Have you ever had a failed suicide attempt?
Greentext you suicide attempts bros
>>28332470
>be 22
>attempt at slicing my wrist veins
>do it wrong
>survive the blood loss
And here I am writing about it
I were stupid desu, life is shit bit death is shittier.
>>28332638
Did you cut horizontally?
>>28332668
Yup, I regret doing it, now everyone i know looks at me like I'm crazy.
>>28332470
Yup twice. Hanging and pills. So uh, yeah.
>>28332470
>be 12
>have cousin over
>show her my knife and tell her I might use it on myself someday
>she tells my parents
>have to go to a shrink
>be 18
>just graduated, go on a trip to California
>have a horrible acid trip
>i will never be a normal person
>i will never be accepted
>i will never be loved
>decide to kill myself
>drive to wal-mart and buy a few boxes of sleeping pills and a gas can
>fill up the gas can on my way out
>drive into a secluded parking garage
>take all of the sleeping pills
>feel myself approaching complete unconsciousness
>douse the interior of the car with gasoline
>sit there with a lighter in my hand, halluncinating violently, waiting for the perfect moment to flick the lighter and incinerate myself
>pass out
>wake up several days later in a hospital bed
>my wristband says "john doe"
>nurse tells me that someone found me passed out on the sidewalk with no identification
>asks me what happened
>tell her i tried to kill myself
>immediately realize my mistake
>ask her if i can put my shoes on
>she agrees and walk away
>tie and tighten my shoes
>watch the nurses, looking for an escape opportunity
>rip my IV out and sprint towards the emergency exit about 10 feet in front of me
>alarm sounds as soon as I open the door
>two beefy orderlies start to pursue me
>i'm very small and pretty fast ~120 lbs around this point in my life, so I'm able to stay ahead of them as we go down the stairwell
>make it through the final door outside
>holy shit i'm gonna make it
>suddenly slip in a puddle and bust my ass
>orderlies waste no time in restraining me
>soon enough i am sedated and strapped to a hospital bed
>wake up soon after in the looney bin
>>28333026
And what happened after that?
Original commento
>>28333180
>spend 6 days in the menta hospital until everyone thinks I'm better
>come back home and slowly try to get myself together mentally before starting college
>start college
>feel somewhat fulfilled, making friends, etc
>drinking absurd amounts of alcohol on a daily/weekly basis
>one day i remember pouring out half a bottle of calypso (fruity drink) and filling the rest with rotgut vodka
>was slurring my words and proclaiming my love for the professor in my 1030 am engineering class
>somehow am not reported for what i assume would be a serious breach of conduct
>obviously not going to finish a stem degree with this kind of lifestyle
>continue anyway
>burn out catastrophically in my third quarter after i start failing classes, a girl accuses me of rape, and my oneitis cuts off contact with me
>family is out of town of vacation
>spend a few days in family home getting wasted and putting my grandfathers .357 magnum in my mouth wishing i had the balls to pull the trigger
>cant pull the trigger just like I couldn't flick the lighter
>decide to abandon college because it's making me suicidal and pursue life on the west coast (because that went so well last time)
>drop out, sell all my shit, and hit the road with $2,000
>>28332470
tried OD'ing on pain meds twice just messed up my heart stomach also od on benadryl felt like I was losing my breathe and was twitching just layed in bed and thought I was actually gonna die
>>28332470
Was there a happening thread on here a few days ago? A friend of mine killed themselves at the weekend, and I have a suspicion they posted on here.
>hang myself over the stairs with cheap belt
>belt immediately snaps
>fall down the stairs
>absolutely fine
mate
>>28333699
Should've bought full grain leather, cheapskate.
>>28332470
Twice.
Tried to od on benzos. Washed it down with alcohol.
Just vomited back up.
Second time I tried to OD on nembtual. O took antiemitics before hand but they were not strong enough despite it being the same fucking ones people take for euthansia. I went into a coma for three days and woke up covered in dried vomit.
Fuck my shit up senpai
>open window
>about to jump
>mom shows up, she's very calm
>"are you trying to kill yourself anon?"
>nothing comes up in my mind, I don't reply
>"then just fucking do it, you little bitch, i want to see you try"
>mom leaves
>I don't jump
I hate her thought. Maybe I didnt kill myself just to make her suffer
>>28332470
I'll know by tomorrow
>>28332703
>now everyone i know looks at me like I'm crazy
lol sounds like fun senpai
My family got over the scar I needed stitched up on my arm about a month after and only really looked at me funny the first time they saw it.
>take six boxes of ibuprofen
>attempt to also slit wrists so I've tried multiple methods at the same time
>wake up the next day. Nothing fucking happened.
I don't know why it didn't do anything. Still have these scars on my wrists.
>>28333026
Is that what they do in Commiefornia?
In Florida they can only restrain you for 72 hours if you're a minor.
>>28333781
If this is real, why does your mother hate you so much? My mother loves my to death eventhough I can be a real asshole. Are you really her child?
>>28333697
Sorry to hear about that senpai; do you have a photograph of them?
>>28333853
I was 18 at the time. Plus I was still john doe at the time
>>28333899
Sounds fucked.
Have you left the state?
>>28333859
Yes
I don't know why she hates me
She has told me to kill myself lots of times, ever since I was 12
Once she picked up a knife a threatened to kill me and then kill herself
I'm sure she was some kind of mental illness, but everytime I tell her to get help she hits me or throws a fit, she's my mom so I can't fight back
>drive to woods
>hike into woods
>take a bunch of sedatives and drink a bottle of whisky
>lay back and wait
>wake up the next morning covered in vomit
>cry all the way home i car
>in moment of clarity realize I beat heroin addiction and I'll beat this
>get my shitty life together
>get college degree, good job
>work out and run
>some days I wish I didn't fail, some days I'm glad I did.
>>28333936
Well the mental illness is obivious. Mothers love their biological child unconditionally, so your mothers wiring is fucked up. You should get her worked up then record evidence of her insanity and get a court order to get her admitted. For her own good.
How about your father?
>>28333586
I'm genuinely interested, what happened when you moved west?
>>28333914
I returned to my home state, which was about 2000 miles away, then moved to the west coast again, then committed a felony and went to jail for 9 months. Then returned again to my home state. My first day back home I got into a drunk-driving accident on a country road, but decided to sleep in my car until someone found me so I wouldn't get a dui. Shattered my ankle, punctured a lung, broke both collarbones. I've mostly recovered. Just trying to stay happy and not lose my fucking mind again
>>28333936
>she's my mom so I can't fight back
If I didn't need my mother for shit I'd have slapped the shit out of her like my father should have when he was with her.
>>28333977
Has a good idea.
>>28333999
What felony did you commit?
Was it the acid that ruined you?
>>28333977
I might do that, thanks anon
My father doesn't really know, he's kind and gentle
After the knife incident my mom told me that if I ever told him about those things he would divorce her and she would kill herself
I don't know what to do about him, he doesn't know this side of her
To him we are a happy family
>>28333999
Okay trips, I tell you know, get your shit together. Get sane, get a wife, some kids and a dog or something. Get positive.
>>28334048
This is obivious emotional blackmail. 9/10 the i am going to kill myself is a bs oneliner. Don't know with your mom though. This should become an Oceans Eleven plan, in which you get all the dominos to fall at the right time, limiting damage. Damn, I would like to help you, but I just can't. Got my own problems to deal with. Call me 2chainz.
>wake up on 1st of february 2011
>realise this is an entir year of miserable bullshit that will end until I die or until i end myself
>eat 50 tablets of prozac
>go to college anyway, I don't really know why I guess i had nowhere else to go and didn't want people to worry if they got a call saying I was just absent
>throw up a couple of hours after
>start feeling shakey, get a drink of water during breaktime
>wake up propped up in the breakroom to a paramedic
I spent a day in hospital, felt sore as fuck for 2 weeks (seizing is a good workout)
I've never tried it again but losing conciousness like that was much nicer than the everyday suffering we experience, if I had a gun I'd have shot myself by now.
>>28333995
I suppose I will just greentext as much as I can since I'm bored at work
>i dropped out and essentially disappeared from my home town
>no one except for my closest friend knew what my intentions were, and he kept his trust and never told anyone until it was time
>my family is still out of town, he helped me pack up my essentials, a burner phone, my laptop, clothes, etc.
