Hypothetically, if you were forced to blow a guy how fast could you make him cum?
extremely quickly. i posit myself to be incredibly hypothetically skilled in the art of fellatio as well as extensively knowledgeable on the penis
I'm apparently really good at head even though I hate giving it. Probably a minute.
>>28154674
I'd make him when he wanted to
>>28154702
>I hate giving it
selfish cunt/fag
I gave a guy a bj once. I'd say it lasted like 5 minutes. I'm straight though
>>28154674
Reasonably fast. We all know what we like. So many women in porn just barely suck the first few inches.
>>28154735
>straight
good meme
>>28154674
>tfw a woman will never do this to me
>>28154674
image sauce op? Please.
>>28154738
That's on purpose so you can see the dick. Only fags in denial watch BJ porn.
>>28154674
I don't know. I'd need to suck a few dicks to gauge my abilities.
>>28154807
Any girl that licks a man's ass is a man's ass. It's fuking disgusting. If you want a girl to do this to you, you're evil and I wouldn't hesitate to put you in the ICU if we met
First off, getting your ass licked is heaven. Secondly, i could probably get a guy to blow his load in under 3 mins. I've given enough pointers to be able to learn from others mistakes.
>>28155032
Toastie roastie detected, take a hike.
>>28155032
Dont knock it till you try it. It feels like heaven is up against your anus.
>>28154762
Ok, maybe I was bicurious
>>28155032
>and I wouldn't hesitate to put you in the ICU if we met
come get some
>>28154674
>that image
>licking ass
>being that much of a disgusting whore
Two years ago I found out my ex-best friend did this to a girl.
I punched him until he was unconscious. He never saw it coming either. Felt good
>>28155115
Most people are i think...
One one hand, I've enough a ton of blowjob porn (straight and gay) to learn some good moves. On the other hand I've never actually practiced or given one and have a small mouth. Probably 5 minutes.
>>28155127
Fucking whiteknight faggot rofl
>>28155141
Just wrap your lips around your teeth and work the shaft with your hand. It cant be that hard.
>>28155113
>"durrr jsut try it"
>I like women
>I like the female form
>so lemme just cover it in my shit
I think I know what is fucking gross and what isn't. You should be licking HER ass if anything.
You're evil. You should be shot you disgusting monster.
not much if its my first time
i would gag, then vomit from the smell before commencement
i guess it works as lubricant if hes cool with that
then my teeth would ceertainly cut him
how wide? tongue where?
then he hits the back of my throat and i vomit again
if hes into that he might cum instantly, some dudes are like that
>>28154674
I would bite his dick off and make him a girl so he knows how it feels to be the wrong sex then he would be my maid who would do my taxes for me and she could also be my pegboi
>>28155167
Ive done it and had it done. Im definitely bi so its not all that weird. It releases a lot of tension. You would like it. You seem pretty anal retentive yourself.
>>28155127
licking girl ass is different than licking man ass
girl asshole can be cute and clean
Man asshole is a goddam mess
Anyone who would lick a man's asshole is a fucking creature
>>28155179
Just hold your thumb in your fist. Its a pressure point that prevents gag reflex.
>>28155206
Especially if its nice and bleached.
>>28155113
I'm gonna back him up, even if it does feel good it is still fucking gross to do it to a guy. Call me a white knight but it undermines her body and makes her essentially worthless. Way I see it, I don't want to damage the goods.
Imagine a girl licking some hairy Chad's nasty, shitty bum then you ask her out that day and make out with her later. That doesn't bode so well for you. Way I see it if you like doing shit like thissee what i did?you're actually a queer
Don't get me wrong you can do what you want to womens' bodies, just keep your refuse away from me and others thx
i like this new 'beating up men for getting rimmed' meme
>>28155216
ill remember when the time comes mr shekelstein
>>28155206
Why did you type that when I agree with you? I didn't say anything counter to what you did
>>28155167
>so lemme just cover it in my shit
You're fucking disgusting if your anal rim is constantly covered in shit.
