Your best days are behind
You enjoyed the shit out of life
You were on the Dean's list
2 year of intense sickness followed by a severe depression is enough to rob you out of your life. Failure after failure, it's drop out or get kicked out
Now you're aimless, life is mediocre. Seeing your former friends in residency breaks your heart. If you see some of them ,they pretend not know recognize you. At least they won't learn that you became a low-life
Having it all and losing it all is worse than never having anything because you'll always compare yourself to your former self
I even failed a fucking suicide attempt ffs.
nobody here knows suffering?
Dropped out of ChemTech but recognise that feel.
>>28308560
what hapenned?
>>28308685
Psychotic attacks and later diagnosed with schizo.
>>28308731
I feel you bro. What do you do these days?
My family wants me to go in nursing instead now. I think it will just trigger me, everytime a doctor will order me around, it'll trigger me and i'll remember that i'm supposed to be a fucking doctor
>>28308797
I'm a NEET for now but hope to come back. My memory is quite bad at this moment and I still suffer panic attacks and hear vague voices. Angry all the time, too.
Pre-med dropout. Never really cared, something parents pushed on me
>>28308070
>med school dropout
it's almost impossible to drop out of med school unless you actually tried.
medical schools have a huge support network and will exhaust every possibility before you drop out.
I've always felt for that guy in Scrubs, the one who failed out of being an intern and actually started working as a fucking cashier in cafeteria. Imagine being such a loser and having to still work around these who succeeded. I can't really imagine a worse job, or life.
>>28308797
Exactly. Now, I don't know about murrica, but here in my country doctor is being such an unrewarding career path anyway..Do you think you could try something else? Science, business, whatever? I have coworkers who were supposed to go into medicine (I work in data science) and they are still pretty happy here.
>>28308854
>it's almost impossible to drop out of med school unless you actually tried.
False
>>28308925
I'd love becoming a pharmacist. Not sure if it's still possible at this point tho
>>28308976
How old are you, anyway? I'm getting another degree and I'm 27, and sure there are people older than me here. It's not orthodox but you can get degree later in life and still make it work.
>>28309001
24. got in med school at 19
>>28308070
>working on PhD
>one of top students in department
>get brain cancer
>multiple brain surgeries fuck my shit up
>horrible chronic pain, cant walk straight, need to sleep all the time
>too disabled to go on
>drop out
>lose friends, career, hopes, dreams
>contemplate suicide daily
At least I still have /r9k/, right?
>>28308070
Thinking about dropping out from something slightly more prestigious than that. I actually wish I had become a doctor after all. Maybe I'll enroll in medical school instead.
>>28309315
bro i swear OP here. I thought i was was suffering, holy fucking shit. I can't even imagine going through that. I'm such a little bitch man
During my sickness period, we thought i had a brain tumor.Thankfully i didn't, we looked for the cause for a long period of time until we found it.These fucked up symptoms were fucking me up big time for so fucking long,i wasn't the same person afterwards. Then with alot of shit going on in my life, i just became extremely fucking depressed and had difficulty getting shit done.
Like my problems were fucking massive for me.
But damn man, i just realised that i was just being a fucking weak-ass bitch. So is 98% of people here. Fuck man, i fucking feel you, i don't even fucking know you but your story makes me wanna cry man. Wanna talk? Tell me if you want someone to talk to man
Fuck man, i really took my life for granted.Same goes for most people here...How does your family, friends and former friends react to that?
>>28309332
what is it? why do you want to drop out? it doesn't have anything to do with depression right?
bump1231
>>28309470
Don't let my suffering delegitimize your own, anon. No doubt you have gone through some real shit. Did you find out what your medical problem was in the end? What was it?
Yeah... so I survived a rare brain tumor that was situated just above my brainstem. Was a bitch to get out. I needed 3 surgeries just to address hydrocephalus and other swelling... then another 3 to get the tumor out. The first attempt went through my frontal lobe. The second went through my corpus callosum. Then they went through my temporal lobe, near the motor cortex. I bled a lot during that last one, which led to more generalized brain damage. The end result was that I developed seizures, unremitting neuropathic pain, an inability to defecate/urinate on my own (thankfully I fixed this with intense physical therapy... which involved shoving instruments up my ass to assist with "exercising" those muscles), and PTSD (I woke up paralyzed during one surgery).
Yeah it has pretty much been hell on Earth. After getting out of the hospital, I got the "hero/survivor" treatment from friends and family. It was nice. But that was years ago.
A lot of robots out there wish that they could get a medical diagnosis like mine... because then it would be "legit," and they imagine that such a diagnosis would bring them support... or at the very least an "understandable" reason to kill themselves.
But what they don't consider is that people can only tolerate being supportive for so long before they tire out. You might get a few months. Maybe a year. But then if you don't get "better" (i.e. back to your pre-surgery self, which is usually impossible) within some arbitrary timeframe that others deem to be "reasonable"... well, if you don't get better, people start to blame *you* for not getting better. And don't even think about suicide being an "understandable" option anymore.
Yeah, life sucks, man. I guess we just have to push through as best we can.
>>28309315
haha i'm smarter than you
Life is meaningless from the square one. Chad who spout meme like "just b urself" or "u can make a meaning to ur life lol" aren't thinking logically and fall for the Spook.
Even if you think your life has a meaning or you pull a meaning to it from your assistance right now, you are just harming yourself. It's just fantasy, escapism, fun and games.
Inb4 Le Donald and mic key picture
>>28310219
It was a dumb problem, mix of different medication to treat different medical conditions, anticholinergics,etc. They used to work well but for some reason they started fucking up with my nervous system, and apparently my body could never really recover so an insane fatigue from hell was building up->which lead to my insane fucked up symptoms. I never thought something so trivial could give symptoms similiar to a neurological disease,brain tumor
I understand that people can only be supportive for so long. In the end, you are truly the only person you can fully depend on. And you're the only person that can actually help yourself the most
It's suffering when you really can't do much because of something major out of your control (like your problems).
What do your old phD friends say about you now? when was the last time you talked to a university friend? Was he like "Get your shit together already!"?
A lot of you keep saying you have a sickness? Is that a nice way of saying mental disorder? I'm not trying to start shit, just trying to get perspective.
>>28310313
Delivered because fuck you with that bullshit
>>28310845
Huh, I'm going through insane fatigue right now as well... much worse than after surgery. I'm starting to wonder if my cocktail of medications is to blame. At one time I was taking 14 different meds a day. I'm down to 4 now... and am starting to wonder if my anti-seizure med is the culprit.
Anyway... I know what extreme fatigue is like. It sucks... and most people who have it go through many of the things that you describe, including (especially) lost friendships. If you don't make the effort - and you really can't with extreme fatigue - the natural result is that your friends will grow distant.
How do my PhD peers react now? Only one person ever told me to "get my shit together" (paraphrasing). The rest... are presumably somewhat understanding. I don't know for sure.
Remember that when humans are faced with an information vacuum (in this case, "What are my peers thinking/saying about me?"), we typically project our worst fears onto the situation. We are pessimistic creatures by nature, especially when it comes to our self image.
So yeah I spend time worrying about what my friends and peers might think of me now. Those thoughts are never rosy. But I remind myself that I am human, and that I spend way more time thinking about this issue than my peers do. They are so wrapped up with their own affairs that they don't have the time/energy to worry about me.
Do you get actual negative feedback from your peers?
>>28311164
Not in this case. It sounds like OP had a severe, negative reaction to certain medications... and it took a damn long time for people to figure it out.
