Who /OCD/ here?
Other forms of metal illness are also welcome here, as long as you please take off your shoes. Do you guys take meds or anything?
>clean my room and the main washroom several times a day, can't even touch the other rooms in my house because my parents are semi-hoarders
>wash my hands probably 30-40 times a day
>have to wash the faucet's handles before washing my hands
>can't use my computer's mouse or keyboard and my playstation's controller without handling them with a tissue
>anything that has to do with numbers make me stressed when they're uneven, but 3 is okay, I end up doing basic math in my mind to somehow change it to an even number or 3
>have to have the labels of everything facing the right way, even when I'm in the supermarket or convenience store
Smoking weed basically shut it down, but at the same time it also made me neglect basic cleanliness and hygiene. My room became as cluttered as the rest of the house and I almost never brushed my teeth, and rarely washed myself. It's been a couple of years since I smoked and now all the symptoms are back and I say fuck it, at least they're useful.
>tfw have to organize my porno several times a day
>buy the same game on xbox and playstation
>>28202170
Digital or magazines/DVDs?
How do you organize them? By genre? Alphabetically? Breast size? I'm genuinely curious.
>>28202183
that reminds me of how I have three generations of movies (VHS, DVD, Blu Ray) that have been bothering me for that same reason.
>>28202297
Dump the vhs. Shit quality now.
>>28201972
>take pills every night
>every time I finish a box of pills I put it in the drawers
>over time I amass an entire collection
>mom calls police and tells them I tryed to kill myself as a scheme to get to my dad
>police finds empty pill boxes drawers
>almost get committed
Hey bro. What are the consequences (in your mind) if you don't do those things?
For example
>I snap my fingers 25 times at the bus stop
>Why?
>To keep the tigers away!
>>28201972
My mom has it and I might have mild/subclinical OCD. I have to "check" certain things and I can't get shock images out of my head
Post your drug cocktails everyone.
>abilify, lexapro, lithium, and wellbutrin
>>28202359
I've dumped so many already, I've kept the ones from good movies but first I have to get them on BluRay if not DVD.
I also have a few tapes of TV shows that I recorded like 15-20 years ago that no longer exist anywhere else I don't think, and some childhood family videos. I gotta get one of those things that converts VHS to digital.
>>28201972
>around age 7
>develop insomia
>not allowed to stay up last 9 PM
>nor had the lights on
>have to spend every night in the dark with. Othi g but thoughts
>one night the bed feels wrong
>I get up and make it again
>after am hour it feels wrong again so I make it again
>after another hour the same happens
>another your more and heart starts pounding really fast and hard
>got so bad I wod make the bed every twenty minutes
>then I got medication
I watched a doco on anorexic chicks the other day. They all had ocd and I realised I'd fuck them. Not because they were physically attractive, they wern't, but because of the way they talk and think.
Also I realised my ex had mildish ocd symptoms undiagnosed. It was great when she'd go to work on my dick. It was like making me cum, which was delibrately drawn out and took hours, was the only thing that mattered in her world, that was love to her. It was great for me too. She loved fucking too, but not as much as handjobs and blowjobs and ogling at my cumshots. Surprising considering how conservative and nun like she was.
>>28202416
>>28201972
For me at least it's just an overwhelming anxiety of fear of germs, everything has to be clean and germs must be avoided otherwise I'll catch ebola or the zika virus or the next big meme disease where all my fingernails fall off and my dick stops working.
Some people it's intrusive thoughts like "if I don't turn off/on the lights three times before leaving each room, there'll be an electrical fire overnight" or "if I don't check if the door is locked 6 times, someone will break in and rape my dog" stuff like that. Not so much for me.
I also believe that you are your environment. Which is why a lot of people who live in a shitty house/room/city/country also generally live shitty lives. Clutter and chaos in your surroundings = clutter and chaos in your mind.
>>28202618
Oh, I'm aware of the vicious cycle of OCD, I'm just curious as to what your motivation was.
>>28202428
Spooky, I also take abilify, lithium and wellbutrin, but I also take propranolol
OCD and bipolar type 1 here
>>28202682
My doctor prescribed me propanolol but i never ended up taking it. Does it help?
>>28202706
I'm on a very low dose just to control my tremor, and it works perfectly for that. Only side effect is it makes my nightmares a lot worse so I only take it before work or whenever else I need steady hands/to not vibrate.