>I think I know what is fucking gross and what isn't. You should be licking HER ass if anything.
So covering yourself in shit is fine? Typical beta whiteknight talk.
>You're evil. You should be shot you disgusting monster.
Internet tough guy detected.
>>28155247
It makes sense for me to like it i guess. Im into degrading women in bed so...idk. if you clean extra carefully its all good. I take like 4 baby wipes to my ass after a shower to get it all squeaky clean.
>>28155193
im bi too, and no i wouldnt like it because the person doing it would be worthless to be after. You're ruining their body, and unlike you i like fucking more than once thx
>>28155263
Im not jewish. I hate jews unironically.
>>28155294
>Im into degrading women in bed
Then I believe you are actually a fag who likes men
domination =/= degradation
>>28155206
Fucking lol you are a delusional virgin dude. Anyone of any gender's ass is clean if they wash it. Anyone of any gender's ass is dirty if they don't. Stop putting women's' asses on a pedastal.
>>28155307
How are you ruining their body?
>>28155283
your ass is still a man ass and it's fucking gross. Kill yourself dude, really
>>28155340
I do like men too. Slapping a woman around is great if its consensual and is into it. A lot of them are into it. You would be surprised.
>>28155357
if I licked a person's ass, I could not in good conscience kiss another dude or girl. Why would it? I licked someone's shit. Fuck you. How would you feel if someone who licked ass kissed you?
Unless you're a beta you wouldnt be cool with it. It's common for chad to make some girl lick his nasty asshole and then laugh at guys who make out with her. It DOES matter.
Fucking degenerates. Can't even date someone who wasn't a toilet anymore
>>28155365
Ironically all the anal retentive people who would like it are too prudish to try it.
>>28155365
No, it's not, because I wash it with soap. You're just a beta faggot with an irrational hang-up.
>>28155400
Once again, you are fucking disgusting if your ass is constantly caked with shit.
>>28155382
>A lot of them are into it. You would be surprised
Quit talking like you know what anons want
>>28155400
Why would shit be on their ass? Why would you not clean beforehand? You arent makinf sense anon.
If i'm being serious. Probably 3-5 minutes. I'd spit on the knob and lick the tip and balls while working the shaft good. I might work a finger up his dirty man ass to speed up the process.
>>28155423
>if you dont like making women do nasty things jsut so you can get off, you're beta
>>28155429
Two of my past gf have been way into it. I even got my current prudish hijabi wearing gf to beg to be spanked and slapped around. Actually bruised her tit today. Feel kinda bad about that.
>>28155341
have you ever seen raw man ass
I pity the tongue that hacks through that much asshair
>>28155463
Kek. Well put.
>>28155480
Reminds me of that one pic/article where the guy nairs his ass.
>>28155463
>being so jealous of other men dominating their women that he feels the need to physically lash out
>not being a whiteknight
pick 1
>>28155480
I wouldn't want to lick a hairy, unwashed, ass of any gender.
>>28155423
>Once again, you are fucking disgusting if your ass is constantly caked with shit.
I'm with him, the ass is never clean especially a man's ass. You're kind of nasty for making women lick it buddy
>hangup
So if a man doesn't want to date a girl because she let some guy pee on her or take a shit on her chest then he's somehow being irrational? Men's prerogatives are somehow less valid or important than her sluttiness or your desire to make women do unmentionable things?
It's nasty dude, I don't care how you spin it. You're making her lick a place where your literal shit comes from and nothing with change that. Stop trying to spindoctor it like it isn't gross or degenerate.
No amount of soap and washing will change it. It is what it is and I don't fault anyone for being outraged at guys liek you, because nowadays you not only have to date an ex-s=slut if you want a gf, but now you're probably going to get a girl who's licked a man's shitter and somehow it's too much to ask for a girl who didn't.
>>28155586
>I'm with him, the ass is never clean especially a man's ass. You're kind of nasty for making women lick it buddy
No, what I'm saying is that he has poor hygiene if he doesn't know how to clean his rear. This is like saying blowjobs are inherently disgusting because unclean dicks have smegma.