>leave at roughly midnight
>after a few hours of driving park just off of a rural highway and sleep on the road
>essentially repeat this several times over, with little variation, except for a stopover in colorado and almost getting trapped in the snowy mountains I had no idea how to navigate
>finally reach portland, or
>for some reason this city was sacred in my mind
>finally i would achieve fulfillment
>finally i would be happy
>at this point i have about $800 remaining
>manage to fenagle my way into a house with a couple of dudes as roommates for $600
>soon after get a job as a canvasser
>basically doing door to door "Hi, how likely are you to vote for Mike Chucklefuck in the upcoming democratic primary?"
>I'm naturally charismatic so it makes a pretty good fit
>make a few friends
>still suffering but my roommate has very cheap weed
>spend a lot of time reading, writing raving nonsensical poems and stories, and smoking weed in various parks
>mt tabor park especially sticks out in my mind
>however, eventually i lose my job for reasons that aren't worth going into
>basically i wasn't getting enough people to sign my petition and quit before they could fire me
>struggle frantically for 2 weeks to find employment
>not willing to do something gay like dishwashing because i'm a spoiled brat
>plus in portland you need 3 years of dishwashing experience plus a 2 year dishwashing degree
>the market it flooded with young unskilled vagrants like myself
>eventually i realize i'm not going to make enough money to pay rent the next month
>herewegoagain.jpg
>>28332470
>be me during massive depression
>chemically imbalanced
>can't find joy in life no matter what
>study chemistry so I could get my hands cyanide
>be afraid of people finding out about my suicidal tendencies and turning me in, though
>think of other methods
>remember that one time in life I almost froze to death
>it was like falling asleep
>live on 11th floor in single apartment
>open the windows during the winter
>take off all my clothes
>start freezing slowly
>body shaking like crazy
>suddenly realize I could wake up being a vegetable after damaging my brain severely through the cold
>ended up just being sick afterwards
>kept on researching other methods
>tried injecting air into my veins
>didnt work out really, hurt like hell
>cut my veins as a last resort
>manage only one really deep horizontal cut
>start bleeding like a pig
>incredible burning pain
>realize how low I have fallen
>fall asleep
>wake up severely weakened but alive
>realize I won't be able to kill myself but have to start getting my shit together
>got away having an ugly scar on my wrist
Today I'm a fairly happy person. I get melancholical at best. My life is far from perfect, but I improved myself vastly. Oddly enough - most suicidal notions come from despising yourself.
>>28333936
thats fucking terrible mate. Nobody should grow up with a parent like that
I ate 4 times the lethal dose of sertraline, 8.6 grams or 86 pills. Passed out on the beach and woke up in the ER. Managed to not get institutionalised because I told them I would go to a hotel instead of home. Had a heart rate of about 130 for a week along with nonstop tremors that stopped me from sleeping, writing, playing games. I fucking hate my body for being so resilient.
>>28332470
Hanging. But the fucking cable snapped and i woke up with a headache. Now i have some stuttering and slurred speech plus plus burred vision sometimes, 10% of my brain probably died.
>>28334035
I don't think the acid ruined me. I think I was just born broken. However, if any of my drug use ruined me, it was probably smoking weed every single day between the ages of 15 and 18.
>>28334083
I'm either going to conquer this world or completely destroy it. Mediocrity is not something I can accept
>>28334168
>both of my roommates are out of town
>steal one roommates netbook and another's hash oil because I'm a piece of shit
>at least I have some smoke for the road
>have no idea where I'm going, just know that I'm headed towards "the coast"
>begin driving vaguely west
>my money was already critically low so i decided that robbing a 24 hour store was going to solve all of my problems
>(side note, i stole grandpas .357 that I mentioned in an earlier post)
>perform the most awkward, retarded robbery ever
>make $80 from it
>buy some food and cigarettes
>spend the next few days going from supermarket to supermarket, bumming wifi and stealing wine and those rotissere chickens and eating them in my truck
>good times, but I'm running out of cash
>end up in this bumfuck rural town in oregon
>try another robbery
>the victim is not taking any shit though, and easily overpowers me
>restrains me while his father, an old man, calls the police
>old man says "i could shoot you with your own gun, how would you like that?"
>i said "shoot me! fucking SHOOT ME!" because i have really just lost it completely
>he discharges the firearm, not at me, in a different direction. not really sure why he did that
>cops arrive and arrest me
>tell them i'm saving my story for my lawyer
will continue with jail + the aftermath if anyone cares
>spend every day for four months with practice gf
>drunk mostly
>she dumps me because I'm no fun
>Have very tall windows with venetian blinds
>pull cord super tight
>Step up nice and high on frame
>make loop out of cord
>have had about 50 beers in 48 hours
>too drunk to tie knot
>tooinfinityandbeyond.exe
>slowly descend to floor and land both feet because no knot but tension in cord
>decide to cry myself to sleep
Wish you guys all the best. I don't think I will try again until Halloween. Seems like a good day for it.
>>28334346
I'm eading
I like the idea of a robot robbing a gas station, did you at least say 'you too' after they handed you some cash?
Heroin overdose. It is easily the best way to die, if you die that is. You just push the plunger and you pass out without even noticing anything if you do enough. But make sure to not pass out on any limbs, also the lack of oxygen can fuck your brain up if you don't die
>>28333697
Any chance it was this Anon?
http://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28221029/
>>28334346
>will continue with jail + the aftermath if anyone cares
i care
>>28334346
>I think I was just born broken.
Who pushed you into college?
>>28332470
>be 15
>regularly get psychosis and talk to a voice
>it speaks through me and wants me to kill myself
>sometimes it gets close to making me do something but i always overpower it
>can't sleep anymore because it never goes away
>stay awake for 6 days straight
>doing inhalants and taking pills the whole time
>try nutmeg to see if it will get me high
>while i'm waiting to see what happens i pass out
>wake up 3 days later in the hospital
>my arms are bloody with cuts all over that i don't remember making
>remember standing up and trying to leave the hospital, it felt like i was underwater and i passed out again
>wake up in psych ward
>completely blank slate, derealized, depersonalized, don't have any awareness, 2 weeks pass in this state, people say i tried to kill myself but i didn't even acknowledge it
>once i get out and go home my family is walking on egg shells around me
>find a bunch of posts on a forum i visit that i don't remember making that sound exactly like the voice that speaks to me during psychosis, the posts are all about suicide and are poorly written and sound like a suicide note
>start getting flashes of memory back but none of it makes sense
>finally ask my parents what they know about what happened
>they say i took all of the pills in the cabinet (enough to kill me) and locked them out while i destroyed my room and stabbed myself with a piece of glass while screaming like i was possessed so they called the cops
>i came out and sat on the couch afterwards staring at a dollar bill while rocking my body until i passed out and then they called an ambulance
i sleep like a good boy now
>>28333790
I hope you wait a week for deciding what you wanna do. Afterall, this decision is probably the biggest decision in your life.
>>28332470
>popped in headphones
>started drinking and collecting my things
>wiped computer, burned sketchbooks, letters etc
>put will and important papers under pillow
>gathered whiskey, percocet, Vicodin, belt, razor blade, small bed pan
>drove to secluded old house we used to live at and parked in the drive way
>blasted music on car stereo
>started slamming the whiskey hard and popping pills
>opened the sunroof and tossed one end of the belt thru, the other part looped around my neck
>rested my arm in the bed pan basin and started trying to cut my veins
>long story short I woke up hours later by my brother tearing into the car to get me and my mom crying like crazy
>>28334346
good shit robofriend
when are you going to become the next Great American Writer(TM) (I'm just assuming your prose isn't shit)
>>28334561
>the biggest decision in your life.
No. It is just the last one. The easiest one. For some of us.
You all matter to me. You all have an impact on my life. I need you all. But you will never feel it. You probably cannot feel it.
>>28334558
>a forum i visit
4degreez?
>>28334407
I really can't say too much about it, because i technically got away with it. But it wsan't a gas station..it was a certain establishment associated with sandwich artists. i got $80 and a sandwich
>>28334510
I got a full ride at the local state college with a quarterly stipend of ~$2000. it seemed like a retarded offer to turn down. Plus, i had grown up believing that the fact that i was intelligent was the only worthwhile thing about me
>police escort me to jail
>make sure i dont have aids, take my fingerprints, etc
>ask me where i live
>i say 'i don't know'
>they list me as a "transient"
>i'm an upper middle class white boi
>now i'm also a "transient" violent criminal
>all of the guards just seem kind of bewildered at what i've done
>i look like a twink and have long hair
>change into my jail jumpsuit
>go to sleep in the holding cell
>the next day my finger is swollen
>turns out the Big Guy that foiled my robbery broke a little bone in my hand.
