Whats the funniest thing your father ever said to you?
>There are no bad boobs, only better.
Thanks dad
Idk he beat up some man and killed him, went to prison for life never saw him hes probably the reason im a neet now ;_;
>>28107442
my father is a crazy cunt and also ruined my life, thats pretty funny in and of itself
Nigger dad huh?
I didn't have a dad
The funniest thing my dad ever said was something someone told him. I make my father laugh. Not the other way around.
>>28107442
he isn't home most of the time because he's out working so much and I usually only see him once a week
but he told me a funny joke about insecure women/ugly women, it goes something like this..
>a man comes home from a hard day of work
>his wife decides to prank him
>she puts on a white, rubber gp-5 gas mask on and waits in the kitchen
>he walks into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee, he clearly notices her but no reaction
>his wife notices that he didn't react and initiates conversation with him
>"umm honey, did you notice anything new about me"
>he looks up, squints, looks oddly at her and replies..
>"what the fuck, did you shave your eyebrows, you crazy woman"
we laughed at it pretty hard
I have another joke if you guys like...
>>28107442
>tfw unfunny Dad
I love him but his sense of humour is such fucking low-brow fart joke and pie-in-the-face shit
My dad said have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn't come out yet.
/unfunnydadsgeneral/
>>28107739
that's actually quite clever
My dad taught me all sorts of swears and racial slurs while we drove. He'd go on hilarious rants about it too.
>>28107519
>and also ruined my life
how so?
>>28107442
One of the funniest things I remember my dad doing was BTFOing my mum when she divorced him.
>Be 13 and parents are divorcing
>Mum gets basically nothing because dad is a poorfag
>She starts crying in the divorce court upon hearing this
>My dad asks what she's crying for
>She say 'Muh lawyer said I'd get a lump sum'
>Dad says 'I'll give you a lump on your head, I'm not Mick fucking Jagger you silly cunt'.
>MFW
>"i once watched the night sky in the desert during my military days. When i woke up the next day my own men almost killed me with a tank"
>>28107957
your dad is fucking savage, yo
props to him
>>28107442
>at cousin's apartment
>cousin is a pot dealer
>My dad mooches off of him because he needs it to eat after quitting heroine
>Dad knocks on his door
>"Hey my withdrawal's acting up again I need a refill"
>"I can't just keep giving it to you for free I need to get paid"
>"I don't give a shit I need my fuckin weed"
>"I ain't giving it to you without money"
>"I need my fuckin weed you asshole"
>"if you can't pay, can't you at least order some take out?"
>"Ok fine, I'll put my dick down your throat then I'll take it out"
