, airbud.
Separate yourself from society. Return to primal life. Pack a backpack full of supplies, cut your hair and enter the wilderness.
Society an all of its extensions and luxuries are what is making life so fucking easy, boring and dull. Vanish into the outside, where you will be forced to actually care about life and survival.
That's what I'm going to do when I run out of my money soon. Whether you decide to join me, it is an alternative that destroys comfort and safety to instead create value and primal purpose that we all carry.
I don't even know what's wrong with me or what to believe my brain is mushed my emotions don't make sense. I couldn't even begin to explain how I feel and if I go get diagnosed and ask to see a therapist everyone will be shocked since I'm the clown always making people laugh and they will feel forced to treat me like a special snowflake. I WANT OUT OF THIS RACE TRACK
>>28365976
What do you do when you're down playing with a video game because
A) you can't finish it
Or
B) you get bored of it
You quit that's what I want to do I am not ashamed to admit defeat. The struggles of the modern day are too much for me. And I quit
>>28366185
That's what I want to do but I'm so afraid of the unknown and have been shelters in this 21st century bubble that I would be freaking out over the change. But this is what I'm looking into
>>28366263
Fear will always be with you; that's part of returning to an ancient way of life. Like you said, you haven't really had to worry about much danger within the comfort of society. Leaving that changes everything.
While fear will never leave your side when in the wilderness, you can at the very least have knowledge. Be smart, know what lurks in the darkness and be prepared to face it with your life.
Every night you want to sleep and still don't have a significant structure, climb tall trees and tie your waist around the stop with a rope and rest. Every day will be one of purpose and invigoration. You will want to live, you will want to survive.
This is surely the way man was intended to live.
Pic related is me right now. Some days I will have great days and can keep my mind out of that area but as soon as I'm alone I fall apart
Life is so grating. I can't stand this.
>>28366445
Everytime I pass by a Forrest a part of me just falls in love with the lore and beauty it's almost like I'm enchanted by a spell it has put on me and it's calling me. I've always felt a real connection to nature but in theory it's nice but in practice it will be harder than expected. But yu are right fear is apart of human emotion and it would be great to escape from this vapid place
>>28366185
Where are you anon? I want to do this. I live in arizona. I'm not sure where i'd go, i'd probably want to get to the forests in the northwest. Do you think this is a viable thing to do? Ever since i was like 11 years old ive wanted to trek into the wilderness and learn from nature
>>28365976
There is no "But". Yes its the easy way out but that isn't any sort of reason not to do it. the "laziness" of suicide is also not a reason to not commit suicide. Never mind the sort of mental gymnastics that spun the yarn thereafter.
>>28366560
You are correct; it is calling you. It's asking you to return to where you belong.
The hardship of the wilderness is what gives man purpose. In my experience, mother nature and all of its creatures are unkind, but human society is ultimately the more dangerous and life-sucking poison that may not literally kill you, but kill your will to live.
Give yourself will. Give yourself something new and mysterious to look at everyday. There's so much out there that just lies alone, silent in the empty world. Find it, my friend. Find it all.
>>28365976
>go do whatever you want
There is something called the law. It circumscribes most of the realm of possible human action and If you break it they put you in jail where its even more difficult to commit suicide. Dumb normie
>>28365914
WHERE IS YOUR HIJAB WHORE!
>>28365822
I know how you feel brother. All I can say is what has helped me. Make small goals and actually work to accomplish them. Even work out a bit a few times a week. It generally helps you feel better and when you're working towards something you enjoy the grind.
>>28366623
I live in the northwest, Spokane Washington. The expanse between here and Seattle is a seemingly endless expanse of forests and plains, quiet rivers with uninhabited islands resting within them. North, south and east are all vast mountain ranges that host huge valleys and usually water flow all around them.
I strongly suggest living here. When I do run out of all my savings soon, I will vanish into the endless rows of trees and flower fields and never return. I hope that some of you will join me.
>>28365976
>i don't understand what depression is
Things like this remind you why you are alive. It reminds you of that juvenile desire for adventure that all men have lost touch with after many years of living in a static life. Come back to where you were born, where you were meant to be, meant to belong.
>>28366872
I've been thinking about doing this for some time now. I know it'd be hard but that's kinda the point isn't it?
The weird thing is i used to think about suicide a lot but for some reason those thoughts changed into leaving.
>>28365976
This
It's sad that there are nasty forces out there that would try to steal what this guy is saying away from you, but letting them do it is even more sad
>>28367121
Yes, it is the ultimate challenge. One that will mean endangering yourself and forcing adaption to a way of life thousands of years old. Your life will be worthwhile and you will certainly want to preserve it in your newfound journey.
Suicide is a product of a monotone life. We are overstimulated with so much garbage in and out of our homes that the only way we see to escape is in death. It's truthful, but the idiotic choice of the two.
The second choice is leaving, as you said. Leave society, friends, family, hatred, love and all of those poisonous thoughts behind. Leave it all behind.
