Mental Illness/Health Thread
Been awhile since we had one of these.
How are you guys holding up? Personally, I am one snap away from succumbing to the abyss. I think I'm going to kill myself sometime this summer.
>>28141745
I feel like everyone but myself is crazy, like I understand things about the existence that others animalistically delude themselves into not believing. I understand people see me as mentally ill but I think there's realism and enlightenment in what people call mental illness.
We have multiple emotions but one is not worse than any other. We feel happiness and it means nothing. We feel pain and it means nothing. We feel hunger and it means nothing. We die and it means nothing.
I want to starve myself to death just to prove myself right even though I can feel the underlying primitive feelings trying to stop me.
>>28141827
I know that feel.
Depression feels like a veil has been lifted out from in front of your eyes sometimes. It definitely turned me into some type of nihilist, and not the edgelord kind.
bumping. Where all my bipolars and schizos at?
>>28142586
bipolar type 1 and OCD here, working on therapy homework
>have a text file sitting on my desktop describing my most intimate and explicit intrusive thoughts in detail
>have four solid hours of it recorded on my phone as well
>mfw imagining some normalshit getting their hands on it
I'm diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety, and I have some schizoid, avoidant, and dependent traits. But part of me wonders if I have some kind of vaguely bipolar like but milder disorder that's just heavily medicated and self medicated. Without drugs I'd probably end up staying awake for multiple days at a time sometimes, but I haven't not taken drugs to sleep in literally years.
I experience some weird states of agitation and excitation that no one in the medical field I interacted with was able to easily explain. I really don't know what's going on in my brain, but I'm pretty sure there's something beyond depression and anxiety, it's just some weird subtle shit, and it's very hard to tell what's just there, what's a result of the drugs, what's covered up by the drugs, etc.
Severe Bipolar Disorder, depressive phase has been hitting me extra hard lately.
>>28142801
>>28142811
bros how do you handle depressive episodes? crawl into bed and sleep it off? distract yourself with vidya and anime? drink until you pass out? when my depressive episodes hit I lose all motivation to do anything and I'm looking for some way to do better
>>28143263
Most of my life is in a depressive state, so I just self medicate my way out of it, or if that isn't possible, practice escapism in any way possible.
>>28143263
I just drown it out by playing vidya and listening to podcasts when I'm conscious. Of course depressive episodes last 29 days and I get manic episode once a month that lasts for a day, so I guess that describes all my time. If you get really lucky, you can stay up all night, drink a lot of coffee/take some kind of stimulant, and you might trigger a manic phase. That's what I've been attempting for the last week or so, but it hasn't come yet.
>>28143286
Did you really get a bipolar diagnosis with manic episodes that only last a day? How extreme are your manic episodes?
>>28142586
>>28142744
Also bipolar type 1 reporting in. Having a depressive episode and haven't showered in a week, oh how I regret waking up today.
Mentall illness doesnt exist and you should all kill yourselves
>>28141827
Gonna take at least 8 years to starve your fatass lmfao
>>28143306
Well it varies month to month, I was just talking about my last month. In the past I've had 1 week manic episodes, then 1 week depressive, then a few days manic, and so on. Just this last month has been hitting me hard depressive.
My mania is very severe- if I have it, I will not sleep, I know I am the best looking person around, I am incredibly intelligent, articulate, my thoughts are faster than anyone has ever experienced, I am the happiest man on Earth, everything good will happen to me, and so on. Then depressive episodes are just as powerful, but on the opposite end. I'm on 400 mg of seroquel but it only dulls the changes a bit.
>>28143343
Working on it, thanks though.
>>28142586
Schizophrenic here. Im going off medication right now. Strange things are starting to happen.
>>28141745
went for three days with around 4 hours of terrible sleep last week. my mind was total shit at the end; I feel better now.
I've been up for around 24 hours at this point
>>28141827
if you're going to willingly try starvation for some reason make sure you drink water. I went a little under 2 days without water once and I got really sick when I drank water again (started gagging, almost threw up).
>>28143372
See I get phases where I get symptoms which are very similar to manic ones, but they're so fucking short, so I obviously can't claim I'm bipolar. I don't know what the hell I am though. I sometimes get some extreme energy and/or agitation, or sometimes I just get these overpowering rushes of euphoria which are on par with a meth rush (speaking from experience, not hypothetically). I don't know what that means. All this morning I've been shaking my legs constantly and sometimes moving my whole body flailing around like a retard, and at the last pinnacle of that I started feeling like I was going to have a seizure and now I'm kind of afraid that will happen, even if it probably won't (and yes, I have had seizures in the past, so I know what they feel like more or less as well as anyone can).
My brain is weird.
schizo and psyco here. I hate the feeling of killing myself but oh well. plus I least I know I'm not alone in the feeling.
>>28143438
Odd
Not sure what that could be, doesn't sound like bipolar though. I've heard really severe anxiety can cause feelings similar to mania for a short period of time, but the rest I can't explain.
>>28143422
>went for three days with around 4 hours of terrible sleep last week
Is that really something worth posting about?
I'm at 3 days without anything so far and feel fine
>>28143459
Yeah, I know it isn't bipolar, it's just the closest thing I can compare it too. I don't know what it is.
>>28143461
I always find it weird when people start talking about how extreme the effects they get from short periods of being awake. I know it varies from person to person, but it's just so weird. I went on a 4 day meth binge and got at most like 3 hours of sleep over that period, and I was totally fine. No psychosis or anything, not even close to that kind of state.
I don't feel anything. I am neither happy nor sad. I go the bed every evening and wake up every morning. Everything in between just rushes by me, colours aren't vibrant, I don't enjoy any of my hobbies anymore. I'm tired all the time. I hate hanging out with my friends.
