/mischeif/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
ITT: /mischief/ only
>waiting in drive thru at chic-fil-a
>order food
>receive food from minimum wage worker
>tells me to have a nice day
>I don't
>vomit on floor
>blame on dog and force him to eat it
>he did
>>28313848
>mommy told me not to do something
>did it
>caution wet floor
>cautions not in my vocabulary
>mommy always told me to eat my vegetables so I'd grow up big and strong
>now beat her up if she's late with my tendies.
>go to chinese restuarant 5 minutes before they close
>they have to take my order
>>28313848
>mom tells me not to eat 2 cookies
>I don't
>post in a /mischief/ thread anyway
>try to improve myself by doing stuff outside and learning to play an instrument
>slowly lose confidence in everything that I do and in myself
>have little to no faith that I will ever stop being alone
>want to simply off myself sometimes
>don't
>hit crosswalk button
>don't cross road when traffic stops
>decide to not cross the road after all
King me
>go to supermarket
>fill shopping cart full with finest premium goods
>items stacked precariously in shopping cart
>go to checkout
>cashier begins ringing up items
>long line forms behind me
>"sorry folks I simply must have all of these costly premium foodstuffs"
>cashier now scanning last ~20 items
>"oops silly me. I seem to have forgotten the organic spread! Won't be a moment"
>leave checkout on the pretense of fetching the organic spread
>leave store entirely
Ohohohohoho how delightfully devilish!
>>28314701
Where can I buy that pillow, senpai?
>>28314959
That's more like it
Originals
>go to polling center
>enter and exit booth
>receive "i voted" sticker
>wear it proudly all day
I didn't vote at all you stupid sheep ;)
>promise mommy I won't kill myself
>kill myself later that day
Fucking normies, I do what I want
>know using a trip is attention whoring and makes me a huge fag
>do it anyway
>SATANIC
>get banned
>open cmd
>ipconfig /release
>ipconfig /renew
>>28313848
>Live in Baarle-Nassau
>Order package from Amazon
>List my country as Belgium
>Actually live in the Netherlands
>voices in my head tell me to do things
>don't do them
>>28315428
here is your (you)
origami
>homeless man asks me for a dollar
>give it to him
>i actually hate homeless people
DEVILISH
>Walking downstairs to the kitchen to get some fizzy juicy (Coca Cola for you normies)
>Mommy is making din din (Tendies again, oh boy!)
>Accidentally trip and fall on the last step
>Mommy laughs
>"Better watch your step, anon!" she says
>Later that night
>Go to the kitchen
>Grab some pots and pans
>Start banging them together while screaming for mommy
>Hear mommy waking up
>She starts running down the steps to see what's going on
>Halfway down she trips on the piece of wire I placed
>Hear her fall
>She hits her head on the end table near the stairs
>Walk over to mommy
>"Maybe next time you should watch your step" I whisper to her
>Giggle to myself while she lays on the floor
>Go to my room and browse /r9k/
>It's been 5 hours and she still hasn't woken up
>She's gonna have a big mess to clean up when she does
That'll teach her to laugh at her special little boy.
>suck some fag's dick
>inform him afterwards that he just got sucked by a straight guy
>live in australia
>carry a pocket knife
>>28315638
duivels
>>28314728
All the time. Make sure to stand at the edge of the road staring at the drivers.
>go to clothing store to buy a sweater
>employee talks to me and shows me more clothes
>cashier asks me if anyone helped me when I get to the register
>shake my head and say no
>>28315833
That's the most devilish thing I've heard in my life
>>28314579
Got me on this one, keked out loud
>go to therapist for help
>lie about myself and don't listen to his suggestions
>also actively take steps that further ruin my life each day
>try and help me now
>>28316026
If she doesnt wake up take a shit on her. Or dump your piss bottles on her.
Your choice really.
>go to McDonald's
>order and pay for my food
>leave before order is ready
>laugh as chaos ensues
>pull into the mcdonalds drive thru late at night
>order 2 big macs and coke
>pull forward and pay for it
>cashier tells me to pull forward to the next window to pick up my food
>floor it and drift sideways out of the drive thru leaving the dumb mcdonalds bitch holding my food like an asshole
>eat tortilla pringles instead
>>28313848
>Supporting those hate-mongers
>>28313848
>Offer someone some handwash
>Tell them it kills 100% of bacteria
>It only actually kills 99.99%
>girl begs for me to cum inside her
>don't
>>28314506
i deadass did this on xmas once
except for the eating it part
>>28313848
>mum asks me to make her a sleepy tea to help her get to sleep before her big presentation the next day
>Make here a caffeinated tea instead
>She can't sleep at all and fails the presentation
>Gets fired and relapses into depression
GOTCHA BITCH. THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING TEA
>>28314541
it wasn't on your parent's either since they had you
>spend hours in a call with police pretending to be cyber bullied online
>they have to waste time and I can't get into trouble for timewasting
Say I'm gonna get trips
Don't get trips