>get a cast and everything put on it
>they put me in a medical lockdown cell within one of the "dorms"
>terrified of getting labeled as a pretty boy and getting my ass raped (remember, upper middle class, totally out of my element) I shave my head that night
>spend my days in solitary confinement, reading and writing, fapping constantly
>actually not that bad
>food is decent
>some of the inmates like to come up to my door and talk to me
>they're all pretty nice and empathetic, even though many of them are convicted killers
>i tell one of them that i write poetry and he asks me to write one for his girlfriend
>i do, he really likes it
>write poems for some of the other inmates
>after my 6 weeks of solitary i have finally reached a point where i am not totally terrified of the day that i will be among the other inmates
>the day finally comes
>i'm among the inmates that i've come to know, more or less, over the past couple months
>same day, the intercom buzzes
>ANON! ROLL UP!
cont (too long)
>>28332470
>bought some fentanyl from the darkweb
>tested it
>shitposted for a week while I was mulling over the decision
>got really drunk and took it
>died
y'all niggas need to Find the Lord
also use less pussy methods. if you're gonna kill yoself KYS
>>28334640
making my night robocop
>>28334401
Too cliche, try christmas instead or easter idk
>>28334640
Please finish whole story, i wanna read this.
>>28334640
Please keep going, I am utterly fascinated by your story.
>>28334640
>i had grown up believing that the fact that i was intelligent was the only worthwhile thing about me
So what else did you find?
>>28334614
I'd love to be a writer but I suck at living. apparently this degenerate website inspires me, though
>>28334640
>"roll up" means to pack up your belongings and prepare for a relocation
>they're about to move me to a completely unfamiliar dorm with 20+ complete strangers
>criminal strangers, at that
>begin sweating profusely
>want to cry but afraid to show weakness
>the guard comes to transport me
>i walk into the dorm, it's well into the evening, after dinner, everyone is chatting and eating comissary
>I walk up to my bunk and begin setting up my belongings
>the people around me begin asking about why i'm there
>i tell them Robbery I (Armed Robbery, the most severe robbery statute in oregon, obv)
>one of them looks up and says "Finally! A proper criminal!"
>I laugh, perhaps this will be survivable after all
>over the following few months I start to befriend the inmates, really liking a few of them. we shoot the shit, play cards, a few of them even got me to start working out
>you would think this was going to be the worst time in my life, but i'm barely suicidal and reading a shit load
>a couple friends from back home write me as well
>(I will take this part to mention that my jail experience is not typical. this is a part of oregon that is literally 99% white. no gang shit or nignogs, mostly just tweakers)
>the months pass, I fall into a routine that kills time pretty well
>suddenly that damn buzzer comes again
>anon ROLL UP
>why must these sadistic officers torture me
>move into an even bigger dorm, scared out my mind again
>BUT it turns out that "Finally, a proper criminal guy" is my bunk mate. (he had been released and re-arrested since i'd first met him)
>so there is a starting point for me to create a social circle
>more of the same shit, except a different cast of characters
>this poor degenerate dude named lil chris who just cannot stop selling meth.
>some other folks, one who stabbed a guy, a meth cook, lots of probation violators
cont too long
>>28334762
I got a girl pregnant when I was 21. She had the abortion on Halloween. I asked her to get an abortion. I'm going to join my child.
Okay guys, I've been dying to tell this story to someone
>be me
>lvl 16
>last day of school, going to highschool after the summerbreak
>there was this one slut
>long story short, I got attached and she dumped me
>maybe she was actually interested
>maybe she was playing pretend all the time
>I'll never find out
>anyway, it's the last day of school
>it's a shitty school full of poor ukrainian dudes
>we decide to go drinking
>fucking heavy drinking for a sixteen year olds
>that's my opportunity
>I decide to get drunk to death
>we've got shitloads of alcohol, approximately two bottles for a person
>we start drinking
>blackout
>wake up in hospital several hours later
>mom sits next to me and tells my I'm a fucking disappointment
>tells me that one dumb slut called an ambulance
>don't remember anything
>heard stories I masturbated in front of everyone
>okay, that I find pretty cool
>lost my phone, all money in my wallet and my headphones
You know what's the best part? Noone knows I tried to kill myself, therefore they didn't lock me in the room or anything. My parents just thought I got crazy drunk.
And if I succeeded, noone would know it was a suicide. Noone would blame themselves.
>>28334874
a halloween abortion? should have called it an abooooortion
>>28333798
>>28332703
do the scars ever fade?
>>28334904
Just by the way, I'm nineteen now and don't regret it. I fucked up my first year in highschool, moved to another school that I hate, and I'm dropping it this summer. Still no gf, and I'm going to spend rest of my life as a fast food shift manager.
The only thing keeping me alive is my shitty pop punk band
>>28334874
>implying lil nigga wants you there
>>28334873
plz tell me ur still here, I need to know the end of this story!!!!
>>28334873
i want to be a director just to turn this into a movie. godspeed anon.
>>28334990
I-I guess I can live an immortality of misery in order to spare him.
>>28334953
no, and the older you get the less scars will heal, so doing it later in life is more permanent.
>>28334971
Do you have any music? What's your influences anon?
I wanted to go out and hand myself in this tree in the woods behind my house.
>find a rope
>find a ladder
>plan to tie the noose around this high branch above this lower branch I used to always climb and sit on while I was little
>tie the noose up and start to feel scared
>decide I want to be sedated to feel no pain
>find what's left of a bottle of vicodin from my dads surgery
>chew a few of the pills and swallow the rest
>start walking to the tree
>pass out before I make it there
>wake up a day later in a hospital bed
Apparently my dad came home from work and found me lying on the lawn, quickly assessed the situation, and drove me to the hospital. Ended up saving me and I had to spend a week in the looney bin. Really embarrassing, honestly, but my dad has been a lot nicer to me now.
>>28334848
if i've found anything, it's that even being intelligent is not necessarily a worthwhile thing
>for some reason people seem to like me in this place
>despite my physical weakness, there were several people who would intervene when someone tried to start shit
>no one tried to fugg me
>stopped working out
>starting to gain weight from constant hot cheeto intake
>another popular jail snack: cream cheese and cheese-its wrapped in a tortilla
>my health is declining but my sentencing date is approaching and I'm stressed beyond belief
>oregon's mandatory minimum for Robbery I is sometihng like 90 months
>i spend hours every day walking in circles around the dorm
>i become known as the circles guy
>eventually my sentencing date arrives
>plead down to Robbery III and Unlawful use of a weapon.
>sentenced to 1 year jail and 3 years probation
>whiteprivilege.jpg
>with time served and "good time" my release date for this violent crime is a mere 10 months after the date i committed the crime
>since i've been sentenced, i'm eligible for a trustee position, where i can perform some kind of menial labor and get even more time off of my sentence
>this results in a move to the trustee unit
>another mostly new crowd, but i'm used to it by now
>plus, there are a lot of familiar faces among the 12 trustees, after all, i've been here for a while
>start working as the "floor guy"
>it's the most robot job ever
>everyone else has to go to work first thing after breakfast and slave away in the kitchen or laundry area
>i get to sleep in, then after lunch head to the floor closet to fill up mop buckets and stock cleaning carts, then i distribute them to the different dorms
>sometimes see titties when i bring the girls carts over
>after that i just sit and read or write poems in the floor closet
>every other night at 1am i have to clean the jail. sweep, mop, and buff
>it's pretty comfy the whole place is silent as I sweep and i can just think and generally be strange
cont too long
flipped and crashed my car into a tree drunk with no seat belt: hit the roof neck pain no injury
'fell' off a 5th floor roof drunk and hit some stuff on the way down: broken arm and cracked ribs
my family started wondering if i was really just a clumsy drunk after that and i was more discrete
ate all the pills and like 1.5 liter of liquor then passed out on the floor: woke up in puke puddle
tried an exit bag but i was drunk and the seal failed and i woke up with a killer headache
i'm sorried about brain damage if i try again
>>28334953
The ones that don't get stitched up do.
Mine have turned back to, or close to, my skin colour, even the burn marks.
I was smart enough to do it on my leg except for one, plus I'm naturally hairy.
