Who here /devilish/
>Go to restaurant
>ask for extra napkins
>take them home
>never buy napkins again
>>28237029
>go to market for groceries
>take extra plastic bags
>never buy trash bags again
>>28237029
>go to movie theater
>finish watching my movie
>walk into a different one
>>28237029
I do this at any fast food place that has an open napkin dispenser. Avoid the brown ones, ESPECIALLY McDonalds those are shit tier (probably to deter napkin thieves like myself).
>go to university
>skip orientation and all the events they set up to help you meet people and make friends
>spend the next four years crushingly alone and depressed
>get depressed
>post thread saying I'm killing myself
>tell robots they were the only friends I had in this world
>change my mind
>make same thread the next day
>>28237029
>see /devilish/ thread
>don't want to reply
>reply
>go out with friends
>buy my first few drinks
>they're buying their drinks and getting drunk
>"I don't wanna drink anymore"
>"nah bro cmon drink!"
>actually do want to drink, but keep saying I don't
>have them buy my drinks because drunk people love to get drunk together
>drink $80 worth of alcohol for the price of 3 beers
>make thread about how it's impossible to get a gf as a manlet
>own father is 5'7
>>28237473
>being a normie
>posting on r9k
Absolutely devilish anon
>premed
>about to fail a course if I don't do well on the final
>spend half hour writing devilish stories
>>28237029
>have a long dialogue with some loser about my depression and loneliness as a virgin
>am happily married and i was just in between dota 2 games
>>28237248
I went to orientation and all the events set up for that, and I have still spent the last year crushingly alone and depressed.
>>28237029
>chat with "young girls" online
>tell them gross sexual fantasies
>tell them I want to meet them for sex
>arrange a time and place to meet up
>aware that it's some police detective pretending to be a loli
>will arrive at the sting wearing le trollface mask and say "ha ha ha i trol u!!!!"
>
>>28237508
>oregano continent
>be German
>vote for Merkel
>support every "refugees welcome" movement
>call for more immigration of muslims
>mfw white people will go extinct in my lifetime
>mfw I will witness the collapse of western civilization
>>28237629
>Arrange a time and place to meet up
>dont go
>>28237729
So, the Germans have finally accomplished what they failed to do twice.
>>28237778
fiendishly original!
>use neighbors wifi to send bomb threats
>no one saw him for two weeks
>>28237629
>>28237778
>Arrange a time and place to meet up
>Do it again with some guy
>He ends up getting arrested for your crime
step your devilish game up faggots
>tell somebody their opinion is shit in a thread
>leave before they get a chance to respond
>girl rejects me
>shit on her windshield and cut her brakes
>>28237609
Same here, except it's been three years for me.
>advise loser virgin to look into PUA seminars
>know for a fact that it's a useless scam that will do him no good
>accidentally hit someone's car backing out
>leave a note with my phone number on windshield
>rains an hour later
>never get a call
>>28237473
>drink $80 worth of alcohol for the price of 3 beers
whats beers cost 80 dollars for three?
>>28237248
My orientation was just a "yes means yes" anti-rape campaign, talking about the traditional gang signs that students put up at football gangs, and informing students that the drinking age is 21. You didn't miss much.
>>28238108
beer: $10
after customary 200% tip to not get thrown out of the bar: $24
Overall he saved $8, not bad
>>28237248
this is literally me
original comment
>kill myself
>don't stream
>whine and bitch about being alone, never going to get a decent wife
>I actually have a very large friend group at an old school church with perfect opportunities to socialize and meet qt girls but I skip going every time since I became a fedora retard
>notice mcdonalds is pretty busy today
>sneak into drive thru line without ordering
>ask the cashier for just napkins
>pull forward to the second window
>they hand me someone's bag of food
>"here you go have a nice day :)" "thanks"
>take free food home and eat it
i bet it really fucks things up for the business tho
>>28238383
>not wanting to live forever as an internet meme ghost
>>28238494
Oh.. wow. That is actually inspiring. Up to this point it has just been numb indifference to everything. That is truly the first thing in a long time that actually makes me happy. Maybe I should.
>>28238473
The Mcdonalds closest to me asks for your receipt at the second window. I guess this is why.
>feed my cat the choicest wet foods
>tell him he's fat after he's done eating
hee hee
>>28238808
>tell my cat all sorts of mean things
>she still loves me
truly best girl
>>28238840
>feed my dog morphine
>she dies
hospice care is truly difficult
>>28238909
dogs are shit anyways who cares
>>28238909
>woman comes into my veterinary office
>says her cat is really sick and needs medicine
>give her a lethal dose of morphine instead
>>28238452
Is that you discord guy
>professor gives me an extension on the paper I blew off
>still don't do it.
>>28239168
>completely skipped the final exam
>final grade drops to failing
>score 100 points in summer school
>tell my parents that I've gotten over my depression
>I actually think about suicide multiple times an hour every single day
>>28238953
The woman or the cat?
>>28239365
>The woman or the cat?
yes.
>be 10
>sister is talking to some of her friends outside
>that fucking annoying slut
>DEVILISH plan hits me
>sneak up behind her with garden hose
>pull down her scandalous hotpants and shove tip up her butthole
>turn on full blast
>she bends over and clutches her belly as it expands
>I pull out and run away as she moans and sprays everything with a torrent of shit water
>open random thread and find a random comment
>reply 'low quality bait' without even reading it
>leave
>grandma finds dirty crusty tshirt next to bed
>tell her i use it to wipe up any food/drink that might spill
>"okay anon ill wash it for you anyways"
>newly washed tshirt ready for weeks of semen showers
