who /going off the deep end/ here?
>>28245853
>the mania's klcking in
>>28245853
>literally working myself to death and have become more withdrawn at wageslave job
>drinking no longer numbs anything
>blood pressure is up
>go to bed every night wishing I was normal
>>28245966
do your coworkers hate you?
That's kind of how I felt for the last couple of weeks. I had some weird rashes.
I'm back to the dull pain now though!! :)
>anxiety, depressed, shitty life
>diagnosed with schizophrenia last year
Just waiting on my next episode now. This is it, my life is in full decline and there is no turning back.
Last summer I went straight off the deep end. Ive been depressed for years and I had a bad LSD trip that made me think Satan was real and that I was turning into a psychopath. I started believing in all this strange mystical shit. At the same time the girl I was obsessed with was seeing one of my best friends and it enraged me. So that rage coupled with years of accumulating depression and a bad LSD trip landed me in two different psych wards. I had been screaming and crying and breaking things and I felt like I was going insane. Luckily its all settled down now. I'm still extremely depressed but I don't feel insane anymore and I don't believe in Satan. Also I'll never take research chemicals again.
April was a really bad month for me. I did lose it for a while. Stopped going to school, eventually dropped out altogether. Stopped eating, fucked up my sleep schedule.
But I think things are improving. I'm angry now, more than just sad and listless. And that anger is now directed at my depression. So I get mad at my bullshit and go do something else.
>>28245853
My meds make me numb. When I get bored, I don't take them for a few days see what happens.
I can here the normalfags partying outside my apartment. I wish they'd shut up because I have to wake up early to finish my term paper.
I went off the deep end last semester after a night of binge drinking. Mental breakdown, would have thrown myself off a nearby overpass into traffic if the alcohol hadn't immobilized me so much. Just cried and cried and cried. Then puked for 3 hours. Then woke up wanted to kill myself. Went the rest of the semester suicidal, just floating from class to class, procrastinating everything till the last moment.
Did it get better this semester? Yeah I guess. I'm still suicidal and think about killing myself daily, but I haven't used drinking to cope which is good. Honestly, I just hate seeing normies so damn happy and having the ability to just not have a care in the world. I worry about everything, I'm paranoid, I can barely go outside without thinking all eyes are on me. Judging me, my clothes, my hair, even my music even though they can't hear it.
It's hard sometimes, but I just remind myself that the longest I have left is only about 60 years then I'll die and everything I was will be erased and no one will remember me or my meager influences. Honestly I'll probably be killing myself once my parents go. I don't give a shit about my brothers feelings
I'm a kissless virgin and I live in a motel and I have no friends
My dad calls me every once in a while to make sure I haven't hanged myself, but that's pretty much the only human contact I get outside of my job
The despair is setting in and I find myself laughing until my belly aches about the moral corruption that permeates our society
I shaved my head and have dedicated myself to austerity, I hope to serve God and eliminate the spiritual rot from my life
37 khv. Lost it a few years ago.
I mean, I'm still a funtional being, but I've lost all motivation to live, or at least strive for a better life.
I used to earn six figures, now I've been a neet for two years.
I've gained weight (~5 lb, not much, but it shows on my stomach).
I've lost all nuance in world view. Everyone is a fucking libcuck in my eyes now.
Don't know if I've accepted the red pill or am just angrily impotent or both.
basically stopped giving a shit about everything and have reductively adjusted my world view, but I'm not objectively sure it's worse.
