>250 word essay
>due today
>>28321345
WHAT DO
I HAVENT EVEN STARTED IT
>>28321345
250 words is not an essay more like a paragraph
nigga, I had classes where I had to write a 250 word response to a question on 40 pages of reading every week. Takes like 20 minutes, if not less. Do yourself a favor, get off 4chan for a little bit, make some coffee, sit down, and get to it
>60 word essay due this hour
Motherfucker I had an essay worth 30% of my grade over the last two words with 1500 words in 2 hours.
Quit your bitching. Get off 4chan. Do your work.
>>28321644
>>28321589
o-ok here i g-go
>stupid niggers getting trolled by a post posted every/every other day.
Get with it r9k you autistic virgin manchildren. Inferior mentally deficient assperger having chris-chan ass motherfuckers.
>>28321345
>had an oral report due Monday
>didn't come to class
>had all day to do it
>still haven't done it
>>28321345
ignore all these other motherfuckers their oblivious as fuck to bh i knew a man who killed his wife over a 100 word essay she kept rocking in her rocking chair which was making this terrible clicking sound so he just pulled out his shotgun and blew her head right through the fucking window and goddamnit did he get that 100 words essay done before the police came very worth it he said while they was pushing his head forward so he wouldnt hit it on the roof of the squad car as they pushed him into the back seat
>>28321345
>6 page paper
>due today
> 1 and 1/2 pages done
>don't know what else to write about
>no research done yet
>3 word doctoral thesis due in a year
>10 word paper due in 30 seconds
>>28321430
>>28321589
>>28321644
I don't understand how people could possibly be this new. It's astounding.
>>28321679
Kill yourself you dirty kike, or go back to jerking off to your Thomas the tank engine folder. Why are you posting here again, you're not welcome.
>>28321345
Here let me write it for you:
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Penis!
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>>28321746
im about to graduate college and ive spent some time grading so listen when i give yall some top-notch advice here on how to write a college-level essay:
>Pick a simple, unambitious argument.
>Prove your argument on an abstract level with mathematical precision in a couple of sentences.
>Take each sentence, make it into a topic sentence, and fill the rest of the paragraph with as much evidence as you can find supporting that the topic sentence is true.
>If your paper is too short, include some worked out examples/though experiments.
>If your paper is too long, cut some of the less important evidence or some of the more straight-forward paragraphs.
>Write an introductory paragraph by starting with 2-4 sentences of background and 1 thesis statement that clearly and simply states what you will prove.
>Write a conclusion that summarizes what you proved and how you proved it. Include clever word-play or flourishes for extra points.
Congratulations. You now know how to pass (and probably get an A) on any essay for a non-graduate level course.
Really, when I graded, I was so relieved when a student argued something simple but correct that I would give them an automatic A (so long as it adhered to the requirements of the assignment of course). And I was one of the more dedicated graders...
>>28321973
Something important that I forgot to include:
>If you can't think of a simple, unambitious argument, pick a complex one and just assume a premise that gets rid of all the complexity. Clearly state your assumption in your thesis statement.
So long as you state your assumption, professors/TAs will assume that you have a firm understanding of the issue and are just focusing on a specific part because you think it is interesting or important (bonus points if you can briefly state why it is interesting or important in your introduction or conclusion).
Think this is bullshit? It's not. It's actually increasingly what scholars do. And more relevantly, I once got an A on a four-page essay on the Phaedo by arguing that Socrates's argument was correct so long as one assumed all of Socrates's (often obviously incorrect) premises.
>>28322161
*Socrates's conclusion was correct. Arguments cannot be correct -- only valid or sound.
Anyway, I don't know why I'm posting serious writing tips in a bait thread.
I do actually...
My one friend turned me down again when I asked to hang out. I'm lonely now.
>>28321345
> 250 words
You can't be serious, that's nothing. Just fucking do it.
You don't have to lie about where you've been.
We both know you've been schemin'.
So why don't you give your little voice a rest,
climb on up inside my bed, and just pretend you need me?