>So if a man doesn't want to date a girl because she let some guy pee on her or take a shit on her chest then he's somehow being irrational? Men's prerogatives are somehow less valid or important than her sluttiness or your desire to make women do unmentionable things?
I never said that. I wouldn't want to date a girl who's licked another guy, sucked off another guy, or fucked another guy.
>>28155270
because
>Two years ago I found out my ex-best friend did this to a girl.
is ambiguous. could be interpreted as either "licked a girl's ass" or "had a girl lick his ass"
either way though, my post doesn't disagree with yours.
I do think you're a yuge faggot tho
>>28155586
Assholes can be very clean. I clean my girls myself in the shower before i do it. Not nearly as gross as you think.
>>28155627
Good luck getting a girl buddy.
>>28155642
It's still your shitter
>>28155627
>I wouldn't want to date a girl who's licked another guy's ass
So why do you produce women that have? Do you not have empathy? Are you evil?
>>28155627
Just because you have high standards doesnt make you less of a prude or a better person. Kys.
>>28155665
Good luck to yourself, it sounds like your ass is covered in shit 24/7.
>>28155206
Why would you not want to feel pleasure? Faggot.
>>28155691
Yea. It is. And it feels amazing and there is nothing wrong if its clean. Anal is great too. Are you against anal?
>>28155586
This. Men are sweaty, hairy, smelly, nasty in general unless they make a real effort not to be which we can safely say is not most Chads.
Imagining a cute, clean girl do this is quite disturbing to say the least.
>>28155696
Nope. Probably cleaner than you desu cause i have to take hygene more seriously.
>>28155696
It is and i have hemorrhoids, i couldn't look at the person who licked the entrance to my shit pipe
>>28154674
You have to be in sync with the dick.
Instead of looking at the dick as an obstacle, you must be one with it.
As you apply your mouth on the tip of the phallus you have reached the singularity.
Cough up a nice warm spit and gently glaze the shaft with your tongue.
Constantly lubricate the dick with your spit as you are sucking for dear life.
Show some passion with your eyes, make eye contact with the suckee as you are the sucker.
And if you did a good job you will be rewarded with cummies as a token.
>>28155537
>I wouldn't want to lick a hairy, unwashed, ass of any gender.
men are more likely to be hairy and unwashed, is the point. It's not some inherent grossness in men, like other retards itt seem to think.
>>28155751
I agree. Ass is ass. Genitals and chromosomes are out of the picture.
>>28155745
Dont forget to flick the tounge.
>>28155751
Men are inherently gross
>tfw will never have a robot friend where we blow each other and try to make the other one cum first
>>28155826
Ill blow you anon.
>>28155709
Im against you ruining women with your shitpipe and think you should be shot
>>28155819
I mean...im not knock dead sexy but i aint gross.
>>28155837
I wish that were a possibility. Even on the minuscule chance that someone would do that irl, they'd never be near me.
>>28155846
Once again, how is it ruining her? You have no logical argument. Its all emotional for you. Get over yourself.
>making a cute girl lick your nasty hairy ass
Everyone ITT should be killed
I thought Chad was evil but now he seems kinda like a bro compared to you lot
>>28155885
Why you say that fellow bot?
>>28155819
no, we're statistically gross
no need to apologize 4 yr mistake
it's ok, i understand
women are stupid
>>28155916
I shave so...
>>28155922
Because it's true? Robots, especially myself, aren't desired and even on the off chance that I was that person is highly unlikely to be in the same location as me in order to meet up.
>>28155950
>ass stubble
u madman
>>28155948
>statistically gross
Kek
>>28155971
Well id give it a chance if it makes you feel any better.
>>28155975
I would nair but it burns
>>28156000
I wish it did, but it only seems like another lie on the internet. The only way it would help is if it would actually happen.
>>28156040
Put up a non face pic and i would tell you if its a lie or not. Where u live btw? Im on the east coast.
