I've never kissed anyone.
Never had sex.
But I had a revelation, that this fact is not nearly as embarrassing and marring as the fact that I don't WANT to.
People are fine with you being undesirable. But what they can't comprehend is your disinterest in their playing field.
You become worse than the freak they were comfortable with you being.
Put yourself in a room with a faggot, a rapist, and you.
Some ambiguous reclusive thing, not wanting to interact with the world.
They'll cast you out before the rest.
At least with the criminals and the degenerates, they know where they stand.
But not you.
You're something unnatural, and you don't fit in with the hierarchy of motive that has been formed since civilization started to thrive.
Are we truly products of our time?
There has never been an age that could sustain people like us.
With our personality, or lack thereof.
We don't operate in "village" mentalities anymore.
A man can die in his apartment and rot for weeks until someone comes looking for money from him.
Jesus fucking christ, is this how people become serial killers?
This.
This feeling?
guys
>even when confronted with the cold harsh reality of his failure the narcissist will invent new values, morals, and ideals seemingly on the fly to protect the inflated ego and sense of worth.
>For example, if he is losing a race he might say "whatever, I never wanted to win anyway," or begin attacking the very concept that is racing, or even changing the very rules of the game in order to declare themselves the winner, or at least the better of those they appear to have lost to.
>Truly a fascinating breed.
>>28279232
>tfw you identify with this post
yeah I noticed this too
I get people turning on me in every workplace when they realize you can't be emotionally manipulated
>>28279232
typical normie way to shame the people OP described, once you are a robot and realize it you can never have the same normie values you once had, doesn't mean you are anywhere near narcissism
I was like you op, turned out I was just gay.
>>28279180
i think you might be onto something, at first some people seem normally interested in me like in everyone else they meet at first, but only after a few sentences they avoid me like i am a fucking serial killer and a rapist or some shit, i really don't know what their problem is but people go out of their fucking way to make fun of me sometimes without me doing anything but standing there and doing my job/work/whatever
i find it extremely cruel and incomprehensible
>>28279232
Are you saying that there is an inherent, defined criteria for success?
> the narcissist will invent new values, morals, and ideals
Are you seriously dissuading people from creating their own value in life?
>>28279232
Rationalizing and relativizing your desires is the ultimate key to eternal happiness.
>>28279321
>Are you seriously dissuading people from creating their own value in life?
Well I wasn't in this post, but yeah that's a philosophy I strongly discourage.
Objective value leads nowhere but chaos and moral decay. It is the philosophy of the drug addict and the prostitute.
>>28279335
Within the confines of human values, the tao, the unseeable but obviously present set of rules we lay down for a society.
Regardless of how happy randomly murdering people makes a person, it is never right. This establishes the existence of such a set, we've only to define the edges.
Doing so in a vacuum is the feminist ideal, it may sound fun and good to the inventor, but in the long run they end up more unhappy, more addicted to some chemical imposter of happiness.
>>28279232
I am familiar with the fox and the grapes fable.
Though if I were to elaborate my point.
Even though I never wanted part of this game, i'd rather people just think I lost it and avoid them.
Proving them wrong is too much effort.
But now, however, they have a new weapon.
They forge their own truth of me on a new level.
To attempt and tell me my "failure" is what created my disinterest.
As this is the only way that can comprehend it.
I'm not a hopeless romantic.
I've never had a night where i'd lie in bed wishing I had to share it with someone.
Intimacy, to the basic definition of it's nature disturbs who I am as a person, perhaps because it requires a deep unhindered connection between people.
I'm pretty goddamn empty besides the few things I take interest in.
And I don't feel like a person a lot of the time.
I feel like an anomaly.
A smattering of concepts tethered together by flesh.
Not even covets, or ambition anymore really.
Just concepts and ideas.
Maybe the only thing I still covet is to wish I didn't exist.
Not death, that's too fathomable.
I want to stop being.
And call it courtesy, call it narcissism, call it pride, whatever you want.
But I know i'm a shell of a person, and I wouldn't try and see if I wasn't or if I could trick someone into believing such just to see if I could.
And I don't think I ever will.
>>28279180
Arcanine is filled with disgusting failed normies who won't understand this
>>28279406
if you truly are devoid of any desire for companionship or sexual gratification perhaps you are asexual.
In this day and age defining yourself as such will not only be accepted but praised by the masses.
You could be a hero.
>>28279383
Yes, but to what point do you need to be part of this society, how far do you need to follow this unseen order?
Naturally you cannot go and murder aimlessly for pleasure, but not because such a thing is wrong, there is no right, there is no wrong, but because it is pointless and only offers a temporary satisfaction.
If you can see this as such, you can relativize the desire to aimlessly murder by weighing the reward against the obvious cost.
You don't commit crime because it is "wrong", because society considers it to be "wrong", but rather because the net reward of the crime is less than the net reward of not commiting it.