>>28202734
I have awful tremors myself and the few timesi took propanolol it didn't seem to help.
Major depressive disorder here. Was misdiagnosed bipolar for a while.
Yup have schizophrenia here.
>paranoid schizophrenic
>look outside of my window when not occupied, thinking that every car is "slowing down" in front of my house
>incapable of living on my own
>symptoms are getting increasingly worse
>don't take meds cause I get screamed at by my voices if I do
>can't go to school since I can't pay attention when I have like 3 voices arguing with eachother
>talk to non existing people
>my caretaker is my girlfriend and feel horrible that I'm making her go threw this
Life sucks. Make it good by watching cute 2D girls though. And the neetbucks I get are quite nice as well.
>>28202673
psychologically speaking?
I guess I just want to bring some form of order to the world, even if it is something as simple turning all the coke bottles in a coke fridge so that their labels are all facing the right way, or aligning all the books in a library or bookstore.
Sort of like the opposite of the broken window theory.
For the most part though I just want to stay away from germs. Like I said I live in a relatively shitty house with my parents who are semi-hoarders, so it's always an uphill battle to clean anything or organize anything that is outside of my own room.
>>28202761
You may have needed a higher dose. I'm very sensitive to medication and a lightweight so I don't need much to get the desired effect.
Being misdiagnosed is hell. Glad you know what's actually up now.
Does anyone else get panic attacks with OCD?
My cheeks turn red and my chest tightens up. I can't go to a restaurant, or talk to a girl anymore.
I used to be able to do these things.
>>28202416
Is this OCD? I have been convinced ever since I was a child that if I didn't do certain things during daily routines some otherworldly entity would punish my by taking away something I love. Like I have to do body wash and then shampoo every time I shower or he will take someone. Or when I sit on a toilet I have to lift the seat first to check for spiders.
The thing is though I know it's impossible that this guy exists but I do it anyway to be safe.
>>28202821
Yeah, but I also had those and social/general anxiety before the OCD really manifested itself.
There's never two without three, as the French say, and it's likely that you have a separate form of anxiety as well as the anxiety that stems from OCD. Social anxiety, agoraphobia, etc.
Is there a commontrigger?Or is it just the fact of being out there?
>>28202873
That is exactly OCD, yeah.
Except for the spider/toilet thing, that's just common sense.
>>28202873
Depends on how it interferes with your life and if you're able dismiss these thoughts readily.
People with OCD can't. They're perfectly aware of how illogical their compulsions are, but they can't stop themselves from doing them
For example, thinking 'sinful thoughts', would 'cause them to happen'.
They know that by thinking of their friends being won't kill them, but it feels like it could, so they try hard not to think about that. Of course, OCD is intrusive thoughts as well, so they're also unable to stop these sinful thoughts.
Watch em go into almost autism fits because they can't stop thinking of something that, to them, has disaster written all over it.
Word to the wise: do not self diagnose. Ever.
>>28202821
God. My type of OCD is exclusively intrusive sadistic/homicidal/necrophilic thoughts and urges to act on them. As part of my therapy I went to a cemetery the other day, alone. I was anxious as fuck but doing okay until I heard a funeral going on just a little ways away. The people there could see me, and the casket was in plain sight. My anxiety went through the roof but I knew that I should stay for the sake of the exposure, so I walked just out of sight. Then they started playing taps and I completely lost my goddamn mind. Too fucking emotional, the urge to run over to the body was almost too fucking much. I walked back to my car as calmly as I could, then realized I had to drive past the funeral to get out of the cemetery. Sat in my car for about 20 minutes trying not to die. Finally got the nerve to slowly drive out of there, couldn't stop staring at the coffin, lucky I didn't swerve and hit anyone. Was a complete wreck the rest of the day.
When I'm in a situation where I could hurt or kill someone or have access to a corpse my chest gets so tight I can barely breathe. Heart races, get really warm, and I get an extremely intense headache. Sometimes there's really bad nausea too. It hurts to live, /r9k/.
>>28202788
I remember this story about an old time family who had a schizo kid and they locked him up in a dark attic and above some food there form time to time. He ended up hanging himself.