>>28156040
consider the whore
I'd tell him to fuck my throat like this. No guy could last that long doing this
>>28156071
Body is okay. I'm thin with an average dick. The face is the problem.
>>28156076
What?
>>28156083
that girl needs to be shot
>>28156127
Well you are my body type. Face is whatever if your body is decent.
>>28154735
You are alot of things friend, but not straight.
>>28156127
whores
did you know about them
you can give them money
and they'll suck your dick
>>28156127
Well you are my body type. Face is whatever if your body is decent. Desu f
>>28156154
Most people won't do anything unless your face is good. I'm in the midwest anyways so there's still too much distance.
>>28156179
Prostitutes are illegal. I'd rather not risk going to jail to get a blow job with a condom and feel nothing.
>>28155950
that doesnt mean shit. You're a guy. Girls shouldnt lick guy asses.
>>28156244
it's not illegal to go to australia
keep on looking for excuses and you'll keep on finding them
to make something happen you have to be looking for ways to make it happen. not looking for excuses
>>28156276
Says who? Still dont have a good argument.
>>28156244
Well the dream was nice while it lasted.
Receiving a rimjob is devilish as fuck. I once had a clubslut lick that spot between the balls and the asshole while giving me a handjob. Made me bust so fast. Saw her on facebook get in a relationship with some beta fag a few weeks later. Little does he know where that mouth has been
>>28156342
women are pretty, men are not. Making them lick your man bum destroyes, taints, and undermines said beauty. Even if they're sluts and stupid, that doesnt change that a guy after you isnt gonna have fun fucking her tits when he knows she licked your disgusting ass, in fact if he does find out he's liable to put you in a coma like that jarhead did to that faggot in 2012. He'd be justified too.
In short, you're a demon.
>>28156371
I'm confused as to why you can't realize your dream. It's so much easier to suck someone's dick than it is to get yours sucked.
>>28156388
do you believe in karma? Because if so you'll have a broken nose soon
>>28156276
>shouldnt
lol
prepare your anus 4 the education ray
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eT7yXG2aJdY
>>28156394
I dont even know where to begin. Still all emotional arguments with no solid logic.
>>28156402
True.
>>28156388
Honestly if I were that guy I'd jsut curb stomp you. Why beat the shit out of the slut? She didnt ask to do it
>>28156394
So women shouldnt lick asshole cause it hurts your feelings?
>>28156439
But she did do it...
>>28156394
you know like 90% of babies get shit on by their mothers on the way out.
Everybody is touching poop almost all the time
you are a vagina
>>28156394
>in fact if he does find out he's liable to put you in a coma like that jarhead did to that faggot in 2012.
Story behind this?
>>28156498
Quite pooper pained indeed.
>>28156410
How is he reasponsible for her actions?
>>28156410
Karma is just some Indian bullshit. Ain't no one gonna find out about her asslicking besides me and her.
>>28156439
She did it without even asking, I'm definitely gonna try and get more whores to do it though. It feels great.
>>28156536
Taint licking is underrated. Stimulates the pelvic floor muscle.
>>28156429
Not him, but it's not that they shouldn't perse, it's just that many many men who have self-respect will find her to be useless if they find out she has. Mostly because kissing her would be like kissing his ass, and if kissing her is like kissing that guy's ass then you're essentially going to assume she's not even a woman anymore subconsciously.
Why? Well you're associate her with a guy's nether regions and you aren't even attracted to guys. Essentially she destroyed her femininity to merge herself and make herself your ass.
It's basically marking your territory, but since you aren't staying with that girl or marrying her, she'll end up kissing countless other men with the mouth she used to lick your ass which is kind of a dick move on your part t b h
It may not make sense to you, but this is the thought process. Is it rational? Not entirely, but...
1. there WILL objectively be cellular excrement-related residue on your ass no matter how much you clean it
2. There WILL be residue on her face/tongue from what she did with your bunghole for about 3 months after (this is the time it takes for skin cell on face and tongue to replace themselves completely)
Just giving my two cent. My personal opinion is kind of in line with this, it's pretty nasty to lick a guy's ass but a girl's ass is fine in my opinion.