Obviously there is no vacuum, you can't detach yourself entirely in any viable fashion. But the boundaries you seem to be experiencing are a lot less rigid than you think them to be.
Happiness is worthless and fleeting, what matters is being content with your situation.
>>28279383
kys reactionary shitlord
>>28279433
I'm not special.
I get rock hard erections over pretty depraved shit.
So i'm not a brick wall or anything.
I still feel lust.
it affects my brain, it changes how I ideate things.
But my dick doesn't dictate my choice, not in the long term, and not in the longer short term.
I haven't masturbated since december 28th around.
So I can say that lust doesn't exactly command me entirely, but I do still watch shit when I get bored.
I don't feel like being a hero anymore.
This shit just sucks, I thought I could ride off the coattails of what people thought I was if I decided to continue.
Synthesizing my despair into an act that could be admired and take the admiration and turn it into locomotion.
But it's too much work.
I feel the weight of my own limbs dragging into the earth when I rest.
Like these "ideas" i'm made of just want to pull me apart.
I just want it to be over.
The narcissistic psycho in me wants to be rewarded with obliteration because of my disinterest in "taking anyone with me"
I fear i've become malicious, at least on some deeper level.
I shouldn't want to be rewarded for resisting an urge of malice, resisting something I know I shouldn't even do in the first place.
It's ridiculous, like some bratty child's logic is driving a nail through my one chance to maintain a consistent path.
What is that? the Id?
The Freud shit right?
I always wondered if I truly don't want a girlfriend or I just don't want because I can't get one.
>>28279530
Could we ever know for sure?
The way they'd make our brains out to be, they are tricky bastards who would do anything and create any feeling or compromise it has to to survive.
To maintain it's own agency, sanity and stability.
So would it convince you that you just don't want one if it did the math that you can't get one behind your back?
Why do we get depressed? Depression is just a sideeffect of our brains picking up slack because some chemical is running low in our brain for whatever reason apparently right?
Way I see it there is way too much shit to account for to exist comfortably.
you can't trust a goddamn thing.
They keep changing the rules.
Maybe decartes had it right.
Who is to say we even understand what it is to "think".
Maybe we aren't thinking.
But we damn sure "are"
And it's starting to piss me the hell off.
>>28279232
>you don't want a relationship or to have sex?
>there's no way bro! you must want it but you're too much of a failure to get it
Normalfags have a really hard time digesting the idea that not everyone is obssessed with sex and intimacy like they do.
>>28279472
>there is no right, there is no wrong
this is an idea I wholly reject. There is an obvious sense of right and wrong. Common human experience, across cultures we strive for the "good" which is always an eerily similar set of values despite our vast differences and geographic isolation.
If my eye sees well it is a good eye.
If a human being does well at being a human being it is a good human being.
The pursuit of contentment is present all throughout the animal kingdom. It is not unique to humans, animals eat because they are hungry. They stop eating when they are full.
Humans possess higher facilities, the most obvious of which is the capacity for reason.
If a man reasons well he can be said to be a good man. To reason well is not merely to make an argument. I can make an argument calling for the abortion of all children. That does not make it well reasoned. The basis by which we measure reason is what is right and what is wrong.
>>28279517
Nietzsche was wrong.
And I would not hold him up as an example of a human being performing its function well.
>>28279582
>what board am I on
>how did I get here
>this is not my beautiful house
>>28279613
>If my eye sees well it is a good eye.
That's because you benefit from such an eye. Good usually translates into benefit to the one making the statement. We look down on thieves and call them wrongdoers, yet thanks to them our good boys in uniforms have a paying job trying to catch them. It all depends in relation to what you describe something as good/wrong and at what magnification you look at it. You could look at the human body with a microscope and see this huge battle going on, and with the good/wrong mentality you would start picking sides, but if you were to leave the microscope you will see a healthy and functioning human being.
>>28279726
No disagreement here.
Behavior which is truly beneficial is good. Problem is much that is not beneficial is called good.
Cutting down some trees to build a house is good.
Cutting down an entire forest to build many houses is bad.
The measurement we have for determining the point at which tree removal goes form necessary and good to environmental destruction and bad is... in the intangible form of the good. Temperance is not merely utilitarian.
Is a nuclear bomb a good thing simply because it performs its function well or benefits those who would drop it?
>>28279799
>Cutting down some trees to build a house is good.
>Cutting down an entire forest to build many houses is bad.
Good/bad for who? You're missing the point about it being good/bad in relation to someone/something and in what magnification we observe it. If you define good as profit then you also must state for who it is good. Cutting down a forest can also improve the conditions for an animal that had it rough in the thick forest. A nuclear bomb can be good because it removes the dissease that is life off the planet. It all depends how you look at it. There is nothing objectively good/profitable, it always depends in relation to who/what it is so.