The shapes are still pretty distinguishable, though.
This is after ~4 years in case you're wondering.
Most people will probably notice fairly quickly if they're on your arms if you hang around for more than a minute.
>>28335169
We have one demo, here it is, I play bass in that. Dunno about influences, I just enjoy playing an instrument, so I go with whatever the guys write me.
Fun fact: the only time I had sex and wanted it was because I gave one girl a badge
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHPdvkGb-m0
>>28335277
the singer sounds like hes trying too hard to sound like serj tankian, other than that. pretty good anon.
>>28335221
man, i hope mine do
i was drunk one night and put a bunch of matches out on my forearms.
was thinking of getting them tattooed over. i don't even care what people think of tattoos, i'm not even a huge fan but i'd rather that than having to look at these scars.
>>28335277
This is not bad and nice dubs bro.
Good luck with your band.
>>28332959
how do you fail hangingweight?
>>28335169
>>28335166
thank you for the interest. i will keep going. it's just not pre-typed
>myself and a few of my inmate friends have a tradition of making "spreads" every night
>a spread is a special type of homecooked jail meal, essentially a mixture of different foods to create a kind of paste to be used as a burito filling or eaten by itself
>a popular spread base was ramen noodles, crushed flamin' hot cheetos, dehydrated refried beans, and some leftover meat from lunch or dinner
>this mixture would be set in a plastic torilla bag and mixed with hot water until the desired paste consistency was acheived
>well, my one day my friends that work in the kitchen swiped some garlic powder and some other spice
>it made a superior quality spread
>they keep it under their bed
>i encourage them to go a step further and steal some of the bacon that the cops eat for breakfast
>they agree
>the next day walking down the hallway a kitchen friend slips me a glove full of bacon
>success
>when i get back to my bunk i stash it and get back to work
>COINCIDENTALLY that night we get "tossed" which means the entire dorm is turned upside down and searched for contraband
>immediately I know I'm fucked. I don't even fight it, in addition to the bacon I have a contraband pen that I stole from the garbage during my night rounds
>lose trustee status
>back to the normal dorm
>after several weeks gain trustee status back
>released after 9 total months in jail
i will continue if there is interest. but i need to get some work done
>>28335389
pls continue if not too much trouble mang
>>28335310
Serj is probably the last name I would use to describe him. He is heavily obsessed with Green Day so I guess that's what he tries to do.
It sucks lyrically, it's nothing special musically, but I enjoy it and it seems around 50 people in my hometown do so
>>28335389
please try to continue anon, your story is beautiful
>>28335389
Yes, please continue the story. I'm really enjoying your writing.
>>28335389
this story is amazing, i'm capping it as i go if you dont mind
>>28335311
Welp, only one thing left to do, Anon.
Cover those burn scars with bigger ones.
Better heat up that waffle iron.jk sounds like shitty way self harm
At least you weren't "dumb" enough to take a blade to your arms.
Match burns don't sound all that bad, actually.
Most people wouldn't guess you did it on purpose and you can deny it if you come up with an excuse.
>>28335200
>it's that even being intelligent is not necessarily a worthwhile thing
So have you found meaning, then?
>>28335464
You guys are so young. I wish I could go back to those days.
>>28335449
>>28335480
>>28335483
>>28335509
thank you, cap away
>>28335587
fuck no
>the day has come, my fellow inmates wish me well and I "roll up" for the final time
>sneak a few books by JD Salinger in my pack because I am a complete moron who will literally jeopardize my nascent freedom before it has even begun by stealing some $2 books
>check out, sarge doesn't find my books
>change into my skinny jeans and overtight t shirt that i was wearing the night of the robbery
>take a deep breath and step outside
>it's an absolutely gorgeous day. i think that oregon is one of the most beautiful places on earth
>it's april, almost a year since my failed robbery. the sun looks the same, the grass looks the same
>it's like i've been locked in a time capsule
>truthfully, i don't feel very different that I did a year ago. but i'm not going to commit any more robberies because I don't want to go to prison
>I walk around to meet my grandmother
>she's so happy to see me, hugs me
>"oh honey", she says
>my poor grandmother, my poor mother
>what is wrong with me
>she has a hot cup of real coffee waiting for me (I love coffee and only decaf was available in jail)
>ask her for a cigarette as well and she obliges
>i am exhilarated and terrified by my newfound freedom. how the hell am i supposed to bounce back from this? what am I supposed to become? i have all the obstacles of before plus a felony on my record
>lets not worry about that yet, I think, and just enjoy this wonderful place.
>stay for about two weeks near the jail while my probation transfer goes through
>hang out on the beach every day
>hook up with some fat girl on MeetMe for my first fuck in 9 months
>my mother flies out to see me
>i'm sorry mom
>this situation is so absurd, i don't even know how to apologize for what i've done.
>they forgive me anyway and we have a good time
>eventually it's time to go back home
cont too long
>>28335802
>fuck no
So what are you doing now?
>>28335566
not bad, but still noticable as fuck, though
i feel like people would assume they were requiem of a dream style infected track mark scars, which is more embarrassing to me than self harm.
i have considered making bigger scars over them to have a better excuse, but i think a tattoo to hide them would be better.
>>28335903
If it really bothers you that much.
Can you post a picture?
>>28335903
There are cosmetic surgery options. Couple hundred bucks and the scars could be fixed.
I gotta go to sleep. someone finish capping this for me
>>28335802
>18
>play lacrosse in hopes of getting in shape
>play vidya and shitpost as hard as I can to block out the suicidal thoughts
>have been depressed since the sixth grade
>only reason I haven't killed myself is because my parents don't own a gun
>Father is a cold man, can't explain my depression because he'll call me a wimp or call me an attention seeker
Life is Good.
>>28335802
I have to go to sleep now, but I really liked your story, anon. Thanks for sharing. Hope you're doing well now.
>Be 20
>None stop voices telling me to self harm and kill myself
>They're pretty convincing, agree.
>Take six months worth of benzos
>Tank half a bottle of vodka
>Jump off a local 40m cliff
Woke up a week later in hospital, in agony. Ended up with four broken ribs on my left side, fractured both my upper and lower arm, and broke my pelvis and left thigh.
I was hospitalised for 7 months, and had physiotherapy for just over a year. After telling the doctors the reasons behind the attempt, they said it would have been grounds for institutionalizing me, had I not already been bedbound in the ward.
During hospital, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Now here I am, at 26, been on anti-psychotics and anti-depressants that make me feel so tired and demotivated.
My only advice to people who want to kill themselves. Make sure you do it right first time, or you may just end up worse off than you were.
>>28335608
To be honest, the thing I am most afraid of in the future is that after I drop school and start working I won't have enough time and money to continue doing this
My suicide attempt was fairly recent
>approximately 3 weeks ago
>be me, faggy 18 year old girly boy
>been constantly depressed my whole life because I've hated my body, before I even knew what "dysphoria" or "gender dysphoria" was
>the depression finally reached a point where I couldn't think straight anymore
>I managed to get hold of a pistol eventually
>I put the barrel in my mouth and pulled the trigger
>*click*
>the bullet fucking jammed
>I just sat in stunned silence
>got too scared to attempt it a second time
Now I'm just miserable 24/7.
>>28336137
Round 2 when? What method?
>>28336236
>not Tap, Rack, and Banging
>>28336239
Round 2 for me would be going on 'holiday' to America. Trying out one of those tourist shooting ranges, and popping my skull open.
If only we had guns over here in the UK.
>>28336137
If I were you I'd eat deveined maeng da kratom so as not to want to kill myself
Yeah the voices are gone but the triad of shit anti psychotic symptoms are fucking hell
Don't try to kill yourself it's not worth it
So contextually, my dad's dad and brother killed themselves, I wanted it to look like an accident so he wouldn't become more mentally broken then he already is.
>get really drunk during blizzard
>decide to use opportunity to kill self
>wander into storm
>lie down in snow bank
>wait for death
>bums kick me awake and start yelling at me
>bastards chase me back home
>decide to throw self in front of car
>choose nice busy road with 50 mph speed limit
>don't want to hurt anybody too bad so waiting for right vehicle
>armored car with bullet proof and fat piece of shit jumper proof window comes along
>jump
>filthy fucking bum grabs me by back of skull and we both land in gutter, armored ca missing us by inches
>he yells at me for getting high in public
>grumble, hand him a fistful of cash and leave
>decide concussion and untreated brain hemorrhage is the way to go
>throw self down stair a few times
>bash brains against wall
>go temporarily blind
>decide that's good enough and I'll wake up dead
>go to sleep
>wake up in shit, piss, vomit, blood with splitting headache
>think I might have brain damage now
I'm not really as hot on the suicide idea as I used to be, even though my life has gotten objectively worse.
