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This was 3 weeks ago, I haven't properly recovered yet and I don't know what to do.

>Be at cousins birthday party
>Family gatherings are always awkward despite knowing them all for my entire life
>my cousins are at the age where they all have partners, so there is that on top of the family to deal with
>around this time I was sick of being a NEET loser and was attempting to be more outgoing and friendly etc..
>anyway about 3 hours, and several drinks into the party I decide to try out my new pseudo confidence
>I tap my spoon on a glass, and climb onto the table
>my head nearly hit the light bulbs, and everyone was in shock, whispering among themselves
>I try to do a french accent
>"A toast, to my cousin. I've known you ever sin-"
>"WHAT THE FUCK"
>I nearly lost my balance as I jumped in fright
>"ANON PISSED HIMSELF ALL OVER THE FOOD"
>I had the sudden realization what was going on
>I ran off the table, ran outside and slept overnight in the local park (It was a nice area, and was very sheltered and safe)
>I walk home the next morning a total mess
>dad is working in the garage and doesn't look at me
>mom has clearly been crying
>I walk into my room
>a couple days later I see my cousins boyfriend, with his buddies
>they all laugh hysterically and shout at me
>"hey it's pee man!"
>I go home and check my facebook
>several messages from my aunty saying how I was a disgrace
> she also called me pee man in that message

I don't know what I should do, I tried to be good and nice like a normie but look what happened. I get treated like this. I was always pestered by everyone to become more outgoing and now when I did just that and make one small mistake I get fucking shunned. Meanwhile my Stacy cousin can shoot heroin and be a solo mom, normie cousins can be in and out of jail for robbery and everyone loves them just fine. Fuck it all. I'll be in my right mind to bring a 12 gauge to the next family gathering we have