I dropped out of university because I couldn't stand having to leave my room 4 days a week, I was so incredibly tired.
I just wish I was able to feel anything - sadness, anger, happiness, jealousy. Give me literally anything at all to feel please. I want to cry and laugh. The only reason I don't kill myself is because maybe it will get better. Maybe one day I will be able to see real colours again, be able to laugh when I'm happy and cry when I'm sad. Maybe one day
>>28143461
I have constant obsessive thoughts so lack of sleep impacts me heavily. unlike most people on here probably I generally have manic thoughts instead of depressive or bipolar.
finally starting counseling/therapy soon, hoping i can somehow get some meds to help with depression and alcoholism
lately go from ready to take on the world and fix everything in my shitty life to not giving a shit and wanting to drink myself to homelessness, all within the same day
>>28141745
I got ADHD from bad head trauma as a kid. Never took the meds for it though, both me and my parents though that drugs won't help.
I'm much better now but I tanked my GPA in high-school . I don't feel bad though, this is the only me that I know, i don't think that I want to change.
I treat myself with art, it calms me down, let's me express my thoughts. Over all life is pretty good, but my condition makes people see me as a fucking joke. I don't know, it feels bad but if they don't respect me then fuck them.
>>28143557
iktf
i just want to be able to enjoy something, anything again, without having to be drunk or high
>>28143779
is that picture your artwork? could you post some of your stuff?
>TFW ADHD
>TFW amphetamines at lowest dose make me hallucinate after 4 days
>TFW methylphenidate at lowest dose makes me angry
Gonna try strattera soon and pray that it works
>>28144026
No that's not mine but Im not too bad. Will be going to calarts after I get a CS and economy at a more traditional college.
Btw I'm typing this shit on a phone that doesn't have any of my art on it. :(
I have OCD and without explaining it any more I only can say it fucking sucks. This piece of shit has made my life infinite times worse.
>>28144056
Pray? GG m8, if I were you I'd learn to control it (because I am like you and I did learn to control it) still, while I am against meds I can't deny that they do help some people.
>>28141745
I'm cool. Thanks anon. Lately I have been obsesively thinking about killing myself even at work.
Turns out you can't really design and write software when all you think about is suicide : )
>>28144782
No problem
And yeah, I have this problem with my classes. Can barely concentrate with all of the suicidal thoughts. Can't wait for my an hero date.
>>28144877
Ahh. And that unbearable feeling when you can't fall asleep at 6pm just to cease to exist.
Don't hero though anon. We are going to Thailand to farm and have chickens : )
>>28143438
According to DSM-V, the mood high only has to last 7 days to qualify as mania, or 4 days for hypomania. It could also be borderline personality disorder. From what I've read, (hypo)mania intensifies all emotions, with BPD you will have one overpowering one at a time and shift between them.
You can also have both bipolar and BPD.
>>28145093
p.s. You don't have to be constantly happy during the course of mania. You can have mixed episodes (agitated depression and dysphoric mania), you can have mania which manifests as irritability, and since mania tends to intensify every emotion, you can be really sad. The key thing is the increase of energy/activity.
>>28141827
I know what you mean man. I feel like the whole world's always been insane and I'm just seeing it for what it is.
I really want to kill many people before I die. The list includes my parents, brother, sisters, lecturers, teachers, relatives, shitty people from my schools days
>>28145436
Sounds like you've really been honing the sharp edge of your hatred.
>>28141745
I can't feel anything unless I'm in a life-threatening situation. Drugs, alcohol, sex, nothing makes me feel anything.
I only feel alive in combat.
>aspie
>took mdma, made me god at work
>get fired
>take mdma, just be awkward and jittery
Wtf
99% of the posts ITT are just fags who are feeling a little down
I was feeling particularly suicidal and alone yesterday, so I relapsed. It didn't help. Nothing helps. Alcohol, drugs, faith, gratitude, friends, family. Fucking nothing takes this away. Sometimes I might get a moments rest. I prayed last night more sincerely than ever to die in my sleep, but here I am. Fuck you god, just kill me.
What are the steps I can get to get therapy/medication?
>>28145517
Shitty father is snoring so loud, I can hear it in my room. It's 2.19 AM here
>>28144925
We wouId be good friends
>>28145653
and this post is desperate for attention, have some :)
Schizo here. Just had a bit of an episode at a public restaurant. People were looking at me funny.
>>28145937
What happened schizoanon?
>>28144125
Control it how?
>>28141745
> hit rock bottom where I no longer have the will to do anything let alone live
> get a cold the next day
I haven't left bed for 3 days and I don't see any way out of this
My parents drag me into their altercations, which happens everyday.
>>28145973
I was autistically stabbing a ketchup bottle with a knife. I'm not sure why
My father is poor, he have an illegal farm, and he works alone there. He used to work for a company, but he quits because of his shitty ego. He always ask my mother for money and insults my mother.
who /schzoid/ here?
Has anyone else ever tried hypnotherapy for social anxiety disorder? What should I expect?
Woo yo! What the fuck does this shit even mean?
i've got the meme ones
>severe social anxiety
>chronic depression
>panic attacks
>>28144093
Get on some prozac, fixed me up, and I went from being a construction grunt living in my sisters basement to having a gf, a good job, and getting my MBA. Get help, it changed my life.
>>28146448
It means you got raped
>>28146660
I know what happened fig
tfw no gf
Had a test today. I think I did well. But I'm so done with school now -- I don't want to do more schoolwork! Just want to drink desu.
i'm thinking about doing it on my birth day..
theres no way i'm going past 30 like this. Im 27 right now
