Does anyone else ever feel like they're not the main character in their own life?
Everyone else is going through the adventures, the trauma, the laughs, the real problems, the REAL THINGS.
Meanwhile, anything I've experienced, bad or not, is so incredibly nullified by the stories of all those around me that it's hard not to focus on it.
I'm a background character in my own story.
>>28251241
Same here. The easiest way to describe myself would be an observer. I don't do anything. I just watch other people do stuff and wonder what it's like.
>>28251241
Same
I sometimes feel like I'm watching some reality show where every person I know is part of the main cast as I watch them their everyday lives as the viewer who's role is meaningless
>>28251241
Maybe an anti-hero in a way. Since no one would root for us.
I like watching the world go by. I've never liked doing things, I don't even like playing video games. I get the most satisfaction from just observing what's happening around the world. I wish I could become a ghost who could go around the world observing world leaders and war zones. Or a computer program that roams around the net gathering information.
>>28251241
who /nick carraway/ here
I feel like a fucking out of frame background character without a speaking role in some direct-to-VHS movie. I wish I could view life as this wacky sitcom where I shrug off everything that comes my way and make lots of friends and memories with my cavalier, nonchalant attitude but I just can't do it. I'm a lonely, clumsy, meek, mentally-ill loser and I want to die.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the main character and my life is a series like Welcome to the NHK or Oregairu or something but then I realize stories like that involve the socially crippled loner eventually doing something besides waking up and doing the same thing alone, every day. I have gone 22 years without developing as a person at all. I'm still the same scared shy little boy I was at 12. I am not the main character, I'm just part of the scenery if anything.
I feel like the protagonist but also I'm my own antagonist and the only character in my tragic story
I'm not a side character or even a background character.
I'm just another lit up window in the night.
And that's all I'll ever be.
>>28251299
Wow dude so deep ... Feels
>>28251241
Greetings, fellow wizard. When did you realize you were the underground man?
I know so many people doing amazing things and fulfilling their dreams that sometimes feels like I'm meant to be nothing more than an aid to the success of others. I want to do great in my life, but I'm not even capable of ever doing so.
>>28251769
what kind of "amazing things"? I think you're full of shit. Most people aren't that successful.
>>28251829
They're attending prestigious universities and getting jobs at fancy companies. On my mom's side, I'll probably be the only cousin that doesn't become a millionaire.
>>28251829
Most people don't wish for death every day.
No because there are no other character than myself in my life to begin with
>>28251728
Dostoevsky wrote lots of stuff like that. Like White Nights, and I just got done reading House of the Dead.
>>28252020
Bug there's nothing amazing about that.
I may have had a late start, I am not successful, I may not be super talented, I am even reclusive, but I refuse to just be on the sidelines and not be my own person.
So what if I see that one person that instantly draws everyone to me? In the end even they respect me and know they cannot push me around even if I don't bend over backwards to be in their presence. I will keep doing what I do, I will keep failing and I will keep getting back up learning from my mistakes and become stronger, even if I have to make that mistake many times over to learn from it.
I won't relinquish my hobbies because I am not where others are or where I should be or that I am too old, and I will not give up on what ever naive dreams I have when it comes to relationships, hobbies, careers, and so on until the last breath is driven out of me.
