>start uni this year
>have severe social anxiety and other things
>freak out walking into class every single day
>but keep doing it
>2 weeks ago
>lecturers pull me aside, ask me if I'm ok
>ask me why I'm not participating with the class
>ask me why I'm so anxious
>haven't been able to go in without turning around and running out since then
>literally sitting here crying because I have stuffed up my future again
Go to your doctor anon you need help fast
>start uni this year
>look about 35 at 19
>also look like a skinhead because I'm balding
>I have been called out on the street for this
>had to yell back at them "NAZI PUNKS FUCK OFF" over and over till they fucked off
>people cross the road to avoid me
>no one wants to talk to me
>make no friends
>live in dorms
>only reason I get invited out to town is because I'm basically a walking fuckoff sign
>also realise I'm way too stupid for university and begin failing
>can't drop out because I'm paying way too much and I get none of it back if I drop out halfway through the year so I may as well just live with free catering
>my only comfort is tripping acid and even that just brings me into depressive existential crises
>I've almost killed myself twice so far this year
>the urge to not be grows stronger by the day
>>28346470
anon, I am going through pretty much the same thing, we will get through this soon enough...
>have to go to essay review for class
>teacher literally thinks I am mentally disabled or something
>I always turn in everything in the class late, turned in this essay a week late
>in essay review she basically tells me its shit
>i dont care, i literally have lost all interest in my grade at this point
>after finishing telling me how bad my essay is she asks if I am crying
fuck i was so embarrassed
apparently i always look like I am crying or something
>>28346575
fuck u
>>28346608
Forgot to mention
>I've been to about 3 lectures in the past 3 weeks
I'm going to make it.
I blame my fucking lecturers. I was doing so well and then bam they have to come along and crush me.
They even had the fucking audacity to ask me if there was anything they could do to help. THESE ARE FUCKING PRE MED LECTURERS ASKING SOMEONE WITH ANXIETY HOW THEY CAN HELP. Are you fucking kidding me.
>not taking lithium orotate
>contract law final in 3 hours
>gave up yesterday because its too complex for me
mixed feels
>>28346694
>Doing pre-med
>Wanting to be a doctor
>Has anxiety
You brought this on yourself.
I took my last final today lads. It was calc 1 and I didn't finish it until 10:30 at night. I likely failed, I even used the coin toss and dice-rolling applications on my graphing calculator to randomly pick some of the answers.
>>28346623
>after finishing telling me how bad my essay is she asks if I am crying
Oh my god. I would have raged so hard if someone said that to me. Well not really, i'm too much of a bitch, rather I'd turn red and look like I want to kill her.
>>28346878
How?
I managed to get over my anxiety in other places just by forcing myself to go to them, for example shopping. I never used to be able to enter a mall.
It was meant to work itself out but it hasn't, root cause? Lecturers applying mental health first aid when it isn't required or wanted.
Thermal Physics exam tomorrow lads
I just want to sit around and play Rocket League, why is life getting in the way of things
Actually having some good uni feels for once, mostly because I'm getting out of this university and trying to do something I love next week. Cautiously optimistic feels.
One too many feels...
>straight A student throughout high school, won a bunch of awards, scholarships
>go to university
>just barely pass two classes, a literal 50%.
>gpa is 2.20
>miss most of my classes
The worst part is I have no self awareness. I've been saying I'm "depressed" for about 5 years now, but I honestly don't know. I can't tell if I'm really sick, or just trying to rationalise my own personal flaws. Sometimes I feel I'm working hard, other times I feel guilty for being so lazy.
>have to do job applications for working in a lab
>I have like, a week of lab experience
>most of my "accomplishments" have nothing to fucking do with STEM
>feel like a retard rambling on about the fluffy soft skills I have in my cover letters to scientists who are in the top of their field
I just felt so humiliated and full of self loathing I had to lay down.
>>28346638
>I'm going to have good attendance!
>miss one day because of an honest commuting problem
>"well, I'm already behind, there's no point in going anymore."
>>28348051
Anon holy shit are you me?
>do super well in HS, get full ride to top uni
>do super poorly in uni, get 2.2 gpa
>miss most of my classes
what year are you now? how do we fix this
>>28346470
>tfw I fell for the stem meme
>currently no drive at all to do anything
>have the same work ethic as highschool, maybe even worse
>play vidya ever single day, even MORE then I did in highschool
>really doing everything last minute, skipping shit I don't like
>one class teacher unironically actually calls on me to answer questions
>always stutter, talk really fast and start sweating
>she can audibly and visibly see this, yet continues to do it every lesson
I just wanted to be a neet after highschool
I guess I get to be a neet after uni as I've never had a job or know anyone
>tfw need a 100 on the final to barely get a B because I fucked around the entire semester and only showed up to class once
im getting a C
>>28348228
Going into second year, anon.
Uh....no fucking clue. I think now that I'm taking classes I actually like I do much better. I got 100% on an test for a subject I liked, but then fucked up the final because I was cramming for a shit course I hated.
Basically anon.....bee yerself
>>28348051
>>28348228
>The normie nerds who got straight As in high school are now flunking out of university
Fucking kek lads.
Just because you did well in HS with no effort, doesn't mean you're intelligent. If you're failing that badly at university you are probably not cut out for anything intellectual and should drop out immediately.
>>28348631
Just because you were poor anon and went to a garbage high school where marks were actually spoonfed to you, doesn't mean the rest of the world was.
>>28348631
I read this Harvard study somewhere that people do best in university if they have a study group.
In other words, if you do well in university you are a confirmed normie.
What is /r9k/'s opinion on cheating?
>>28349117
it's ok as long as you don't get caught. in which case fuck you cheater faggot.
>>28349117
You mean using available resources to your advantage? That's what winners do, son.