>>28332470
>be in college 300 miles away from home
>be drug addict
>come into a source of steady LSD
>take it daily
>lose grip on reality (think Jonah hill in moneyball was looking at me through the screen, that I invented a device that projects sound to the universe that I buried in order for it not to bother people, shooting color out of my fingertips)
>think everyone can read my mind
>decide to killself walking to downtown
>smile, turn around waving to people thinking "these people don't even know Ill be dead soon lmao"
>grabs kitchen knife and start walking to my room
>housemate asks me what I'm doing
>"im going to kill my self!" Too insane to lie
>her Chad friend grabs knife out of my hand
>cops come AND FUCKING ARREST ME FOR TRYIN TO KILL MYSELF
>get sent to psych ward for 45 days
>pump me full of haldol that gives me Parkinson's symptoms
>get sent to rehab
Party
>>28336296
I enjoy your story friendo
>>28336236
is this legit? ijawj
>>28336295
cant believe this is original
>>28336550
Killing yourself is wrong.
>>28336137
Holy fuck, how do you survive a 40m jump anyway?
>>28336608
You never hear the stories of Doritos saving lives.
>>28336523
Yes. You can laugh at me tho. I know it must sound really stupid but it's true.
>>28336391
Forcing anyone to take haldol is extremely fucked up. "Haloperidol may result in a movement disorder known as tardive dyskinesia which may be permanent. Neuroleptic malignant syndrome and QT interval prolongation may occur. "
Also, leave it to Chad to call the feds on you, god damn.
>>28336236
>miserable 24/7
could've been pic related 24/7
>>28336236
>I put the barrel in my mouth and pulled the trigger
>*click*
>the bullet fucking jammed
God damn, I've heard that story a few times now. You fucks need to stop buying shitty jamtastic hi-point pistols. At least splurge a little.
>>28336598
The first and last time that sentence was ever written here. Goodjob faggot.
>>28336598
Killing yourself is right.
>>28336598
>>28337033
To me, I think the funniest thing is the level of hypocrisy among normies. They have no problem taking their pets to the vet to be put to sleep to end their suffering, yet the thought of a human doing the same thing is unimaginable to them.
>>28333697
Was it Hector Lopez?
I never had the balls to attempt suicide, but I remember the first time I talked to about it.
I talked about it with my little sister (a cousin, I'm a single child) and I'm thinking whether that affected her.
I don't want her to be a fucked up person because of me.
Four times. Last time was two weeks ago
not suicide
>almost three years ago mother's day
>friday before mother's day a girl and i go to a jerwrery store to buy my friend's mother a alex and onnie bracelet
>friend invites me over yeah ok
>drive over give her the bracelet
>she was pissed off that i got her that
>back story is i would go there just about every weekend play video games with friend
>she is mad i would drive up the electric bill up
>i think i was playing god of war hd
>drive home have a seizure driving home
>crash into a tree
>ended up going to yale and two recovery places
>friends move away no friend
>go to gym, rehab two times a week and mostly post here
>in a wheelchair
>>28335802
pls continue anon
>>28334624
Love you anon
Hope you will get well
>>28336272
I wish that everyday for France
>be 15
>get mad because mommy didn't want to buy me something
>take 60 blood pressure pills
>start shaking, heart pounding, things are falling out of my hands, vision getting blurry
>left leg starts hurting really bad
>senpai takes me to the ER
>don't tell nothing about the pills
>get sent back home 3 hours later
5 years later and my liver is fucked.
>Jump off a bridge onto a highway
>Break legs
>Survive getting hit by a car
>Nobody even talks to me anymore
:/
>be me
>absolute pants on head moron
>crippling fear of illness and disease
>last year
>wake up on morning with excruciating pain on right side of my body
>clearly muscle pain
>it heals over a couple of days, except lung area
>breathing/ coughing is ridiculously painful
>all of a sudden I need to cough/ clear my throat constantly
>basically in constant pain just from breathing
>arrange appointment with doctor for following morning but have to make it through the night
>start googling my symptoms
>everything clearly points towards oesophageal cancer
>panic attack.jpg
>100% convinced I'm gonna die in the next 2 - 3 years
>decide there is no way I can brave through it, Im too much of a pussy
>decide to take several packets of painkillers and just kill myself right now
>take about 18 in the space of half an hour
>rushed to hospital
>wake up the next morning and explain that I was just in severe pain, doctor confirms I had called about this
>I get out and consult doctor
>it's just muscle pains
>it went away in like 3 more days
>6th grade
>I'm fucking done with life lol
>take brothers sleeping pills
>fell asleep in class
>go home and watch cartoons
>10th grade
>lol maybe I didn't take enough
>take around 30-40 small pills
>pass out in class
>go to hospital and they make me drink charcoal
>sleep for days at the ward
>become even more alienated from family
>4 yrs later still want to kill myself
>waiting till mom leaves
>18 emo faggot
>don't know what to do in life
>catatonic depression
>fight with parents triggers
>laststraw
>take all my depression meds (read that the amount I had would kill me)
>planned on taking it with alcohol but didn't manage to swipe any
>pills literally feel like they did nothing but later I found out they were slow release making it impossible to OD on
>I hadn't expected my psych to take such measures
>last ditch attempt to slice open my wrists with a razor
>fail miserably
Long story short my parents freaked, I couldn't walk right the whole day because of vertigo and extreme fatigue from the pills and I've never gone back to that stage in my life.
>get the shit beaten out of me at party by Chad
>get drunk and pass out
>wake up and see oneitis fucking Chad
>"I feel so naughty, he has a massive crush on me"
>pretend to be asleep till they're done
>see a pack of pills on the floor
>"how could you fuck HIM"
>take pills
>"anon... Those are my morning after pills"
And that's the day i ceased all human contact
>>28336296
You should have tried something simpler and more full proof, like hanging yourself.
>>28338016
Oh shit. I needed that. Thanks anon.
Try to drink lavandina i was about 13... So stupid. and I use a knife too, doesnt work. I dont want to talk about it, please dont even reply me.
>>28334010
Rape her, that will teach her
>>28332470
>19
>alcoholic
>out of state, all alone
>time to make my escape
>slit wrists
>pass out
>wake up in hospital 2 days later
i guess me neighbor who just so happened to be walking by at 4am saw me and was luckily enough an EMT
then:
>mandatory psych ward
>forced to drop out
>transfer me back to my home state
>go to outpatient
>meet other crazy girl
>start dating
>terrible
>remember i dont fucking like anything
>clear out her senpaitachi medicine stash (they were poshy people that had a pfizer safehouse of pills
>walk to bridge
>get hit by car apparently
>wake up in psych ward again
>>28334168
>plus in portland you need 3 years of dishwashing experience plus a 2 year dishwashing degree
>the market it flooded with young unskilled vagrants like myself
yeah no shit you little faggot, see:
>finally reach portland, or
>for some reason this city was sacred in my mind
go zoobomb tabor straight into the reservoir you piece of shit.
>>28338086
well, that doesn't look like an accident, does it?
>>28335843
the thought of killing myself has stopped appealing to me since my release. i'm just going to accept whatever pleasure and pain i can experience in this life and make the best of it
>>28337514
just for you, anon
>back on the 2000 mile journey back home
>feel like i've done this a million times already
>pretty uneventful save for the beautiful scenery
>another meetme hookup with an even fatter, nastier woman. my standards are nonexistent
>as we get closer to home the scenery gets more and more familar
>it's finally over
>it's finally over
>it's been well over a year since i dropped out of college and decided to move to the west coast
>now, after all that has happened, i'm coming back
>arrive at my family home
>warm welcome from my family
>that same night my best friend at the time (the one who helped me get packed and ready when i decided to drop out and head to the west coast) wants me to come to his house and get drunk
>show up, there's a few of my other friends there as well
>everyone gets fucked up but leaves throughout the night
>by the end it's just me, my friend P, and his gf
>i tell them goodnight and head over to my car
>i remember walking towards my car thinking "i don't feel that drunk"
>i remember "riders on the storm" playing off of my doors CD as loudly as i could manage
>i woke up extremely disoriented, about a quarter of a mile from my grandmother's house
>the area is very sparsely inhabited, very rural
>i look around and notice that i've apparently pulled my car into the woods for whatever reason
>i try to start the car to no avail
>i start to look around and realize that something is very wrong, there is a lot of broken glass, some inflated pillow-looking things (took me a minute to realize they were airbags)
>suddenly the reality hits me
>i was in an accident
>a drunk driving accident
>i have no even been out of jail for 2 weeks
>i have,a suspended sentence of 3-5 years
>so if i fuck up, i'm going to big boy prison
too long cont
>>28338650
fake autoerotic asphyxiation gone wrong
>>28338687
truth be told, first green story in years thats captured me
>About 3 years ago
>Take a load of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills
>All that happened was that I was a lot quieter and it turned my shit to liquid for a few hours.
