Why don't you join the army, /r9k/?
Pros:
>get to kill people, will relieve some of your virgin angst
>will force you to lose weight, they may even send you to fat camp
>will be fed, housed and payed, no more saving up NEET bux and GB points
>plenty of chances for /mischief/ like blowing up innocent villages and rape
>can fap whenever you like as long as you're not on duty
>will teach you how to keep clean and organize your life
>ladies love a man in uniform, you may even get a gf
Cons:
>less time to shitpost on 4chan, may be a good thing if you do it too much
>less time for vidya, same as above
>>28355852
They didn't want me.
my lung collapsed, and I hear you have to wait for three years to join
>>28355852
I would but I'm a skelly.I genuinely have no muscles at all.
>>28355852
If anything i had more time for 4chins and vidya in the military
Not sure if my eyesight is good enough. I can't make out the words on my screen 2 feet away from me without glasses.
>>28355992
My cousin was ultimate skelly and he still made it, all you need to do is adopt a strong will to make it pass the 3 months of training and you'll make it.
just push yourself enough to not mess up.
also be a team player, that's what my cousin reccomendedtfw I would have joined right now in a heartbeat but I have no HS diploma
>>28355852
I'm gonna, losing weight right now because I'd have no hope of passing basic in my current state. Doing Scooby's push up routine too.
Will probably go for the air force though, seems more robot friendly.
>>28355852
>>28355852
That's what im aiming for senpai, nothing to lose :^)
Lost weight and started working out to join. Gonna kill some normies for y'all.
I'd probably just end up hurting myself if I ever tried.
>>28356118
They take niggas with GEDs
Do they let mentally ill people into the army?
Go for Navy if you want easier boot camp. Pro tip if you are fat you will pass the basic swimming class requirement.
The Army (odds are you won't be Marine material) will break you down and build you up into someone else.
I think for people who suffer from severe personality defects it could be a great start.
>>28355852
>cons: might die in your 20s at the hands of some shitskin towelhead
forgot about that minor one anon
>>28356118
Sad to hear that
Also I have a strong will, but I don't think I can handle all the training.The biggest problem are my hands, I can do max 10 correct push ups before falling.My legs are alright since I've been cycling a lot, I can do lots of squats.
>>28356241
I like memes and anime and Vidya right now. Will I still retain my personality or will I be a different person? Is it just instilled self discipline?
>>28356241
Why not Chair Force then?
I'm getting a little old for the military. I don't think I'd care to do pointless tasks for 20 somethings who outrank me. The irony is after the life I've had I would finally have the skills and mindset for it now. I doubt there's anything a drill instructor could say that would get under my skin. I've seen some fucked up things, got some skill with firearms, and survived more injuries than a lot of the lower ranked enlisted men. If I was going to do it, it would have been for Afghanistan, to pay back those towelheads back for 9/11.
>>28356250
Don't you want to die Anon?
Most robots preach on how they wanna end it all, so why not let some shitskin do it for you?
>>28356452
That's a shit reason to enlist. If you join up, it should be to defend the country and your brothers in arms. I don't want some guy with a deathwish watching my ass, and neither would any soldier. If you want to die that much, just save everyone the trouble and pull the trigger yourself.
If you been the odd man out it probably wont change much in basic. Met some really cool people in the Army. Really the only place I felt like I was part of something even if I'm still the odd one out a lot of the time like you belong there.
>>28355992
Literally this, there are girls stronger than me.
>>28356357
>. I doubt there's anything a drill instructor could say that would get under my skin.
Haha the second your ass gets off that bus I bet you'd look the most panic'd out of the bunch. Why do you think you know better than someone that's younger than you? Rank doesn't mean shit unless you're an NCO and even if one were younger than you he's got more time and experience in he's probably forgot more shit about the Army than you've even learned. I bet you'd be the "I don't have to listen to you, you're a private." type
Man I fucking hate ground guiding guys like that.
>Signal turn your wheel right
>Turns left
>Listens to my stop command at least so he didn't hit anything.
>Repeat like 3 times.
