>tfw realizing you'll live and die alone, without ever having done anything meaningful or truly loved anyone
>tfw you come to terms with that realization and don't even try anymore, blocking out people and opportunities by anticipating rejection and failure
>tfw you gradually lose interest in the world around you and everything becomes more and more bland and tasteless as you start drowning in apathy and bitterness
>tfw your heart becomes jaded and cold and your perspective increasingly dark
>tfw deep down, you just want someone to hold you and tell you everything will be alright
I'm sure some of you know exactly the feels I'm talking about
Sometimes I wonder why the fuck nothing interests me at all and what I'm supposed to do with my life. I feel like I don't belong anywhere.
>>28316625
Every night I feel like I'm so pathetic and pity myself. I'm just begging about death and I don't want to wake up. He doesn't care about me, he deleted me from the chat ;-;
You sound too young to feel like life is already over.
Well you could do something meaningful with your life if you wanted to, like for example joining the YPG to fight ISIS. The only real skill you need is being semi physically fit and not afraid of death, the latter im guessing should be a given for suicidal people.
>>28316793
It doesn't get better, though.
>>28316875
Life is literally what you make it. If you don't make it better it's not gonna get better. Wish I would follow my own advice sometimes
>>28316866
>tfw given up on life so I don't put effort into anything
>tfw no motivation
>>28317165
Well obviously a minimum amount of effort is needed to be remembered for something. Its not that hard though, most of the time YPG fighters are just chilling, drinking tea and smoking. Combat is usually of short and fierce.
I would highly suggest doing it if you have lost the will to live. If you die in YPG ranks you will be remembered as a hero if you post a couple pics on instagram and do a bit of PR for yourself. Plus these guys have US special forces embedded with them, so they are legit.
>>28316625
thank you for summing up my life
>>28316625
>leaving walk-over just when it's getting interesting
open your fucking eyes dumbass
>>28316625
>not preferring to be alone
cant believe how obscure a feel this is even on a place like this
>>28316625
There's a moment when you realize there are exactly two kinds of people in the world: People with a stable foundation of personality and people without. Whether it's nature or nurture I have no idea, but at some point in your development process you either grow a sense of self or you don't, and that will never, ever change. You can build a persona from what you see around you, but nothing will ever fill the void at your center, because that defines who you are, a non-person. You look around at all the people who seem to have purpose in their eyes, who see to connect with one another in a real way. These are the people who will pursue careers and start families and maintain fulfilling friendships and romances. You are not like that. You might be able to mimic the behavior of complete people you see around you or in the media, and you might even build up an almost convincing persona, but it will inevitably decay, and the people around you will be able to smell that rot. You will be talked about like you are dead, because you already are. People will look through you because you're not really there. You will meet people like you, dead soulless people, but you won't connect the way two real personalities connect. You'll just frighten and depress each other. The hell of it is the fact that even though you will never find love or fulfillment, you'll still desperately want it. You're like a ghost. You've been miserable as long as you can remember, and you always will be.
>>28317877
I hope I eventually arrive at a simple and clear preference like this. It's abundantly clear that I'm better suited to being alone, as every interpersonal relationship I've ever had turns to shit and I know not to let anybody in anymore. But part of me still irrationally wants that.
>>28316625
It's just the world we live in son. Our obligation is to fight this.Summon up every ounce of your motivation and seek the good in life. Block out the hate and fear that limits you. Laugh at life's limitations because they will no longer fill you with despair. We created this adversity and vice versa. It exists so that we may rise. So that we have a large spectrum of experience to choose from. You know very well that there is as much love and joy to counter the worst things in life. Remind yourself this every time you encounter a new level of depression. Facing the worst things in life allows for greater things on the other end of the spectrum. The universe has a perfect balance and what we focus on creates our reality. Develop your own definitions of meaningfulness and love. Do not let society choose what this life has to mean to you. This is your expression of creation, your own existence that belongs solely to you and will never be experienced by another. Cherish it for everything it is. Push it to it's boundaries. You can ignore all of this and simply fall back into the fold with everything else. Or you can be your own source of magic in your life. Spread your influence out into the world and make it how you want it to be. Don't feel hindered or inadequate. We are all part of an organism, every last person and we effect the whole. Create a ripple with your choices and change the world. Exactly like you've already been doing your whole life. The whole world is a dark place right now and it needs people with light in their hearts.
>>28318191
what you gotta watch out for is still being stuck HAVING to be social at work/roommates
theres rarely an escape from the suffering
>>28318325
Well obviously there will never be a way to keep yourself completely alone at all times if you prefer being alone. Much like there's no way for a depressed or otherwise mentally ill problem person to surround themselves with the false comfort of people all the time. There's no solution for us the way there is with healthy people. I just wish I could have a simple, black and white preference of being alone instead of constantly wanting to be around people when alone, wanting to be alone when around people, so on and so forth.
>>28318436
try to remember that we get exactly what we want. eg. You're surrounded by people and wan't to be alone. Eventually the people will pass and you'll have your solitude.
If you constantly focus on what you don't have you will always have a sense of being unfulfilled. Instead focus on what you do possess, no matter how arbitrary or insignificant it seems and your simple appreciation will call upon more of what you're giving thanks for. Wanna be alone? Don't struggle to be alone and then take it for granted when you have it. Relish in every moment of your solitude. When you further desire companionship try not to immediately feel unease or anxiety about leaving your solitude. Steady yourself, practice control over your whims and desires. Every problem can be overcome anon, don't place yourself into an egg-basket of hopelessness.
>>28317877
if you don't have neetbux or don't work from home, it is impossible to truly be alone
>You will never feel good enough at anything to be satisfied
>You will never be great, nobody will remember you
>You never feel like you deserve anything - not a gf, not respect, not even a smile in your direction. You haven't worked hard enough for it and you never will
>>28318310
>>28318784
Go any more of these drive pics?
>>28319187
i'm afraid that's it senpai
Honestly it can't get better from here. My biggest fear at this point is that I'll end up becoming numb to any feeling or lose interest in anything that happens around me or to me for that matter. Not to sound like an edgey teen, but life's become stale and I've trained myself to have such an outlook that I have to go out of my way and work to be happy around people or make sure that I don't look too sad so that people will leave me alone. I guess this is what being a robot's all about. Its not really a badge or title we wear, more like an illness but at least we embrace it. Anyways, there's my two cents
>>28318928
this very hard. It fucks me up real bad but I know it's true that I'm completely inferior
>>28318928
Being good enough or remembered doesn't matter. No matter what you do in this life you, like all of us, will not matter at all once we're all gone. Everything you create, destroy, love, hate, think, and say will be gone and won't matter. Even if you wiped out a country or a race or hell even humans as species, your accomplishment would still be insignificant.
>>28316625
It's a little bit early in life to give up. Very unlikely any of us reading this thread are over 50 years old.