>>28338174
What happened lil ba?
>>28338687
Holy shit, don't leave us hanging here Anon
>>28338687
Lurking for this.
If you have any friends/family don't kill yourself. Both my parents committed suicide and it's the reason I'm here right now
>>28338687
oh man I can't go to sleep now, waiting for your next chapter
>>28338016
Haha my fucking sides you guys are pathetic
>>28338465
well, i'm gone now so nothing to worry about on your end. good to see some of that good old pdx pretension again, though
>>28338687
>i'd really rather not go to big boy prison
>i can't get out of the car. the door won't open. i hurt all over. my breathing is impaired
>lay my head down on the center console and go to sleep
>i figured that by the time someone found the vehicle i would be sober enough to avoid a dui
>hours later wake up to a police looking through the window
>say "hey!"
>he jumps, visibly shocked that i'm actually alive
>after the accident, i would look at pictures of the car, and understand why he had that reaction
>he calls for an ambulance
>door wont open, they have to use the jaws to pry it open
>they lift me up and i cry out in pain
>i hurt all over, but my foot is especially agonizing
>they may have drugged me, memory is fuzzy for a while
>they bring me to the nearest hospital, but they don't have a high enough grade trauma unit to handle me as i was
>airlift me to a hospital with the appropriate facilities
>slowly come back to reality over the next few days
>family and friends coming to visit me
>"i uh...i swerved to miss a deer" was my go-to story
>my friends knew 100% what happened, my family probably did too. i've always been a drunk. but no one challenged me
>total damage: shattered ankle, two broken collarbones, one punctured lung, 5 fractured ribs
>but I'm alive!
>they have me recovering in the hospital for a few days
>once my lung is healed up they're going to put a series of "stabilizing rods" in my ankle until the swelling goes down enough for them to perform surgery.
>i undergo the procedure
>literally have 10" rods sticking out of my ankle in every direction
>i'm allowed to go home until the surgery in 2-3 weeks
>they left my collarbones alone and just told me not to move my arms beyond a certain range
>stick your arms directly in front of you, like an air traffic controller
too long cont
>>28339001
keep up the good work, karma coming your way
tried good old short suspension, but just as I was about to let go, my cat came in and looked at me and I was like "oh right gotta feed you". So I fed the cat and afterwards my motivation was gone. It's been 4 years since then, and I wish my cat wouldn't have been there.
>>28339166
is cat still alive
dedicate your life to fulfilling your cats needs and help him out, if you love animals, work with animals.
>>28339001
3 A.M need to go to sleep
Can someone screen cap the rest of the story and pst it tomorrow pls
Good hanging anons
>>28339001
>i cannot move my arms any higher or wider than that without excruciating pain
>also, my ribs are fractured, so a small amount of torso movement means moderate pain
>not to mention my ankle, or "spike" as my family called it during this period of my recovery ( i just texted my mom for a picture, may deliver)
>thank god for percoset
>my life is basically a matter of being rolled around the house, drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and reading constantly (so much fucking reading)
>my friends visit me frequently and chat with me about how fucking retarded i am
>surgery time rolls around
>go to the hospital
>wait hours for surgery
>finally get anesthetized
>wake up
>the surgeons originally intended to put 1 plate and 4 screws in my ankle
>i woke up with 2 plates and 12 screws
>my pain regimen alternates between morphine and my normal percoset
>oh sweet, sweet morphine
>i get one or the other every 2 hours
>however, one night things get a little mixed up
>it was around 2 am and I woke up in severe pain
>i paged the nurse because it was about time for my next dose anyway
>sorry, you're not scheduled for another dose until 6am
>"that has to be a mistake. i've been getting medication every two hours"
>"sorry, that's what it says in the doctors orders"
>i became very scared when i realized that i wasn't going to be getting any pain medicine for 4 hours. because the hints of pain that i had been feeling were very very severe
>the following 4 hours were very likely the worst and most painful that i had ever experienced. i was in tears, crying to god, for someone, anyone to help me
>tfw you're only one of many voices in a hospital crying for help
>6am rolls around, my family comes back (they slept at home overnight, and visited during the day)
>I tell them what's going on and they're pissed
>a short while later the doctor comes in and says essentially "woops lol gave them the wrong orders"
>>28339388
>"woops lol gave them the wrong orders"
what a fucking asshole
>>28339239
yeah cat's still around. Don't particularly love animals as whole though.
>>28339001
>pretension
my b, man. didnt realize disliking gentrification and all the negatives that stem from it makes me pretentious. super sorry, bro.
there's some pdx passive-aggressiveness im sure youre also missing.
its cool, dude. ill supply it all for ya, you dont ever need to come back : )
>>28339526
made me think of anon saved by his hermit crab
https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/4ase4x/anon_and_his_hermit_crabs/
It's a good read
How hard would it be to stab yourself in the heart?
>be 19
>obese
>playing wow all day
>decided to end it once and for all
>buy a big box of xanax, lorazepam, zoloft (didn't know it had no effect at the time) and a bottle of vodka
>i was sure i was gonna nail it
>wake up 18 hours later well rested
>take a shower
>sell one of my hdds and buy more wow subscription
>fast forward, 22
>addicted to dope and lsd
>smoking every day, playing video games other than wow
>depressed as fuck
>still obese
>decide to end it once and for all
>i cut my wrist the proper way
>quickly my instinct made me sorround it with ripped bed sheets and i used hydrogen to clean it after it stopped leaking
>got drunk as fuck
>woke up all soar
>fast forward
>be 25
>get drunk, high, lsd, speed
>drive my car home from the house party
>take my dad's car because it costs 1000 euros at best, with 500 euros invested in repairs
>literally a shitbox
>drive around with a bottle of vodka
>decide to end it once and for all
>aim for the power pole
>don't see the ditch in front
>do a frontflip, with the back of the car hitting the power pole
>get out of the wreck, people gathering around
>light a cigarette and just plain say fuck it
>walked home from the scene
>the next day we collected the wreck
>be 27
>not obese for 3 years now
>got a couple of friends and i am getting better by using lsa every month to trip my self out completely
I even failed my own suicide. I am such a disappointment to everyone.
>>28339724
It's probably one of the worst method of suicide
Stabbing yourself to death is really hard
Best to make sudoku
>>28339724
Impossible unfortunately unless there's some way for you to fall directly on the knife.
>>28339774
>>28339783
Is it because there's not enough force or what?
>>28339388
>typical fucking chad doctor
>gives me a nice dose of dimerol (very strong opiate medication) as an apology
>well...maybe dr. chad isn't so bad after all
>get released a few days after
>still wheelchair bound, but my arms have more range of motion
>in 6-8 weeks i might even get to use crutches
>go back home
>continue my routine of alcohol and cigs and living on the front porch
>best friend (P) and his girlfriend come to visit me a lot, i've become very close to them both
>one night P texts me "Man I just cheated on my gf wtf should i do?"
>lol at coming to your violent criminal best friend for moral advice
>i told him to tell her . she didn't deserve that.
>i've known them both for years so i don't want to see either of them suffer unnecessarily
>basically, they break up, and I end up on the side of P's girlfriend, M.
>still trying to keep the peace between them
>but one day i receive a text from P
>If you ever talk to M again I will report you to the police for your first robbery
>best friend just threatened to send me to prison
>over a girl
>could there ever be a more flagrant violation of bros before hoes than that?