>>28156560
>tfw no cumdumpster to worship my grundle
>>28156536
you better hope i dont find out if i get any of your refuse then
>>28156621
>worship
die now
>>28156598
I understand that but it isnt a rational argument. I wash my asshole every morning. Is it bad for me to shake hands now? There is shit residue everywhere including your toothbrush. Its just a fact of life. In fact a freshly cleaned asshole is much cleaner than your toothbrush.
>>28156640
if you're that fucked up about it you should never kiss any girl ever. Women lie like they breathe, anon. You can't trust them just because they say they're pure.
>>28156654
calm down mohammed
>>28156680
>talking about pure and criticizes others when you're an evil eunch monster cunt who makes women do disgusting things so he can get off
women are subhuman, but even im not going to ruin my own goods
>>28156680
True. Humans do nasty shit if it feels good or is fun and women do lie about past sexual experiences due to societal slut shaming.
Holy shit I didn't know Chads like having their pooters licked so much. If this many men are doing this to women I'll just not get a gf. Not worth it. Don't want your used toilets.
>>28156715
All this talk of ruining. How does it ruin anything? Does it make an indellible mark on your soul the second mouth meets anus?
>>28156738
If it makes you feel better I just like a finger or two up there. I only got licked once and it just felt weird.
>>28156738
More for me.
Better get a new toothbrush every day if you dont like it.
>>28154674
i really don't know abou thtis image baceaek I on't agrhre with he
>>28156777
Getting a finger up there is breddy gud too. If god didnt want that to happen why did he put my g spot up there?
>>28156787
i like how you're so smug here but if you said this to me irl you'd probably be bleeding on the ground. Keep your smartass comments to yourself buddy
>>28156830
Lol ok internet badass.
>>28156747
when i see a pretty woman on the street and go talk to her, the last thing I want to know is that she licked your disgusting ass buddy.
>>28156715
hey don't freak out just cause I showed you the flaw in your reasoning. it doesn't do well to ignore reality
in order to have what you want you'd need to raise a girl like veal
>>28156850
Then dont think about it buddy.
>>28156850
Also my ass is squeaky clean. I take pride in my asshole. You should be honored to put your lips where my ass once touched.
>>28156850
you are a chiId
>>28156738
/k/ here, I used to be liek you until I found out half these guys are lying anyways. Let's be honest, ass licking is not really common at all. You are on 4chan with a bunch of degenerates, and this batch is a bunch of Chads.
Now if these guys get to have lots of sex, the fuck do you think they're going to do? Considering most guys on here hate women or at least see them for the sluts they are, of course they're going to do disgusting things to them.
Most normalfags do doggy style and some slapping/choking and call it a day. If you get a gf, you're probably fine.
I know practicing for girls is a meme but I'm not the only one who did it for real am I? The hardest part was making sure you get a turn to be the man and try to last. They always say you you suck first then me. It sounds like a deal to go ahead and get it over with but like half the time he'd reneg.
>>28156898
>having preferences different to me is childish
>stop liking what i like
You sound liek your'e 12 trying to be 16
>>28156918
Having stupid preferences makes you child-like
>>28156915
Gotta 69. Its distracting but fair.
>>28156918
wow you're so asspained you can barely typego me
>>28156954
Its amazing how so vehement these guys are.
I know how to find the prostate and jack/suck at the same time.
Though, this is all in theoryexcept for the prostate thingso it might take a little while.
A safe guess? I guess under 15 minutes?I bet I could do better if I had someone to practice on
>>28156997
Ive always gotten off quicker when there is a lot enthusiasm. Skill is nice but i prefer sloppy and enthusiastic any day...so long as there is no scraping...
>>28157027
I can totally do enthusiastic with no scraping.
Dunno how deep I could get it, but I can ake up for it with a hand on the shaft under my lips all lubed up with spit.
A shower might be necessary afterwards, but that's my usual MO.