"You're a bad ground guide"
ffs
Also that Afghanistan bullshit is just dumb. The bulk of ISIS are foreigners, they try to frame the US as crusaders when they literally are an invading... Wouldn't want to call it an army but they got enough numbers and financing, fighting for what they consider holy land. They're the modern day wannabe crusaders. America brought a justice and set up a democracy to give a voice to everyone, they just wanna put people that they think are different from them to the sword.
We're not even at war with them anyway.
Robots only want to shoot people who can't shoot back.
>>28355852
In Canada our military is currently downsizing because of lack of funding, they aren't really open for recruits right now, the war in Afghanistan ended as soon as I became able to even sign up.
As soon as a new war starts I'm literally sprinting to the recruitment office. I don't care if it's a war for Israel I've got an itch to grease some sandniggers and blow things up that I've been waiting to scratch for like 4 years.
>>28357111
TOP BANTZ
originalcommentfuckyou
>>28355852
You become the ultimate cuck, risking your life for Shekelsteins who wage wars.
>>28357418
Almost every historically relevant alpha has some done some military service.
>>28357300
you won't be greasing anybody or blowing shit up, kid. dinner is ready and don't forget your moma needs to tuck you in bed early tonight.
>>28356930
That's today. We went to war for different reasons than the occupation continues. I have already seen enough crazy shit for one lifetime. A sketchy kind of life that I don't feel should be disclosed in full, but as to one example I've got a knife wound for which I had 18 stitches. Or there was the time I got burned with a cigarette. Don't tell me a little ego bruising from a harsh drill instructor is going to trump the scars I have from some of this shit.
Hell, I even jumped out of a plane just to practice staying cool under pressure. It's pretty hard to get under my skin, but I am too belligerent for them though I suppose. I don't like people telling me what to do when I don't see that it has a purpose. If you don't join the military to serve in a war though, then there's no real point to it other than to cruise on benefits.
>>28357111
Dont we shoot them from drones from far far away?
>>28357470
Million betacucks die, one chad gets history books written about him.
Which one do you think you'll be, robot friend?
>>28357477
Somebody has to kill durkas and blow shit up, I'm going to try my best to make sure I'm the one to do it.
Also I'm 22 years old and have been living on my own and paying my own bills since 19
>>28357490
Did you just cigarettes burn?
>>28357517
Dying is still better than continuing my worthless, dead-end existence.
I don't live in USA or Africa.
>>28355852
Already did -- 6 years.
Biggest mistake of my life.
Actual pros:
>Loads of disposable income --I was taking first class flights across the country on weekends
>People love soldiers for some reason
>free college when you get out or student loans paid
>You beat out other people applying for jobs, people love hiring vets
Cons:
>Everyone in the army is a stupid nigger and/or a bully; Good luck making friends if you're a smart robot
>Snitches everywhere
>Stupid culture of treating new people like shit
>You will be treated like a retard your entire career
>Girls will want to get that sweet guaranteed paycheck off you (Dependapotamus)
>>28357490
>It's pretty hard to get under my skin, but I am too belligerent for them though I suppose. I don't like people telling me what to do
Yup confirmed "I don't have to listen to you" types.
Drill Sergeants would love you buddy, if weren't too old to hack it I'd say you'd fit right in for OSUT type MOS but any Drill Sergeants would love to have you for any length of time.
>>28357556
No, I had a slashing cut to my chest. I stopped the bleeding with duct tape till I got to the hospital. Watch yourself around tweakers.
>>28357654
>Drill Sergeants would love you buddy
They can't do anything except work you out. Basic training is the biggest fucking joke. Every time I got in trouble I just pretended I was tired after 1 iteration of every exercise. You can't get in trouble for being tired.
t. 6 year vet
I feel like you forgot the biggest con of all.
>Might die in horrible pain or get captured by faggot ISIS and run over by a tank while burning alive.
>>28357654
Ha, coming from a military man I'll take that as a compliment.
>>28355852
We're drawing down in Afghanistan after the longest conflict in US history you're very much unlikely to see action.
>>28355852
>implying anyone here would pass the mental evaluations
>>28357793
I don't think it's too difficult to lie your way through those kinds of things.
>>28357829
It's hilariously easy.
>Ever think of hurting yourself or others?
No
>Ever attempted suicide
No
>Do you have any existing medical conditions?