>decide that I've made the right decision in supporting M
>she visits me on an almost daily basis, bringing me beer and telling me stories about how P is threatening her
>it's a good time, except for the fact that i'm always looking over my shoulder for cops because of Ps threat
>I'm recovering bit by bit
>while i'm technically confined to the wheelchair, when necessary i can stand on my good leg and hop around from place to place
>M takes me to a friend's party in another rural area
>i drop some more acid and drink copious amounts of wine
>my friend Bernard calls and says he wants to bring a female friend of his over, but she wants one of my percs
>(i was handing them out at the party that night)
>sounds like a typical pill fiend but Bernard is a big fan of this girl for whatever reason
sorry if this is getting too normo
too long cont
>>28339854
Yeah don't even attempt it, no matter how strong you think you are I doubt it would ever work from the first try. Once you feel the incredible pain you won't be able to continue.
>>28339854
yes, your heart is behind your ribs
Really hard to reach, and also you really need to aim precisely
>>28339946
shotgun stay the most effective and painless method
Unfortunately if you don't live in the Land of the Frees it's quite hard to get
>>28339906
P's betrayal would hurt me more than the accident you went through. Fuck that guy.
>>28339906
I'm going to start wrapping things up
>i really dig pill fiend girl
>enter into a relationship with pfg
>we went a house together
>i somehow get a job as a car salesman with no experience and a record
>she's a waitress
>probably going to wait for my probation to expire before embarking on my Next Big Adventure
thanks for reading, sorry for the ending. i just started realizing how much of a norm i am become and don't want to type it out
>>28339388
lsa? addicted???
like, you take extracted shit, or do you eat morning glory seeds every day? youre just addicted to tripping the fuck out?
i took lsa nd tripped out for 15 hours. it was a good, yet difficult, challenging experience, but addictive? fuck no. i did it twice, which was enough.
what is this?
>>28340026
yes. that hurt quite a bit. he had been my friend since i was 16 years old. this betrayal came after years of friendship. part of me wishes we could still be friends but he threatened to send me to prison. i don't think i can ever forgive that
>>28340032
You're a character, I'm a normie too and can give somewhat decent advice. Get of the piss and stop doing drugs, this all started because you were unhappy, drugs and alcohol when using them how you do only make you unhappier
>>28340032
Thanks for writing all this out, Anon. It's been one of the best greentexts I've ever seen on this Indonesian pot-throwing forum.
And glad to hear things have more or less worked out and you're on your way to normiehood. All the best.
>>28340032
thanks anon, was really a good read
Stay a normie please!
>>28340032
Thanks for the read anonFucking normie
>>28340053
woops. this post was meant for:
>>28339759
>>28340032
Very interesting read. Can someone post the screen cap? Although I'm sure it will be on r/4chan sometime soon.
>>28340076
i try to drink less destructively. still like to eat some acid every now and then.
>>28340092
>>28340107
thanks. and don't worry. i just applied for my first credit card. gotta build that score up.
>>28340032
it's my first time on /r9k/ and I happen to stumble on your story which gave me some neat ideas for a future animation. If I ever get famous I'll credit you for inspiring me with some ideas. Good night anon, stay normie (drop the drugs and alcohol!)
>>28340177
Karma whores are lurking...
>>28340183
You mention you write, was that whole story fictitious and you are planning on writing a novel with a similar story?
>>28340321
i never thought anyone would give a shit about my little greentext story. my friends and family always tell me i should write about the experiences i've had. maybe i will one day. it's all true, some things omitted or simplified for convenience
>>28339382
>Good hanging anons
This is a suicide thread bro. Poor choice of words.
I have schizophrenia. I would often have complete breakdowns because of the things I saw, some nights were much worse than others.
I guess a few times I fell pretty low. I figured my life was just going to be tat way forever, hallucinating and having delusions. I put a belt around my neck and tied it to a pullup bar and tried to hang myself.
>>28340032
as promised, here is spike. rods in my shin, rods in my foot. very creepy looking
>>28341178
...aaaaand, let me guess.
yeah, i sliced my fucking leg open. missed any kind of artery or vein though. sat around for 30 mins then started pussying out and had to call my friend for a ride to the hospital. ended up getting 33 staples and like 14 stitches. lol when my friend asked what happened, i told him i was shaving my leg and cut myself. then he asked me if i was gay since im a fucking 24 y/o kv and i just laughed it off. now im living at home with my fucking mom, NEET, and wishing i had gone through with it
>>28341897
Where is that pic from,? Looks like a pic from the cowboy bebop live action movie
>>28341970
looks like constantine
the clothes and hair are shooped obviously
>be last year
>fucked up on my prescription meds laying homeless behind a dollar general
>take long razor blade and sever artery in leg also slit my own throat
>keep carving up my body literally covered in my own blood
>I lay in the grass bleeding thinking of nary to of all things in what I believed to be my final moments
>I black out
>wake up in hospital covered in stitches
>after I blacked out I drove myself to a hospital and went in covered in blood saying "help"
>car is bloody mess
>close but no cigar
>>28341970
>>28342035
live action cowboy bebop
>>28332470
>try breaking my trachea on toilet bowl
>slam throat into bowl 3 times
>doesn't work
>fall asleep crying on bathroom floor
>wake up next morning
Why can't I just be hit by a bus
>>28342160
>I demand a redo
>swallow entire bottle of extra strength Tylenol.
>drift off to sleep in disgusting trap house
>wake up vomiting blood
>think to myself "Tylenol has been absorbed they can't pump my stomach now but they can watch as my liver fails and at least make me comfy"
>drive to hospital
>put in acute failure
>tell doctor exact dosage of Tylenol I took surrounded by doctors
>he tells me I'm most likely going to die from liver failure
>80% of liver failing when tests come back
>by some miracle I regain liver function slowly and make full recovery in a week
>fucking alcoholics in my lineage ruined my 2nd attempt
>come home from afghanistan
>everything is kinda shitty for a bit but don't feel anything too bad
>one day driving to work
>all of a sudden everything just breaks forth in my head like water smashing through a dam
>swerve car towards tree, hit it at like 60mph
>hand slashed open, broke leg, broken nose
>just sit there shaking at what I'd almost done
>start going to therapy afterwards
I never told my parents
>>28337722
>jump off a bridge onto a highway
>hit by a car
>survive
Are you sure that you're not living in an action movie?
>>28333026
pretty badass dude. too bad you didn't catch yourself before you made the mistake of admitting what happened.
>>28338687
>and make the best of it
I hope you find something, Anon.
There never is a universal reason to live despite the fallacies spread by the vile pseudo-scientists called "psychologists."
You either enjoy it or you don't.
I don't understand what the people have to live for when they're in shit situations in lesser nations.
Do they lust for a better life that much to continue?
If you just have responsible fun, you'll find yourself enjoying life sooner than you think.
>>28339724
Shit way to go.
Stab yourself in the neck if you're sure you want to do it.
If you can withstand pain, I'd do it much slower with a razor blade to "be safe."
>>28340018
>shotgun
Fuck no!
Not unless you use a slug that is.
>>28342035
>looks like constantine
Yes, that's a really fun film if anyone wants to see it.
>>28334904
that's a pretty faggy method of trying to off yourself. What's sad is that you're actually proud of it too. At least the other people in this thread were serious about suicide.
>middle school me
>on scouts outing
>have no life
>have no friends
>have no future
>go to shooting range
>pick rifle
>deep breaths
>aim to head
>more deep breaths
>screams
>tackled
>knocked out somehow
>wake up tied to a bed
>1 year therapy
>>28335211
>i'm sorried about brain damage if i try again
Sounds like you're already braindead.
>>28335277
wow. that's REALLY bad, you weren't lying.
>>28333754
Fuck... you did it right and you still fucked up. Maybe you didn't take the antiemetics at the right time, or you didn't take enough?
>>28336272
that's pretty lame dude, going out of your way to traumatize the lives of everyone in there. Then people will have to clean up your pathetic body afterwards. Just jump off a building, retard.
>>28336296
if this story isn't fake, you are literally fucking retarded and you deserve death.
>>28332470
>betwo months ago
>so angry and depressed and tired of life
>take all my pills, over 100 across 6 different prescriptions
>wake up in the ER
>apparently passed out and started puking and choking on my puke while passed out like some heroin addict
>woke up my dad
>he found me and called an ambulance
now not only am I in state-mandated therapy, but I can only get my pills three days at a time.
>>28337475
>not suicide
then your post is useless, gtfo
>>28337931
a lot of anti depression meds do that pham. ofc they're not going to give a deadly, easily accessible substance to someone who's suicidal.
