Who /FuckedBeyondRepair/ here?
>Be me, 20.
>Finally decide to give life a shot and try out college.
>Tfw I'm finally going to get educated, get my dream job, make my parents proud and actually accomplish something in my life!
>First semester starts in September, 2015. Ignore my "Bad Thoughts" and do well.
>Second semester starts in January, 2016.
>Things get bad.. depression is the worst its been, anxiety is horrible, extreme paranoia, visual and auditory hallucinations.
>Failing three of the five classes, dropped out of the fourth, barely passing the fifth.
>Started going to Psychiatrist, got committed to hospital for a few days.
>Diagnosed with Schizophrenia.
>Dropping out of college next week, going to live with my parents for a few years to try to enjoy whatever is left in life.
Planning on shooting myself whenever it feels right, probably in 1-5 years time.
There's just nothing fucking left anymore, no hope, no future, no chance of making my parents proud, no chance of fixing things.
I blew it, I have nothing left to live for.
Anyone else able to relate?
You should try overdosing on LSD. You might end up accidentally curing yourself.
>>28240417
>Anyone else able to relate?
I'm only failing one class, but I'm American. I can't drop out because then I'd have to pay back loans, I don't have a car so getting a job will be nigh impossible, my parents will kick me out if I drop out even if student loans weren't an issue. I'm too depressed to do well in school and doubt I'll find proper meds that will mitigate it.
you people thinking your life is over at 20 are adorable
give it a few more years
>>28240417
Not saying you should do either, but why would you simply shoot yourself instead of taking out a normie or two that helped put you in the situation you're in now? If you kill yourself the normie's win.
>>28240417
get into painting or sculpting and become a crazy artist
the public loves crazy artists
Pretty much the exact same scenario for me, minus the schizophrenia. First semester of college went amazing. Second semester has been a total disaster. Depression has hit me full force and basically left me incapacitated. I no longer attend my classes, and just lay in my bed all day. Video games and alcohol no longer work as an escape from reality, so I just sleep, hoping one time I won't wake up. I'll probally just jump off one of the dorm buildings by the end of the semester.
>>28240502
Yeah I'm 27 and to my horro I have realized it's far from over.
>>28240683
Again, why would you kill yourself alone without others? Remember who put yourself in the situation you're in. Don't just kneel over and die, then the Normie's win. Either go out with a bang ostruggle through.
>>28240417
You're sick OP, it's not your fault.
That said,
>>28240640
Or who knows, maybe you're one of the lucky few who doesn't get turned into a zombie by the meds.
ITT: latent schizophrenia and bipolar
Get checked and try contacting your school's disability programs to account for your disabilities.
>>28240417
I got diagnosed with bipolar not to long ago its the 2nd worst mental illness, but yours is number 1
>>28240518
>implying it is anyone else's fault that OP is insane
>>28240417
>be 20
>thinks anything is fucked beyond repair
go fuck yourself you insolent little shit
>>28240417
OP Can u give details on those visual and audio hallucinations u were having
26. Depressed since I was 12. Should have tried therapy years ago. It's too late now.
Have you tried any medications? They work for some people. I have schizophrenia as well, and have been on antipsychotics for 8 months and I've been gradually getting more and more functional. Lot's of people deal with this disease, especially if it's caught early (it sounds like it was for you).
Don't give up hope yet OP! I know it seems bleak, but you still have some options to try.