No
You're in. They don't fucking check.
>>28357708
I have fond memories of it, hearing a guy that was acting all tough and getting up in my face in the bay a few days before about how he wants to fight me crying and pleading over a few push ups. Real tough guy, hard not to start laughing when they grovel like that. Kind of depressing they don't have more self respect though nearly takes all the fun out of it.
>>28357856
The only fond memory I have of basic training was trolling some guy into fighting me. He attacked me in the bathroom and I didn't do anything back. He got kicked out. It was awesome.
>>28356118
>Needing a high school diploma to join the Army
wtf? I always thought one of the best things about the military was that it's a place a young dumbass/dropout with literally no future can go to make something of himself
>>28357940
1 in 5 families in the US nobody works. They can be as choosy as they want, tons of people want to join it's no longer a last ditch option but something you have to have the qualifications for nowadays.
>>28355852
I would if I didn't have a fear of flying
>>28357940
You can get a high school diploma in prison, there's not really an excuse to be dropping out of high school these days considering how easy it is. I think they just want recruits to be able to read, write and do basic math.
>>28357940
You believed the "There will be a shit job for you if you're a fuck up" meme use to tell you all the time in high school
>>28357872
Really? Pretty much every day was something memorable for me.
>>28355852
> too fat
> weak
> mentally insane
> shitty eyesight
they wouldn't want me, not even in a war
>>28358069
You know you can lose weight, work out and wear glasses right?
Not sure what to do about the mental insanity though.
>>28358058
I joined after I graduated college and done some shit, so nothing I did in the Army was ever that cool to me.
>>28358016
If I dropped out of school should I kill myself?
>>28358141
Get a GED cucko it's not hard at all, illiterate prison niggers can get them.
>>28355852
Other cons:
>most likely won't even want you unless you're young enough (you're hardly a robot if you're still under AT LEAST 21)
>have to get along with Chads and macho meathead normies and if you don't you're going to be their bitch
>no place for introverts aside from high ranking positions
>autism makes you much more likely to be killed
Is this really a good idea for robots?
>>28358131
Yeah I've noticed the American educated college kid compared to someone else earning citizenship but college educated is a lot different there.
American college kids are always pulling out the "I signed up to do military stuff not this" line.
>>28358165
I have a GED and 18 college creds. Should I try to join the army or is it a mistake? I'm 23 so I feel really old ofc.
>get to kill people, will relieve some of your virgin angst
Unless you're in some special ops group you won't be doing shit right now or for the foreseeable future.
>>28358117
not with _these_ eyes... and I'm pretty sure they don't like borderlines...
>>28358248
Just a very stark difference in attitude. The other guys are better to work with and more interesting to talk to, they tend to know the bible like actual passages and specific stuff and have a conversation about. Or just getting a look into their perspective of America vs. where they are from and how they viewed things there.
>>28358248
I was a linguist so I just wanted to do my fucking job and speak/listen to some Arabic.
4/6 years I had NO Arabic.
>>28358314
what did you have?
>>28358314
Yup confirmed one of the "That's not my job" types.
I don't know sometimes I just get a kick out of meeting people during my time. Lot of types, but it's a lot of people so they tend to fall into a few categories pretty often.
>>28358461
I'm not going to apologize for wanting to do the job they paid me a fat bonus and a bunch of training to do.
I wasn't mad at the soldiering stuff because "blah blah you're a soldier first" and whatnot, but I am not a gardener, a cook, a fucking doorman, a painter or a fucking landscaper.
>>28358359
A 35N's job.
>>28358623
>I'm not going to apologize for
I wasn't implying you should high speed.
I'm "That guy" to some people too, just how it goes amigo.
>>28358772
Well you called me "high speed", so you're confirmed for the "faggot" type. Take your stupid Army lingo and shove it up your ass, trackin'? Are we a go at this station?
>>28355852
You forgot the biggest con
>fighting for jews in wars that are only for monetary benefit
>>28358839
No wonder you did a few years of shit you didn't want to do.
s m h
Thank you for your service.
>>28355852
I'm not going to be Isreal's bitch.
>>28356144
>that patch on his arm
Fucking got me