>try to kill self jumping off bridge
>it is a bit famous for suicides
>prepare myself mentally
>try to jump off, hesitate for a second because I wanted to finish playing tales of xillia and disgaea, wonder if I should move the date and try after
>some good samaritan grabs my waist and pulls me back, surprised the hell out of me
>probably was easy because I'm on the lighter side
>worried that he will call police or something so run
>nothing happens afterwards
Not that interesting, it wasn't much of an attempt considering I didn't actually manage to jump.
>>28339109
karma for the people he robbed and for driving drunk? lol are you a literal fucking retard? Don't get me wrong, he's a good writer with an interesting story. But he is objectively not a good person.
>>28338016
i think I just died a little inside
>>28339906
big mistake you made was bragging to your friends about armed robbery. fucking retard.
>>28341897
that's pretty pathetic dude.
>wishing i had gone through with it
Why wish? You can do it now.
>>28342236
fucking moron, just kill like yourself like all the other normies
>>28336236
Did the suicidal urges build up and get worse and more intense over time?
>Living at a literal funny farm with cows, chickens, and mentally ill people like me
>2 people in a row tell me I look terrible and I should get a haircut
>hear about how one person lit a pile of her clothes on fire in the shower deliberately and got carted off.
>one of my friends there is in the mental hospital
>I hate it there. They make us do farm work most days.
>Fuck it. I'm in a place for crazy people. I'll do something crazy. Everyone hates me anyway.
>Want excuse to talk knock on door of moderately attractive woman RA
>Been watching shoenice recently
>Drink cleaner in janitorial closet
>knock on door of RA and tell her I just drank Simple Green
>Go vomit
>She calls 911
>I vomit all the way to the hospital
>get put in psych unit with friend
>now I don't have to work!
>friend just asked farm therapist to go
>everybody laughs when I tell them why I was gone when I got back
> miserable
> decide to end it
> take a fuck tonne of solpadol (codeine)
> start to feel woozy, lie on lounge floor and feel like I'm drowning
> wake up the next day feeling like shit, with two black eyes
> don't tell anyone what I did
> spend the next week randomly being sick
>>28340032
Thanks anon, great read.
my entire life is a failed slow suicide attempt
I tried to clog my arteries with fast food. Ate at McDonalds 3 times a day for 4 months.
If this counts, I'm one of the youngest people to attempt suicide:
>be 2
>have one of those toy mopeds you ride by sitting on the saddle and kicking the floor
>lift the moped on a table
>get on the moped
>ready to go
>father has been wondering why I've been so quiet and comes in, saves me at the last moment
I don't personally remember this incident, but my mother told me about it. I do remember being very sad a lot at the time, but I'm still not sure if what I tried to do was just "little kids doing extreme things because they don't know better" or "an actual suicide attempt".
Most recent
>last year, around this time desu
>ex gf cucks me, try to kill self immediately
>chase whole bottle of sleeping pills down with booze to make me pass out, wrap belt around neck, put plastic bag over head. close eyes so ill suffocate in my medicated sleep coma.
>wake up to mom screaming at me and hitting me. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ANON ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE"
>panic mode
>literally fucking stand up, cant deal with this right now
>run out of house
>go to park nearby and sit on swings smoking a cig thinkng about what the fuck i just did
>eventually...go home, i cant just finish this, my mom would find me
>almost home when 2 state cops pull up to me
>"hey buddy ur not in truble com wit us we r here 2 help u :^)"
>fuck here we go
>have to go to hospital to get evauluated, they make me drink charcoal
>nurse drawing my blood
>*snark* "you know you did this to your mom on mothers day right"
>instantly feel like dying again
>have to spend 3 days in pysch ward
2/10 should have just gone with a bullet, or something that would have actually killed me.
How do i gain the courage to try it again, lads?
>>28335802
>sneak a few books by JD Salinger in my pack
Holy shit! I was just thinking of how your story reminded me so much of Holden Caulfield's.
>>28336391
>>cops come AND FUCKING ARREST ME FOR TRYIN TO KILL MYSELF
I always found it funny that suicide is a crime
>>28347446
do you realize what a piece of shit you are? Are you fucking retarded?
Can you imagine being your mom, on fucking Mother's Day?
Holy shit you're fucking worthless.
>>28348170
you know when you are suicidal you don't always think about the others, you just want to end your pain
>>28336705
Heaps of anti-psychotics do it, and no hospital can force you to stay on a particular medication causing side effects, if they were permanent, they'd get sued.
Dyskinesia isn't necessarily tardive, either.
>Therapist moves my appointment date back to make room for another patient
>Going through some shit with gender dysphoria and a boy I liked was taken
>Swallow a couple handfuls of asprin and prozac
>Play vidya, casually mention it to a friend
>Contact boy and get him to convince me to call an ambulance
>Therapist later mentions I should have called
>Feel smug for making the bastard upset, wont give me my hormones
I wish I had a boyfriend to kill myself or be happy with. Either works. Pls
>>28332470
How can I end it by hanging without suffering?
Should I take Zolpidem and antidepressants just before?
>>28348482
Anti depressants won't do shit to you unless you're taking MAIO's, and you're not. This is literally a google search away, come on anon, at least put some effort into it.
>>28348379
I don't think a bigger cry for attention has ever existed
>>28338016
This is an amazing story, anon. Thanks for the laffs.
>>28340032
Thanks Anon! You have a real great story
Normiehood isn't as bad as robots cut it out to be.
Good luck!
>>28339906
>Friend breaks up with girl
>You continue seeing the girl alone
Utter contempt.
>>28349801
His friend cheated, anon could have given her the dick and it would be morally sound
>>28334624
Hiw are you going to do it?
>>28336272
Soounds funny
Shooting range commander
Hey sir, carefull with that weapon. Only point it in the direction you want to shoot it at.
You: nothing personal kid
Fires
>>28349801
I understand your perspective. I would have to write extensively about Ps development as a person for my decision to make any sense. In the end I think I did the right thing, although I'm not really friends with either of them anymore
>>28337094
Tell us more please
Orignial commento for you
>>28339382
>>28336015
here's a cap if you're still interested
>>28333026
>>28333586
>>28333999
>>28334168
>>28334346
>>28334640
>>28334873
>>28335200
>>28335389
>>28335802
>le depressed chad may may
Kill yourself you fucking scum
>>28335200
>>sometimes see titties when i bring the girls carts over
did they see you watch?
>>28345057
I doubt you are still browsing here, but yes they do. The older I get, the worse it gets
>30 year old khhv
>take benzos
>snort heroin
>trouble breathing
>pass out
>wake up on the floor later
>shit two hours till work, where is my weekend
>get ready, drive to work
I don't know anymore. I just want someone to like me.
>Me
>Take a big knife
>Insert knife down in my stomach doing sudoku
>Pain is horrible but start moving knife to the left
>Pass out doing so and only moved it a little bit
>Wake up in hospital
>"Luckily you didn't touch any important organ"
Well, it is a pretty funny story to be honest.
>>28355672
>>Pass out doing so and only moved it a little bit
pretty cool
I wonder how they managed to do it
Maybe your knife wasn't sharp enough or big enough?
>>28355740
>I wonder how they managed to do it
They were badasses. We, on the other hand...
>>28332470
>>28332470
This hanging triggers me. It's clearly a drop hang, but look at the head, and where the knot is, it's like they want to suffocate painfully
>>28355572
w-what anon
how much heroin / how many mg's of what benzos did you take
this is my suicide plan and it should have no chance of failure, wtf
>>28355940
Heroin is difficult to dose, because it's so impure. I guess I didn't take enough. It wasn't a planned out suicide where I calculated doses, I just was sorta high and decided "fuck it". Not ideal conditions for a successful suicide.
I tried drinking salty water and aspirin pills. It didn't work.
My next plan is to collect a 1,000 apple seeds and consume them.
>21
>7 year gf breaks up with me
>go out to jump off bridge
>feel better by time I get to the bridge
>throw her pictures from my wallet off the side instead
>go back home
>sinks in again
>try to overdose
>only 4 paracetemol left
>take them anyway
>feel much better after a cry and a wank
>give myself tough love speech about how I'm going to be fine, how I'm going to improve myself and show her and everybody
>carry on my life as normal and learn to be fine over the course of the next decade
Make modest attempts at suicide, don't give it too much thought.