My dad's uncle had if so they sent him to an hospital and told everyone he died
>>28201972
DIRTY DIRT DIRT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pURSqkBTjFs
Does anyone else remember when they were kids how they would avoid stepping on the cracks/gaps on the sidewalks? First symptom I think.
>>28202961
My girlfriend wants me to see a doctor because I get really anxious I have a bad temper sometimes and I do things because I think an otherworldly entity wants to harm me. I don't think it's OCD because it only ever happens with silly shit and if I do it wrong I panic for the rest of the day but usually forget about it later. The fact that the toilet and shower are the only ones I can think of makes me think I probably don't experience it often enough to be serious.
I'd rather say I don't think have it than assume I do and be one of those people that pretends they have a ocd
>>28202975
I think that's more than OCD senpai, intrusive thoughts don't come with an urge really, that's why they're intrusive.
>>28203000
Yeah, schizos get a lot of abuse and are often misunderstood. It sucks
>>28203041
An other worldly entity?
If that's a serious fear of yours, go see a psychiatrist ASAP
>>28203005
I want Linda to obsessively clean my dick until it hurts
>>28203005
You know I can't tell if this is some sorth of torture or the best thing you could ever give thes people
>>28203068
It is. Is that really bad? I know he's not really but I'm still so scared. I don't want him to hurt my family
>>28203088
>mfw
she'll give it a bloody good hoover she will
I like the fat girl who snorts two bottles of bleach a day
>>28203155
It's a form of exposure therapy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exposure_therapy
At least for the OCD people, not so much the hoarders. I imagine that most of the hoarders on that show immediately fill their houses up with shit within a year.
Also I imagine that it can go either way with the OCD people, it's supposed to calm down their cleaning and organizing impulses, but it might just reinforce their idea that the outside world is a chaotic toilet.
>>28203043
I've been misdiagnosed with antisocial personality disorder before, but it's definitely OCD. Four therapists now have given me the same diagnosis, and I'm currently seeing a specialist who completely, 100% believes that it's the case. The urges are the result of me suppressing the compulsion. If I had no self control/when I'm in a manic episode, it's too hard for me to hold it in and I have to act on the thoughts to make them go away. The therapy I'm in is conditioning me to get the thoughts but not act on them, without resorting to rituals to keep myself in check.
Short story time
When I was a kid my kitchen had white tiles shaped like this. Me and my dad used to play chess together and i always thought the shape of the knight's movement was interessting. So whenever I walked on the tiles I would always walk using the knight's movement, even if it meant moving backwards from my destination.
The picture is an example of how I might move to get somewhere. I always had to move 1 or 2 spaces, then either 1 or 2 spaces (opposite of the precedent) perpendicular to the space I rotate around. Same shape every time.
It was always a fun game to me, sometimes I would make different shapes using the pattern. Don't think it was OCD but I did it every time, eventually just stopped after i got older and decided it was weird
>>28203264
well as long as you're getting help senpai it's all good. I'm thinking about getting meds myself. There is medicinal marijuana but ironically that had more undesirable side effects than I wanted.
>>28203175
Should I really be worried? I'm scared.
>>28203268
yeah OCD isn't something that you can stop when you think it's weird, but that's pretty neat that you did that, I have my own set of rituals when it comes to walking on tiles.
>no cracks
>even number or multiples of three
>straight line, if I change "lanes" it's also even/three
>>28203331
Thanks. Exposure and response prevention therapy is a bitch, but it's rate of effectiveness is so high, and I'm trying so hard, I'm sure it will work. At least, I really fucking hope it does.
Oddly enough, weed only makes me more paranoid and anxious. Self-medicating isn't always the best idea.
>>28201972
Who here /pure O/?
>everytime I go outside, I obsessively look at fixed positions to avoid looking at girls' asses
>when relatives offer me their babies to hold, have intense and vivid visions of dropping them to their deaths
>whenever see little kids at church, immediately think about pedophiles, even though I am not one
>whenever I see a person with a cute gf or wife I immediately start thinking they are a cuck even when that is extremely unlikely
>whenever around my hot cousin get thoughts of raping her
>incestuous thoughts about mother all the time
>whenever around knives, I have thoughts of stabbing people around me with them
>>28203388
It was weird because I had to think every time to not do it, I had to actually try to stop. I know it wasn't OCD but can you develope it by doing a ritual over and over? Like if I never stopped?