>>28157071
Honestly just sucking the head does it just fine for me. Deep throating can be nice but i feel its more about the act itself than any pleasure being derived from it.
>>28154674
I can turn off my gag reflex so probably pretty fast.
no homo tho
>>28156799
when tripfags take heroin
>>28157126
I was thinking the same thing. Drunk or high.
>>28157104
I wonder if that holds for many guys... Wow, if it does then I bet I could be pretty good at sucking c*ck <3
>>28157148
I cant speak for all guys but a hand on the shaft and mouth on the head is pretty standard for making me blow in under 5. Deep throating is just showing off imo
>>28157148
Sucking the glans with some good hand action makes me blow faster than mouth alone, even when she can go deep. The trick is to glide the hand over the skin as tight as possible, but not so much you're holding the skin still and making the skin go up and down. For some reason girls have a hard time understanding the huge distinction.
>>28157168
Good to know! Thanks for letting me know friend!mayhaps we shall meet irl and I can show you my techniquejk we will probably never meet ever but if you were here now I would <3
>>28157260
it really is a fine balance with the grip. also some ball licking never hurt. some guys are impartial to that tho.
>>28157272
maybe one day.
>>28157260
>>28157307
I guess it makes sense that females just don't get it. They don't have one.
you must ==firmly grasp it== but don't just pull the skin around.
Any other tips?
>>28157470
To be honest I never got the ball licking/sucking thing
It makes me so uncomfortable when anyone does that. I don't understand why but it just kills my boner immediately.
>>28157470
dont be afraid to get spit everywhere and rub it on your face. that goes with the enthusiasm part.
>>28157496
I like it but everyone is different.
>>28157148
... Kik me QT boys
jizoclizo
>>28157528
Sloppy bowjobs = best blowjobs?
>>28157581
In my opinion...yes. But its not everyones cup of tea. It just gets me off when someone appears cock drunk all over me.
>when you realize everyone in this thread is male
>>28157711
well yea. men love talking about their junk.
>>28157711
>>28157752
Just giving each other sexy bj tips <3
What's wrong with that?also how do you know we're all male? Is you alphabets?
>>28157901
if this was a eating pussy thread a few females might chime in. If i can improve at least one blowjob then my job here is done.
>>28157901
>also how do you know we're all male
because women dont talk about or care how well they suck cock so it's either men or trannies
>>28157965
Alright, I'll give you that one.
I just want to make sure anyone here gives the very best head that they can.
>>28157934
Valid point. Any tips on either?
>>28157965
mostly true with a few exeptions. some sluts love talking about it. nothing wrong with sluts tho imo
>>28158009
my advice is posted above about being enthusiastic and not deepthroating. eating pussy is like...kinda the same. you just suck the clit, lick it while you are sucking on it, then just get sloppy and messy with it.
>>28157934
Ew, eating pussy is beta and gay though
>>28158046
I love it. mostly cause of the girls reaction. i wouldnt call it beta.
>>28158033
I'm not terrible at eating pussy. Tbh it's my favourite thing about sex.
I love the smell and the taste of a clean, horny woman.
>>28158091
ikr? it has to be clean tho. i can work through a bit of fishy taste but it isnt very nice. I had an ex that tasted like fresh tomatoes.
>>28158126
That sounds pretty nice anon!I love tomatoes
>>28158202
it mostly tastes like nothing after they get all juicy.
yea i miss her...
>>28158078
of course you wouldnt. but she would
>>28158394
she better not. I slap her around a bit after. she is super sub.
>>28155032
come at me, whore.
my ex gf gladly licked out my ass on multiple occasions, AND I told EVERYONE and then EVERYONE believed SHE had the butt fetish and not me.
LOL!
BTFO
T
F
O
>>28159179
this thread is still going? I hope more butthurt brings it back to life.
>ITT sexually repressed beta's crying at the thought of their crush rimming chad out
Hahaha pathetic.Your projection is hilarious
>>28159358
its sad really. I imagine they are the types who prefer virgins and think that its somehow important and makes them better people.
>>28155193
ay man why you gotta do him like that