Make sure that you sleep in high places when you first start out; don't sleep in valleys if you can avoid it. Like I mentioned earlier, when you are in the wilderness, there will be so many mistakes you will make but this is a learning curve. Just be smart enough to not get killed.
Sleep high and travel along rivers and you will always have food and water. Once you've found a nice spot, you can begin life again.
The one and only cure to depression is helping others. If you can do it in person with them, it will help even more.
The more you help others, the better you feel about life. You feel as though your existence has meaning. And, if you help them while in person with them, some of them may even show you appreciation. That makes you feel good and wanted. You feel like your life has value to others.
My advice would be to volunteer. You NEED someone to tell you that your presence is valued, and they need to mean it (not say it just to get you to stop suiciding). Become a volunteer, and hopefully your group members or the people you're helping say that they appreciate you. This is the only way out of depression.
If you go out into the woods, you'll feel even more alone than you do now. Sure, man was meant to be in the woods. But more importantly, man was meant to be in a tribe of people who value him. If you go out into the woods alone, you're not going to get that, and eventually you'll be in a worse place than before. You're a pack animal.
And if you help enough people, maybe you'll make one bro who'll be the hero you need.
>>28365822
makes sense
especially given the lack of futuristic robot butlers
>>28367355
Fuck this sounds nice. Seattlefag here that is at least interested in the idea. What do you plan to bring for supplies?
Biologically you are intended to be raising children by your mid 20s and by then your line of thinking is supposed to have matured to where you see yourself as no longer living for yourself, but rather sacrificing the remainder of your life to raise your young successfully. After having done that you're supposed to die. For those who for some reason can't or won't mature to that phase of life, life can seem pointless. It's very easy in modern times when everything is so unnatural, to be led astray from what life as a living organism is actually "about". It's really very simple. You grow yourself until 18, work on finding a mate and building a nest, spawn young, then sacrifice the remainder of your entire self to raise that young then die. As all animals have done since time immemorial.
>>28367355
It's nice to know i'm not the only one who's though about this i mean i was sure there were others who felt the same way but i never saw anyone talking about it
>>28367367
I HATE other people. Psychopathy is a direct refutation of your brilliant theory
>>28367658
Most people don't have that. It's a mental illness, and my "theory" (more like law) isn't meant for people who are psychopathic.
>>28365822
It may not get better for you at the moment anon, but that doesn't mean that you can't better the lives of others, does it? If you dedicate your life to helping people in need, you may find a purpose for living, and maybe even happiness; at the very least it is a possible cure for your insatiable boredom. And if none of those come to pass/ stick, you might as well do it anyway and put your life to use rather than just throwing it away. I've been through similar thoughts, and doing what I described before help in ways I didn't even think of. I went from robot to a level of practically Chad, and I have qt3.14159 grillfren to top things off. It's not really easy. Nothing worthwhile in life is. But that's what is so amazing about the lives we live! We strive and achieve and build and conquer and shape the world we live in with practically no outline or template or anything! Please let me know if you take my advice. Even if you don't, kik me. I would thoroughly enjoy speaking with you, anon. My kik is: zacklacka
-a friend
P.S. I hope you don't let thoughts like the ones in that post win you over, any existence is better than none at all forever.
>>28365976
I used to think this way before I became depressed. What you have to realize is that even IF the world was our oyster, we still wouldn't want any part of it. "You were suicidal so why not bang hookers and skydive? You were gonna die anyway." I didn't want any of that. Nothing made me happy, especially not simple hedonism. I wanted nothing else but to sleep.
>>28367758
Assuming you're telling the truth, which isn't guaranteed,
What's the best way to help lots of people and make lots of friends at the same time.
In fact, after getting your looks, hygiene, money handled, what's the best way to get a gf?
>>28367562
First and foremost, bring at least two bags. Your primary bag will be the largest and needs to be sturdy enough to hold a lot of weight. You will use this bag to carry everything when you first venture into the wilderness.
The second bag is used for when you leave the primary bag behind at whatever you decide your "campsite" to be; I would strongly suggest tying it around a tree fairly high up(Out of reach of animals and possibly anyone else who may pass though). The secondary bag is a scout bag that you use to spend the day collecting any materials you need that are far away from the camp and returning to the site by sundown. Something smaller but enough to carry large amounts of fruit/wood etc.
Then of course the supplies.
>Steel pots for boiling/disinfecting water
>nice lighter(you should probably learn how to use classical methods of fire starting if you want this to be long term)
>A TON of strong rope. Bring as many feet as you can fit.
>For clothes use denim pants and denim long sleeve as your basic wear with construction quality boots and gloves, place snow resistant coat w/ hood and snow pants along with balaclava for sleeping(This is necessary for both winter because of the cold and even some nights in summer where bugs are swarming your face. Try not to leave any skin exposed if you can)
>Cutting tools of all kinds. Hatchet, bowsaw, survival knife, hunting knife at the very least.
>As far as containers and bowls and such go, anything steel or self constructed out of rock or wood works.
For Shitting, good luck. You had better have a river nearby or else you are in trouble. Shitting in the river makes wiping a hell of a lot easier(almost effortless) and you don't have to worry about the smell attracting animals.