>42 letter essay due last millennium
JUST
>3 paragraph book report due on friday
>haven't even started
I don't know what I'm gonna do
>2 word essay due when I'm 80 years old
help me guys please
>2000 word essay due
>just do ten 200 word essays and slap them together
>get high distinctions marks
>>28321345
TOMORROW
>final lab hours
>oral French thing
>have to go to teach's office to ask her what my grade's average is so I can judge if I should even attempt doing the final exam (also have to find an excuse to why I didn't go to the final class)
THURSDAY
>all math course's online activities' due date
>final French exam
>final math exam
Haven't done jack shit.
>mfw one of my classmates just texted me: "dude, study for the exam, it's going to be fucking hell"
>>28321345
>50 word annual thesis due in 5 years.
>>28321973
>>28322161
>>28322204
I have a 6 page paper and a separate 8 page paper due tomorrow. Thanks for the tips, maybe they'll help me get started.
>my 500 word obituary was due yesterday
>didn't even due it
>can't do it and hand it in late because my muscles don't work anymore
JUST
>>28322499
self-obituaries are usually called "suicide notes," senpai
>>28322161
Can you give some good examples of assumptions please?
>>28321957
Thanks bro, I got a B+
>>28322997
Assume you want to write an essay on inequality in the work place. You might assume that (1) women make 79 cents for every dollar men make working the same job and (2) professional competence is more important than preventing the perpetuation of social inequalities. These are two very controversial discussions you no longer need to worry about. Instead, you could then argue something simpler like,
>Women may still be fairly compensated because they are likely to be less competent than man working the same job due to affirmative action.
Although, it's probably still a terrible idea to argue that. You would probably want to say you're playing devil's advocate or something.
>Fifteen word post due in five seconds
>Can't think of enough content
What do?
just copy and paste from anything from the internet.
i once wrote a 1100 word essay about geothermal power plantsi had put chapter 11 of mein kampf right in the middle of it to fill the word count reqirementprof didn't read the whole shit and i still got a 2.5
I started my 10 page essay after it was due and did 8 pages that night, turned it in the next morning
>>28321859
found the raging autist
>>28323587
Right, I see. Thanks bub
>>28321345
>250 word essay
tell your teacher you need to go print it
write it in 15 minutes
"the printer was acting up"
BINGO BANGO
>>28323727
How do you even think/type that fast?
>>28323645
Kek'd hard, my nearly adequate friend.
>>28324050
Not him but I did that as well, in the process of doing it right now. Do not recommend it. It's a hit and miss with me, I mostly get A's on them but sometimes I'll get a C. The stress just fucks me up though.
>>28321345
Dude...as much as i love being on here and dedicate most of my breathing time on 4 chan, get the fuck off 4 chan, do your essay, it'll take 2h max faggot
>>28325494
>2h to write 250 words
>Five word post due today.
>>28325494
2 hours? are you fucking 6 years old? 250 words takes 15 mins - absolute maximum
>>28321345
>mummy askes me a yes or no question
>have to give a 1 word answer
>due this hour
JUST
>>28321430
>>28321644
>>28321589
>>28322331
Lurk more newfigs
>>28321679
pls let my be your foamer gf
>>28321345
That's fucking nothing, fag, try doing a 500 word essay in 5 weeks.
>>28323680
no you didn't you edgy faggot
Niggaaaaa, I write 200 words or more in the morning while I'm drinking my coffee. Just start bullshitting and you'll reach your word limit before you even finish your thesis.
>3 things that arent Jackie Chan
>due NOW
>>28321345
>250 words
>essay
are you learning to use a telegraph ?
Just use some random copy pasta like the gorilla warfare one
>>28327744
Eggs
Lantern Jack
Jackie ch
>True or false question must be answered in the next 6 hours.
JUST
>>28321859
You're the one falling for the bait tho
>>28321345
>Just wrote THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY WORDS
>In under two hours
I hope it's not rushed
>>28325532
good work anon you get an A