>>28203453
This is strange, it's like our own minds are against us. Like we know that they are insane thoughts which is exactly why we think them.
>>28203510
Yeah, it is kind of a vicious cycle, because when you are just Pure O, you do mental rituals to try to prevent the thoughts, but because it is with the intent of getting rid of the thoughts, it causes you to have them.
>can't step on cracks or gaps
>when driving, I navigate the splotches on the windshield in between things by changing my perspective
>pluck hair from my face and neck obsessively until it leaves horrible sores
>constant feeling that all of my actions online are being monitored and recorded and I'm being mocked by a group of individuals dedicated to following my actions
Is this OCD?
>>28203453
I feel you man, worst part is that you are now thinking of having sex with your mom
>>28203614
That last one reminds me of my Schizotypy. I am the Pure O anon above, and a lot times, OCD and Schizotypal Personality Disorder are co-morbid, and that last one reminds me of things I do, like believing that the number 117 is stalking me, or that there is an evil presence constantly watching me.
>>28203635
Please don't remind me of that.
>>28203614
There is more to ocd than just that kind of thing. What do you think would happen if you didn't avoid those things? How would you feel if you deliberately did them instead?
>>28203863
I don't have an idea of what would happen if I don't do them. All I know is that not doing them is very unsettling and gives me nervous energy.
As for the plucking hairs, I pretty much can't control it. Once I feel a hair that I instinctively know needs to be plucked, it has to go, no matter what. The worst then is when I feel the tiny nub of a hair that has just barely come out of my skin. I will coax at that hair with my fingernails for hours until I finally get it. Many times I will develop a sore that bleeds. If I really can't get it, I'll wait a day for it to grow out more then tackle it. The feeling of catharsis when I pluck a difficult hair is indescribable. Then I always take the plucked hair and roll it against my lips, not eating it but just feeling it's form against my lips.
Bumping this thread
OCD blox
One more bump, I can't believe there are only 15 people on /r9k/ right now with a mental illness
>>28201972
>OCD
>metal illness
>>28201972
sorry to hear that OP. how old are you? i had several phases in my life where i acted like a crazy person when it comes to hygiene due to OCD but somehow i think i grew out of it (mid 20s now)
my dad has it too and he does the whole washing the sink before washing his hands thing as well
I hope you can conquer it and live a better life !
>>28203484
that would be a habit
ocd is doing something to sooth intrusive thoughts
>>28203453
I have ADHD and schizoaffective bipolar type (mild combo of schizophrenia and bipolar if you didn't catch on) and I have every one of those, though in slightly different contexts. Got on meds just a couple months ago, went through a couple before I got ones that worked. Now that I think about it the thoughts are a lot less intrusive and ritualistic than they used to be, so that's good I guess.
>>28206922
Oh, meds cocktail is lithium, latuda, and wellbutrin for the ADD.
Also, I score really high on psychopathy inventories and have some crazy violent sonsabitches in the non-schizo side of my family but I can't tell if it's just a delusion or not.
Whenever I stand behind people or I'm around people and the attention is drawn elsewhere,I always have visions in my mind of splitting their head (the person infront of me, or whoever is speaking) with an axe. If they're facing me it's a spear. Also sometimes when I see perfectly concrete surfaces I get visions of breaking them. Sometimes when I'm in a car I imagine theres a line extending from the car and cutting down everything from the base. I'm 22 now and this hasn't stopped. It's very strange.
>>28201972
>wash my hands probably 30-40 times per day
>probably
Do you even know what OCD is?
>>28202961
Different anon here
Why not self diagnose? I'm certain I have OCD and am avoiding a diagnosis because I don't want to get roped into taking SSRIs.
>tfw have OCD and it was seriously fucking with my life
>started going to a therapist because I didn't want to take pills, I've heard too many horror stories about side effects and withdrawals and shit no fucking thanks
>go every week for the last six months
>tfw it's so much better now, there's so much shit I had to do before that I'm able to ignore now or let pass
>tfw getting more mentally healthy every day
Feels fucking great famalams, therapy is mostly a meme but for some people it fucking works so don't hesitate to try it if you're desperate for relief
Whatever i have, its painful
How can i stop this, i need constantly to check many things. When im going somewhere, i need to check several times i have everything i need, just to check it again 30 seconds later. I check everything too many times