But most of all, you won't accidentally use a poisonous leaf to wipe your ass. Do not EVER DO THAT. Not even if you know for certain that it isn't poisonous. You will suffer and die. Don't drink downstream from shit/washing spot obv.
>>28367645
It's the only logical way out of this self-created hell mankind lives within. Returning to our natural state is the only life worth living that gives genuine meaning to self-existence to be quite honest.
What do you live for guys? Is anything worthwhile? Am I being 2spooky?
I could make a goal and throw myself into it, but what if it isn't physically possible for me to achieve it? Move to a new one? What if I fail? Do I find a new goal? What if I reach it? Just keep making goals til I die? Should I follow a more stoic approach? Goals where little is outside my control? Then again most everything is from a cosmic perspective? Will want just lead to more want? Doesn't Buddhism tackle something like that? Not becoming a buddhist though. How do I find a will to live? An acceptance of death? What do you guys think?
>>28368007
Nah m8 you're being too romantic. I love nature n shiet but then you have to deal with bugs, parasites, and unglamorous disease like dysentery. You can't read out there either(where you gonna get the books nigga?) You'll stagnate mentally, and you can't make better decisions with less knowledge. I'm not totally against it though, I just don't see why someone would think cutting off resources of knowledge would be a good idea. Then again were you going to read literature and logic much anyway?
>>28368074
You are absolutely correct, it is certainly not as glamorous as the pictures convey. Health will deteriorate and depending where you decide to venture, certain insects will be more than annoying.
However this isn't a method for practicality, otherwise I would just head out for a day or two and return home to my vast access to knowledge and luxury. It is a cure for depression. A way of finding purpose for those who have none. Literature isn't on their agenda and it won't be on mine once I disappear.
>>28368009
I only have two things I care about anymore, one of those things being my little brother. He's growing up without a father, and I know he loves me to death. The other thing is really stupid, and I feel like an idiot even bringing it up, but I'm in a really strange open relationship with some other guy online. He's lonely, like me. We spend a lot of time together, basically all of our time together. I lean on him really hard to make myself feel better, and I'm sure it's weighing down on him. Sometimes I wonder if he'll get sick of my crybaby nonsense, and just tell me to fuck off, but as of right now he tries to make me feel good about myself. Which I can't say for many other people.
>>28368074
One additional note I forgot to mention:
This is an alternative to suicide for many people. A way of vanishing from society without dying. People like myself will only follow this path after reaching the end of the metaphorical rope and must make a decision to live or die.
The wilderness has disease, predators and insects. These all kill a man. However, as a person who hugged the cusp of suicide, these possibilities and definite encounters with death's friends will not make a difference. Fear will always be present, but that's a byproduct you will have accepted at that point in the path.
>>28368147
Ja feel. I hope you find adventure and awesome locations. Godspeed naturebot
If you ever return, make sure to share your stories
even 90% of normies admit life is shit
if they can see it, through all the hedonism, what fucking hope does that give the rest of it?
>>28368184
I couldn't kill myself now because of my sister and parents. I'd have to disappear, wait until I'm not relevant in their lives anymore, then pull the trigger with my back to a cliff.
I'll stick it out til I'm like 25 though maybe. At least that way I can say it was somewhat an informed decision. Gives me time to think.
I wish I could give you advice or wisdom, but I'm no genius. Best of luck anon, at least someone loves you
>>28368439
Even if life is painful, should you end it? Is pain not any more arbitrary than pleasure? What could possibly change that would make life not shitty?
>>28368320
The way i see it is dying out there is better and more fulfilling for myself than suicide or waking up everyday unhappy where i am now .
>>28368461
Thank you, that means a lot to me. I'm 25 right now, actually. I feel like I'm far too old to be living the life I do, but I buckle under the pressure so easily. I haven't kept a job for longer than a week, and it's very hard to find help.
I hope you can find a light in your life, and decide suicide isn't what you're after.
>>28368485
That's what I was trying to convey in my lack of coherency. Thank you.
It makes life more than repetition. And when that repetition is one of melancholy and returning sadness, there's no point.
Break the cycle, never return.
>>28368577
We're all gonna make it brah
>>28368587
I thought that cloud was a mountain at first
I dont want to piss on your parade but fucking off into the forest is most likely not going to help you. Everything you take for granted will become glaringly obvious and it will be an immense struggle to survive.
In boredom lies security and familiarity.
>>28368635
Isn't that the point thought? To struggle? To have challenge? To have some sort of purpose in that battle with the elements?
Live or die, it's a tool for purpose.
>>28368727
Well personally i just want a job that is reasonably enjoyable or at least tolerable, limited social interaction and a little spare cash to spend on shitty old bikes/cars. I want boring comfortable and useful but im missing the useful bit currently and there a certain discomfort if you cant provide for yourself
Ive had to accept that my life will be relatively shit but i just want to get to that sad monotony not play man vs wild in a tropical forrest
Gray u in this thread bro? If so post ur fav movie
